The next few weeks passed in a blur of activity. The Alaric brought my crew and I back to Starbase 10 three days after their first arrival at New Jerusalem. The rest of DESRON Two remained on station to keep an eye out for any additional Klingons who might attempt to take advantage of the situation. From there began an endless stream of briefings, then hearings and finally, much to my surprise, congratulations.
My crew had been right about one thing, Starfleet had no intention of drumming me out of the service, not when I could serve as the next “Hero Captain of the week.” as Decker used to call it. My court martial ended up being broadcast to the wider Federation. I tried to avoid reading what the news was saying about me, as their opinions of me were as varied as the number of member worlds in the Federation. I busied myself instead with reports, correspondence and, unfortunately writing letters to the families of the deceased. In total we had lost thirty-two of the crew. Four had been unable to escape the Resolute’s crash while another twenty eight had been killed in action fighting the Klingons. I did my best to learn as much about each of them from their logs in our recovered data banks so I could share as much with their next of kin. Some I already knew, like Ensign Jeon and Crewperson Sh’Vraal and I found their letters easier to write, while others like Crewpersons Howard and Rogriss forced me to lean on their shipmates for additional information. It is always a bittersweet conversation, sharing memories of a fallen crewmate. It rapidly changes between a celebration of who they were and how they touched the lives of those around them before swinging wildly into long stretches of near inconsolable grief. Honestly, I found those conversations helped the grieving process and I tried to make time for them as soon as my crew were ready to have them.
The court martial itself dragged out for another two weeks but became evident fairly early that it was being conducted as a formality and the admiralty had no intention of charging me with anything meaningful. What did surprise me was the sheer number of officers that testified in my defense. The entirety of my senior staff alongside Captains Aleya and Jamison and even my old C.O. Commodore Wesley spoke on my behalf. Added to this already impressive tally were multiple volunteers from the Resolute’s crew, the Suliban refugees and even citizens of New Jerusalem. Combined with the fact that these hearings were being broadcast, they soon turned into more of a recruiting tool, designed to extoll the virtues of Starfleet and boost confidence in the idea that we could still defend Federation values in the Triangle even after Caleb IV. For my part I didn't care, I played the part of the humble captain who had just done her duty, just like any other captain would have. Privately I wanted this to be over. Since I knew that Starfleet didn't see any issues with my conduct, I just wanted to move on to my next posting.
The hearing on my use of Directive Twelve was in many ways worse than my court martial. Through what I considered a frustrating twist of fate my crew had saved the colonial government from the Resolute’s destruction. This was a double edged sword, as on the one hand it allowed them to testify against me which prolonged the hearing as they piled damning witness statements on top of damning witness statements. On the other, once my hearing concluded it allowed them to stand trial for their treatment of the refugees. On the whole I was glad that many of them would face the prison sentence I had dreaded for myself. The official verdict from the hearing was a formal reprimand for disregarding the authority of a civilian government and a private clap on the back from Admiral Rittenhouse for putting those “pencil pushers” in their place.
Aside from the tedium of reports and hearings, the other constants in my life were my friends and crew. Not a day would go by without someone dropping by my quarters to share some news or a meal with me. As I was technically under arrest pending the end of my court martial and prohibited from leaving my quarters, I welcomed these distractions. What little time I spent alone I filled with exercise, doing my best to follow Doctor Truong’s recommendations for my heart. Cserr spent the most time with me. Her arm had been replaced with an artificial one once we had arrived back at Starbase 10 and she was still getting used to it. It caused her no end of difficulties much to my entertainment. Despite my good natured teasing, we enjoyed our time together during my trial and the Aurora’s refit. I was still feeling Sala’s continued absence over the weeks and had finally mustered the courage to tell Cserr everything that had happened between us. She was understanding and clearly a little disappointed that things hadn’t worked out for me. I took it much worse than I even let on to her though. I spent many nights at the start of my court martial lying awake trying to figure out what I had done wrong to cause Sala to disappear from my life.
The most surprising event occurred after the conclusion of my trial. The crews of the Resolute, Aurora and Alaric alongside the crews of four other starships were assembled in one of Starbase 10’s massive cargo bays. Here Admiral Rittenhouse paraded me out in front of the assembled ranks of all seven crews and pinned the Karagite Order of Heroism on my chest and formally welcomed me back to active duty. Even more extraordinary was not only my return to active duty, but that I was being assigned a new command. The U.S.S. Swordfish, a Kirov class strike cruiser had been laid up for its first five year refit and its crew had been either been promoted or transferred. This ship was mine, if I wanted it. I accepted without hesitating. I couldn't believe my luck, not only was I getting the center chair back, but it would be at the head of one of the Federation's top of the line warships. Admiral Rittenhouse shared with me in a private moment during the reception that he wanted “someone with the stones for it,” commanding one of the Second Fleet's heaviest cruisers. Once I had picked my new crew and finished my medically mandated leave I would head back into the Triangle. It didn't take me long to secure myself a crew. The Resolute’s volunteered en masse and I filled what gaps we had with graduates from the class of 2260 and newly promoted officers from other ships. In seven days we would depart on a mission to fly the Federation flag in the R’ongovian Protectorate. Our first mission onboard our new ship.
I had just finished my tour of the Swordfish with Commodore Wesley and had returned to inspect my quarters. I was still taken aback at the size of them. I had no idea how I would use all of the space. Maybe Cserr or even Marcus could help me decorate before we left Starbase 10. I was technically on leave for the next few days and I found myself in the unique position of having nothing to do. I had noticed a certain ambivalence settling over me whenever I found myself alone and had done my best to fill my time with my new ship and crew. At dinner last night Commodore Wesley had mentioned I seemed to be less morose than I had been during my trial and honestly I agreed with him. My supposition back on New Jerusalem had been correct. It had been a battlefield fling, brought on by our shared hardships and had ended the moment the danger had passed, despite my confession before my fight with Klaugh. Though I was grateful for her support during those terrible days, I understood why it wouldn’t last. For better or worse, I was moving on.
I checked on the PADD the quartermaster had left on my desk. All of my personal effects had been brought over from Starbase 10 and either stored in one of the cargo bays or left in my bedroom. I was already carrying a bag of my essentials, giving me no reason to unpack whatever had been brought for me so I instead decided to take the opportunity to write a letter to my parents. No doubt they would be hearing of the last few weeks events from the Federation news service and I wanted to share with them the details I knew the reporters would leave out or embellish. I entered my bedroom and tossed the PADD on my bed so I could confirm the contents of the cases later at my leisure. I still couldn't believe my quarters had a separate bedroom in addition to the head and private living space. Though small and currently crowded with most of all I owned in the galaxy, all of this was still mine. Though truthfully they still felt empty. I put my travel bag on my nightstand and began the process of unpacking. A few spare changes of clothes, my toiletries, travel makeup kit and hairbrush soon found their new homes in my quarters alongside an unexpected addition. Somehow my first officer had managed to slip a bottle of Andorian Ale into my travel bag when I wasn't paying attention, if the note tied around the bottle's neck was to be believed. Exiting my bedroom, I retrieved a glass before sitting at my computer terminal, one of the only pre-existing pieces of furniture in the space. I poured a glass and began working on my letter. Corresponding with my parents had always been difficult, full of uncomfortable questions, unwanted comparisons and a whole layer of judgment for who I was and my career. Still they deserved to hear from me and I would do the work.
I was most of the way through my second glass when something clicked in my head. There had been something on one of the crates! I had been running on autopilot and hadn’t registered anything was out of place. Likely a gift from another of my crew or Cserr, entrusted to the quartermaster to deliver. Intrigued, I stood up from my attempt at a letter and re-entered my bedroom. I was right, something had been left on the cases. A paper note accompanied by a single pink flower. I recognized the flower immediately, it was the same one Sala had placed in my hair that night in the garden. Oh, so this is how I would find out for sure we were over. It was kind of her to send me a note at least to confirm, and a small reminder of what we had shared. I would need to have Yamina identify the flower at some point, maybe I could dry and frame this one so I could always have a reminder. That would be a good memory of yet another who got away. I returned to my desk carrying the note and the flower, placing both gingerly next to my screen. With a sigh, I picked up the note. It was a poem, one I was unfamiliar with though poetry was never my strong suite. Its words at least to my interpretation described an ending. This was it then. I set the note back down and refilled my glass. This was going to be a long afternoon.
My letter to my parents continued to elude me, so I decided a change of pace was needed. I dismissed my draft and pulled up the controls for my sound system, pausing what was currently playing. At that moment, with my music paused and the only sound a gentle hum common to all starships, I heard it. A thump from my private head. Someone or something was in my quarters! I thumbed from my sound system controls to my communications panel, sending a silent alarm to ship's security. I wasn’t about to wait for them, however. Grabbing the closest weapon, my bottle of Andorian Ale in this case, I stalked back to my bedroom. Already I was regretting not removing my uniform boots, the heels of which clicked loudly on the bare deck of my quarters, but it couldn't be helped. Within moments I had closed the distance, my fingers resting gingerly on the open button. I swallowed, raising the bottle and pressing the button simultaneously. The door opened with a hiss.
“Aww dang it, you found me! I thought I was being so quiet too.” Sala stood in my ensuite, clutching a box to her chest, a fake pout on her face. I dropped the bottle and it clattered loudly to the deck, fortunately unbroken. I couldn’t believe it. It had been almost two months since we had last seen each other and here she was standing in my quarters on a starship about to get underway on one of the most secure installations on this side of the Federation.
“How are you here?” I balked, my brain completely short circuiting with questions.
“That's all you have to say?” she teased in response. “No wow Sala it's been a while, or hey Sala it's great to see you or I missed you so much Sala?” Rather than fumble with an answer I took a chance. Grabbing the box she was clutching with one hand I placed it on the counter. At the same time I wrapped my other hand around her waist and pulled her against me. Sala ‘eep’d’ as I moved her and put both her arms on my chest.
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“Well that's one way to say hello!” Her voice was breathy. I decided to go one step further. In a mirror of our first kiss so long ago, I slipped my free hand under her chin to tilt her head up to look at me. This time I led, our lips crashing together. To my utter joy she returned it. After a moment we separated.
“Wow ok, I thought you might be mad at me. I did just sort of disappear on you.” she looked away as she spoke, clearly ashamed of her actions. I couldn’t let that stand.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset.” I replied. No more deflect, reassure and manage for me, not between Sala and me. “I missed you during everything.”
“I’m so sorry Niah, first they bundled you off to a ship in orbit before I could come back to the hospital, then I found out you're here on Starbase 10 on trial, like you said you would be. I was so worried you were right.” She was looking away again.
“Why don't we go sit down and you tell me what happened ok?” She nodded and I led her to the couch that sat under the windows that filled the wall opposite the door. I had left the lights of my quarters dimmed, so currently the white interior lights of Starbase 10 shone through them casting everything in a soft white glow. It reminded me of moonlight. I sat down on the couch, resting my calf on my knee and reclining while Sala sat on the opposite end, pensively fiddling with her hands. I gestured for her to continue.
“I had a few things I had wanted to wrap up on New Jerusalem before leaving and by the time I was done you were gone. Starfleet wouldn't let me talk to you either since you were under arrest, and I didn’t know how to get in contact with anyone else. Finally I just decided to say screw it and bought transport here. I arrived last week.”
“Sala, that was quite the risk!” I meant it, passage for Suliban was risky with unscrupulous captains sometimes turning them over to the Klingons for a bounty. “So obviously something had to happen between then and you winding up hiding in my quarters.”
“Well I managed to catch a break. I just happened to bump into one of your crew. The Saurian, Risi I’m pretty sure.” Oh right, I had called security! I shot to my feet and sprinted to the computer to cancel the alarm. Unfortunately I was too late. The door to my quarters opened and Lieutenant Risi and two of the biggest security ensigns I had ever seen burst into my quarters, phaser rifles at low ready in a perfect room breach. I was actually impressed, clearly Risi took this seriously.
“Clear!” One of the ensigns called and Risi repeated it back. Only after securing the space did they turn their attention to me. I saw Risi’s eyes flick between me and Sala, still sitting on my couch. My antennae flatted.
“False alarm.” I said, shrugging and smiling while three pairs of eyes stared at me. The security team relaxed slightly.
“Oh good she found you.” Risi stated, finally breaking the awkward silence. Sala waved to him from the couch. “Ok it is a false alarm, good work team.” He lowered his rifle and the two ensigns followed suit. The team filed out, Risi throwing a wave back to Sala once the ensigns couldn't see.
“So the two of you know each other now?” I asked, still unsure of what happened between her and my security chief. I returned to my spot on the couch as Sala continued.
“He actually helped me plan this. Once we knew you would be busy he would let me in to deliver the note and your gift.” Right, the box she had been holding. “But when I heard the door open I panicked and hid. On the chance it wasn’t you the last thing I wanted to be was the stereotypical Suliban creeping around the new captains quarters.” She threw her hands up. “Ugh but I hid anyway! Why did I do that?”
“You couldn't be sure who it was. Plus even if it was me, I’m pretty jumpy. I almost hit you with a bottle.” She laughed at my reply. “I do have one question though. The poem. The way I read it, it seems like something you would send for a breakup. After listening to everything you described here, I’m certain that's not what you’re after.”
“I take it that literature is another subject you didn’t do well in at the academy?” She teased.
“I’m not dignifying that with an answer.” I shot back, flustered. How did she know about my grades, who else had she talked to?
“It's about an ending, sure, but it describes the ending of a part of one's life. In this case for the both of us. We were both different people when we met on that awful planet. We get to be our new selves in no small part thanks to you. And I was really hoping that we could be our new selves together.” I mulled this over for a moment, trying to come up with a reply, though words failed me. Time for action again! I slid down the couch so I could be next to her. My movement drew her attention and she looked over at me. I wrapped my arm around her and she leaned in, head resting on my chest.
“Is that a yes?” She asked. I kissed the top of her head as a response. We stayed like that for a while, happy to just be together again after so long. Eventually my curiosity got the best of me.
“So how did you know about my grades? There's only a few people who would know that.” I was dreading her answer, sure I already knew who it was and what I was in for the next time we saw one another.
“Oh I met your friend Cserr here on the Starbase. Your first officer introduced us. We actually talked earlier today.” I was put off at how nonchalantly she answered this question. Any time spent with Cserr, especially if you got her talking, was something to remember. Especially with how much that woman knew about me. I could only imagine what she had told Sala.
“When were you talking to Cserr? What did she tell you? You have to tell me!”
“I bumped into her and a few other officers who I think were from her ship. It was while I was buying these plants. She wanted to spend more time with me and we had lunch together. I think she said something about coming by later today.” That teasing lilt was back, and as annoyed as I was about Sala meeting with my blabbermouth best friend without being there to do damage control, a part of me was happy they were able to get along so well.
“Well I categorically deny anything she told you.” I replied in an attempt to save face. Cserr loved nothing more than pushing my buttons and sharing every embarrassing moment of my life at the drop of a hat. I had no doubt that she had used their chance meeting to share every detail I might want to keep from Sala.
“Really? That's too bad.” The teasing was still there, but I couldn't figure out what Cserr had told her that might make her respond like this. “She actually told me something really interesting about you. I’d be sad if it wasn't true.”
“Oh?” I asked in response. I was legitimately curious about what Cserr had said, nothing sprung to my mind that fit Sala’s description. Sala took a big drink before continuing.
“Well, we had just finished eating and she leans in close and says Sala, whatever you do don’t tell Niah I told you this.” I gulped, this was going to be bad. Sala continued. “Cserr says. I have it on good authority that Niah is head over heels for you. She told me that apparently I was all you talked about while the two of you were preparing your defense. She told me how sad you were when you thought I had left you and how she’d catch you starting out the Starbase window when you thought she wasn't looking.” Ahh she had noticed my little wistful moments when we’d been in the trenches of my trial. Normally I would have been mortified to show someone, even someone I’d known as long as Cserr something that vulnerable, but now? Now it was alright. Sala continued.
“These are her words specifically, mind you,” She pointed directly at me. “Despite you being hard headed, too brave for your own good and very very stupid sometimes, I was apparently very lucky to have you.” I had no words, though my body betrayed how I was feeling in its treacherous way. She looked away nervously before speaking again.
“You want to know what? I think I agree with her. You are very stupid in a lot of ways. Who takes on a Klingon with a knife? But, I also think I love that about you. I love that you always think about others and that you don’t let fear get the better of you. I love that you didn't care about the consequences back on that awful planet, you put your career and life on the line for a bunch of people you didn't know who weren't even Federation citizens a year ago. I love that you care about your crew and that you are so supportive of them.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “You asked me that morning after the garden what I saw in you. Well this is it.” This was not at all what I had thought Sala would say, and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to be closer to her.
“It's not just that either. There's so many little things about you.” She whispered quietly. “You really know how to make a girl feel safe.” An idea struck me. I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol giving me false confidence or if it was actually a good idea, but if Sala liked it when I was stupid, then now was my chance to be a little stupid. She was someone I felt safe being stupid around. I gave her a reassuring squeeze before standing up and she let out a sad groan as I pulled away.
“Don't worry, I promise you’ll like it.” I said. “There's something I've been wanting to show you.” I wanked back to my desk and spun my computer screen back to face me. I remembered Sala’s interest when I talked with the Doctor about Earth music, and this seemed as good a time as any to indulge her curiosity. Thinking quickly as to not spoil the mood, I pulled up one of my slower, more intimate playlists. The speakers recessed into the walls of my quarter sprung to life as I slid the dimmer switch for the lights to off.
“There!” I said with a self-satisfied grin on my face as I backed away from my screen and out into one of the columns of light shining through my windows. I turned on my heels to face the couch again and held my arms out. “Sala, may I have this dance?” Only my treacherous antennae betrayed the uncertainty I felt. Her hand rose to cover her mouth and I swore I heard a quiet gasp. She rose wordlessly to join me in the pillar of light and I pulled her to me. Hands clasped, we began to move to the music. Again Sala rested her head against my chest, at least partially because of our height difference but I knew deep down she felt safe like that.
“So is this is that human music you were talking with the doctor about?” She asked, not looking up.
“Yep.” I replied, popping the p.
“Huh, I think I like it. At least I like this.” She followed my lead as we slowly danced. One song soon led into another and we continued, pressed into one another. It was wonderful to be so cut off from the chaos of our lives, just a singular moment the two of us shared bathed in the glow of the Starbase’s interior lighting. I found myself softly singing along to the song as I held her. The words tumbled out of me without any restraint and I could hear my voice cracking as I sang. I barely finished the first chorus and Sala looked up at me.
“Hey, you ok?” She asked. I knew at that moment if I spoke I would spend the rest of the night crying, so I did the only thing else I could think of. I tilted my head down and kissed her. She reciprocated the kiss and we stood silhouetted in a beam of light, completely lost in each other. One kiss quickly turned into another and we stayed like that as the song changed again. Finally our lips parted and she looked up at me.
“You really know how to make me feel special, Niah and that is not something I am used to.” She said softly. I met her gaze, still holding her against me in the embrace of our slow dance.
“Well we finally have a future to look forward to.” I replied. “And we have all that time for me to show you just how much you mean to me.” I kissed her on the forehead and we continued our dance, wrapped in each others’ arms. As the song changed again, I was struck with inspiration. I leaned down level with her ear and whispered, my voice low and husky.
“Give me a moment and I’ll show you how special you really are.” As far as I can tell Suliban can't blush, but from the expression on her face, she would have been bright red. I let go of her and unwrapped her arms from around my waist. I dashed to my computer, silently cursing whoever had these quarters last for not installing separate sound system controls. I urgently flicked through my playlists, my heart thundering in my chest with excitement. Settling on the one I wanted I hit shuffle and set it to loop, if everything worked out I wouldn't be anywhere near this console for the next few hours and I didn’t want it to stop. I glanced up at Sala before hitting play. She stood haloed in the light shining through my window, her hands clasped over her heart and she was staring directly at me. She had never looked so beautiful. With a smile I tapped the play button. The music changed, now more up-tempo and with much more bass. Unafraid of embarrassment at this moment I half walked, half danced back to Sala who giggled at my ridiculous antics. I knew I had a ridiculous grin on my face, but I didn't care, I was about to make her night. She opened her arms as I approached to welcome me back to her embrace, but I had other plans. I moved to her side and with one swift motion picked her up in a bridal carry. She giggled as I scooped her up and wrapped both her arms around my neck.
“Ohhh so strong!” She said almost teasingly. I looked down at her, still with my big stupid smile beaming on my face. Her eyes were sparkling in the light and she looked radiant. Rather than reply I just kissed her.
“I try my best.” I replied as our lips parted. “And last time I checked, I did fight that Klingon for you. Couldn’t have done it without them.” I did my best to flex while holding her.
“You fought him for me?” she asked with faux surprise. This was a conversation we had already had, but I still liked to bring it up when I was feeling romantic.
“Sure did!” I kissed her again. “I would do it a thousand times over. Now come on, let me show you what else these muscles can do.” She giggled and I carried her to my bedroom.