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A Guide to Becoming a Pirate Queen
Imperative - 01 - First thing first

Imperative - 01 - First thing first

Thea

“Bryce!” I scrambled to my feet and rushed over to latch onto my newly not dead girlfriend. She flinched, then tensed up before carefully returning my hug. I quickly separated to look her over. I didn’t see any blood, but she was wearing a weird red uniform that I didn’t recognize. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

“It’s a long and miserable story, but the short version is that Mother gave me a potion that makes everything painful, and it hasn’t worn off yet,” she explained, but before I could actually process what she said I was pulled back into a tight hug. “I missed you so much, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for putting you through all of this.”

I pushed her away once I realized what she had said. “I missed you, too, but stop hugging me if it hurts, and how did Mother give you anything? The whole reason you went to Tess’s afterlife was so that she couldn’t get to you.”

“Yeah, that didn’t work.”

“Obviously not if you’re here now.” I looked around and finally recognized my bedroom in Lilith’s house. I then noticed that something pretty major was missing. “Why are we in Hel, and where’s the circle you used to summon me? This isn’t a dream, is it?” I started pinching my own cheeks, but Bryce reached forward to stop me with a chuckle.

“No, this isn’t a dream, and we’re in Hel because Tess can’t get to me here. As for the summoning circle, there isn’t one. I don’t need to use them anymore.”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t need to use them’? And why are you hiding from Tess?” I asked, more than a little shocked. “Actually, you know what? Let’s just start from the beginning. This seems like a lot.”

“It is a lot, and yeah, starting from the beginning is probably a good idea, but do you mind if we go downstairs and grab a bowl of cereal or something first? My body hasn’t eaten since before Mother killed me, and I’m pretty sure I skipped lunch that day.”

“Your body hasn’t?” I gave her a questioning look over the weird phrasing, and she nodded.

“Yeah, I technically had a sandwich in Tess’s afterlife, but I don’t think it carried over.”

“Wait, seriously? Was it any good?” Obviously, souls didn’t need to eat, and from everything I knew about Tess, she was pragmatic to a fault. So, her having sandwiches in her afterlife was the last thing I expected.

“It was amazing, and thinking about it now has only made me more hungry. So…?”

“Right, food,” I agreed as I led the way out of my bedroom. “But not cereal. There’s no way I’m letting that be your first meal after coming back to life.”

“I knew summoning you was the right decision,” she laughed, and I reveled in the sound that a mere ten minutes ago, I thought I would never have the chance to hear again.

“Damn right it was, and don’t you ever forget it.” I rushed down the hall and to the top of the stairs as Bryce followed at a much more reasonable pace. “Babe, you’re not here by yourself, are you? Where is everyone?”

“Lilith was here for a little while, but had to run back to Hades to deal with the fallout from my escape. Rose said she was babysitting some demon nobility, but I’m not entirely sure what she meant by that, and I haven’t seen Esme around.”

“Oh, Esme is going by Es now. He’s probably still in Hades with his dad.”

Bryce narrowed her eyes as she finally caught up with me. “And I’m sure you’re not taking credit for that at all.”

“I may have cracked the egg a little, but Es hatched all on his own.” I gave her my most innocent smile, but she still shook her head in disbelief.

“Well, good for him. I hope it makes him happy.”

“Yeah, he’s definitely happier from what I’ve seen,” I answered as I continued down the stairs, but then shouted back over my shoulder as I reached the bottom. “Hells, maybe now he’ll actually be able to find a partner, because he seriously sucked at dating as a woman.”

“Ouch. Why does it hurt more knowing that it’s true?” Es asked, and I spun around to see him smiling at the top of the stairs.

“Okay, I'm not apologizing for that. Bryce told me you weren’t here.”

“In my defense, I didn’t know he was, and it’s not like I would have recognized him if I had.” Bryce looked him over with a coy smile. “Please tell me you’re not into women now, because I definitely don’t need the competition.”

“I’m not, so you can relax.” Es smiled back at her. “Besides, I’m still paying for the last time I tried to take Thea from you. So, it’s going to be at least a few months before I try again.”

“Good, because I’ve already lost a lot of time with her and I’d rather not waste more of it having to resurrect you.”

“Alright, you two, stop flirting. Bryce still needs food,” I interrupted, and then continued to interrupt when they both shouted at me. “Okay, okay, you weren’t flirting, but seriously, Bryce needs food and I still don’t know what the hells happened to her. So, if you want to continue this conversation, you can do it from the kitchen.”

I turned to walk away and heard the two of them follow me down the stairs with barely any grumbling.

~~~~~

“Then I used the artifact to open a portal to Hel, and we just walked through.” Bryce sat her fork down as she finished her explanation. Our selection of elf food was limited, but thankfully, she had always been pretty flexible with her diet.

So, I had just grabbed a frozen bag of bone-in meat and fried it up with a simple sauce to create something that was kind of like, but definitely wasn’t, chicken wings. Unfortunately, the sauce had been a mistake. Not because it had been too hot or spicy or anything. It was just too messy.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Bryce would flinch when anything touched her skin, and after the second time of her grimacing while having to wipe her hands with a napkin, I forced her to start using a fork. Holding it obviously still hurt, but at least she could set it down when it started to be too much.

“Where’s the changeling now?” Es asked, bringing me back into the conversation and giving me even more things to worry about.

“Rose didn’t trust Marcel to be on her own while I worked on summoning Thea. So, she insisted she help with the demon nobility.”

Es nodded while he seemed to consider something. “That makes sense. Honestly, you’re lucky she didn’t kill her outright. Hells, she might still do it if she thinks Marcel is somehow connected to the fey courts.”

Bryce shook her head. “I doubt it would come to that. Marcel was raised by Suhali on the mortal plane. I can’t imagine she has any connection to the courts. Besides, Rose still owes me from the incident with my mana, so she’s not going to want to make that worse by hurting someone under my protection.”

I perked up at the mention of the dryad. “Actually, that’s a good point. You should try to cash in that favor with Rose to get her to heal whatever bullshit Mother did to you.”

“That was the second thing I asked for that she wasn’t able to do. Apparently, whatever potion Mother gave me isn’t something that can be healed. At least, not by a dryad.”

Es furrowed his brow. “If that was the second thing you asked for, then what was the first?”

“I didn’t want to wait to summon Thea.” Bryce smiled at me before letting out a defeated breath. “But whatever terms are allowing Rose to stay in Hel prevent her from lying to Lilith. I could have tried to argue that hiding her wouldn’t have been lying, but since Lilith would be the one to arbitrate any dispute, it didn’t seem worth the effort.”

“Aw babe!” I rounded the kitchen island to hug my girlfriend, but stopped just short and balled up my fists in frustration. “We need to get this fixed. Like now.”

“What about Suriel?” Es asked. “With Thea’s father gone, he’s probably one of the best healers alive. If he can’t fix it, then I doubt anyone could.”

“Oh! That’s a good—” I froze mid-sentence as I remembered what was going on right before I got summoned. “Shit. Suriel. Bryce, you need to send a message to Sami and ask her not to blow up their ship.”

“Thea, what in the hells happened while I was gone?” Bryce asked, but a small green circle of light appeared over her upturned palm before I had a chance to respond. That was new, but I figured it probably meant she was casting the messaging spell. She let out a relieved sigh a few moments later. “Okay, Samira was obviously surprised to hear from me, but she promised to keep the self-destruct paused until we get back. Now, could you please answer my question?”

“Sorry, but before we get into what you’ve missed, are you actually planning on returning to the mortal plane?” Es interrupted, then kept talking before anyone could respond. “From what you’ve explained, Tess can’t get to you in the hells, but the moment you’re within reach, she’s going to force you to return to her afterlife.”

“That’s exactly why Lilith wanted me to wait until she had a chance to talk to me before I summoned Thea.” Bryce leaned forward as she launched into an explanation. “Apparently, if I can ascend before Tess figures out I’m on the mortal plane, then there’s a chance I can convince her to leave me alone. But there are a number of issues that make that plan far from a guarantee.”

“Like what?” I asked, leaning in to match her.

“Like how it hinges on Tess not finding her before she can ascend,” Es pointed out, but Bryce shook her head.

“That’s actually the least of my concerns.” She reached into the top of her shirt to pull out a gold heart-shaped locket, which she opened to reveal a small, nearly transparent, red gem with a black speck of something suspended in the middle of it. “This is a Salacian Shadow Ruby. It’ll stop Tess from finding me until I ascend. After that, though, there’s no hiding from her. So, I need to make sure I have a good excuse as to why she shouldn’t just outright kill me.”

“Fancy. Where’d you get it?” I asked as I leaned in closer to get a better look.

“Lilith is lending it to me on a very temporary basis, and trust me, she’s not doing it for free. I’m going to end up owing her a few dozen favors by the end of all this.”

“You mean ‘we’re going to owe her,’” I corrected. “We’re in this together, babe, and that means your debt is my debt. Besides, I already owe Lilith basically everything after she took me in when I fell, so a few dozen favors on top of that isn’t going to change too much for me.”

Bryce chuckled as she put the locket away. “I figure I’m in the same boat at this point. I doubt there’s much Lilith could ask of me that I wouldn’t immediately agree to.”

“Okay, if that’s not an issue, then what are your actual concerns?” Es asked as he crossed his arms.

“Right now I have two.” She explained while holding up a pair of fingers. “Actually earning the right to ascend, and then convincing Tess that she should let me live. The first is simple enough, although far from easy. I could just kill Mother. Which under other circumstances would mean waiting two hundred years for my spell to take care of her, but hiding from Tess for that long is going to prove difficult, and now that Mother knows about the spell there’s no guarantee that she can’t find a way to prolong her life or maybe even counteract it.”

“What about the second issue?” Es asked.

“That’s the real problem. I don’t exactly know what my previous mantle was, and the only real noteworthy feat I managed while escaping was shattering a devil’s soul. That makes me almost certain that this mantle is related to souls, or even worse, consuming them. Which is going to make it nearly impossible to convince Tess that she shouldn’t kill me. Hells, if I end up with something like ‘mantle of the devourer’, then I’m not even sure I’ll be able to convince myself.”

“Nuh-uh, none of that talk. I just got you back, and there’s no way I’m going to let you give up now.”

“I’m not planning on giving up, I promise, but it was already going to be an uphill battle, and depending on what this mantle is, it might even be impossible.”

“Okay, new plan. If we can’t convince Tess, then let’s just kill her.”

“Thea.” Es gave me a look, but I stood firm.

“I’m serious. Why should she be the one to decide what’s allowed and what isn’t? And besides, gods die all the time. Maybe it’s about time we got ourselves a new goddess of magic.”

“Let’s call that plan C for now,” Bryce responded in a way that made me think she wasn’t actually going to consider my idea, but I let it go. Although, I was planning on bringing it up later when Es wasn’t around.

It wasn’t that I didn’t value his opinion, it’s just that when it came to Bryce’s safety, I wanted to limit the number of people involved who could talk sense into me. Hells, if I could keep Bryce out of the discussion then that would be even better, but that probably wasn’t going to happen. So, I was going to have to settle for trying to convince her.

“Alright, fine, we can talk about this later. We should probably figure out what we’re going to do when we get back, anyway. Like, what’s your plan to kill Mother?”

“Well, step one is actually going to need to be getting back to everyone.” Bryce leaned back on the stool she was sitting on while she tapped her fingers on the countertop. “You were on Paradise, right? Otherwise, Samira probably wouldn’t be able to threaten to blow up your sibling’s ship.”

“Um, yeah, but can’t you just use the circle we made on the Fury to get back? It doesn’t have to be all that complicated.”

“The Fury?” Bryce stopped tapping her fingers to frown at me. “That’s our ship, right?”

“Yes... Babe, why don’t you remember the name of your own ship?” I returned her frown, but she just shook her head and resumed the finger tapping.

“I was worried Mother would be able to force me to tell her how to find Sora and Samira, so I seared any knowledge of the ship from my soul when she started to resurrect me. If there's a teleportation circle there, then I don’t remember how to access it.”

“That’s pretty extreme. Did you remove any other memories?” Es asked.

“No. I didn’t have time. Although, I did try to—” Bryce shot up from her stool with enough force to knock it over backwards and looked between the two of us with a horrified expression. “We need to get back to the mortal plane. Right now.”