My lord, our rangers have discovered a magical anomaly originating from the border regions beyond the mountains. Reports from the embassy also indicate a string of unnatural events occurring within the vicinity of the human city of Arteria. We suspect that there exists a humanoid abnormality within the region capable of causing the disasters in the incident reports following this one. While it is my personal opinion that the presence of saints and the human church’s Inquisition will be enough to handle this issue, it would be prudent to post additional watchers in case the situation gets out of hand or intervention is necessary.”
- Letter Recieved by Armus Lord Rhyden
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
Sophie ran her hands over her chest as she rinsed herself with water, catching a glimpse of her figure within the reflection from the tiles. She looked almost pristine, unblemished and polished. The only real signs of change on her body have been her muscles getting leaner from all her journey so far. Beyond that, there was an eerie sense of nothing leaving a mark behind except for her most recent scars, though she knew it was not long before those would also fade. She shuffled uncomfortably at the thought. Simply knowing that within a year or two, aside from her physique, there would be absolutely no signs of the sacrifices and struggles that she had fought so hard to persevere from seemed utterly alien. That aside from her own memory, there would be no scars, a nicks upon her skin to remind her. What happens then, when my own memory starts to fade?
She took one last look at herself, spending the moment to examine herself with her hands. There was an almost ethereal feeling to the smoothness beneath her touch, how terrifying. Resigned, she scrubbed herself down some more, in the vain hopes that by washing herself she could somehow feel cleaner and less burdened. Sophie closed her eyes and let the water run down her face, enjoying the relaxing feeling that it brought. Magitech and clockwork can sure make some amazing stuff huh? Probably wouldn’t hold a candle to Eva’s world though. Sophie turned around and yawned, letting her hair and back get a good soaking as well. Haven’t talked to Eva yet… I wonder… I wonder what she’d say? Does she even suspect anything? She probably thinks I’m just losing my mind since the last thing she saw was me training… fuck.
Her thoughts then danced to the idealistic vision that popped up in her mind. Of her trailing along Eva as her mistress carried out her activities in the capital. They would chat, eat, and occasionally crack inside jokes to one another. It was a pleasant diversion. Though I guess she’s got Freddie and the other saints now. I’ve played my part… I think.
Her shoulders sagged as her control faltered, the emotion of wrathful sorrow taking hold within her heart. So what was the point of all of this? I get here… for nothing. I get that she has her own responsibilities, but we’re supposed to be the closest we can be and yet… Everything feels so different now. I barely even see her anymore. She gently planted a fist against the wall, futilely twisting her knuckles in an effort to bury her doubts. Standing unmoving under the water, she felt the sensation of the water droplets reverberate throughout her body. With a grunt, she went back to cleaning herself and scrubbed off what little blood and grime remained. A problem… a problem for another time.
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
Sophie returned to her room refreshed if still uneasy. Hanging up her towel and old underwear, she quietly shuffled over to her desk and sat down, her hair still more wet than she was comfortable sleeping with. With some missed assignments piled up on the side of the desk, Sophie murmured a small blessing of gratitude for Aryana to have collected them for her. With nothing better to do until her hair dried off, she yawned and began working through what she could, hoping that she wouldn’t be too far behind.
She burrowed herself into her work, her mind welcoming the change of pace as something else finally wrested focus away from her brooding. Math and civics dominated her first hour of the night as the moon finally reached its zenith, the pale light tangling against the soft blue magelight in her room. To her despair and delight, either Ary or someone from class had also brought along extra work from her strategy and history classes. It meant more work to do, but also more time to kill.
Her mind wandered to the events back at the ruins, her face contorting into a scowl at the memory. She had made yet another deal with the inquisitor, one in which she would actively participate in a new set of his experiments. Though Inquisitor Korvin had remained mostly cordial, she had seen the calculating smile on his face when she accepted. Truthfully, without him, explaining the whole incident to the Academy would be a hassle at minimum, if not outright expulsion for Sophie so flagrantly violating all norms and pre established protocol. With his help came that of Professor Segosa’s too, though the latter only begrudgingly agreed to help. Just like that, one of her transgressions and deeds were simply covered up. Though she would need to aid the professor in his research too, should the occasion arise.
She scribbled away at her work until she was done. Only then, did she allow herself to let out a relieved sigh, the exhaustion she had buried away for work now resurfacing once more. Letting her body relax, she leaned backwards, stretching a little just to freeze at the sight of a tired but chipper face staring back at her. Her weary mind lagged for a moment before she finally registered the humanoid shape in its entirety.
“Wah?!” Sophie yelped, “Gah!” She grunted as she slammed back into the desk in surprise.
The pleasant face turned into one of horror as Aryana scrambled off her bed and towards Sophie.
“Sophie!” Aryana let out a concerned squeak.
“Guh.” Sophie let out a noise as she extricated herself from the chair, “I’m alright.”
“Sophie.” Aryana let out a sad noise, “You’re back.” She said with a quiet whisper.
Sophie had to reorient herself for a moment before she managed to flash Ary a small grin, “I’m back.”
“You are…” Aryana pouted and approached, “Took you long enough.”
Sophie nodded.
The redhead shuffled forward in her nightgown and wrapped Sophie up with a hug. Her arms clung on tightly and Sophie could feel that they carried a small sense of tension within them. She could also feel as Aryana’s body pressed against hers, the slow and relaxed breathing that came with it as the girl pressed herself against Sophie. Sophie felt her own mind about to crack as all her doubts and vulnerabilities surfaced at once, braying against her self control in an effort to escape. She felt at ease and tense at the same time, her own hands starting to tremble once more as she slowly raised them around Aryana.
Perhaps sensing her uncertainty, Aryana clenched tighter and dragged Sophie along to the bed, plopping the both of them down before enveloping Sophie with a full body hug. Sophie exhaled and felt all her emotions rushing to the surface at once. Overwhelmed, she simply returned the hug and clutched onto what she could, finding herself being the one to burrow herself in Aryana’s embrace instead of the other way around. The scent of floral vanilla filled her nose and Sophie took a few rapid breaths as she held Ary, the comfort it brought unscrewing the last of her defences as her doubts, fears, and pain finally broke through. Oh Ary… if only you knew what I’ve done.
Sophie grimaced as she stifled a whimper, opting for a soft grunt that Aryana seemed to respond with in kind. The two broke into a fit of strangely calming grunting before breaking out into a small giggle.
“Sophie…” Aryana whispered.
“Mm?” Sophie mumbled into Aryana’s chest.
“What… what happened? You…” Aryana stroked Sophie’s head, “you don’t seem… well.”
“Mmm.” Sophie nuzzled Aryana, taking in the soft and gentle nature in which the girl held her.
“Mmm, yourself, you… you… ugh. Not a word after three days and you just sneak in.”
“Mmm.”
“Sophie.” Aryana peeled away slightly, holding Sophie’s face and lifting her head so that their gazes met.
Sophie winced at the sight of her own miserable reflection, even whilst her eyes were drawn to Aryana’s curious gaze.
“Sophie… hmm.” Aryana let out a disappointed huff, “You can tell me your problems, you know?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Do you mind if I ask?”
“Hmm? No. I…” Sophie choked, unsure if she could. But when she finally brought herself to meet Aryana’s eyes, she faltered. “Go ahead.” She murmured.
“What happened?” Aryana spoke as she started to cradle Sophie’s head, “I’ll be here to listen to your troubles.”
Sophie whimpered under Ary’s care and finally relaxed her grip, taking a few deep breaths as she steadied herself. “Don’t…” She began, “ahh… do you… would you mind talking about yourself first?”
“Me?”
“Yeah… just… how were the past few days…”
Aryana glanced at her peculiarly before pressing her nose against Sophie’s. At once, Sophie felt her cheeks grow flushed, the heat slowly reaching a boiling point. Her thoughts were now properly scrambled as Aryana recounted the experiences that she’d had for the past few days. Sophie could barely process the majority of words spoken, only parsing the largest components that seemed to bother the redhead. She understood that Ary was both lonely but having fun; that she had in fact enjoyed her time outside of Sophie’s shadow to an extent. It had however, meant that Ary had to deal with the realisation that she needed her own path in life too, a fact that had brought a mote of sorrow within Sophie’s heart. The next bad news was that the person Ary had tried to avoid, Tristan, was in fact in her department. It had been a disheartening revelation for Aryana, but judging by how quickly she had brushed past the topic, Sophie suspected that it was not an issue to be dredged up for tonight.
At some point, the two had curled up beside each other on the bed. Aryana growing ever more melancholic as she recounted her experiences, and Sophie simply cuddled up to regain what comfort she could. As the moment drew closer to the end of Aryana’s tale, Sophie could feel her own heart race as the expectation to confess her own misdeeds drew close. Aryana had sensed this shift in demeanour and had begun gently caressing Sophie’s cheek. The act reminded Sophie of her childhood with Eva and for a brief moment she did seize a modicum of calm from the sensation.
“You don’t have to. You know?” Aryana spoke after a quick pause.
“Mmm?”
“To talk about the ruins if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m happy enough that you listened.” Aryana continued, “ So... sorry for prying, I-I don’t want to make you feel worse than you are.”
Sophie looked up and found Aryana looking almost remorseful at Sophie’s sad state. Sophie forced out a slight grin and Aryana smiled warmly with a hint of sorrow. Ary then ran her hands over Sophie’s ear and Sophie shivered. She felt a mixture of courage, regret and something else at the touch. Greedy, she grabbed ahold of Ary’s free arm and moved it around her cheek, the girl looking surprised at her boldness more than anything. Revelling in the feeling, Sophie finally let out a deep sigh and just deflated completely.
“Sophie?”
“Y-yeah?”
“Are you… alright?”
Sophie felt the weight of the world suddenly pushing her down and could barely nod.
“I don’t mind if we sleep now, you know. I’m plenty happy you’re back…” Aryana began but Sophie shook her head, interrupting the girl.
“No. I… no I… a lot happened, Ary. I need… if you don’t mind. Whatever you think of me afterwards, can… can we… just spend tonight like this?” Sophie grimaced.
“Ah?! Of course! I’ll be here for you. You know that.” Aryana beamed, but Sophie could see the worried frown forming on the redhead’s brows. “Sophie?”
“It’s… nothing. I… I have a lot to get off my chest.” Sophie sighed.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
“That’s fine. You listened to me, so I’ll listen to you. Besides, I’d listen to you regardless.”
Sophie smiled. Such support and optimism, I wish I could be the same sometimes. I just hope… she doesn’t see me too differently. Sophie gulped. “Ary, I…” She faltered.
“Hmm? Take your time. I-” Aryana began.
Sophie suddenly clutched at Aryana desperately. Aryana was caught off guard and froze, wondering what was going until she heard the softest of sobs.
“Sophie?!” Aryana unwittingly let out her surprised gasp.
“I… I did bad, Ary. I did really bad.” Sophie said.
“O-oh? I’m sure-”
“I’m horrible, Ary. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“S-Sophie?”
“Do you… do you remember Melisgrad? What I… what I did?” Sophie started to shake.
Aryana was thankful that Sophie wasn’t looking up right now, for her expression darkened instantly at the mention of the city. She had been worried about Sophie, but when her friend mentioned it, she had a sinking feeling that she knew where Sophie was about to go with this. “Yeah…” Ary let out a sad whisper.
“My hands… they… I felt…” Sophie let out an emotionless gasp, “I…”
Aryana finally seized the initiative and hushed Sophie up, pulling her deeper into her bosom as Sophie started crying silently. Aryana felt a strange sense of guilt at not having been there when Sophie had been struggling, even though she knew that it was a silly thought as she’d likely be more of a burden than anything. Aryana planted a few small kisses on the top of Sophie’s head, all while gently holding the trembling half elf in her arms.
“I’m scared, Ary. I’m a monster… a monster…” Sophie managed to murmur between the tears.
“L-let it out, just let it out. I’m here, Sophie, I’m here.” Aryana whispered.
“I… I… I just… it all happened so fast. One moment it was quiet… the next… just…”
“Sophie…”
“It… it… there were… so… many…” Sophie said breathily, “I just… had to fight… I had to stop them.”
“But you had to fight them, right? So it wasn't like your choice. You just did what you had to. ”
“No! I mean, maybe.” Sophie whined, “They… they were cultists, doing a ritual. There was nothing much we could do but still…”
“But?”
“I’m a monster, Ary.” Sophie let out an almost fearful whisper, “When I was fighting, I just cut through them. Like their lives barely mattered beyond the moment.” Sophie shivered, “I just… cut through them all.”
“But there wasn’t any other choice, was there?”
“There…” Sophie sighed, “No.”
“Aww… Sophie.” Aryana hugged a little tighter.
Thankfully, Sophie returned the gesture and now the half elf was openly sobbing, albeit keeping her voice as quiet as possible.
“It’s not that.” Sophie suddenly shook her head.
“Hmm?”
“I’m afraid, Ary. Really, really, afraid.”
“Why?” Aryana asked.
Aryana shifted uneasily, her own body absorbing some of Sophie’s discomfort.
“Because I’m a monster, Ary!”
“What do-”
“I. Felt. Nothing.” Sophie’s voice faltered, warbling as she spoke, “I felt nothing.”
“N-nothing?” Aryana gulped.
“In the moment, I just… there was… there was a sense of nothingness, as if nothing mattered beyond the fight so I… I just fought. I just kept fighting and fighting until I cleared the place… I-I had to stop them.” Sophie managed to say, “I… I just cut them all down…” Her voice broke.
Aryana just listened wordlessly, a multitude of thoughts running through her own mind. Though the most prominent one was now well and truly the guilt of not having been there to help. Her own sense of guilt had blossomed into her own sorrow; her own despair at the sight of Sophie just quivering within her arms.
“It was all… empty. I just felt empty. When I was fighting, I just…”
“Take your time.”
“I just jumped in and did what I thought was right.”
“And it saved us all from whatever they were doing…”
“No! I mean yes. But it’s not that, Ary. Back in Melisgrad, I was… angry… enraged… not myself. It’s… it’s a flimsy excuse but what happened, happened.”
“I know.”
“But this is different. I could blame… many… many things for what happened back then. This time… this time it was me, Ary. I was the one who went in like a fool. I was the one who cut them down. Who… who…”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Take your time.”
“I felt it, Ary. I felt the moments when I would hit my mark, how the metal just… carved into them. I… I felt nothing, then. Nothing when I did it with my own two hands. What am I? Look at me!” Sophie whined, “I’ve killed people, gotten hurt, and just… ruined so many lives. Yet here I am, untouched, unmarked. I’m a monster, Ary. An abomination. I might be a half elf, but what other elf, human or whatever, can survive dying multiple times?! I’m… I’m more like a demon, just killing for the sake of killing and I…” Sophie faltered, looking up at Aryana with a pleading expression in her eye, “So… I… don’t want to be on my own right now.”
“Oh Sophie” Aryana fought back her own emotions as she whispered, “You were going through a lot these few days, huh?”
A small nod.
“Are you… afraid that I’d judge you? That I’d leave after I found out?”
Another nod.
“Sophie, you silly hatire. You know I wouldn’t do that. I’m here for you. Even when it gets tough.”
Sophie snuggled a little closer, their bodies now fully intertwining.
“Listen, I know it sounds a bit silly and I don't know if it'll help. But I… I’ve been worried about what to wear, how to deal with Tristan, how everyone thinks of me. And yet… you... you were fighting, suffering so much and I… I couldn’t, can’t, do anything to help. I can’t offer to fight for you, to help solve your problems out there. I can barely do much of any fighting without a bow or crossbow. In fact, I’d probably just end up slowing you down.” Aryana sighed, running a hand through Sophie’s hair.
Sophie seemed to be trying to bury herself within Aryana’s embrace, but her muscles did seem to relax a little.
“And you’re going through so much, have been through so much. Yet you came out of this all still intending on doing what’s right. Well, as right as having some strange sinister void god can be.” Aryana let out a dry chuckle.
Sophie’s breathing seemed to calm down and Aryana pulled Sophie’s head upwards. The half elf seemed startled by the sudden motion but when Aryana rubbed their noses together, Sophie’s tears paused to let out a small giggle. The sorrow however, returned to her eyes moments later.
“You might be a killer, a monster, a void creature or whatever. But you’re Sophie. And the Sophie I know fights for what’s right even when it’s tough. Sure, maybe you need a crystal or two to… I don’t actually know how you use it.” Aryana nervously chuckled, “But besides that, you didn’t kill out of malice, at least, besides that one time.” Her voice trailed off as both their expressions darkened.
Aryana ran her hand across Sophie’s cheek, wiping away a tear as the half elf reaching up her own hand to hold it in place, pressing Aryana’s palm down upon her. The two shared a soft smile and Aryana’s heart ached at how despondent her friend looked.
“You tried your best and… maybe it was right or wrong, I can’t judge you for that. But heck, you’ve actually stopped the cult a few times now, saved the… world too I would think. Or at least delayed whatever their plans are and the other God thing's as well? So… I don’t actually know what my point is but… what I want to get across is that whatever the case might be, I’m here for you, okay? As long as you don’t leave me behind, I’ll always be here because I believe in you. Even if it’s just to listen, or to… to give you a nice cuddle.” Aryana hurriedly mumbled the last bit.
Sophie's gaze softened and she also allowed herself a small smile. Sophie then moved Ary’s hand slightly so that she could plant a small kiss onto her palm, the act making both of them blush a little. Sophie then squeezed the hand tightly and exhaled.
“Thank you.” She managed to say after a second, “Phaw… that was… that’s one burden somewhat lightened.” She smiled, her tears finally stopping, “Now… now I have another, if that’s alright?”
“Of course.”
“It’s about Eva and… whatever it is that you saw the other day, before I left.”
Aryana nodded, poking Sophie’s cheek in affirmation.
“After hearing what you said… heh, I suppose it does feel a little silly when put into perspective. Like you, I had some… personal issues. See, I’ve… I’ve given everything, in service to Eva and her house. I expected nothing in return, or so I thought. I… Goddess above, it feels so stupid to say now, but I was jealous. All because I had helped her get together with Prince Frederick, that acquaintance of ours. It’s funny because I always teased her about it, and yet… now that she confirmed they’re together, I’m both happy and sad. Heh.” Sophie grunted.
“Aww.”
“Pfft, don’t make fun of me, Ary.” Sophie said, her tears now a mixture of joy and sorrow, “It’s just, hearing what you said, and thinking about it properly. That now seems… such a… tiny thing… compared to the sins I’ve committed. And yet, it too, weighs heavily on my mind. But… gah, wasn’t I supposed to be the worldly one out of the two of us. Somehow you’re the one comforting me! ”
“Heheh.” Aryana winked before grinning, “And you usually are! My strong and wonderful knight! But you can’t always be the strongest. At least, not in everything.” She teased before growing more serious, “But I think… you should talk to Eva. One on one, sort everything out. After all, the two of you are childhood friends and… well… if she does truly still care about you regardless, you should treasure it.” Aryana put on a wistful smile.
“I suppose I can’t argue with that.” Sophie squeezed her hand, “I will. Promise to try, at least.”
“Good. Cause you have enough on your mind when you're not too busy dying.” Aryana stuck out her tongue.
Sophie rolled her eyes but nodded anyway. As she wiped the last of her tears away, Aryana just flashed her an amused expression. Sophie retorted by clicking her tongue but hid the smile that fluttered to life inside of her. There was something different about the way Aryana was acting and for Sophie, it was refreshing to see how much the girl was changing before her eyes, how Aryana had grown comfortable enough to take charge of a situation like this. Sophie felt more than proud of this change. Yet, a tiny bit of her grew anxious, worried that soon, even Aryana would end up moving on as Eva had. Stupid brain, Eva’s just busy. At least… at least until we talk to her. Goddess help me, that’d be a conversation and a half.
“Sophie?” Aryana queried, her little green eyes staring inquisitively at Sophie.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been quiet for a bit.”
“I… have?”
“Mmhmm. So whatcha thinking about?”
“What am I thinking about?” Sophie mused. But when her gaze landed ahead of her in search of an answer, she found none besides the girl ahead of her as her thoughts slowly vanished in a blur of emotions. Stars above, my cheeks are getting warm again. “I guess… I guess I’m thinking of you.”
“Hweh?!” Aryana’s eyes widened and she let out a flustered noise.
“I’m happy that you’re here. Happy that you listened and happy that you’re staying.” Sophie shot her a toothy grin, “You make me happy. So… thank you, I mean it. Please don’t worry about me leaving you behind. If I go on an adventure, it’ll be together. Okay? I'm your Lily Knight after all.” Sophie puffed out her chest.
“Ahh…uhh… y-yeah.” Aryana squeaked, her face becoming beet red as she squirmed in front of Sophie.
There was a strange silence that settled and they scrambled to do everything besides meet each other's gazes but eventually Sophie was caught looking at Ary just as the redhead looked at her. A strange emotion joined the cacophony within her chest and she felt her lips dry as the moment wore on. Her heart pounded like the din of a battlefield, the noise drowning out every other sound around her. Her body was now painfully aware of each and every point of contact they made, how their arms were wrapped tightly around each other, how their legs had interlocked. Before she could process any further, a shadow loomed over her and her eyes instinctively closed as something approached her face.
She wiggled and twisted in shock, fear and joy. The wave of new sensations completely enveloping the heap that had dwelled in her mind during their discussion. Her lips tasted the faintest trace of sweetened chocolate and caramel, the burst of flavour joining the already comforting chorus of flowers and vanilla to soothe her weary soul. The battlefield grew silent as the final blow was delivered and she could feel her entire being tense up and relax at the same moment. Joy filled warmth bloomed from within her chest as they kissed. It was a moment seemed to last for eternity. Sophie returned the gesture with a nervous one of her own, the exhilarating feeling awakening something within her. Though she was as terrified as she was excited, she could feel Aryana was the same, with neither of them willing to let it end.
It was only when one of them finally needed to breathe that they separated, both their eyes staring in amazed disbelief at each other. There were no words shared as they took in each other’s presence, no movements or gestures as they existed within the moment.
Aryana was the first one to break just as she had been the first to act. Sophie noticed the redhead looking somewhat apologetic and could already anticipate what Aryana wanted to say. But before Ary could speak, Sophie had held up a finger to her lip, the gentle touch earning her a surprise glance.
“You don’t need to be Eva or her replacement.” Sophie whispered, “You’re Aryana. That’s what makes me happy. Of that, I'm certain.” She smiled.
Aryana’s eyes widened before they softened into a smile of her own, wordlessly responding by simply interlocking her fingers with Sophie’s. Their heartbeats synced up as their hands squeezed each others. It was a tender moment that had begun to etch itself into her mind only for her to falter as a yawn escaped lips. Horrified at ruining the moment, she tried to apologize before Aryana giggled and rewarded Sophie's yawn with another kiss, the sensation instantly flooding her with a sense of confused joy. As she pulled away, Sophie swore she Ary's eyes twinkled as a ray of pale moonlight illuminated her. She's... wonderful.
“Good night, Sophie.” Aryana pecked her nose.
Sophie beamed back at her and leaned in for her own kiss. The gentle touch was already enough in sending shivers down her spine. When she pulled back, Aryana’s bravado had vanished as the girl now had a flustered look on her face, clearly not expecting to be on the defensive. Sophie giggled at the sight and earned herself a playful pout in return. But as she separated her hand to ruffle Ary’s hair, she felt something akin to genuine happiness bubble up within her. Hah… who would’ve… by the stars, I’m… wow. Didn't expect this, that's for sure.
“Good night, Ary.” Sophie grinned.
She didn’t know when their gaze finally broke away as their eyelids grew heavy. But as she finally felt herself drifting off to sleep, she couldn’t help but let out a welcome sigh. Another ending and a new beginning, heh. Gah! She's too cute! Ughh, I'll never stop thinking about this the next few weeks, will I? I reckon it’d be nice to adventure together though, heheh. Properly, this time, not some random orc filled smuggler's road. Sophie shivered at the memory. Cause the stars only knows what the fates have planned for me. Until then though, I’ll take what I can get.