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A Knight's Lilies
Act 5 Chapter 3: Worries of the Lily

Act 5 Chapter 3: Worries of the Lily

“The Eryian embassy is advising all citizens belonging to but not limited to: Harma Eryind, Sel’Minora, Sel’Holond, Har Estlion, Harma Adosin, Harma Ivaedor and others. To report at once to an official of the embassy or contact a member of the Eryinian Rangers to register your work and residence in the event of an emergency evacuation of the city of Arteria due to wartime measures.”

- Emergency Bulletin in Elven Quarter, Arteria

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“Sophie…” Eva asked after a pause, “Would you ever… consider helping me?”

Sophie watched her mistress frown and felt her own brows curling up in confusion.

“You know, with… well, teaching these nerds.” Eva cocked her head at the other saints before jokingly making a face at them.

Sophie balked at the concept, the idea seeming almost as alien as being unable to die. Yet here she was, some strange voidborne amalgamation of a humanoid. Heh, me, an alien. Would explain why I”m so weird all the time.

The trio had caught up over some tea, with Sophie finding some joy in seeing Eva enjoy a refreshing chamomile tea. Just like at the estate. Though that was about all the joy she got as Eva then began recounting the difficulties that have cropped up given the increasing tension in the north and the war. According to Inquisitor Janos, the emperor of Traxia had railed against the church after finally learning of just how many saints were under their care, something that had put Saintsrest on edge. This was especially true now that Traxia had shown a willingness to discard treaties with their war against Carrador and Abenstadt. Though Saintsrest remains firmly under papal authority, it is rumoured that it's just a matter of time before Traxia would move against them.

She understood Eva’s suggestion, even if she found it absurd. Eva was worried about her charges and wanted them to get more practical training. They had slain goblins before but their field experience was limited, normal even. Eva knew that Sophie’s journey had been anything but normal, their previous conversations having established as much. Sophie sighed, it makes sense but… me? A combat teacher? I somehow don’t think anyone would be willing to fight like me, given that they’d most certainly perish from their wounds. Saint or not. And besides… fighting just…

Her contemplative expression must’ve reached Eva on some level, because the older girl quickly shook her head.

“Anyway, nevermind that, Soph. We can talk about that another time. What about you? How are you?! Also when’d you guys start dating?” Eva leaned in with a conspiratorial smirk.

The three shared a small giggle and Aryana took up the mantle of responding.

“Just last week.” Ary beamed.

“Last week?!” Eva exclaimed, her voice attracting attention from the other students who turned to focus on them.

“Eva…” Sophie groaned.

“Sorry, sorry. But last week?” Eva gestured for her students to ignore them, her voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper once again.

The duo nodded, their expressions mirroring one another. Eva looked positively delighted by this and graced them with a brilliant smile. It was a heartwarming moment for Sophie, and she felt almost content to simply rest on her laurels and bask in this moment. Almost.

Her mind quickly shifted to how the rest of their conversation would play out, how Eva would try to follow up on how she’d been. She also knew that she was a horrid liar, and that she detested lying to Eva. Damn, Sophie sighed.

“D’aww, I think it’s cute. No need to be so glum, ya little gremlin.” Eva joked.

“I’m not a gremlin!” Sophie let out an exasperated breath, “But… I guess, heheh.” Sophie smiled before once again faltering.

“Sophie,” Ary prodded her sides.

“Hmm?”

“Take a sip.”

“Eh?”

“Drink your tea, cool your head a bit.”

“E-oh… yeah, yeah.” Sophie nodded and took a sip.

A strange sense of relief flowed through her as the sweet but bitter orange tea washed around in her mouth. She almost chuckled at the feeling and gazed at Aryana fondly. She’s brilliant. Aryana flashed a quizzical gaze before a mischievous grin emerged on her face, Sophie suddenly feeling a sense of dread overcome her. The redhead then leaned over towards Eva.

“We’ve already kissed.” Ary whispered.

Eva’s eyes practically exploded with surprise and her jaw dropped. The older girl looked between the two of them before honing in on Sophie, looking to her for confirmation. Sophie sheepishly nodded and her face flushed with embarrassment at Aryana’s abrupt declaration. Eva looked even more shocked before she eventually snorted and a flicker of soft warmth flashed in Eva’s eyes. Wordlessly, Eva reached over and tousled Sophie’s hair, the sudden move making her squirm, much to Aryana’s amusement.

“Ooohhh, Sophieee.” Eva squeaked, “You guys are gonna have to tell me more, pretty please?”

“Of course!” Aryana answered for the two, shooting Sophie a menacing look that chilled her to the core. Is she… planning to talk about last night? Ahhhh.

Eva however, set Sophie free and gazed back over to the students, shooing away a few who tried to listen in before returning to the duo. “Maybe when we have less listeners, eh? Anyway, so? Little kissies aside, how have you been?”

Hearing that, Sophie deflated as her mind returned to the darkness that stewed within her. “Ehhh…” Sophie grimaced, “Okay.”

Her answer clearly wasn’t adequate as she watched Eva’s expression transform into a soft frown, her brows knitting together in the classic way she had always done whenever she was worried about Sophie. Sophie watched as Aryana’s joy also seemed to vanish as the redhead caught on to Sophie’s worries. Their hands clutched at each other’s under the table and Sophie felt a firm squeeze from the other. Goddess, I really can’t hide my worried face that well, huh?

“I’m guessing that not everything was as… good as that little bit of news, huh?”

Sophie shook her head.

“Listen, if you’re not comfortable talking about…”

Sophie shook her head dejectedly, “No, it’s you, Eva. How could I hide anything from you?”

“Soph…”

“I’m here too.” Ary chimed in, “Don’t worry.”

“Mmm, heh.” Sophie smiled absently, “Fair.”

“Take your time, Soph.”

“Yeah! Take your time.” Ary agreed.

Sophie took a deep breath, beaming at the two for their support before her demeanour darkened once more as she recounted her own struggles. Though she kept most of the real reasons behind her mental break that fateful training hidden behind half truths, she said enough to satisfy most of Eva’s curiosity. Saclia however, couldn't be kept hidden away from Eva. She had begun by trying to obscure most of the events and brush them off, but Eva had seen most of her ups and downs from childhood and easily latched onto the discomfort Sophie felt talking about it. Without a word traded between the two, Eva gently held onto Sophie’s free hand and her barriers broke. Eva had always supported her during her time at the estate, she only hoped that Eva wouldn’t judge her too harshly after she learned the truth. She’s always got her eyes set on being a good person.

“I’ve killed, Eva. And before you say it, no, not like… not like Melisgrad. That was… I felt angry, I paired with a lemurach and maybe… maybe I wasn’t all there.” Sophie winced, the images of the battle flashing in her mind, the wet fleshy heart as it beat its last beat in her hands, the torn open corpse. Goddess forgive me.

“Soph…”

“L-let me finish. Please?”

“Of course.”

“I…” Sophie trembled, shaking herself back to focus as the images tore themselves away from Melisgrad, from the horror into the dark. She now saw a version of herself, cutting through the cultists like they barely mattered, her blade taking life without pause. Then the shattering, the light and the countless bodies piled all around the ruin, all because of me, again.

Sophie sucked in a deep breath to steady herself.

“I killed a lot of people, Eva. I… I… an explosion, a duel... a lot.” She closed her eyes, relieving the battle as she began duelling the dark knight.

“Oh… Sophie…” Eva gently rubbed her hands, “Are you… do you feel…”

“It’s okay, Eva.” Sophie shook her head, “It’s…”

“Sophie, enough.” Aryana interrupted.

“H-huh?” Sophie let out a startled squeak.

“Sorry for trying to get you to talk. I don’t think you’re ready for this now, not so soon after. Sorry.”

“A-Ary, it’s… fine…”

“Sophie, I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner.” Eva’s eyes locked onto hers, “And I’m sorry you had to go through all that.” Eva grunted as she gently pet Sophie’s head, the familiar reassuring gesture calmed Sophie down slightly. Eva continued, “Look, I know we haven’t talked as much here at the Academy, but you’re still my friend, no matter what. So if you need me, please, please, please. Come talk to me. When you’re ready or whatever.”

“Okay.” Sophie replied with a hollow whisper.

“You know I care about you a lot, right?”

“I know.” She smiled weakly at the older girl.

“But Aryana’s right, you… I don’t think we should be talking about this right now. Especially out in public like this. You deserve to enjoy your date if anything. Sorry for bringing up bad memories.”

“Yeah… but…”

“It’s fine Sophie, neither of us are going anywhere.” Aryana chimed in.

“She’s right.”

Sophie looked at both of them before letting out a breath she had been holding in, “I.. suppose. But still… I killed… people… and I just… did it.” She acknowledged glumly. Saint damned hells, now I’m making everyone miserable too, good going idiot. She chided herself. The trio then fidgeted in awkward silence, the topic too grim to continue but not casual enough that any of them had the willpower or wherewithal to shift the conversation.

Aryana at least, seemed to be hit by the mood the hardest and performed what Sophie could only describe as a bird-like mating dance, puffing up her chest and sitting straighter in an attempt to ease some of the tension. She had a look that never usually wore, her face scrunched into an inscrutable expression, sighing heavily, almost like she regretted something. Without warning, Aryana broke the silence.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“We rubbed nipples.” The redhead randomly blurted out.

Sophie had to replay the moment in her head for a brief second, not quite comprehending what had just been said. When she did understand, her mind blanked as only the horrifying statement remained. Eva was equally as shocked, her eyes wide as saucers as she balked at the redhead incredulously.

No one, it seemed, had been ready for what Aryana did, not even herself. She had immediately looked away, her pale skin heating up to match the color of her hair as waves of shame and embarrassment washed over her. Both Sophie and Eva felt it as the two old friends shared a look of disbelief, what? Their faces then shifted into two opposite expressions, one of absolute amusement against one equally flustered half elf. Sophie could see Eva’s eyes briefly dance around her chest before looking back up as if to ask, ‘really?’ Sophie tried to maintain her composure but felt the tiniest quibble in her lip, it was too late. Almost in full synchronisation, she performed the tiniest nod as Eva choked back the inevitable giggle, and then they both failed.

“Hahaha, oh man. Didn’t see that one coming.” Eva lost herself to a fitful giggle.

Sophie stewed in her own embarrassment as the absurdity of the situation slowly wrapped itself around her. Aryana was now out of commission, her head firmly planted onto the table and refusing to meet either of their gazes. Sophie closed her eyes, trying to follow her partner’s lead only to find herself popping one eyelid open when Eva stifled her giggles. She found the older girl looking at both her and Aryana fondly. Seeing that, Sophie arched a quizzical eyebrow upwards, a gesture that Eva reciprocated with a smirk.

“I like her. You treat her well, ya hear me? Ya little gremlin.” Eva reached over and tousled Sophie’s hair, “Though her delivery needs work, she said that for you, you know?”

“Nghh?”

“Look, I’m not the best at this but even I can tell something’s off with you.”

“Eva…”

“Ah-uh, no weaseling out of this. You… you’ve done a lot. Things that you should probably get off your chest at least, when you’re ready. Right now? I don’t think she thinks you are ready and I'm inclined to agree.”

Aryana let out a muffled grunt at Eva’s words.

“So take your time, Soph. Just enjoy the little moments, especially now you’ve started dating.” Eva teased, “When you’re ready, you know I’m always here for you. To listen or otherwise. Okay?”

“O-okay.” Sophie reluctantly acquiesced.

“Good. And look! It’s almost dinner time, so if the two of you have plans, you should run.” The older girl shot her a cheeky grin, “Besides, I’ve already taken up enough of your date. This is your day with each other, not a third wheel like me.”

“Eva!”

“Don’t ‘Eva’ me. I know what you rub now.” Eva bit back a laugh.

“Eva!” Sophie squawked.

“Does little Sophie still check her bust size?”

“Eva! That’s- I… none of your business!” Sophie let out an indignant whine.

“In the mornings.” The muffled words echoed from beside them, “When she thinks I’m asleep.”

“I-I… but you… I-”

“Bwhaha, oh my stars. No way she just outed you. Hahaha, oh man, fair enough.” Eva cackled, “You’ve got a keeper.” Eva’s eyes now sparkled with mirth, a far cry from the grim seriousness that had lingered only a few moments ago.

“Thank you.” Came another mumbled reply.

“I… what do I…” This two pronged attack isn’t fair.

“It’s alright, Soph. Sorry it rattled you. But, she does seem to really care for you.” I know that much.

“Thank you.” Aryana replied, this time finally pushing herself back up to a slouch, “And I do.” She stated firmly, holding Sophie's arm. Awww.

“Hah, good, good. Take care of Sophie okay? She’s a fragile little gremlin.”

“I will.”

Sophie blushed at the sudden declaration and could only watch helplessly as the other two shared what appeared to be a silent conversation. Her despair rose to new levels as they clearly connected, the two both shooting each other small little smiles. What are they talking about? It’s about me, isn’t it?

Her suspicions were confirmed when Aryana put on her best pleading eyes and tugged at her sleeves, a sign for them to go. Sophie turned to look at Eva for confirmation who only leaned back in her chair before nodding.

“It was nice seeing you both, really. And Sophie… if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. Alright?”

“I… I-I’ll keep that in mind, Eva. And thanks.”

“Good. Now scram you two.” Eva shooed them away, “And have a nice date.” She winked. Huh? She’s kicking us out, just like that?

“We will, thank you. I’ll try my best to keep her safe.” Aryana answered for the duo, still trying to drag Sophie away.

“Ary…” Sophie began but stopped, Aryana’s adorable pouting face subduing her at once.

“Dinner.” Aryana growled, giving her hand a firm tug.

“I… right. See you later, Eva. I missed you too.” Sophie dipped her head respectfully.

“Hah, likewise Sophie, get some good kisses in.” Eva waved as the duo left.

“Eva!” Sophie hissed.

The older girl merely shot Sophie a suggestive look, glancing between her and Aryana. Sophie blushed at the implication, shooting a playful glare back in return only for Aryana to drag her away.

Once they were outside of the library, Sophie felt the tension leaving her body as her soul unburdened itself, her mind now spending its efforts chiding herself at her silliness. And to think, I was so wrapped up about Freddie dating Eva that I tried to avoid talking to her lest I bring it up. But seeing her today, I guess I really was just being silly, almost like a gremlin. Heh. No time for that though, Eva’s right, it’s date time!

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Sophie found Aryana trying to avoid her gaze, the flush of embarrassment still clear on the redhead’s face. Sophie hid a little grin at the endearing sight, shuffling in a little closer to interlock their arms instead. Aryana gave a frightful little jump but settled into the movement, pulling closer and tightening her grip.

Aryana eventually guided the two of them back to the All Hog’s Arms, the tavern was still lively in spite of the looming war over hanging over the city. Aryana held up two fingers and the innkeepers simply tilted his head towards a few free tables on the far side. Two bards competed for the patronage of two and a half dozen people. A few meetings were occurring too as more than one person looked dressed like an adventurer, sitting at little booth tables on the far side, away from the crowd enjoying the music. But none of that mattered to her right now, her attention returning back to Aryana as the two of them took their seats.

Their order had been a simple one, a simple roast and a house special. The roast consisted of pork haunch roasted for a few hours, covered in some strangely savory sweet sauce, served above a bed of vegetables. The house special were ‘hog arms’; little cubes of lean meat, scattered above bread, potatoes, carrots, and covered by its own juices in a thick gravy. The meat was what was expected of taverns in a city, nothing too amazing but certainly more than scrumptious enough to satisfy any cravings.

“Ary.” Sophie spoke up, munching on a bite of roasted port.

Aryana paused to look up, her little green eyes radiating an anxious pensiveness that Sophie honestly didn’t expect. Is she worried that I’m mad? Or is she just… more worried about me?

“Huh?” Ary answered.

“What Eva said, is it really because you were worried about me?”

Aryana’s forehead creased into a frown and the redhead massaged her temples, tapping her fork absently against a piece of potato before turning back to Sophie.

“Yeah… but no… but…” She sighed, “It’s complicated.”

“How so? I mean, I know I wasn’t in the right… right state of mind back then. But I was ready to talk, to tell Eva everything.”

“I know you were, that’s why I stopped you. Ugh.” Ary groaned, her hands now toying with her braid, “It’s just… I don’t like to see you hurt, Sophie.”

“I know.” Sophie reached over to hold Aryana’s hand, “But I can handle that. Hells, I’ve been through a lot, you know that.”

Aryana seemed to stare at their interlocked hands for a moment before grunting, tapping the table as she tried to formulate her thoughts.

“Ugh, I do.” She grumbled, “But it’s not that. It’s… I… look, promise you won’t judge me much for this okay?”

“It’s fine? I mean, I won’t, sure.”

“Sophie…”

“I mean it.” Sophie squeezed her hand.

“Fine.” Ary sighed, “How do I say this not weirdly? Ehum… gah.” She flicked her braid in annoyance, turning her attention back to her meal.

After a few bites, something seemed to solidify within Aryana’s thoughts. Breaking off a piece of bread, she swallowed it before facing Sophie with a determined look in her eye.

“What I mean is that I care about you. And… well it’s just, I care about you as both my best friend and well, you know.” Aryana gently ran her fingers over Sophie’s hand, “The point is, you’re one of my closest friends, and ever since back with the clan…” She shuddered, “It’s been a new experience for me.”

“And you didn’t think I was ready?”

“No! I mean, yes, but not like that. Ugh, what I mean is… is… it hurts me to see you break down like that Sophie. I-I guess I just didn’t know how to respond besides to stop the conversation… sorry. I know that’s a bit selfish of me, it’s… your choice after all.” Ary deflated slightly, a dejected sigh escaping her lips.

“Ary…”

“I know, it’s stupid. Sorry, but I-mmpff?!” Aryana barely squeaked as Sophie pulled her in and stole a quick kiss.

When she released the girl, the redhead appeared to be in a mild state of shock as she stayed leaning over the table until Sophie squeezed her hand again.

“Thanks, Ary. For caring so much. I know it might not sound like much, but, I really treasure you and Eva a lot. You more so now.” Sophie smirked, “But… let’s face it, I somehow doubt I’ll stop ending up in shitty situations so I need to be able to talk about it somehow… get used to it-”

“But you shouldn’t!” Aryana snapped, “You deserve to be happy too! Why must you be the one to bear all our burdens? Why must you get used to so much pain?”

“Because I’m the one who can’t die. I can’t let anyone else suffer for my mistakes if I can help it. I… I just can’t.”

“I know! But what I meant is here and now, like, why do you need to be the one all torn up inside when catching up with friends?”

“Because I killed people, there’s no changing that.” Sophie winced as soon as she said it. Shit, too far.

Aryana too, seemed to grimace, her crestfallen expression now carving a hole through Sophie.

“Right… sorry.” Ary grunted.

“Ary?"

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I just… I wasn’t really thinking about what might be going on with your head and I…” Her lips quivered, “I’m sorry.”

The two looked away from each other, barely fidgeting with their food. Sophie could feel everything in her body tighten with tension, the same kind when she felt fear. She knew where Aryana was coming from, but she had her own pains, she just needed to express this properly. I can’t let her be sad.

“Hey, Ary.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry too. I know you care, I… I’m really grateful for that. But what I’m trying to say is, that I’ll have to get used to these feelings even if I don’t want to. So it’s just something I-we won’t be able to avoid. Which means… which means I’m all the more happy that you’re right here with me, right now. But also, I’ll know when something’s right for me, or at least when I have to at least try, alright?”

“Euh, Sophie…” Ary seemed to be even more despondent, her entire being shrinking into itself. Stars, it hurts just as much to see her looking so glum.

“But, Ary.”

“Sorry.”

“Ary.”

“Sorry.”

“Aryana.”

“Eu-eh?” The redhead timidly looked over.

“That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. I can tell you genuinely care, and that means that world to me. I wouldn’t be able to be so calm now if you, we, well if we didn’t… heh.” Sophie chuckled.

The hint of a smile flashed across Aryana’s face and Sophie felt a wave of relief wash over her. Stars above, I don’t think she’ll cry, at least. I don't think my heart could handle that right now.

“What that means is… stay by my side, yeah? Because you’re right, there’s a lot happening and while I’ll have to eventually deal with all of it, I… I hope that I’m not doing it all on my own either. You’ve been a great friend, don’t worry about that. Your kindness is what keeps me going, I mean it. It’s like an anchor to hold me down. I’ll still drift a fair bit, but at the end of the day. Being able to hold you, talk to you, and kiss you, heheh. It helps a lot.”

Aryana still seemed doubtful, but the hopeful twinkle in her eyes brought Sophie an untold amount of joy.

“Really?” The redhead squeaked.

“Really. Besides, can I tell you a secret?”

“Ehum, y-yes?”

Sophie bit her lip as she almost regretted playing her hand so early, but nonetheless, with the words spoken, she scooted over towards Aryana. Only when their chairs touched did she stop, leaning over to whisper in the girl’s ear.

“I’m taking a page from your book.”

“H-huh?”

“Because, Ary, I have to confess. It felt really strange when you wrapped around me earlier, back at the park, and with you being possessive of me with Eva.”

“S-sorry!” Ary hastily replied, “It’s just, I was just-”

“I found it kinda, really attractive. Like, when we kiss and you take charge. It’s… hot.” Sophie interrupted, trying to speak her words with a sultry whisper that only led to her own ears burning red with embarrassment.

But when she pulled away, to get a better look of the situation. She found Aryana frozen in place, looking equal parts mortified, flustered, and exhilarated. Sophie tried to calm herself only for Aryana to suddenly grab both her hands and draw the two back together, sneaking in a deeper kiss than the first.

They were breathless for a moment as they gazed into each other’s eyes, the tavern light and hazy image of themselves reflecting off of them. They then watched as the edges of each other’s eyes began to crease and the two let out a few stifled giggles. Aryana was smiling once more and Sophie was more than happy at the result. Ignoring the rest of the tavern, she leaned in and rubbed her face against Aryana’s, feeling the delight from the redhead as she relaxed at the contact.

“I mean it.” Sophie whispered.

“I-I’ll keep… it… yes, keep it in mind.” Ary growing flustered once again.

Sophie let out a satisfied sigh, the tension within herself and Ary had been resolved. She was worried that things with Eva would ruin the date, then the seriousness of her talk with Ary. But now, the night seemed to stand a chance at being more enjoyable. Her own problems also seemed just a little bit more manageable, with Eva offering her support and Ary reaffirming her’s. Heh, Sophie grinned, the world needs more people like them, capable, kind, and caring. Ahhh, she’s so cute. The world definitely needs more Aryanas! But this one’s mine to date!