Thea

Bryce tensed when I leaned against her shoulder, probably expecting a wave of pain. When there wasn’t one, she relaxed and put an arm around me to pull me in closer. I had snuck up next to her on the couch while she was super focused on whatever she had been reading.

“You were gone when I woke up and I panicked. I thought you coming back had just been a dream.”

She pulled me in tighter before leaning over to steal a kiss. “Sorry, I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake you.” I looked up at her with a sleepy glare, and she chuckled. “Right. I’ll wake you up next time.”

“Good.” I moved off her shoulder to rest my head in her lap, then hummed in appreciation when she started running her fingers through my hair. She went back to reading, and we stayed like that for nearly half an hour before I finally spoke again. “Was it a nightmare?”

She sat down her data-pad and let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, it was.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Not right now.”

“Okay. I’m here if you change your mind.” I wiggled a bit to snuggle in closer and then smiled as she went back to running her fingers through my hair.

“I know, and thank you.”

“What were you reading, anyway?”

“Ithnaa downloaded Captain Penn’s message onto a data-pad along with the intel from Aoyama about the rest of the council. I was just going over it.”

“Yeah? What do you think?”

“I think I inherited the worst possible sector.”

“You killed the goblin captain. You had to know that his sector would be full of goblins.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t exactly thinking that far ahead. Dimitri was just acting like an ass, and I was in too much pain to deal with him diplomatically.”

“I don’t know. That definitely felt pretty diplomatic to me.” I chuckled, but then she flicked my ear. “Ouch. Rude.”

“That’s not the sort of captain I want to be. Hells, I still haven’t even fully processed the fact that I’m officially a pirate captain now. It just sounds so absurd.”

“Um, excuse me?” I turned to lie on my back and look up at her. “Babe, you’re a pirate queen now. Not just a captain. Plus, you kind of already have that sort of reputation.”

“And what sort of reputation is that, exactly?”

“The sort of reputation that comes with being a ruthless, unstoppable, badass bitch? Obviously.”

She shook her head and laughed in disbelief. “I definitely don’t feel like any of that.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you threatened one of the oldest members of the council to her face, killed a mercenary just to order her resurrected in the middle of a crowded bar, led an assault on one of the most powerful freelance captains on Paradise, and then defied the gods to come back to life after ambushing Mother.”

“Those first two were definitely you, and nobody could possibly know that I did any god defying.”

“Well, nobody except the entire council of kings who were told by Ithnaa that you were super dead in Tess’s afterlife and never coming back. Plus, I absolutely didn’t order Suriel to heal Anali. That one is completely on you.”

“Okay, maybe I can see how I might have gotten a bit of a reputation.”

I shrugged before suddenly cracking up in laughter. “Oh, gods. I just realized that you’re going to be stuck with Dimitri’s throne in the council meetings until you get your own. That’s going to be great for your reputation.”

“Wait, they seriously have thrones?”

“Yep, and Dimitri’s is, or was, literally just a pile of skulls.”

“That can’t be comfortable. Or sanitary.”

“Probably not, but you have to admit, it is pretty badass.”

“You mean ridiculous and impractical?”

“Eh, that’s basically the same thing, like ninety percent of the time.”

“Fair enough, but I think I’m still going to prioritize meeting with Milohsh as soon as possible. According to Captain Penn’s information, they’re in charge of council meetings. I hope that includes procuring a throne. Otherwise, I have no idea what I’ll do…” she trailed off for a moment before shaking her head and glaring down at me. “They seriously use thrones? You aren’t messing with me?”

I placed a hand on my chest and put the other in the air. “Honest to the gods, I swear it on my black heart. Every member of the council was sitting on a throne during the meeting I was at. Oh, except that one dude who never shows up in person. He was kind of just floating in the air, but it did look like he had a throne that wasn’t showing up in the hologram.”

“That’s Takishi, right? He voted against going to war, if I remember correctly.”

I pulled the comforter tighter around myself and wiggled a bit to get comfortable on Bryce’s lap before nodding. “Yeah, and he tried to have me removed during the meeting.”

“That definitely wasn’t in Penn’s notes. Why’d he do that?”

“Because he has a ‘strenuous relationship with the truth’ and he didn’t like it when I called him out for lying. Fiona also voted to have me removed, but it was just those two. After that, Milohsh asked me to report all lies no matter who was doing it, and I agreed because holy shit, they are terrifying.”

“Are they? I wouldn’t expect them to be much different from Doctor Phaylex and you liked her, didn’t you?”

“Of course. I mean, she brought Es back from the dead. Plus, literally everyone loves her. She’s very lovable. But this is totally different. I mean, Lexi is an adorable little worm and only takes over dead people. The people Milohsh take are all still alive, plus there’s a rumor that they’re awake the entire time. That’s terrifying.”

“Okay, maybe that is a lot worse. How about we make a point not to piss off Milohsh?”

“Yeah, duh. That’s what I’ve been trying to say this whole time.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and she did the same to me. “What’s the plan, anyway? I mean, for tomorrow.”

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

“I’m still trying to figure that out. First, I should probably meet with Milohsh, and not just because of the issues with the throne. They’re in charge of all the council procedural ongoings as well as all of Paradise’s infrastructure. Both of which Dimitri had very little respect for, and I’ve just inherited the consequences of that with my new sector.”

“So, your meeting with them is going to be about rules and procedures?” I think I must have grimaced, because Bryce laughed when she saw my face.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“No way. I’m not leaving you alone. Especially not with the creepiest person I’ve ever met.”

“My hero.” Bryce leaned down to kiss me, and I pushed myself up to meet her halfway. She broke the kiss, and I dropped back down onto her lap.

“I don’t suppose you’ve made any progress on the contract, have you? Because your hero would feel a whole lot better if she could actually protect you.”

“None. Every contract I’ve tried to write so far has been even worse than the first. Hells, one would have even had you asking my permission to breathe every fifteen seconds.”

“Damn. What about your other magic? Is that at least working?”

“Well, anything related to my new talent does, but nothing that requires a spell. I don’t think Kai’s mana is able to override what Tess did to me.”

“I’m seriously starting to get tired of the gods messing with us. Next time one of them shows up, we should just tell them to fuck right off. But, like, politely, so Softie doesn’t try to kill us.”

Bryce chuckled, but it sounded more pained than amused. “Unfortunately, I think it’s going to be a while until we have that option.”

“Well, the moment we do, I vote we ignore the gods for at least the next two thousand years.”

“I can get on board with that,” she agreed, but then frowned at me. “Wait, does that mean you’re going to start ignoring me if I become a goddess?”

“Of course not. That would imply I ever listened to you in the first place.” I grinned up at her, and she laughed. This time actually meaning it.

“Oh, please, we both know you’re not capable of ignoring me.”

“Do we? Princess, I think Mother bringing you back from the dead might have gone to your head a bit,” I joked, but then panicked when Bryce grimaced. “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“It’s fine, Thea. Really, it is. I just got so caught up in Paradise politics, and then our conversation, that I nearly forgot about what Mother did to me.”

“And then, like a careless idiot, I reminded you of the whole thing. I’m so sorry, Bryce.”

“Please, don’t be sorry. It was nice to be able to forget about it for a little while, and you being here definitely helped.” She was smiling, but her smile was obviously hiding a lot of pain, and I was kicking myself for being so careless. Which lasted all the way up until she flicked me in the forehead.

“Ouch! Rude.” It didn’t actually hurt, but I hadn’t been expecting her to do it out of nowhere.

“Stop feeling sorry for me.”

“I wasn’t. I was just feeling sorry around you. It’s different. If anything, I was feeling sorry for me.” She definitely wasn’t buying it, so I gave up with a sigh. “Okay, yeah, I was feeling sorry for you, but in my defense, it was only because you won’t talk to me about what you went through. So, the only other thing I can feel is angry at Mother, and I really don’t want to be angry right now. Not while I’m using your lap as a pillow.”

“I told you that I don’t want to talk about that.” Her voice sounded small and vulnerable. Not at all like she was angry. It felt like she was saying that if I pressed the issue, then she would tell me about it, but was begging me not to at the same time.

“I know you did, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to before you’re ready, but just please don’t cut me out. I don’t think that’s something I could survive… not again.” I hadn’t meant for her to hear that last part, but she definitely had, and I could see the shame of it in her eyes. I wanted to take it back, or apologize, or at least qualify what I said to make it hurt less. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew it was selfish, but I was hurt, and a part of me needed her to know. Even if it was just going to compound the pain she was already feeling.

“Thea, I… I’m sorry. There was no way for me to contact you before I chose to go to Tess’s afterlife. Otherwise I would have. Hells, I had to beg Reiki for even the short time we had together. Anything longer would have given Mother time to resurrect me.”

“But she did resurrect you, and even then you asked Lilith for help. Which means you trusted her more than us. More than me.” Bryce was getting kind of blurry, so I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry. You made it clear you don’t want to talk about this, and here I am bringing it up, anyway. I’m just going to go to bed, okay?”

I started to stand, but she reached out and grabbed my shoulder before I could. “No, it’s not okay. This entire time I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted so I wouldn’t have to think about what happened, and I haven’t even stopped for long enough to consider that I wasn’t the only one hurt.”

“Bryce, no. If you’re not ready to talk about it, then I’d rather wait. Besides, I can always just sneak raisins into your breakfast or something to deal with my feelings.”

“Look, Thea, we can’t keep playing the self-sacrifice card or we’re both going to end up dead. At a certain point, we’re going to have to start looking out for ourselves. Even if it’s just for the sake of the other person. Besides, your revenge plot isn’t going to work because I actually really like raisins.”

“First of which, the whole raisin thing is a deal breaker. There’s no way I can be in a relationship with a dirty raisin lover,” I joked, and after Bryce half-smiled, I went back to being serious. “Secondly… I really hate that you’re right. Or maybe it’s just that the idea of not taking care of another person before myself makes me uncomfortable, but either way, I still know that you’re right. So, fine, let’s talk about it, but if at any point it gets to be too much then please just say so. If for no other reason than for me.”

“Agreed, and for what it’s worth, I think if we avoid talking about the nightmares, then I’m going to be okay. So, let’s just start with the trust issues. That’s probably going to be the most important part, anyway.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll go first.” I took a deep breath, and then after a few moments of Bryce patiently waiting for me to organize my feelings into actually useful thoughts, I continued. “I don’t blame you for choosing to go to Tess’s afterlife, or for not discussing it with me first. I know you would have if you could, which I appreciate because it really was your decision to make and we both know I would’ve just begged you to tough it out and let us try to rescue you. Which I had no right to do.” Bryce shifted uncomfortably like she wanted to say something, so I hesitantly paused my explanation. “What is it?”

“I didn’t choose to go to Tess’s afterlife because I was afraid of what Mother would do to me. I did it because I knew that as long as I was still alive, you would come for me, and I would rather be dead than risk both of us being captured by her.”

“I think I’m starting to see the issue with the whole self-sacrifice thing,” I joked, which earned me an apologetic smile from Bryce. “Okay, then I’m telling you right now that I will always want to rescue you, no matter how risky it is. So, if, gods forbid, this ever happens again, then at least give me a chance.”

“No.” She didn’t even hesitate, which left me stunned, and gave her time to explain. “I’m sorry, Thea, but not if it’s Mother. Please, I need you to understand. I just… I can’t.”

I wanted so desperately to argue, but one look in her eyes and I knew I couldn’t. “Okay, not if it’s Mother.”

She lunged at me and crushed me in one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever had. “Thank you, Thea.”

“Wait, don’t hug me. I haven’t made my ultimatum yet.” I tried to wiggle free, but it was hopeless. “Seriously, babe, it’s getting kind of hard to breathe.”

She quickly let go of me and apologized. “We really need to get this contract figured out, don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do, but first, can I please make my ultimatum?”

“Sorry.” Bryce moved back a bit on the couch, then nodded at me. “Okay, make your ultimatum.”

“I’ll agree to your terms, but only if you promise me right now that if anybody other than Mother somehow gets ahold of you, then you’ll do everything you can to either escape or make it easier for me to rescue you. And also, I want to be your first celestial when you finally become a goddess.” I added that last condition in on a whim, but saying it out loud only reinforced how badly I wanted it.

“Is that actually possible?”

“I mean, Kai said it was, and one of her celestials is a dragon. So, probably? I don’t know. Either way, you still need to make that promise.”

“Right, yeah. Of course, I’ll make you a celestial if I can.”

“And the other thing?”

She nodded seriously before lifting a hand into the air. “I hereby swear that if I’m ever taken by someone who isn’t Mother, then I’ll do everything in my power to either escape on my own, or make it easier for me to be rescued.”

“By me?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she chuckled before agreeing.

“By you.”

“Good. Now, can we finally go back to bed? I’m seriously exhausted.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” Bryce pushed herself off the couch before leaning over and scooping me up in a single fluid motion.

“Whoa, wait, babe, the blanket.” She dipped me down lower, and I grabbed the comforter off the couch before pointing up towards our bedroom. “Okay, got it. Onward!”