I sank to my knees in exhaustion. I couldn't remember a time I had ever been this tired. My legs burned, the old injury in my right and the new one in my left screamed at me as the adrenaline wore off. Everything hurt in this moment, and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to sleep forever. I was dimly aware of people crowding around me but I couldn't make out their voices over the pounding of blood in my ears. I felt something cool press against the skin of my neck and in seconds my head started to clear as whatever pain killer I had been given started to work. I coughed and looked around me. I was surrounded by my crew. Nurse Namkosse crouched next to me, a hypospray in her hand, next to her stood Yamina, a worried look in her eyes as she stared down at me. To my right was Chief Phenna, wearing a huge grin that split her face in pride. Bray stood a pace back from her, arms crossed over his chest and nodded approvingly as our eyes met. Lastly in the middle of the group was Sala, crouched down to meet me on my level. She opened her mouth to speak but the roar of the Klingon raptors taking flight drowned her out, so he just threw her arms around me.
“Everything…hurts.” I managed to croak out, much to the entertainment of the people around me, who began a chorus of clearly nervous laughter. Except for Sala, who seemed content to just hold me and quietly cry. I hoped they were tears of happiness.
“Don't speak, Captain.” Nurse Namkosse said from next to me as she checked my vitals with a tricorder. “Doctor Truong’s en route on the Savitskaya, we’ll get you back to the hospital soon.” I sighed. It did hurt to speak, but I had so many questions so I pushed past the pain.
“Marcus, the other survivors?” I asked, my broken ribs grinding against one another.
“They’re fine,” Bray replied. “Risi’s got them, it looks like everyone’s accounted for.” Our first bit of good news since this had all started. I closed my eyes, content to just feel Sala’s weight against me.
“Thank you for keeping your promise.” she whispered quietly and I looked down at her. “Thank you for coming back to me.” I opened my mouth to reply but she hushed me. “Shhh you heard what the nurse said, no talking ok?” I nodded in response and closed my eyes again.
I don't know how long it took for the Savitskaya to arrive. Three minutes was the technical answer but time had lost all meaning for me. I managed to be conscious enough to board the shuttle under my own power, accompanied by Nurse Namkosse, Sala and the cheers of all those assembled. They sat me in one of the bucket seats and Sala secured my harness before strapping herself in. Doctor Truong sat next to me, running his tricorders sensor probe over the entirety of my body. He was talking, but I couldn't make anything out, but I could at least tell that Sala was listening from the way she tilted her head to focus on his words. I rested my head on the hull of the shuttle and was soon drifting in and out of consciousness as we returned to the field hospital. I remembered being carried in on a stretcher and placed on a bio bed but after another hypospray, nothing.
I finally came to my senses a few hours later in a bio bed surrounded by a privacy screen. I groaned loudly as all the pain came flooding back to me as I shifted on the bio bed. Just past the privacy screen I could hear the commotion from the hospital surrounding me and moved to sit up to get a better look at my surroundings despite the pain.
“Oh good you’re awake.” A voice said from behind me. Doctor Truong stepped through the privacy screen at my shoulder and sat next to me on a chair that had been brought in. He continued.
“I imagine you’re about to be very busy, but I need to talk to you before anyone else. Good news first, you’ll be alright. I had to perform surgery to repair your ribs and your leg will be in a brace for a few days, but that's it.” His face darkened as he spoke next. “Now the bad news. That stimulant I gave you, it's probably the only reason you’re still alive but it burned you out. Your heart is damaged. We can fix it, but it will take time. It's going to be a while until you can return to duty.” I wanted to reply that it would be unlikely with my conduct I would ever return to duty, but my body betrayed me and my only reply was another groan.
“I know it hurts, here.” He pressed a hypo to my arm and the pain started to clear up. “That's your last dose for a while, doctors’ orders. I’ll start sending everyone in momentarily, but I just wanted to say, hell of a job out there captain. We all owe you our lives for everything you did.” I wanted to argue this, to tell him how my stubborn pride was the reason we were in this mess to begin with, but my body still wouldn't speak. He stood up from the chair and stepped through the screen. I could hear him shouting something about me being awake, but the screen muffled his words. I lay back down.
Shortly after he left the screen was pushed aside and Commander Fane and another human man I didn't know entered. Commander Fane’s arm was bound tightly in a sling and auto suturing bandages covered much of his exposed skin. Somehow he had been able to scrounge up a fresh commander's uniform and the clean gold contrasted against his injuries. The other man also wore gold and was a captain according to the stripes at his wrist. He was an older man, with white hair and a face that likely normally looked severe but today was lit with a smile. Commander Fane spoke.
“Captain, allow me to introduce Captain Neil Jamison of the U.S.S. Alaric.” Captain Jamison moved to extend a hand automatically, but upon seeing my condition pulled it back and instead spoke.
“Pleasure to meet you, Captain Zh’kaarrin. I’m the commander of DESRON Two. We were three sectors over and heard your initial reports late yesterday. We’ve been pushing our engines at maximum to get to you ever since. We were lucky too, the Aurora managed to provide us detailed sensor scans on our way in, letting us drop out of warp right on top of the Klingons. The D7 managed to slip away but we destroyed or impounded all of the Orion ships.” I couldn’t believe our luck, Starfleet had been listening after all. It was all worth it. I forced myself up on my elbows.
“Someone heard us after all?” I asked, still trying to get my mouth to properly form words.
“We did Captain, I apologize for maintaining radio silence, but we couldn't let the Klingons know we were coming until we were right on top of them.” He elaborated. “And that's not all, we have more good news. We managed to find your ship, it is resting almost a half of a kilometer down at the bottom of the ocean but we found survivors. It looks like most of those aboard were able to make it to escape pods as it re-entered. The pods ended up scattered over a series of islands around the impact site. I’ve got the U.S.S Black Prince coordinating the rescue as we speak.” I was still in shock at our good luck. My crew had survived? I hadn't killed everyone with my hubris? I found myself overwhelmed and unable to speak yet again.
“Look at this Captain.” Commander Fane spoke. He motioned his good arm outside of the privacy screen and momentarily Commander Foro joined us. She was reverently carrying something wrapped in a cloth in her arms, like it was a sacred relic.
“Look what the Black Prince was able to recover from the bottom.” She said excitedly and unfolded the cloth. It was the Resolute’s dedication plaque!. The Ships name followed by names of the staff at Utopia Planitia born proudly alongside the ship's motto, taken from an old earth poem all cast in brass. I read the motto aloud.
“Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.” I recited from the plaque. The poem was titled Invictus and I had familiarized myself with it when I took command of the ship. The word itself meant unconquered in a dead human language and the poem itself echoed that sentiment, which had always resonated with me. I had managed to procure a paper copy of the poem in my travels and it was amongst my most prized possessions, safely stored away on Starbase 10. My three guests smiled at my words.
“For I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” Marcus replied, quoting the last two lines of the poem back at me. After a beat he continued. “I’ll miss that ship, but Yamina here was telling me this isn't such a bad fate for her.” I looked at both of them puzzled but Commander Foro elaborated.
“The Resolute crashed near a collection of natural reefs. If the coral here is anything like that which we have seen on other worlds, it won't be long until the ship is reclaimed by the ocean and is itself added to their unique structure.” Yamina was very excited to share this information and I let her enjoy herself. She had earned it. She continued, heedless of her excitement.
“Humans actually used to do something similar to help reefs recover from ecological disaster. They would sink old warships to form the basis of new reefs to try to reverse the effects of the damage. It looks like we’ve accidentally done the same here. The Black Prince is working to remove most contaminating substances from the wreckage too, so whatever damage the crash caused should bounce back quickly.” She was almost bouncing at this point and I tapped the bed with my fingers in our agreed upon delta shape to remind her of our previous conversation. I certainly wanted to hear this, but I also didn't want her to feel embarrassed. She noticed and smiled at me, the restless energy settling in her body.
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
“The old warhorse has found a peaceful place to be put out to pasture.” Commander Fane added. “I have to say, right now I’m a little jealous.” he rotated the shoulder of the arm in his sling for emphasis and winced.
“We could all be so lucky.” I groaned and laid back down, the strength in my arms failing me. Captain Jamison cleared his throat.
“Captain, I don't want to keep you long, but I just wanted to say. I’ve been briefed about what happened down here and you’ve done a hell of a thing. I could only hope I or any other Starfleet captain would have been as brave in this situation. I know you’ll have to face a court martial for losing your ship, but I want you to know, I’ll be in your corner any way I can.” He paused a moment before continuing. ‘As a personal request, could I shake your hand?” I looked at him baffled for a moment before raising my right arm. He took my hand in both of his and shook it firmly. I still couldn't believe everything that I was hearing. Had I died? Was this some sort of afterlife or was I just imagining a better future in my last few seconds of life.
“Thank you Captain Zh’kaarrin. Once the doctor tells us it's safe to move you, we’ll bring you up to the Alaric’s sickbay.” With that he turned and slipped through the privacy screen. I was left staring at my officers.
“What was that?” I managed to finally get out. Commander Fane smiled his trademark smile.
“Oh if you think that's bad, just wait until you can finally leave this place. There's a camp forming around the hospital. Suliban mostly, but more than a few locals. You’re something of a local hero, and the people want to see you. I groaned and turned away from them to hide my blush, but unable to hide the flattening of my antennae. He continued teasing me.
“You’re going to have to get used to this Niah. This is one of those events that earns its own name. This is going to be attached to you for a while.” He said, almost taunting me with the fact I was about to become famous. At least my Zhavey would have something to brag about at the next clan gathering.
“As long as all of you don't start.” I waved my hand dismissively at his words, still not turning back to face them. “In fact I order you to do damage control. Stop this from turning into something bigger than it is.”
“You’re not on duty Captain, you’re on medical leave.” Commander Foro replied, getting in on the teasing. “You can't order us to do that even if we wanted to.” She paused for a second “uh ma’am.” I laughed.
“You said it yourself, I’m not on duty, so don't worry about the ma’am stuff right now, that's an order.” I replied and they both laughed. We enjoyed a moment of quiet silence together as their laughter died down. It was nice to think we could laugh again after everything we had just been through.
“One more thing Captain. I think you’ll be wanting this.” I was intrigued by his statement and rolled back over to face them. Commander Fane presented me with a small box about the length of my forearm. Unable to muster the strength to open it, I motioned for him to do it. Removing the top, he revealed Captain Klaugh’s d'k tahg. The weapon was beautiful, the handle made from a polished crimson metal wrapped in supple deep brown leather. The blade itself was polished to a mirror's sheen and lethally sharp. Miniscule Klingonese script covered the flat of the blade, carved there by a master. It was one of the finest blades I had ever seen. After giving me a moment to take it in, Commander Fane spoke again.
“He left it here but took his bat’leth back. I think he wanted you to have it. A sign of respect maybe?”
“No,” I replied, my voice serious. “It's a challenge, Klaugh’s letting me know he wants it back. It's a reminder that we’re not finished.” My response had darkened the otherwise cheerful mood, as the danger this challenge represented started to sink in.
“We’ll take our leave now Captain.” Commander Fane added after a moment. “There is someone here who would like to see you.” Both Marcus and Yamina smiled down at me. Yamina spoke next
“Yeah, it was a pain convincing them to let us see you first, but she felt showing you the plaque and letting you speak to Captain Jamison was more important. That said, I don't know how much longer we can keep her out.” Her voice's volume was elevating as she said the last part, as if she wanted it to be overheard.
“Does that mean I can come in now?” A voice shouted from outside the screen. I recognized it, though I had never thought I would hear it again.
“Why not?” Commander Fane shouted and Cserr tumbled through the privacy screen and into the increasingly cramped space next to my bed. She had huge smiles on her face and pushed past my officers to stand next to my bed. It struck me as strange that Cserr was out of uniform, replacing her gold tunic with a long sleeve top. The reason why became obvious, once I noticed her left sleeve was empty from almost the shoulder down. Cserr had clearly lost her arm at some point since I had seen her last. Marcus and Yamina slipped out between the screens to give us some privacy.
“Cserr what happened?” I forced myself back up onto my elbows so I could see better.
“Just an accident on the Aurora after those Orion bastards sabotaged us. I had an argument with a turbolift door that refused to open. I will never rescue pirates again if I can help it.” I admired her ability to joke about something this serious. That was her greatest skill, always able to find the humor in whatever horror was happening to us. I took a deep breath before speaking.
“What happened up there? It all happened so fast, and once we lost contact with your ship I assumed the worst.”
“Oh it was bad.” She replied. “It took us hours to even get auxiliary power back online, whatever they managed to do to our systems wiped our entire computer. By that point we were surrounded by Orion ships and unable to defend ourselves.” She paused for a moment, clearly considering what she would say next.
“There came a point after this.” She gestured to her stump. “I almost ordered the crew to abandon ship so I could ram that D7. At least get a bit of payback. Wouldn't you know it, next minute the Alaric hails us on our emergency transceiver and we start putting together a plan. You know the rest.” She shrugged, the gesture losing some of its effectiveness with only one arm. She was leaving a lot out of her explanation, I could tell. This is how we talked to each other when there was a chance others could be listening in. I promised myself I would speak with her later when it was just the two of us without a chance of interruption and find out what really happened.
“Well I'm just glad you didn’t do something stupid.” I replied with our inside joke. She punched me lightly in the arm.
“Ass.” she retorted, sticking her tongue out. It was such a relief to return to this, our casual banter that had been the hallmark of our twenty year friendship. I was still stunned that Cserr and the Aurora had survived. This almost didn't feel real, the two of us sitting together as if we both hadn’t almost died during the last two days. In many ways we mirrored each other at this moment. We were both injured and had been through some of the worst a career in Starfleet could throw at you. Though I truly was happy to see her, I was surprised and a little disappointed that it hadn’t been Sala who had come through the screen. I thought about asking her if she had seen anyone else waiting outside but couldn't bring myself to just come out and say it.
“You went quiet Niah, what are you thinking about?” Cserr took the chair that Dr Truong had occupied when I regained consciousness. I shifted again so I could look at her, my body aching in protest.
“Thinking about what comes after this.” I lied. “What's going to happen to all the people here?” The fact that I was worried about one person in particular didn't feel worth mentioning. “What's going to happen to us?”
“Well, I’m sure Starfleet will have to do something with New Jerusalem and the Suliban. This is too big to not intervene.” She leaned forward as she spoke, eyeing me warily. Had she not believed what I had said? “As for us, well the Aurora is still space worthy enough for a tow to Starbase 10, though it will be months in drydock to refit her. I imagine you’ll get a new ship.”
“Do you think so?” My question was genuine. As I had told Sala, I still expected prison awaited me at the conclusion of this mission.
“What do you mean, do I think so? Do I think you’ll get a new ship? Of course you will.” I slumped at her words, clearly she hadn’t taken into consideration all the consequences of my actions. Evidently she noticed this since she put her hand on her forehead before continuing.
“Niah, I love you, but you are so, so stupid sometimes. You lost your ship, yes, but by trying to save mine! We could hear the orders you were giving as our systems shut down. You ordered the Resolute to take us in tow and run without any thought to your own safety. You saved tens of thousands of lives with nothing but hand phasers and a fancy plant. You fought a Klingon in personal combat. Those are not the actions of a captain who never sits in the big chair again. Starfleet will see it that way, all of us are going to make sure of that.” Hearing her certainty was reassuring and considering it alongside what Captain Jamison had said did make a new ship seem like a possible outcome. Unfortunately, I still suspected that I was a captain out of necessity, and this incident would put any future career ambitions to rest. I took a moment to collect my thoughts before speaking again.
“I was thinking about that while I was down here. I know, stupid of me to be fantasizing about my future in a situation like that, but I was. I want a new ship Cserr, I want that more than basically anything in the galaxy.” There was something I wanted more now, and I missed Sala’s reassuring presence at this moment while I was being honest with my friend. “I think that my crew did something great here. I think we saved a lot of lives and I think despite everything that happened, every mistake I made and everything that went wrong I can still do a lot of good out there! I don't deserve to sit behind a desk for the rest of my career.” I slumped back on my bed as I finished speaking. That confession had taken a lot out of me. Cserr mirrored my previous moment of silence before she responded, taking it as an opportunity to stand up and walk around to the headrest of the bed. She bent down close to me, a quizzical look on her face.
“Cserr what are you doing?” I asked, suddenly too tired to sit up.
“Oh just checking for parasites or micro surgery scars. Clearly you’ve been replaced or mind controlled or something like that because the Niah Zh'kaarrin I know would have never opened up like that '' Unable to keep it together she broke down laughing, her high pitched titter filling the small space.
“Maybe that is why I don't.” I stressed the word ‘that’ in my response. I was annoyed at her unserious response, but I also loved that about her, so I couldn't be too angry.
“No, keep doing it! I must know all of your deep inner secrets! If you have been replaced then the fate of the Federation could hinge on this!” She affected a faux wounded tone as she spoke, continuing the joke. I lost my composure at that and joined her laughing at the absurdity of our conversation despite how much everything hurt. After a moment, Cserr spoke again.
I like this new you.” I cocked my head, missing her meaning.
“What?”
“Yeah,” she continued. “I felt the same way after our argument. keep doing this Niah, I think you’ll be a lot happier if you keep letting people in.” I shrugged almost reflexively and she swatted my arm. “Just think about it ok? We made it, we get to have a future, so stay focused on what you want that future to be.” We stayed silent for a moment, enjoying each other's company, though I could feel my eyelids growing heavier the longer I stayed awake.
“Cserr, I.” I had finally worked up the courage to ask her if she had seen Sala, but she cut me off before I could say more.
“You’re tired I get it. I’ll tell the doctor to make sure no one bothers you for a bit.”
“Thanks.” I replied, closing my eyes and rolling over to face the side of the tent. My disappointment that Sala hadn’t come by was growing but my exhaustion won out in the end and I drifted off to sleep.