I awoke a few hours later. Thankfully, I didn't startle awake and embarrass myself again. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and leaned up on my elbows, still trying to work the weariness out of my body. I was still on the ground next to the small row of trees where I had fallen asleep and at some point, Sala had joined me, laying on her back next to me with her hands folded behind her head.

“I’m awake!” I said to no one in particular, but Sala made a noise, letting me know she had heard me. Looking up at the sky I could see the planet's star was past its zenith. I must have slept all morning! “Shit how long was I out?”

“A couple hours maybe.” Sala responded from next me. “I’ve been dozing too.”

“You haven't heard the communicator, have you?” I asked her. I certainly hadn’t. Despite the uneven ground I had managed to fall into a deep sleep and had been deaf to the world around me.

“Nah, aside from a few people walking by there hasn't been so much as a peep from your people or the Klingons. I think the universe is finally giving us some good luck.” She rolled over to face me and smiled “You were out like a light. Did you know you snore?” She teased.

“I do not!” I replied indignantly. As my body continued to wake up all my aches and pains returned. I inhaled sharply as the pain in my leg returned, the dull ache that followed me back from the Sirius. I tilted my head back so I could look at her again.

“Were you really following my advice about getting something to eat back there?” I asked. I had a feeling she was up to something, though I couldn't put my finger on what through my lingering fatigue.

“Honestly yes, even if it wasn't what I hadn’t intended to do.” her reply carried with it her familiar teasing lilt, my instincts were correct, but she wasn't being forthcoming.

“Better than human food?” She laughed at this.

“It tasted better than whatever that ration smelled like, that's for sure.”

“Must have been nice.” I responded, stretching again. We lay in the quiet midafternoon sun for a few more moments, silently enjoying each other's company. Eventually Sala broke the silence.

“I was actually doing what you suggested, back from before the horrible shuttle flight. Naad and Gebin and a few of their friends were back in that kitchen. They're the closest thing we have to trained fighters. They helped out Vannek a lot.” Her voice trailed off here and it took a beat before she spoke again.

“I filled them in, Niah, let them know what the plan was. I hope that's ok?”

“Of course! I said we needed to include your people and I mean it.” I rolled onto my stomach to give her my full attention, I was curious to hear the Suliban’s reaction to the plan. “So what were their thoughts on it?”

“Right.” Sala replied. “They were still unsure, but they were impressed at what your officers managed to come up with. They want to help. They’re as invested as you and I are.”

“So we need to find a way for them to help. I can do that.” With a hiss I pushed my body up and shook it out. “But first I need to check in with my crew.”

“Do you really?.” Sala said, still laying on the ground but looking up at me. “If they needed you right now, they would have found a way to reach you.” She was probably right but feeling useless never sat well with me.

“Well, what should I be doing then?” I asked her. It was a genuine question, but it came out snarkier than I had wanted. I immediately knew I had made a mistake, but before I could apologize Sala spoke.

“I don’t know.” She replied, a sour note to her voice. “Maybe get your hand checked?” With a groan she stood up as well and faced away from me. “We might as well get going, you’re not going to take my suggestions anyways.”

“It's not like that, I’m sorry, that came out wrong.” She looked over her shoulder at me and I continued. “You’re right about my crew not needing me right now, it's just hard for me to feel useless.”

“Taking care of yourself isn't being useless, running yourself ragged is.” She said after a moment, still looking at me. “We learned that during the run from Bregat last year. It wasn't doing us any good if we survived without any of the things that made us who we are.” She wrapped her arms around herself for comfort as she spoke. “It's important to remember that.”

“I am still so sorry all of that happened to you and your people. I’m sorry that KLICOM and the Federation as a whole weren’t able to stop it. We failed the Suliban, and it will be a stain on the Federation for as long as we exist.” I stated, as much to reassure her as well as to mollify my own feelings of grief and inadequacy.

“At least you’re doing something about it now.” She replied and smiled. “Come on, let's get you back to your crew.”

We walked back to my first officer's command post in silence. The weather had begun to change and clouds were gathering along the colony’s northern edge. The gloomy weather wasn’t helping my mood. I couldn't stop thinking about Commander Fanes' idea and trying to find alternatives to it. I hated that he was right, and a bunch of my crew were about to risk their lives for nothing other than buying us time. I had fought in a similar engagement against the Tholian’s while onboard the Antioch and once the dust had settled eleven officers and crew were dead. The last thing I wanted was a repeat here. While I couldn't think of any alternative, I was at least able to determine a way to at least mitigate the risk.

As we entered the clearing it was obvious the mood had changed. The whole command post was a hive of activity, about sixty Starfleet officers, their blues, reds, and golds obscured by the black of Starfleet body armor were assembled in loose groups back from the line. The Baumgartner had been joined by the Savitskya as well while we had been gone. A team of flight support crew persons were patching up a burn on her port nacelle. I wondered for a moment if that damage had been sustained when Ensign Grant had saved the Baumgartner from that Ki’Tang. We were maintaining quite a pace as we crossed the assembly area and I drew the eyes of the officers who were loitering in various stages of preparation. A few of them called out greetings or cheers but most followed me with their eyes in silence. I was reminded of my intrusion into the armory on the Resolute when this mission had first started. There were things the captain was supposed to separate from and I was interfering again.

“Where's Commander Fane?” I asked a passing Lieutenant and she pointed me to the same building he had come out of when we had landed. Nodding in thanks I set off, Sala trailing behind me. The building itself wasn't well made, likely some kind of storage structure before my teams had gotten to work on it. I shoved the metal door open and it creaked on its unoiled joints. The inside was a hive of activity, like a larger version of what we had set up in the Fort. Commander Fane stood in front of a pair of screens with Lieutenant Risi opposite, a holographic sand table between them. I had caught them mid conversation and Commander Fane was currently speaking.

“...So that's the plan, you’ll take team two up the left onto the hill. Once it is secured Ensign Bakshi will bring up the photon launchers. That will cover my team's push up the middle and buy us time for Chief Phenna and team three to hit them here.” With this he tapped a spot on the holographic table I couldn't see before continuing. “That will tie up the majority of their front and let the captain start moving the bulk of our forces back into the city. If we can find her.” Risi noticed me and a flash of blue rippled across his scales, but Commander Fane didn't notice. I cleared my throat and the command post went quiet, everyone pausing in their duties to note my arrival.

“Will let me do what Commander?” I said as he whirled back to face me.

“Sorry Captain, we were just finalizing the plan, with your approval of course.” I had never seen Commander Fane look sheepish before. Did he wonder where I had been? Without replying I walked up to the sand table and stood between him and Risi.

“Alright Commander, show me your plan.” He and Risi walked me through it, and just as before, it was a solid plan, if a little complex. They were attacking in three waves. Risi and his team would take the left and occupy the high ground before Commander Fane attacked in the middle to pin the Klingon mercenaries in place. Finally Chief Petty Officer Phenna would hit them from the right in an attempt to roll down their flank. Both shuttles would provide air cover if it was safe wherever they were needed. It was a fairly textbook maneuver and we had the motivated troops to pull it off. It was going to come down to a question of numbers and how hard the Klingons and their mercenaries wanted to fight. Once he was finished explaining I spoke again.

“Like I said before, it's a solid plan, but I’m making a change.” His eyes snapped up from the display to look at me. I could imagine what he was thinking, based on our earlier conversation. I held up a hand to mollify him.

“Nothing major Commander. I will be taking overall command of the attack from here. I also want Suliban to hold our positions. That way you don't have to choose between who you want on your teams or on the line. You can just take our best.” I gestured over to her. “Sala knows who to use, so coordinate with her please. Risi, I want you to handle that, so delegate someone from your department to oversee disseminating our withdrawal plans.” Risi nodded so I continued. “Have the rebreathers been brought up?”

“In the Savitskaya.” Risi replied. “We’re distributing them now. The Commanders team will be taking some along as well, if this works, it's possible they could be caught in the gas as well.” I nodded.

“Good thinking, the both of you. Any word from Commander Foro?” I asked.

“She’ll be ready in the next forty or so minutes to deploy the gas. Apparently, they ran into a few problems, but she would have to brief you, they went over my head.” Commander Fane elaborated. This was great progress and exactly the kind of win we needed.

“Alright, I’m going to get this thing off.” I raised my hand “and get a rebreather, meet me out back in a few minutes, I want to speak to your teams. As I exited the command post I heard the door open and close behind me and turned to look back. Commander Fane was thundering towards me, a look of fury replacing the usual kindness in his eyes.

“Captain, I need to speak with you, alone.” He hissed at me. In a mirror of our previous conversation, I led him around to the same side of the building where we had spoken earlier.

“Alright Commander.” I said, guessing what he wanted to speak about.

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“Where were you?” His voice was low, but I could tell that was only through significant effort. “You’ve been gone almost four hours. I would have sent out search teams if we hadn’t been so busy.”

“I went for a walk Commander, I needed to clear my head after we spoke.” I replied. I could hear my old ways coming to surface again. Here was the deflection.

“For four hours, in a hostile combat zone? Without an escort?” The timbre of his voice was rising. “Risi almost went crazy after he couldn't find you. I had to order him to stay and help me plan our attack.” Time to manage.

“I only ever went back towards the colony, away from the combat zone, towards that field hospital.” I motioned in the direction Sala and I had come from. “Fortunately, nothing happened, but you’re right, I’ll be more careful in the future.” And there was reassure, to finish off the trinity.

“Cut the crap Captain.” That tone was the last thing I’d expected out of him “I don't care why you snuck away; I care that you didn't tell anyone!”

“I needed a nap!” I hissed out through my teeth and it took all my willpower to not cover my mouth with my hands in surprise. His expression changed immediately to something softer. “I haven't slept in almost thirty-six hours. The doc gave me some stims, but they didn't help. I was spiraling, if it hadn't been for Sala, I don't know what would have happened or where I would be right now” This was an uncomfortable level of vulnerability with my first officer, a man who I was sure hated me now.

“Did you at least get your nap captain?” he asked. That had not been at all what I had expected him to say.

“Yes.” I replied automatically, cursing my brain for acting before thinking. He smiled; the earlier anger gone from his eyes.

“You really should have said something Captain, one of the first things we did here was set up bunks, I could have cleared a space for you to have some privacy. No one would have minded.” I felt stupid. I knew why I never mentioned my fatigue, no doubt some aphorism about professionalism from command classes. One of the canned lines around projecting authority or maintaining a professional distance. But still, it was nice to think that I could have had a comfortable nap on a field cot.

“I think I didn't want to look weak in front of the crew. I’m still the captain, and for better or worse that makes me larger than life.” I sighed before continuing, my shoulders slumping. “All of this is my fault, but they still need to be able to look to me for strength. All that falls apart if I look mortal.”

“I can promise you the crew wouldn't think less of you if you took a nap.” Commander Fane replied. “They always talk about that professional distance crap in classes and I think it works for the FGF, but in Starfleet we work better when we care about each other and see each other as, if you’ll forgive me, human. Especially in dangerous situations like this. It lets you know the person next to you is going through it with you and that you’re not alone.” He smiled before continuing. “I’ve seen you do that with the crew, letting them know you care about them, trust the crew to care about you back ok? A little closeness and familiarity can do wonders in a crisis.” He put a hand on my shoulder. I had no idea why Marcus Fane wasn't a captain already and at this moment I longed for our roles to be reversed.

“Thanks Marcus.” I said softly.

“Anytime Captain.” The Marcus Fane I knew was back. “You just gave us all a scare, that's all I was angry about. I’m still mad about you not telling me, but I’ll manage. Come on, let's get your hand out of that contraption.” He squeezed my shoulder while speaking, and gestured at my right hand when he pulled it away.

“You can use my name Marcus., if you want.” I replied. “I think this constitutes enough of a crisis for some familiarity.”

“Whatever you say Niah, now let's go find a medic.” We set off for the next building over, which I learned was their emergency aid station. Fortunately, my hand had healed well, and I was glad to have a full range of motion back. A few scars would have to be manually repaired with a dermal regenerator, but I didn't mind. My body was already a jagged map of scars, what more would a couple more matter? Sala and Risi joined us shortly as the device was removed from my hand. Marcus had drawn a rebreather for himself, Risi and me in the meantime and I slipped the straps over my head to let it hang from my neck in case I needed it at a moment's notice.

“Marcus, assemble your teams, I need a moment.” He nodded and I turned to Sala. “I’m sorry Sala, but I must insist you go with whoever Risi assigns to lead the redeployment. We can't spare any of these masks and there's a chance all of this could go very wrong with the gasses deployment.” As if to punctuate my concern the wind picked up for a moment. Don't worry, I’ll come find you after, alright?”

“This isn't enough, you know.” Her reply caught me off guard. I had believed this was what she had wanted and I asked her as such.

“You’re still not getting it Niah. I didn't want to say anything back there, but leaving us on guard duty is not what my people asked for. You said it yourself, you feel guilty for the way the colony and the Federation treated us. You’re trying to make it up to us.” She elaborated.

“That's not true, I chose my crew because they are a known element. I know they have the training, the equipment and my trust. I don't trust the Brotherhood to guard a bathroom, let alone attack a Klingon position and your people are unfortunately an unknown.” I could feel my antennae quivering nervously as I spoke. I don't know if I believed my excuse either. It was technically correct from a tactical perspective, but that changed nothing. She was right, I did feel this was my responsibility to fix and I never intended to force her people into any additional danger.

“I am starting to learn your tells.” Her tone was icy. “You don't believe that anymore than I do. You said it when we first met, you didn't want us to feel like we were responsible for protecting ourselves now that you’d shown up. There's a word for that. Patronizing.” This was the second time Sala had been angry about my handling of the Suliban. I was torn between my desire to keep the Suliban safe from harm and the fact that I couldn't help but agree with her. For the first time since our affair had started I cursed my attraction to Sala. Was she compromising my judgment? I decided to put that to the test.

“It's still the right decision from a tactical perspective.” I argued. “And those aren't at all the words I used.” I couldn't remember in the moment exactly what I had said, but I knew I wouldn't have been that tactless.

“It's not the words you used, it's the intent and you intend for yourself and your crew to struggle for us.” Exactly what Cserr had said to me almost a day ago at this point. Before my previous bad decisions had killed her and her crew. I needed to not make a similar mistake now. Sala crossed her arms over her chest and continued.

“You don't have the numbers. I could see their positions from the shuttle. There's hundreds of them out there. I’m no soldier but that’s too many for your people to handle. Let us help even those numbers. We’re sick of being sidelined, of being treated like we don’t matter in this galaxy. You told me to be a leader to my people, well I am, and my people want to help you. Let us help you!” That crossed a line, how dare she insinuate my crew couldn’t handle a pack of Naussicans? I wanted more than anything to argue this with her. I wanted to point out how Starfleet tactics made us more than able to handle this. How Marcus Fanes' experience would make their numbers meaningless. Those and a hundred other justifications died in my throat as I was confronted with the reality of the situation. If I didn't include the Suliban, I would lose them. Even if my actions saved them, I would have done nothing but confirm that the Federation doesn't value them as a people. I found myself faced with an impossible choice. Endanger our success here by introducing an unknown element at the eleventh hour or prove without a doubt the hypocrisy of the Federation.

“Sala, I don’t know.” I trailed off.

“Yes you do, she said quietly. You told me less than an hour ago that you were serious about including us. So do it. Or is everything I think I know about you actually wrong?” I slumped. I could threaten the entire government of a Federation colony with a phaser, stand up to a Klingon captain and fight a targ in hand to hand combat. But Sala had still managed to find my weakness. Despite everything that was wrong with me as a leader and a captain, I was proud of my integrity.

“Fine.” Her expression brightened immediately.

“You mean it Niah?” She asked, almost returning to her normal bubbly self.

“I do, what would anything we’ve done here be for if I didn’t? We would survive, sure, but our peoples would have simply returned to the status quo. You are federation citizens now, and I need to treat you like that. What do you need, Sala?” I was resigned to this, but my mind was already working. Where would I integrate them? Marcus’s mission was the most dangerous and the last thing I needed was our Suliban volunteers to be massacred. It was unlikely they would know how to operate the photon launchers that Ensign Bakshi’s team were responsible for, so that left Risi’s or Phenna’s teams. Well I would have to decide soon. Sala mirrored me in this moment, clearly considering what she would need. We stood there, less than a meter apart, surrounded by the activity of the command post, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally Sala broke the silence.

“Lets go back to the command post, I can make some calls and see how many volunteers I can get.” It was a solid enough place to start, so I followed her back inside after sending a runner to inform Commander Fane of the delay. It didn't take too long for Sala to find her volunteers. I was surprised and impressed by how deftly she organized this, coordinating with people we knew nothing about save from names to find the most qualified Suliban volunteers. It also showed without a shadow of a doubt why she was chosen to represent her people. She appeared to know every Suliban on the planet and would know immediately who she was speaking with and just what to say to convince them to join our offensive. Just shy of fifty Suliban volunteered to join us, nearly doubling our numbers. This would allow me to leave key officers behind to guard the most exposed transport inhibitors as well as directly coordinate the withdrawal on the ground.

Privately it confirmed my feelings for her as well. I had already believed that Sala possessed a unique style of leadership, one much more personal and interconnected than any taught in Starfleet. Her confidence had simply been shattered before. Now she moved with a purpose, directly her people to reach out to their families, friends and neighbors to find the right individuals we needed. I was proud of her, and happy to have contributed in some small way to helping her confidence return. I found myself dwelling on the question she had asked earlier. What did I want us to be?

“Alright Niah, we’re ready, everyone should be here soon, I hope this isn't too much of a delay?” I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear her finish talking. I looked up from the PADD I had been intending to review. Sala had turned away from the communications terminal and was facing me, hand on her hips. She smiled at me as I looked up. “Where were you just now?” she asked, and my antennae immediately flattened in embarrassment. I glanced down before responding.

“Reading the quartermasters report, making sure we have enough stores for all your new volunteers.” She chuckled.

“You’re lying, but that's ok, those tell me all I need to know.” She closed the distance with me and tapped one of my slowly rising antennae, which caused them both to immediately flatten again. I inhaled sharply.

“Please, please be careful touching those.” I managed to get out. “They are very sensitive.”

“Cute, well I imagine you have an attack to plan and a bunch of new volunteers to assign jobs to, I’ll head for the shelters now.”

“We don't have to split up just yet. Come on.” I added. We exited the command post and walked towards the assembly area that we had crossed this morning. It looked like my crew had been busy, where once clusters of handfuls of people dotted the square, now stood three cohesive groups, one for each of the three team leaders. The groups quieted as we approached, drawing up to attention like this was an academy parade. It was inspiring to see so many of my officers all in one place. The red of my entire security department intermixed with medics in blue and squad leaders and specialists in gold. Engineers formed teams with sensor specialists to operate the photon launchers while shuttle pilots shared good natured jabs with their ground crews. Security officers helped fit the first of the Suliban volunteers into Federation body armor and demonstrated how to test our rebreathers. This was a cross section of all of Starfleet on display, all the best we could offer, coming together to accomplish a near impossible task.

“Team leaders on me.” I called out and stopped a few paces from the assemblage. Commander Fane, Chief Phenna and to my surprise Commander Glov Gronnahk stepped forward. Risi was nowhere to be seen.

“Surprised to see me?” Bray said once the three of them halted. “Risi said he had something to take care of, so I volunteered to take his place.” That means Risi was staying behind to organize the withdrawal, good, I trusted him to take care of Sala.

“Alright you three, we all know the plan is solid, but I have another change to make and I wanted to talk it all over with you as you’re the ones actually putting your lives on the line here.” I gestured at Sala before continuing. “Our Suliban representative here has brought something to my attention that we need to address.” As I drew my officers attention to her she waved in response. I pointed at each one of my team leaders in turn before speaking again.

“I’ll still be taking operational command from here, Commander Fane will be in charge on the ground. I don't plan on intervening unless there's something I can see that he can't, so follow Marcus’s lead out there.” He nodded acknowledgement so I continued.

“We have been remiss in including the Suliban in our defense plans. They are in even more danger than we are, but we are not allowing them to impact their fates. Sala has personally assured us that there are those amongst the Suliban qualified to join your teams on this attack and I want to give them that chance. Bray or Phenna, I want to assign them to one of your teams.” Marcus met my eyes, he clearly understood why I was avoiding the option of assigning these volunteers to his team.

“I’ll take them.” Chief Petty Officer Phenna replied. A hard nosed Coridanite, she was the senior non commissioned officer in the Resolute’s security department. “I have experience working with local militia units from my time on the Tholian border.” I looked to Bray and he nodded.

“Thank you chief, that is exactly what we need. Remember everyone, this is important, but it's just to buy us time, so no heroics. I need all of you back here alive more than anything else right now. You meet overwhelming opposition, you fall back, unexpected obstacles, you fall back, anything seems off, you fall back understood?” The trio nodded. “Good, make sure that you’re talking to each other out there too. You see something, share it with everyone. I trust you to handle this.” I finished and stuck my hand out. They each shook it in turn and we exchanged a few more words of encouragement. Finishing my impromptu briefing I turned to address the larger group. A bosun whistle trilled to call the assembled officers to attention. I took a moment to look at the faces of the assembled crew before speaking as well as those of the crowd assembling to watch.

“Crew of the U.S.S. Resolute, before we go any farther, I just wanted to say thank you. The last day has asked more of us than most starship crews are asked for in a lifetime. We’ve gone from setback to setback with our heads held high and have shown the people of this colony as well as the Klingons what the best of Starfleet are capable of. You have all already done more than enough to be proud of.” Cheers rose to meet my last words and I let those words hang for a moment before speaking again.

“I have one more duty to ask of you though, before the day is over. We have our trump card, but we can't currently deploy it safely. I need you to buy us the time to do so. Can you do that for me?” A wordless roar from the crowd gave me my answer. I continued. “All I ask is for maybe a half an hour of hard fighting. Can you give me that?” The same roar met my question.

“Outstanding! Well, you all know your assignments, what are you waiting for?” Team leaders immediately began calling orders walking past me into the crowd, which was beginning to split into its three distinct components. The Suliban, civilians and brotherhood troops who had paused to watch the proceedings started moving again, returning to their duties. I stood in the middle of the chaos, allowing it to flow around me like a rock in a stream. I wanted to be present right now, the captain could be a powerful motivating factor in moments like this. It was a simple matter of offering a simple encouraging word or handshake to an unsure officer in moments like this and I enjoyed doing it. It wasn't long before Sala found me.

“Good speech,” she said, sliding up next to me. “Do they teach you that in Starfleet or do you just make them all up on your own?”

“Sort of,” I replied quietly. “There's a class on motivational rhetoric, but no one ever takes it seriously.” She laughed. I continued speaking with any officers who approached me, but we soon found ourselves standing in a now empty assembly area. Wordlessly, Sala intertwined her fingers with mine, and we stood there silently for a moment.

“Well Sala, this is it.” I said, trying not to spoil the moment. “Let's go find Lieutenant Risi.”