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A Knight's Lilies
Act 4 Chapter 12: Doubt and Student Clubs

Act 4 Chapter 12: Doubt and Student Clubs

“The Adventurers Guild is one of the few institutions that are always guaranteed to attract more than a few bright souls from the Arterian Academy’s halls. This relationship has always been cultivated by both sides; the Academy being able to boast of the many venerable students that have been elevated to local, regional or even national legends that joined the guild; the guild in turn, obviously enjoys the fact that talented, trained and educated students can easily integrate into their ranks. Though there have been a few strains within the relationship, one can still confidently say that this is one of the guild’s most profitable partnerships.”

- Corsia Adams, Fmr Adventurers Guildmaster - Arterian Branch, “Two Sides of the Coin.”

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Happiness was a strange thing. The feelings of joy and the emotions she felt for Eva were real, she knew that in her heart she truly did feel overjoyed that the two had finally mustered up the courage to confess. She remembered the long nights she had spent with Eva and how awkwardly Eva had danced around the topic of their friendship with the prince, how it was something she had teased Eva about. Still, she found herself caught off guard by the sudden revelation, her tightening up at the thought, her muscles tensing as she tried to ignoring the voices of doubt within her. I’m happy, but I’m not.

Sophie felt ashamed. She was ashamed of her thoughts and how she seemed to find such displeasure in her mistress’s happiness. How she couldn’t really grapple with the one thought that had wormed its way into her mind; that Eva belonged to her. It felt wrong, dirty even, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. Eva was the one who rescued her, who cared for her, who practically raised her. In turn, she was the one whom Eva relied upon, confided in, and considered family. It felt like a betrayal, yet, her mind was still keenly aware that this was also a joyous occasion. Thus when her emotions threatened to break her barriers, where tears were meant to drop, she only managed to eek out a sad smile instead. Proud, but defeated.

It didn’t help that she had made a fool of herself in front of Aryana, hanging so desperately onto the girl for some comfort that she was almost certain she had hurt her. She cringed at how just an hour ago, she had been clutching onto the still clueless girl’s sleeve, using her as emotional support when mere minutes ago she had been happy and bubbly. For one thing, Sophie was certain Aryana had sensed something wrong, the girl’s quick deflection of Eva’s offer as proof enough. On the other, even now, Sophie couldn’t find it in herself to tell Aryana what had happened, her shame and embarrassment holding her back.

She stared into the mirror and looked at her own reflection, wondering just what another version of her might be thinking in this moment. She could see the judging eyes looking back at her, the disgust evident on its face and the disappointment that followed encompassed by a singular word, pathetic. She growled at the reflection only for it to growl back, as if questioning her authority. Her emotions only faltered when her eyes settled down onto the travel pack that she often carried and the sword that rested beside it. She had no real use for it at the Academy, but all the same it offered a small sense of comfort when she looked at it. For it reminded her of her journey to get here, the trials she struggled through. How it was all in service to return to Eva’s side with no thoughts of a reward. That’s right, end of the day… I’ll be happy because I am Eva’s loyal servant and ally, no matter the situation.

She looked back at her reflection to find what could best be described as a faceful of judgement and doubt. What do you want? She scowled at herself.

That really all there is to it? You’re just Eva’s little servant girl? It seemed to ask.

Yeah, so?

Is she worth it?

Of course. She raised me, without her we would have nothing.

Perhaps, but did she really fight for you?

Of course! She always defended us against mother or Hilda when she could. She-

And what did she do to help us when they took us. When her house’s guards took us? Who allowed it? Who were they working with? The Inquisition, sure. But you’re all chummy with them now, even that little Mila. So? Who sold us out? Her brothers? Or worse, her?

What the hells are you implying?

Where was she when we were lost in Eichafen? Melton? Arteria? We only bumped into her by chance.

So? She was looking for us, she even sent Sir Baylein.

Yeah, some help he turned out to be. Ditched us for the war and never heard from again.

Eva looked for us.

And? I didn’t see her sweating, worried, and too concerned. Seemed to like sitting on her pretty ass down here in the Academy while you were dying.

She has her duties to her family and to the realm!

More than her obligation to you?

I… she still cares! She even spent time with us and talking to-

She told you about Freddie so off handedly. Come on, me. It’s not that she’s dating Freddie that you think is the problem. It’s that she didn’t even consult or talk to you afterwards, didn’t come find you to confide in. You’ve got feelings for her, sure. And it hurts that she’s smitten by another, but that’s something you already knew, from back home. It’s that she’s already left you behind. You feel it too don’t you? She’s got more important things to care for now, more reliable supports,. You, me? We don’t matter anymore, she's had her fill of you. It's over.

A vicious expression entered Sophie’s eyes. Whatever the case, I’m Eva’s loyal maid, that’s that.

Hahahah, of course you are. I guess only time will tell if that remains true, hmm?

Why you-

A soft click of the doorway sent Sophie into a startled frenzy as she blinked away her surprise and fear. She wiped away the bizarre look in her face and found herself staring blankly at the mirror. Wha-what happened? She looked down to find her hands balled into fists and trembling with barely concealed rage, the only sign that not all was well.

“Sophie?” A soft voice resonated from the doorway, carrying warmth and a hint of concern.

“Ah… Ary… hi.” Sophie managed to say.

“You okay? You sound a bit stressed. I umm… I brought dinner.” Aryana softly murmured, “I didn’t know what you might’ve wanted so I just got what you ordered during lunch.”

“What I ordered… oh… that’s the pork, veg, and red cabbage right?” Sophie managed to eek out a smile before frowning, “But isn’t that from Griffin hall? Isn’t that a fifteen- twenty minute walk at least? Just going there and back…”

Aryana looked away bashfully and just lifted a small sack with two squared wooden boxes within, distributing them onto the table in the room.

“I… I thought you could use the company. And… you looked happy when you had this for lunch so… I thought it would cheer you up a bit. You know, since you seemed to fond of it, no fermented cabbage though.”

Home is not something I want to think of right now, Sophie almost sighed. But hearing the sincerity in Aryana’s voice and the genuine concern in her eyes did warm Sophie’s heart slightly. She leaned back and closed her eyes before breaking out into a hearty laugh, scaring the poor girl.

“Sophie?!”

“Heheheh. Ahhh, man.” Sophie sighed amidst her laughter, “Ary… you…” She shook her head before walkling over and giving the redhead an aggressive hair ruffle that seemed to startle her further.

“Sophie!” Aryana squeaked.

“You…” Sophie finally relented and pulled away, plopping down onto the chair with a sad grin on her face, “Here I was, worried about… a lot. And you… I don’t deserve you.”

“Sophie?! No?!”

Sophie giggled and just smiled.

“Ary… can I hug you?”

Aryana seemed taken aback by the abrupt shift in Sophie’s tone and just stared for a moment before she nodded, closing the distance and allowing Sophie to wrap her arms around her. Sophie took in the moment and smiled at the faint scent of flowers and vanilla. After a moment, Aryana wrapped her arms around Sophie as well and just held the pose, one standing, one sitting.

“Sophie… you okay?” Aryana managed to ask after a while.

Sophie looked up and met Aryana’s concerned gaze, opting to just smile before shaking her head. “No, no I”m not." She confessed, "I got a lot to figure out right now.”

“O-oh.” Aryana’s expression saddened slightly, “How can I help? Umm, you can talk to me if you need!”

“You… you don’t need to do a thing, Ary. This… food, being around, and just… everything. It’s more than enough, heh. There’s a lot I need to figure out on my own first but,” Sophie leaned in with her ear pressed against Aryana’s stomach and sighed, “you’re kinder and more soothing than you have any right to be.”

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“I… umm… thank you?”

“Heheh, hahahah. Man. I was worried about so much but here, right now, I think I can afford to just smile and relax a little.”

Sophie could see Aryana moving to respond when a small growl escaped the redhead’s stomach, the girl’s face immediately contorting in embarrassment as she tried to escape Sophie’s gaze.

“Heheh, Ary.”

“Y-yeah?”

“What was that?”

“N-nothing!”

“Ary?”

“Uhn?” Aryana jumped.

“Wanna eat dinner with me?”

“Merrr.”

“Then let’s eat, eh? You sound hungry and I promise not to be too depressing.”

“I… alright.” Aryana nodded.

As the two parted and moved to sit down for dinner, Sophie could feel a weight lift from her shoulders. Whatever the problem is with Eva, right now it doesn’t matter. Yeah, not right now. She glanced fondly at her companion and broke into a full smile when Aryana finally caught on, the redhead making an embarrassed squirm at the attention.

“Hey, Ary.” Sophie called out.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For this, for just… being around. Thanks. I really mean it.”

“Ahh… heh… it’s nothing. You’d do the same.” Aryana gave a shy wave.

I’d do the same huh? Would I? I’d hope so. Sophie felt all giddy inside at the thought and flashed another smile at her companion.

“I mean it. Thanks."

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The next school day came and went and soon, Phaerus had arrived and classes transitioned into a student-led day, with organisations popping up all around the Academy and most staffers stuck patrolling alongside Guardians. Before today, Sophie had spent most of yesterday gritting her teeth and ignoring the emotions building up within her, smiling and nodding in the few interactions that she had with Eva after class. It thus came as a bit of a relief when she now had today to just spend outside of the classroom and away from just thinking about life while taking notes.

That relief was short-lived however, as today, the student groups Aryana wanted to see were mostly on the opposite side of campus. Though it irked her in doing so, the two had to eventually separate. That meant Sophie heading towards Grats hall and Aryana going towards Brightwood. Where Freddie is. She felt almost ashamed at the tinge of displeasure she felt towards simply thinking of him. Freddie’s been a family friend and has been around for most of my life. But then why… do I feel almost jealous of him, resentful? First Eva, now Ary... ugh, stop.

She frowned and shook her head, forcing her attention back on the festivities around. Clubs once again performed out in the open to attract potential members. A great deal more seemed to be out on display today compared to orientation day and scattered all across campus instead of being confined to the main square. For a brief moment, Sophie found herself just revelling in the joyous mood of the campus, feeling the wave of elation shared by the countless students at their day off.

Through great effort she resisted the temptation to simply wander until she arrived in front of Grats hall, the large elven school of war. Upon entering the building, it was like she had entered into a completely different realm. Instead of the outdoors, the lively student conversations were now augmented by the clacking of wooden practice weapons and grunts from the various training rooms. Little flyers and signs stretching all the way down the halls rested outside the rooms, each denoting the group that currently occupied the rooms. There were two in particular that had caught her eye during orientation; first the duelists that had demonstrated their fencing prowess; and the junior adventurers, a group that purported to help any wannabe Academy students work more closely with the guild. An intriguing proposition, at the very least worth checking out.

When she stepped into the designated room, she could almost feel the friendly vibes of the students within. To her surprise, two older looking men sat on the far side of the room discussing things with a few students, their attire not of Academy regulation nor the ones belonging to staff or lecturers. Guild officials? Here?

“Why hello there!” Someone called for her attention.

A blue robed red striped student waved her over, his movements slowing down a little when his eyes reached her ears. A few others around him also looked at her warily, though as most Academy students did, their concerns were kept to themselves. At least they aren’t like the Traxians.

“Thank you.” She curtsied, “Is this the Junior Adventurers Organisation?”

“Ah… that’s us. Though just Junior Adventurers is fine. No need to be so err… formal. How can we help you?”

Sophie pondered her next words before she spoke again, “I was hoping your group could put me in touch with the Adventurers guild.”

“The guild? Well you’re in luck considering today’s the first week of the new semester. Those guys over there are getting a lecture from guild officials. If you would, please write down your name and year just for attendance sake.” The student pointed at a paper on his desk already filled with scribbles.

Sophie did as she was told and was directed towards the gathered group, garnering the attention of the officials and other students. Though one raised an eyebrow at her, the two continued talking to the students, not letting a small distraction bother them. Professional.

By the end of their talk, all Sophie gleaned was that the guild would be opening certification testing this weekend for anyone interested, allowing them to at least get a feel for each student’s skill level when it came to skills useful for an adventurer. The one requirement of course, was waking up early enough on Caeus to catch the ferry for the trials, and potentially blotting out half of Morus for additional testing. Something that would likely lower the time she could spend with Aryana. I just hope she has something to keep her occupied but being away from here… might just clear my mind a bit. Though I wonder if this even matters. I could probably just go to the guild with my weapons licence and get tested anyways. But, I suppose meeting some new people could be nice.

With one club sorted, she headed towards the dueling club’s room only for a less than welcome sight to greet her. Standing a head taller than Sophie and looking like a far more malicious version of Eva was her brother. Mortiz. Sophie almost growled before immediately trying to avoid eye contact. Of course, of all the places, it’d be here. To show off his stupid sword too I bet. Probably got one after he bitched enough after Theo got his.

“Oh…” A chilly voice echoed down the hallway, “Quite surprised to see you here, if I’m honest.”

Fuck, he noticed me. She bowed, keeping silent and her eyes pointed to the ground, avoiding his gaze.

“Tsh. So dutiful as always.” He groaned, “Hey guy, check her out. Remember my sister? The crazy bitch in the mines?”

“Yeah, hard to forget.” Someone else affirmed.

“This one’s her handmaiden or something.” Mortiz said.

“An elf?” A third voice chimed in.

“Tsk. Half blood. Even worse.”

“It’s not…”

“Of course it’s not related by blood to any of us. Found this one in the woods somewhere.”

“That… sounds a little bizarre.”

“Tell me about it. And you.” He rounded up on Sophie, “Get moving.” He barked.

Sophie lowered her head further and quickly shuffled past them, earning herself a round of sniggering from the noble brats. Feeling the hostile stares on the back of her neck, she shrunk a little more, the unpleasant sensation still proving hard to overcome. The mines? Where the hells is that? There’s no mine on Academy Isle. What the hells did Eva do to make him so hostile? Moritz was bad before but this seems a bit much. I'll have to ask next time I see her. She pressed on, making her way into the dueling room.

Within, she found herself transfixed by the myriad of students currently sparring against each other. Two on the far dueled in a more unorthodox fashion, slapping all across each other with their wooden blades, holding attention through sheer martial prowess and strength. Another duo fought with practice foils, much as the fencers did during the orientation day demonstration, their elegant poses and quick bouts of action keeping the gathered crowd in suspense.The final pair dueled each other with quarter staffs, the satisfying thunk of the wooden staffs creating a rhythmic beat to the proceedings.

A student representative caught her eye from the corner of the room and beckoned her over. Sophie reluctantly tearing her eyes away from the fighting and towards the rep.

“Interested?” The cheery kid smiled at her.

“Uhh… kinda?”

“Haha, don’t worry. We have more than a few of your kind with us too. We don’t mind.”

Sophie raised an eyebrow, more surprised at his nonchalant way at referring to her just as ‘your kind’ without a trace of irony. Bafflement aside, Sophie just shrugged and gestured at the fighters.

“So do you guys just practice or what exactly do you do here?”

“Ahh, good question.” He bobbed his head, “We mostly focus on prepping for demonstrations and hosting Academy competitions but yes, we do get quite a bit of practice here. That something you are looking for?”

“Something like that.”

“Hah, your people are so formal sometimes. But that’s wonderful! Here, just sign here to show your interest. We obviously have demonstrations and sign ups today, and though we are allowing novices and newcomers to practice…” He sheepishly looked at the crowd of students just watching the fight, “It’s probably going to be pretty hard to join in today. Otherwise, we meet the coming Phaerus at two in the afternoon.”

“Huh.” Sophie grunted, signing her name on the sheet.

“Whoa, no house name. That’s weird for you elves isn’t it?” He looked mildly bewildered, "Like heritage is important and what not right?"

“Mmhmm.”

“Huh... well, in that case, looking forward to learning more about you next week, eh?”

“Mmm.”

“Cya around!” He waved happily.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Sophie moved away and when she was certain she was out of earshot, she sighed. Her nerves still felt a bit more on edge with everything that happened with Eva and now Moritz. It was a disquieting feeling that reminded her of her time in Melton, of outside forces far beyond her control, smashing what semblance of control that she had regained. Still, she didn’t let it get her down and just pinched her nose, taking a moment to recollect herself. But at least not everything’s going wrong.

Sophie watched with a sense of longing at the combatants duking it out for a few more bouts. A new student or two switching in to test their mettle against the older ones. It seemed like an interesting activity at the very least, though she knew that it was a hollow replacement for field training under the blademaster. Taurox… I hope he’s alright. An even more lackluster comparison to a full fight in the field. Yet there was something there that still stirred her, her fingers instinctively craving sensation a blade within them. Unnerved, she hurriedly made an exit, bidding a quick goodbye to the student rep as she left.

With a heavier heart than she had entered, she stood outside and embraced cold breeze that had descended over the isle. She could hear the sounds of a flock of seabirds beyond the walls, their calls just barely cutting through the chatter of students around the campus. For a moment she just stared at the sky, wondering how life would’ve been different if she could simply dump all her emotions and troubles away, just leave it all behind and fly away in the wind. A nice fantasy at least. With another sigh, she looked down and frowned, but the job's not done yet. Still gotta get to the tower in the main hall. Goddess knows how I'll do that though. Yeesh, no use stressing about that now though. Should probably go meet up with Ary for lunch before she gets worried. Hells, maybe she'll even have a club or two for me to visit. Maybe I'll even take up botany like Eva and Ary, heh, wouldn't that be fun.