One of the obvious signs of the change in mentality Avery had gone through was how desensitized to blood and violence he had become. Following the Owner’s journey meant watching hundreds of bloody battles to the death, something that would have previously horrified him. Now however, they barely registered.

  While it was true that he had already visualized very bloody scenes when he was trying to improve his runes, and even before that had watched plenty of violent movies without any problems, but that was different. They were just fake stories, and even then he had not liked anything too gory. No matter how many cruel acts these stories showed, ultimately it was of no consequence.

  However, this was not how he viewed his inner world. No matter whether he was right to do so or not, he considered it to be a completely real place, filled with real people. It might be immaterial and exist only in his mind, but it was nevertheless a real world, populated by real people.

  If he believed that, then he should be as emotionally impacted by what happened in it as if it happened in the outside world. The fact that it did not happen and that he had remained indifferent proved something was wrong.

  Avery knew himself. He used to feel queasy at the sight of blood, and hated to look at any wounds more serious than a papercut. That didn’t mean he could not control himself and act reasonably, for example helping clean a deep cut if need be, it just meant he would feel very uncomfortable doing so.

  Of course, his willpower had grown immensely since that time, but that would only help his self-control, and would not suddenly make something he found uncomfortable appealing.

  He was scared of how he was carelessly dismissing the pain and suffering the creatures of his inner world went through. On average, the Owner went through at least one bloody fight a day, which often ended with limbs ripped apart, melting internal organs and blood flying everywhere.

  Through his Dao sight, Avery could see everything in incredible detail, but he never felt any discomfort or distaste for the excessive violence. Only mild amusement that his pets were playing around.

  This was already quite a radical change to his personality, but if it was limited to that, he would not have minded overly. He did not live in a peaceful country protected by rules and regulations anymore. Being indifferent to violence might even be an advantage when he finally met other cultivators.

  There was no doubt he was different from the past, he had already noticed that when he had been exploring the changes that becoming a living world meant. He was what he was now, and past Avery was no longer his concern.

  The problem was that it went deeper than that. His mind was being transformed to suit his position in the world, but that was not the position of God. It was the position of the Tao, and the Tao had no likes or dislikes, desires or distaste.

  Avery was pretty sure that if he let things continue like this, he would gradually lose all of his autonomy. He would be an emotionless machine, rigidly following pre established routines.

  While fully becoming a half-virtual Tao sounded like it was very close to Avery’s goal, it was actually very different. He wanted to become a Saint, which would mean attaining the Truth while retaining his individuality and desires.

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  Becoming a virtual Tao was skipping ahead a hundred steps with almost no effort, but like every single shortcut he had found, it came with a massive drawback.The mental world had grown too strong, and it had caused a crippling imbalance in Avery’s existence.

  Not only did he risk losing all emotions and everything that made him an intelligent being with free will, he also had a growing fear that he was losing his way. He had planned to use his mental world to aid his exploration of the Avenue, and that had been going great.

  However, while his knowledge of the Tao was growing ever deeper, his connection and intimacy with it was waning instead of increasing. He was merging with a virtual world, and risked totally losing contact with the physical one. It was as he had feared, this breakthrough had given him immense short term benefits, but it also threatened to destroy his path.

  The worst thing was that while he was aware of the problem, he had no clue on how he was supposed to fix it. The mental world already dominated his existence, and he had no way of going back.

  The only thing he could do was to deepen his comprehension of the Tao, and hope he would find a way to reverse this change once his knowledge grew. This was what he was already doing, since studying his mental world was the best way he found to explore the Tao.

  His habit of observing the Sil’piceus adventures was not only for idle entertainment. It was also a way for him to research Daos that were intrinsically linked to sentient creatures.

  He was not passively watching a movie, he was pausing at every frame and contemplating how everything worked, trying to figure out the causes and effects of everything.

  Many arcane concepts, like war, love, hunger or family could not really be experienced when he was exiled alone on a barren land. If he could not live through them himself, then he needed to at least see other beings feel them.

  Normally it would be unthinkable to learn about the concepts just from observation. For example, you could never learn the Dao of hunting just from watching someone hunt. You could not walk the Great Way without actions, since only by acting would you actually interact with it.

  Avery was only able to learn from his observations because of his partial omniscience, and because of his status as the creator of this world. First, his Dao sight let him see the actual laws at work, so it was much easier to study concepts from afar.

  Secondly, the entire world was a part of him, so when a creature went hunting, in a way Avery himself was also going hunting. This was one of the positive aspects of becoming a living world.

  Whenever a creature of his world learned something, Avery would learn it too. It was not like his own memories where the knowledge was easily accessible, but it was present somewhere similar to his subconscious. It would supplement his thinking and aid him in his efforts to comprehend the universe.

  He was the world, so as it advanced, he would progress too. The appearance of a primitive civilisation was not only good for abating his loneliness, it was also another way for him to cultivate his mind.

  As the Sil’piceus grew, they would inevitably make the world advance and perfect itself, growing ever closer to the real world. Avery was its incarnation, so it would also gradually elevate his life level.

  Perhaps this was another valid way to attain the truth. Instead of painstakingly cultivating for eons to become a Saint, he could abandon his resistance, fully merge with this world, and truly become the Tao. This would of course mean he would lose his intelligence and free will, so Avery had no intention of going down that path.

  In the end, he had many worries, but he believed he was already doing his best. He knew something was wrong, and that he needed to fix something, but he had no way to do it. He was helpless to do anything about his change in nature, and could only continue on the path he was treading, doing his best to think of a solution.