Avery tried his best to concentrate on studying the Tao, tuning out all of the distracting shenanigans of the Sil’piceus. This was a cultivation world, and chances were that everything would get magically solved as his cultivation advanced. At least, he dearly hoped that would be the case.
He did first return to the real world, looking for a quick fix to his problem, making sure he was not overlooking any easy solution. He didn’t have any expectations, so he was not disappointed when nothing he tried worked. He soon ran out of ideas that could be immediately tested, and he gave up and moved his attention back to his visualization.
He had originally planned to retreat from his mental world for a lot longer. He wanted to re-familiarize himself with his body and make absolutely sure there were no hidden issues he had missed. He also wanted to see if it was possible to let the passage of time naturally sever the growing connection when he intentionally distanced himself from his inner universe.
However, he decided against conducting any extensive tests because of how ill at ease he now felt in his own body. It was not a downright painful experience or anything, it was just inhumanly uncomfortable.
It all felt alien now. He felt like a stranger in his body, an unwanted guest parasitizing his own flesh. Everything just felt so cold and inhospitable. He was not living in his body anymore, he was just piloting a fleshy mech, interacting with it through robotic controls and screens.
Compared to the warm embrace of his mental world, where the entire creation was celebrating his presence, it was almost unbearable. He did not want to stay in this desolate wasteland. He much preferred staying in his mental world, even if it was insidiously transforming him.
Inside his mind, he was at home, and he felt safe, he had an intense sense of belonging. It may all be fake, and it may be the delusions of a man hugging himself to feel a modicum of love, but it was still infinitely better than anything that the cold and merciless world outside had ever given him.
All this made him flee back to his welcoming inner realm as soon as he had done his due diligences investigating his body’s situation. It was not that he was unable to control himself and overcome this discomfort. This was far from the worst thing he had endured, although this was the first time he had an escape route. The problem was that he did not believe persevering would be necessary or even beneficial.
His domain was the product of numerous coincidences and risky bets. It was of a much higher tier than every other part of Avery, and with his current power, he seriously doubted he would be able to affect it in any way. It was not something he could recreate, control or fix.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
He also had a very slim expectation that the situation would somehow get better with the passive passage of time. He had a much deeper belief that he would eventually discover a solution at some point during his cultivation.
It was almost impossible to maintain a proper state of mind to study the Truth while inhabiting his inhospitable body, and he was lacking in motivation to do it anyways despite the difficulties. In the end, he decided against hedging his bets, and went all in on cultivation.
Before that, he did try to engrave a rune again. This had nothing to do with his problem, but engraving had accompanied him during the hardest years of his life. His relentless pursuit of points through rune crafting had been one of the only things keeping him sane, and it had led to the Tao revealing itself to him.
He had previously felt that his visualization was an inch away from producing enough intent to make his stylus obsolete, so he hoped that now he could pick his old profession back up.
His comprehension flowed through the visualization, transforming into a flood of intent, unlike anything he had ever produced. It rushed to his soul, where some mysterious transformation happened. Then, a seemingly endless stream of mana poured back out into his body, exiting his extended finger as glowing lines of translucent ink.
It was so great to draw a rune again. He was returning to his root, and he had a feeling that as soon as he completed his rune, something magical would happen. There seemed to be something incredibly important at stake, but he had no idea what it was.
With how much intent was flowing through his inner world, for a moment he was convinced his engraving would finish smoothly. He was unfortunately disillusioned when he discovered that his world’s tremendous advancements were still not enough to succeed.
There was a noticeable improvement, and the illusory lines he could draw with his fingers were much thicker and more consistent, but it was apparently still a tiny bit short of what was required to carve a successful rune.
He was slightly stunned by his sudden failure. He had felt very confident, his assurance growing with each second the tide of mana flowed through his arm, only to have it be abruptly shattered.
However, he soon recovered. It had taken him half a century to reach this point, so a few more years of work would not matter. At least he now knew for a fact that he was right, and that the improvements of his inner realm would enable him to engrave runes once again.
While he was not overly affected by his failure, it did mean that there was nothing left tying him to the outside world. He had settled all his doubts, making sure his body was still in good shape and that it was not too negatively affected by all the reality warping shenanigans that were occuring in his mind.
What he needed to do now was to wait for the next major advancement of his world, taking this time to dive deep into his research of the Tao.