Thea

“Is that even possible? I could be a celestial again?” I took a step back as what Kai just said actually hit me.

“Sure!” she answered before clarifying. “Well, sort of. It’s actually kind of complicated, and it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but it would undo nearly all the bad parts about being a devil. Like, take La’akea for example. You ate sandwiches with her when you visited, remember?” I nodded, because of course I remembered. “Well, she fell when her dad died, and I stepped in to stop her after she leveled an entire kingdom. Now, she’s just the cutest little angel.”

I had seen La’akea in her dragon form, and nothing about her was ‘little.’ But she had been super nice, even while I was technically trying to kill her.

“Um, excuse me.” Sami stepped forward from where she had basically been hiding a little way down the hall. “I know it’s none of my business, but if Thea were to become one of your celestials, then would she have to leave with you?” Her eyes went wide as I leapt at her, but she didn’t even fight the hug. In fact, she pulled me in tighter when I didn’t let go. “I’m sorry about the captain.”

“Yeah, me too, and you don’t have to worry. I’m not leaving you, no matter what.”

“Good.” Sami squeezed me even tighter, and I did the same to her.

“Nobody said you have to leave them,” Kai interrupted our moment, and I let Sami go in order to face her. “I’ll just have you guard my paladin or something. Besides, it’s not like any of my celestials listen to me, anyway. You can basically just do whatever the hell you want.”

“You saying that is probably why they don’t listen,” Chorus pointed out, much to Es’s amusement. Kai just ignored them both.

“Well? Do you want it or not?” she asked. “I don’t mind offering because you’re Es’s friend and my paladin asked for it, but I’m not going to beg you.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll pass. Celestial life didn’t really suit me the first time around, and I doubt that’s changed.”

“Sure, fair enough.” Kai shrugged. “If you change your mind, then just tell my paladin or my ex, or my, uh, child?” She looked towards Es, who let out a heavy sigh.

“Son.”

“Right, my son.” She nodded like it was some great victory before turning back towards me. “Like it or not, you’re probably stuck with me for a while. At least for as long as you continue to stick around my people.”

“Maybe you could stick around your own people for a change,” Es commented, which earned him a glare from the goddess.

“Anyway. We’re going to go now so that we can have a family discussion about nobody telling me when my son trans-ed his gender. Paladin, I’ll hook you up to the system when I get back home, alright? You might feel a little tingly for a while.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t forget,” Es added before the three of them disappeared. Which left Sami, Softie, and me all awkwardly standing in the engineering hallway.

“Sora, why was Kai calling you a paladin?” Sami asked. “Also, why were there just two freaking gods standing in the middle of my corridors?”

“It’s kind of complicated.” Softie paused to think of a good way to explain things, and I used that as an opportunity to jump in.

“Es tricked Kai into thinking Chorus was going to make Softie a paladin, and Kai really doesn’t like to lose followers. So, she offered to make them a double paladin if they stayed.”

“What does that even mean?” Sami asked the obvious question, and I just shrugged.

“Don’t know. She didn’t know either, and it is Kai, so I’d give it equal odds that she either forgets about it entirely, or, like, accidentally blows us all up somehow.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re back, Thea. Let me know if Kai blows us up.” Sami turned to leave, but Softie stopped her before she could.

“Wait, I can’t feel any of Thea’s siblings on the ship. Did Ithnaa take them all to Akresh?”

“No, she took Aurora and Sanya right after you left with Chorus, like two days ago. Then yesterday, she took Leila and Suriel back to Paradise. We’re heading there to meet them now.”

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“Two days ago?” Softie asked, then looked towards me. “Is this more Elysian bullshit? I thought time moved faster there.”

“It's not faster, it’s just weird. Remember when I was trapped in Kai’s domain? That was like two days for me, and more than a week for you guys.”

“Great. Let’s try to avoid these sorts of trips in the future, okay?”

I laughed. “Softie, you’re a paladin now. Or you will be, if Kai actually remembers to make you one.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Sami asked, and I wasn’t exactly sure how to explain it.

“Okay, it’s like this, Clerics and priests are kind of like PR people. They gather followers to a goddess and make sure her afterlife keeps filling up. Paladins, on the other hand, are like weapons or tools or whatever. Anytime a problem pops up that the goddess doesn’t want to deal with herself, and she can’t send a celestial for whatever reason, she sends a paladin instead.”

“Which means I’m going to be at Kai’s beck and call?”

“Exactly,” I confirmed. “Dad’s paladins were in and out of his afterlife all the time. Real zealot types who loved dropping everything just for a two-minute face-to-face with the big guy.”

“But Sora isn’t like that,” Sami pointed out, and I hesitated.

“Kai isn’t like that either,” Softie added. “She herself just admitted that her celestials aren’t even expected to do what she says. Why would her paladins be any different?”

“That’s… fair. I guess it’s probably going to be different with Kai…” I trailed off, and Softie raised an eyebrow at me.

“You’re regretting not letting her turn you back into a celestial, aren’t you?”

“No!” I responded, maybe a little too forcefully, but then I continued in a more reasonable voice. “No, I’m seriously not. I didn’t fit in with my family super well, but I’m not as chaotic as everyone always seems to think that I am. I’m worried that if I joined Kai as one of her celestials, then it would change me. I’d lose the last bit of myself that connected me back to my family. It’s just not something that I want to risk.”

“I understand,” Sami said, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

“You do?”

“Sure, you’re kind of impulsive, but you’re also completely obsessed with keeping the ship clean, and I’ve never seen you more annoyed than when somebody messes with your ‘system’ in the kitchen.” Softie gave her a look, and she rolled her eyes before correcting herself. “Okay, I’ve never seen you more non-violently annoyed. Honestly, I don’t think you’d be a good fit for Kai at all. Maybe you should ask whoever the god of order is. He might accept you.”

I laughed. “Thanks, Sami, but I probably wouldn’t go that far, and the god of order is actually a goddess. Her name is Zesh.”

“Why haven’t we heard of her?” Softie asked.

“Don’t know. She’s been doing it for at least as long as I’ve been alive, although she did kind of drop off the grid after dad died. How old are you again?”

“Not that old,” Sami answered.

“Do you two have any idea how weird it is for me to be the oldest person in the room?” I asked, but they just looked at each other. “Nevermind. What’s the plan now? You said we were heading back to Paradise, right? Are we becoming pirates?”

“I don’t know exactly what Ithnaa is planning,” Sami admitted. “She still wants to go after Mother, but she didn’t explain how.”

“I just sent her a message—”

Ithnaa appeared nearby, cutting off whatever softie was about to say. “Sora, Thea, I’m glad you’re safe. Did Samira explain the situation?”

“As much as I could, but you didn’t exactly tell me everything.”

“That’s fair. I’d like to go after Mother, and it didn’t seem like much of a stretch to assume you three would like the same thing.”

“Oh, I’d be more than happy to kill her,” Softie said. “But we need to make sure it doesn’t end the same way as last time.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Ithnaa agreed. “Bryce’s name still carries the same weight on Paradise. I’d like to leverage that, to build a fleet, and go after Mother. Her powers aren’t going to mean nearly as much with her compound exploding around her.”

“That may not be entirely necessary,” I cut in. “Bryce wasn’t able to tell me much, but she said that the spell might have worked. If it did, then we won’t actually have to do anything, and Mother will just die on her own.”

“And if it didn’t?” Softie asked.

“Um, if it didn’t, then she’s going to come after us with everything she has, and we’re probably going to have to run for the rest of our lives.”

Ithnaa paused to think for a moment, before shaking her head. “If that’s the case, then I’d like to go forward with my plan. If the spell worked, then we don’t have to worry about it, but if it didn’t, then we’re not dead in the water. Plus, there’s no way I’m ever going back to being a Syndicate lord. This seems like the next best thing for me.”

“That’s awfully honest of you.”

She nodded at my observation. “It is, but as sad as it may sound, I consider you one of my closest friends, and I care about Sora and Samira. I’m not about to pull any of you into something like this without telling you exactly why I’m doing it.”

“Well, I’m convinced.” Softie shrugged. “So, what’s the next step? After we get back to Paradise, I mean.”

“We’re going to approach the council, build a base of operations, and eventually assault Mother’s compound.”

“We’re going to build our own pirate fleet, then use it to avenge Bryce?” I grinned ear-to-ear. “That sounds like a plan I can get behind.”

“I thought you would approve.” Ithnaa chuckled. “Now, unless you three had other plans, I was hoping to spend the night getting way too drunk.”

“I’ll make the drinks,” Softie said as they made a bee-line for the exit.