“Ingrained into our very soul, is the majesty of the beast. It is imprinted in our very nature to fight as elegantly and artfully as they do. Yet they are still beasts, and with their instincts they can channel the raw fury of nature. We, posses no such connections lest you are a dyrad in disguise. Thus, we bring forth our emotions into the blades we wield, the stances we take, and the causes we fight for. Like an arrow guided by the Goddess herself, I shall take you upon this path and forge you into a beast.”
- Sir Pellean Hostianus, Flight Captain of House [Unknown], “Translated Texts of the Griffin Knights”
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Aryana was worried. Ever since Caeus, Sophie had been acting off. Her pleasant disposition remained yet behind those gem like eyes Aryana could see the forced composure that took its toll on her friend. Like a kettle on the verge of overflowing, something bubbled deep within her friend and no matter what she did, she couldn’t stop the water from boiling over. Thus, by the time they both went to bed for the night, she only felt a sense of dread overtake her when unlike other times, Sophie was deathly still and fast asleep.
By the time Morus arrived, Sophie was almost beyond sullen to the point of withdrawn. At the same time, no matter what Aryana suggested, the haitre simply went along without protest. There was also a sadness that Aryana could see emanating from her friend, a sort of hollow sorrowfulness that took the pep out of her every step. All Aryana could do was occasionally snuggle up to Sophie and gently nuzzle her in an attempt to soothe whatever ache she felt. Thankfully, with this at least, every time she did so she managed to elicit a mournful sigh from Sophie before the girl would softly ruffle her hair.
Her efforts proved to be in vain however, and it was after lunch that Sophie had simply declared she was going to the training grounds. Normally, Aryana wouldn’t think much of it, they were both busy and had their own schedules to attend to. But today felt different, and not only that, Sophie didn’t just go, she had also taken her real blade with her. That, made Aryana worry.
After saying a quick goodbye, Aryana had paced around the room wondering what to do when an idea struck her. She seemed really off kilter when she talked with Eva the other week, I wonder… With a plan in mind, she hurriedly raced out of the dorm only to slow down when she got the university greens. And where would Eva be on a weekend? Oh no, what if she’s in the city?! What do I do then?
She aimlessly wandered the campus for about half an hour, unsuccessfully finding any signs of Eva or any of the other Vaettaghs. The low landers called them saints so Aryana had assumed they would be by the campus cathedral, but wandering the grounds outside, she saw no trace of them. Her distress grew as the seconds ticked by and she felt her panic grow. What if Sophie needs me? Distracted by her thoughts she barely noticed the hand that tapped her shoulder.
“Gweh?” Aryana jumped forward, panic filling her eyes.
“Gotcha.” A tall tawny looking girl smirked triumphantly.
“Bweh-heh?” Aryana uttered another terrifying noise as she slowly calmed down.
Her eyes slowly refocused on the girl in front of her and recognised Fana, her friend and partner within the herbology department. The tall girl was originally from some distant land called Lucuria, part of a nomad caravan that traded between them and Traxia. As Fana gently bopped her nose, she finally started processing the situation a little more, finding the girl wearing a bemused expression on her face.
“Sorry. Heheh, but you were too easy a target.” Fana sheepishly apologised before opening her arms up for a hug, “How are you, Aryana?”
Still a little wary, Aryana dragged her disorientated self over and accepted the warm embrace, nestling herself within the taller girl’s protective grasp.
“H-hello.” She managed to say, letting the girl pat her head. "Doing... not the best."
It was a strange but pleasant feeling, different from the affection that Sophie showed but welcome nonetheless. She responded to the gesture in kind and rubbed her cheek against Fana’s chest, bringing out a small giggle from the older girl.
“You’re like a child sometimes.” Fana complained, but made no motion to stop. Aryana taking that as a sign to continue.
Aryana felt her mind gradually relax as the panic subsided somewhat, replaced by happy feelings as it welcomed the comforting feeling. She felt so enamoured with the feeling that she almost forgot why she was here, only momentarily managing to recollect herself after Fana grabbed both her cheeks and stretched them.
“Murrr.” Aryana grumbled with satisfaction.
She enjoyed it here, at the Academy. Her peers treated her like a person and to her surprise even talked to her, a startling experience at first but one that she gradually grew more used to as they somehow found her shyness endearing. She made many new friends and acquaintances and even though more than a few of them saw her as some strange foreign object on account of her mannerisms, she didn’t mind. They involved her in their talks and lunches, they allowed her to tag along to their hangouts and she didn’t feel so alone anymore. Best of all, at night, she knew that Sophie would be there and that she no longer had to spend frigid horrible nights curled up all alone anymore. No longer with the stupid tribe that hated her so. Ahh, Sophie!
“Meep.” Aryana squeaked as she finally pulled away from Fana’s grasp. Healed by the encounter by now buoyed by a returning sense of urgency.
“Aryana?” Fana’s held a concerned expression on her face, “Are you alright?”
“Huh? Eh? Weh? Yeah! But I forgot I was looking for someone for a moment there. I’m looking for Saintess Eva- Evaline.” She managed to hurriedly stammer out.
“You’re looking for a saintess?”
“Uhn!” Aryana furiously nodded, “But cannot find.”
“Well, I doubt just wandering around the square would work. Unless you planned to meet here?” Fana chuckled.
Aryana shook her head vigorously, “No meet.”
“Heheh, well then have you tried asking a priest inside? There should be a few inside prepping for afternoon sermons.”
“Ehhhh…”
“Ah, got it.” Fana smirked, “Too curious to leave, but too shy to go in. Classic you.”
Aryana looked away in shame but nodded ever so slightly. Technically, Fana’s assumption was the truth, Aryana did in fact feel uncomfortable bothering devoutees of the High Goddess in their place of worship when she herself was only half as faithful. For the spirits guide as all the stars light my way. She murmured a soft prayer in her head. But the other reason was why she really couldn’t bring herself to enter. Though her wounds have healed, every time she got close to the cathedral doors, her arm would start to tingle, the itchy feeling of the cast and the memories it brought surfacing once again. She shivered at the sensation.
“C’mon then, let’s go in. Fana shall keep you company.” The girl smiled.
Aryana gingerly nodded and flashed a tepid smile in return, following her new guide into the Academy’s cathedral. Inside, there was a chill in the air that sent tingles down her spine. The decor seemed more rustic and little less grand than it’s Arterian counterpart, but the arches, domed shapes and tiled floors still brought back memories best left behind. She winced when she could feel the attention of a few of the temple staff turn their attention their way and shuddered as a grizzled looking man wearing striped red and blue robes walked towards them.
“Stars guide your path, young ones. How may I help you today? You’re here quite early for the afternoon’s sermons.” The man bowed and flashed a friendly smile.
“Stars guide you, Light Speaker.” Fana smiled and bowed as well, Aryana meeting her gaze and hurriedly following suit, “Hope we’re not being too much of a bother. We’re actually here to look for someone.”
Fana elbowed her and sudden’y Aryana found two sets of eyes looking expectantly at her. She squirmed from the attention before awkwardly bowing again.
“Ehum, hello. We are, I am, indeed looking for someone.” Aryana stated, “I’m looking for Eva… er… saintess Evaline… Rose… Rosengart.”
A mixed expression flashed briefly across the priest’s face and he pursed his lips in displeasure before replying.
“I’m sorry I can’t help you.” He feigned a smile.
Aryana bit her lip and looked ready to retreat only for Fana to glare at her. Argh, this is so embarrassing.
“Umm… please? It’s an important matter.”
He cocked an eyebrow and now frowned with obvious displeasure, “Important how?”
“Ahh… uhmmm… it’s about her household staff.”
“Her… household staff?” The man queried in disbelief.
“Yeah, about one of her maids. It’s really important.”
“And what’s really important?”
“Uhh, it’s about her maid. She has some issues that only Eva can deal with.” Aryana pleaded.
“Her… maid?” The priest seemed absolutely baffled, “You want… a saint to deal with a maid?”
“Yes.”
The priest seemed at a loss for words and just looked over at his colleagues as if to ask what was happening. Their little conversation seemed to have attracted some level of attention and Aryana spied an elderly looking priest slowly hobbled over.
“Bishop.” The first priest immediately bowed respectfully.
Fana bowed and Aryana in turn also bowed. The old man letting out a small chuckle at what was happening.
“Light Speaker.” The old man acknowledged before looking at the two girls, “Now I couldn’t help but be nosy and listen in given how good the acoustics are in here.” He gestured at the cathedral, “So why don’t you explain why exactly you might need a saintess, hmm?”
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Aryana traded glances with Fana and the older girl just shrugged. Well then. “Umm, well I need Eva’s help because…”
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Sophie deftly manoeuvred her blade against the training dummy once again. Hitting the ‘arms’, torso, ‘legs’ and head in quick succession. Without prompting, she pivoted back and forth, dodging the incoming blows that would’ve been launched against her in response. She slowed slightly as she parried an attack and quickly seized the advantage to launch a devastating counter act; thrusting, stabbing, and slashing against the target. Sweat dripped from her brow and her entire body felt clammy and gross. A dull ache built up within her muscles but she persevered, unwilling to surrender.
She reset her position about two feet away and stood still, observing her opponent and the routine that she used against it. She managed to visualise each step within her mind and tried to refine it, to optimize her movements to best defeat ad survive her enemy. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her forehead with her sleeve and readjusted her armour’s straps, ensuring they were still secured but flexible. With a dissatisfied sigh, she scowled at her own inadequacies and leapt forward into another bout.
She did not know how long she had been practicing, only that her control had been impeccable, every strike or blow landing just a hair’s width away from actually hitting the dummy. Protecting it from deep cuts whilst also avoiding damaging her own blade. Her renewed attack saw her launching a flurry of rapid but precise strikes against the target, dodging sideways and launching another flurry before sidestepping. She imagined Taurox instructing her on how to act and how the minotaur insisted she could be faster, more precise, and more reactive. She parried another blow and thrusted before immediately backstepping, putting distance between her and her target. Without waiting for a response, she lunged forward, using her momentum to slam herself against the target before letting her blade catch up and strike at the jugular.
Sophie delivered a hearty kick against the target’s weaker regions and used the blow to push herself back, resetting her position and that of the targets. The dance had reached a new crescendo and she threw herself back into the fray. Stab, dodge, thrust, dodge, stab, dodge, slash, dodge. Again and again she channeled her emotions to power her forward, cutting them off when it came to delivering a blow and getting up close against the target. It was as Taurox had taught her; to use her emotions of rage and justice to sustain her, but to not let it disrupt her technique.
Her hands too became weapons on their own as she threw in punches and pushes between her strikes. She vented her frustration within every hit, her knuckles burning with the contact but she powered on through. The talks she had yesterday with Miraevie had been somehow more vexing than she had anticipated. She knew that humans had lingering bad memories of the elven occupation but also that the elves just saw her as someone outside of the bloodline. Yet, to have it be so blatantly confirmed somehow hurt all the more. Still, she needed to thank Miraevie, the elf had at least been courteous enough to chat with her and also respectful enough to remain honest.
No, that’s a lie. She scowled as ducked and pulled back from her position, reassuming a combat stance. Her breathing slowled as she tried to concentrate, analyzing the situation and coming with with another scenario for herself to practice.
Of course it’s a lie. We both know it. You're using it to hide your true emotions. A fake enemy so that you don't have to think.
Hearing the voice once more, Sophie launched into a far more viscous and rapid attack. A simmering anger filled her every stroke. Each time her blade moved, it delivered a killing blow. She still stopped just short of hitting the target, but with the slight trembling of her hands and body, she wasn’t sure how long she could keep it up.
You can ignore me all you want but you know it’s true. I told you as much last time.
Sophie froze, besides the training dummy a much more nonchalant version of herself leaned against it, giving her a cheeky wink before vanishing the moment she blinked. Wha-what do you want?! She demanded of it, pulling back and standing with a stance that allowed her quick movements if necessary. What do you want?!
What do I want? I want you to realize that something’s wrong.
Like what?! Everything’s going wrong for me right now! Sophie snarled and sheathed her blade, using her fists to pummel where the apparition stood. I know that much! But even throughout her rage filled assault, her body moved instinctively, maintaining her distance and ensuring her footing was firm and proper. There was a dark joy that conjoined itself amidst the anger, a sense of relief at finally being able to let loose. Just tell me! What do you want from me?!
The apparition dodged every blow she threw at it, occasionally vanishing before reappearing to her left and right, always with a smirk on its face. I want what you want darling. It ducked under a blow before reappearing right behind her, I just want us to be well again, to be happy. It whispered ominously into her ear.
I am happy! Sophie desperately wailed, pivoting away from the apparition only for it to vanish again. I am happy here.
Are you really? What about dearest Evaline? Who left us behind. Or little Aryana, slowly finding her place amongst the people, and away from us.
That’s… that’s…. It’s fine. If that’s Aryana’s path then that’s fine. Knowing that I could bring them peace or help them along is more than enough. I’ve done my part.
Have you really? It grinned mischievously, tauntingly so. You have to face the truth at some point, dear. You can’t just bottle this all up.
That’s none of your business! Sophie threw a heavy punch, this time smacking into the training dummy, leaving a stinging sensation on her fists. I’m dealing with it!
If you say so. But then what about what the elf told us? You wouldn’t usually be so upset by something so trivial.
Oh really? I wouldn't be? Fine. Then why don't you tell me why I'm upset! Sophie roared and slammed into the apparition only for it to disappear and reveal the training dummy behind it. She was too committed to stop herself and rammed against it only for the firmness of the target to knock all the wind out of her lungs, sending her collapsing to the ground. Tell me, what should I be upset by, if not that? She wearily got back up to her feet, looking over and unsheathing her sword once more.
You already know. You feel it don’t you? That little, itty bitty feeling that you hide away. The seed of doubt that never quite ever went away.
Sophie did a small breathing exercise to calm herself, admonishing herself for forgetting Taurox’s rule of not letting emotions be the striking force.
You don’t want to be alone, Sophie. We, don’t want to be along. To be left behind, unwanted, unneeded. And everything feels like its just… slipping from our grasp. You… we’re not happy, Sophie.
Sophie did not reply and just readied her blade, dropping into her practice routine once more but with a renewed fury behind every movement.
It feels familiar doesn’t it? And it’s such a horrible, horrible feeling.
She deftly dodged, parried and attacked once more, turning the steps of battle into a more rhythmic dance as she continued. With every swing and blow, she could feel that dull throbbing within her that tried to escape. The confirmation of the apparition’s words, a fear she did not want to admit.
But fine, if you’re going to be that stubborn then what about this? There’s more than that at stake, darling. You’re not well, in fact, you’re very unwell.
She thrusted the blade at the dummy’s head and just barely allowed the tip of her sword to tickle the rounded wooden face. Hearing nothing from the apparition, she grunted and stepped back, waiting. So? What do you mean by that? Her breathing grew a little more laboured as she waited, fatigue taking over where anger once was.
Don’t you feel it? How… itchy… you’ve been feeling? Like you can’t sit still, like you have to keep moving. It licked its lips. Like we have to keep fighting? Because I feel it right now, you know. The blood pumping in our veins, the desire to keep going, the sheer joy we finally get to feel as your hand swung the blade.
Get to the point.
We’re breaking Sophie. We’re breaking bit by bit.
Breaking?
Didn’t our last meeting make you think? Make you wonder? We’ve spent our entire lives together through nightmares, horrors, and the devils within. Yet, you’ve never once had hallucinations this vivid, so much so that it's eating away at your sanity. I mean look behind you, or have you forgotten? You’re scaring the instructors. It flicked Sophie’s ear, gotten quite a crowd too.
Sophie jolted back to awareness at once, having completely forgotten that she had to have staff supervision just to enter to this with a proper weapon. Not only that, but two Guardians were present as well as a training instructor. Yet in the midst of her practice her mind had simply erased them from perception given that they were willing to give her some space. Until now.
With exhaustion now fully catching up, she turned and her face turned to one of horror. Besides the staff that were supposed to be there; she counted three students who looked to have been training; an old looking priest; a templar; and an extra Guardian. Her despair climbed to new heights when she also spied an awestruck Aryana clinging onto a tall girl. It was a gut wrenching sight and she couldn’t help but feel even more defeated than before. Only for her eyes to land on the final person looking at her. Eva.
What do I do? She pleaded with a whimper. Only a deafening silence answered her and the gazes of the crowd awaited her. Internally driving herself to a full blown panic at the sudden development. All she could do was to sheathe her sword and quietly wrap her school robes around her sweat covered armor. She turned back to the training dummy, hoping that everyone would just disperse, but no footsteps sounded. Please leave me alone.
Then there was a clap, then two, then a series of hands clapped. She instinctively turned around and curtsied, making an effort to meet no one’s gaze. They broke out into hushed whispers and praise. For a moment Sophie felt a minute sense of elation replace the fear.
I’ll leave you alone, came a haunting whisper in the wind. Sophie’s heart froze and time slowed down once again. But I’ll leave you with this little tid bit since we do happen to be quite daft. The apparition cackled. We’re breaking, literally.
What do you mean?
Don’t you remember why you, we’re, special? We can’t die, not in the way normal people see it as. For as long as there is mana…
I can regenerate.
Precisely, but the reason you can…?
Is because of… the void… Hold on. Are you implying something’s happening to the void?
It makes me overjoyed to know that we’re smart enough to infer most of the facts. But not quite. Something happening to the void? As if the Entity would ever let that pass. No, dear Sophie, something’s happening to us. We’re getting broken apart.
We… I’m being broken apart?
Correct. We’re beings of the void. But have you noticed? We haven’t seen hide nor hair of the entity. No dreams, nightmares, messages, creepy voices in our heads. It’s been months, we’re breaking apart at the seams.
Realisation dawned at the apparition’s words and Sophie could feel her body trembling, almost as if actively thinking about it had caused it to manifest. I’m breaking… because… because we haven’t made contact. Haven’t had exposure to the void. And since it… changed me…
Exactly, now we are the void and the void is us. It welcomed the conclusion with outstretched arms. It is the glue that binds this form together. But that glue is disappearing, and without it…
I’ll just disappear.
Which means?
I can’t wait around anymore, is what you’re saying. That if I do, then I die.
The apparition just grinned and whispered one last phrase that burrowed deep into her soul, We must bring back the stolen dawn. It cackled and vanished.
Terrified, Sophie tried to refocus on the world around her but the words rang far too loudly in her head. The towers, I need to get to the tower. Or a relic? The expedition! That might buy me some time, but how… why is it all so loud?! I can’t think! I need to think!
“Sophie?”
“Sophie are you alright?”
“Ma’am.”
Noise, too much noise. Her heart rate raced upwards in panic. Her unfocused eyes tried to look at the people around her, their faces blurring into one save for the figure in front of her.
“Sophie, you don’t look so good.” Aryana whispered.
Sophie tried to reassure the redhead but words wouldn’t leave her mouth. She felt her brain tearing itself apart. Her body seizing up as she wheezed in a desperate attempt to break free. Before she could even move, the pain, exhaustion and panic exploded all at once. The last thing she saw was the ceiling, and the apparition taunting her with a smirk.