Chapter 82 - Recalling the Past

As they approached Heavenly Path Mountain, Yaan realised that he might not have much longer to speak with Rui.

"I've been meaning to ask…How can I awaken you from the ring, given that you seemed to overexert and injure yourself and now you've been sleeping for years?"

Rui immediately listed off what she needed.

"If I'm in a 'deep sleep' then I won't react unless you can find something with enough blood essence or energy to wake me up permanently. Anything too weak and there will be no reaction. Also, if I am totally dormant, you will need to hold the resource against the ring. Given what you described, I think 3 drops of blood essence from a Peak Rank 6 beast should be enough.

Yaan smiled wryly. A Peak Rank 6 beast? No wonder he had been completely unable to rouse her, the requirements to wake her up from her comatosed state were simply too extravagant! It was lucky that when Yaan found Rui originally, she was in a decent state. Thanks to that, after transferring the Fiend Transformation technique to him, she only fell into a normal sleep rather than this 'deep sleep', so she managed to awaken with a small portion of Yuan Qi.

Finally, after an unknown period of arduous travel, they arrived at the foot of Heavenly Path Mountain.

Outside of the illusion world…

Nine individuals stood around the central formation. Five of these figures stared intently, three of whom wore serious expressions. As for the other four, they were unable to see within, but the other five would occasionally narrate the goings on within the illusion.

These figures gathered in the 9th level pagoda when they learned that someone was actually attempting the true-false illusion trial. The trial had lasted and dragged on for too long though, so most became bored and went elsewhere when they realised that Yaan planned to spend a long period of time within. They returned now and then to check on his progress, but it was only now that they showed deep interest.

Now, it seemed that the climax was approaching. They estimated that it would all be over within a few days at most.

"But ignoring everything else, that girl…who is she?" A tall stern looking man rubbed his well groomed black beard as he stared at the formation. An enticing woman played with her tied up red hair as she responded without looking at the man. Her gaze was also fixated on Yaan and Rui, within the world of the illusion.

"Who is to say?" She sighed and shook her head slowly, but showed a look of deep interest as she observed Yaan within.

This man and woman were not trial spirits, yet they were actually permitted to watch Yaan through the formation.

Everyone became silent as the old man responsible for Yaan entering the illusion world stepped forwards and spoke. He stared into the rune, watching as Rui and Yaan casually climbed the mountain, before sighing and shaking his head.

As it turned out, this old man, the same spirit who manned the 1st level pagoda store, was actually the 4th trial spirit, responsible for overseeing the 4th trial! The devil spirit was present too, and whilst he also observed the goings on within the 4th trial, his official role was to manage the inheritance as a whole.

"Regardless, leave her be. She is an anomaly, but remember…an anomaly can only possibly be triggered by the challenger…"

"She seems to understand her position…this woman is truly scheming." The devilish spirit spoke gruffly.

"Hehe, this is getting exiting! Don't you think, right, right?" A young girl looking 9 or 10 years old jumped up and down, her cute purple pig tails swaying slightly. Her eyes shone as she looked around at everyone, and before anyone could answer her, she just went ahead and continued speaking to nobody in particular.

"I think this guy is really weird! He'll either do amazing, or he'll fail completely and be a loser for the rest of his life! Hehe!"

Oddly, four people nodded, agreeing with her.

"Peak Grade." A man who rarely spoke and always wore a mask, uttered these two words, expressing his prediction of Yaan's final performance. Everyone looked at him in surprise…this guy was notorious for giving stingy evaluations, to think he would assess Yaan so highly!

"Haha, you're all forgetting just how difficult it is to attain anything above Top Grade…and that's when testing cultivators on our level. This kid hasn't even formed his vital core yet, though he is daring and smart. I think High Grade is quite likely."

The old trial spirit looked around the room and smiled. He was amused to see everyone so interested in this, because he was certain that this show would be the most entertaining of their lives.

"I think that this child will obtain a Perfect Grade." The old spirit smiled calmly. Everyone looked at him in shock, but they said nothing. However, this insane prediction caused their attention to be drawn in even further.

Meanwhile…

Yaan and Rui made their way up the mountain. Rui could easily float without expending much if any energy, but she chose to walk besides Yaan.

Half way up the mountain, Yaan paused. His eyes widened in shock as the corpses came into view, and as they ascended higher, the entire mountain was littered with an endless visage of blood and organs.

Yaan was stunned, but not because of the carnage. He had seen this before, and his heart was too firm to become lost at the sight of some pitiful deceased strangers.

What left him feeling shock, was that they had actually arrived on this day of all days…

"No, this isn't possible, we…I've been in this illusion for over 5 years?!" Yaan suddenly realised, gasping aloud.

Rui turned to him and sighed deeply. When Yaan heard that, he looked at her in shock, understanding quickly how this had happened.

"Whenever you devoured a fragment of your mind, you passed out for days…at first. It soon turned to weeks, and aside from the final time, the three before were all over half a year."

"You…you waited all that time? And took care of my mortal body?" Yaan asked in disbelief.

"I waited for hundreds of years as a crippled soul, bound to a stone ring which was lodged in the belly of a fish. Five years isn't long when you reach your thousands."

Yaan slowly nodded, but still clasped his hands towards her earnestly.

No matters her motivations, in the end, she had assisted him in achieving his goal…

"I still don't know why you've been helping me. Why you've stuck by my side. Why you're so calm that this world is a false one…why you have't even once mentioned your deepest desire, to recover your strength…and to survive…but still. Thank you."

"Yaan…" She sighed, looking at him deeply. This cold queen of ice and death had never shown him such an expression before…

Yaan had a strange feeling in his heart, as if he would soon be discovering something quite shocking. Rui's odd expression said it all, but he didn't yet understand why.

Silently, the two climbed the mountain. Everyone was dead, decapitated so severely that any moron could tell they were far beyond saving.

"All this blood should be useful to you, right?" Yaan asked dully as he looked around. His words were cold as he re-experienced that traumatic shock from the past, but honestly, he had grown used to this…death.

"It's of no use to me right now." Rui slowly shook her head. Yaan didn't ask anymore and continued to walk up. Their pace was not fast, in fact, it was exceedingly slow as they took in all of the sights, not looking away from a single pitiful soul.

"No matter what I did, here or before, I couldn't have possibly prevented a disaster on this scale…" Yaan muttered.

"Scenes like this are common in this world…I have seen entire planets decimated by enraged cosmic beasts."

Rui often said some strange things and Yaan usually asked what she meant. Right now though, he just uttered:

"Oh."

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He wasn't even particularly surprised that this was far from the worst level of calamity. This life truly was cruel. The illusion was cruel for forcing him to relive this painful memory…to force the illusory inhabitants to suffer…

Or were they just images, talking and smiling, yet not real?

Suddenly, Yaan blinked, feeling stupid as a thought hit him.

"You know, I don't think I've spoken to a single person ever since I encountered you."

"I know. They can't see us."

Rui carried on and Yaan trailed behind, his mind trembling at the implications of this. He realised it many times along their journey together, but Rui always seemed to be three steps ahead of him, whilst pretending to be standing by his side. That was just Rui, though, Yaan didn't feel much about it.

For now, he was dazed and lost in thought, so felt slightly startled when just a few dozen feet ahead of him, an old man landed, jumping down from his sword as a young red robed boy followed quickly being him.

When the boy glanced backwards, seeing the devastation all around, his young face showed shock and a hint of fear. He slowly turned back around and followed his teacher, not wanting to be left behind.

Yaan turned to Rui with a blank expression. For a moment, for an unknown reason, she seemed distracted by something, falling into thought. After that boy ran off though, she didn't avoid looking at Yaan, but sighed deeply, almost sounding regretful that things had turned out this way, even though she decided back then, that this was certainly for the best.

"I'd like to know the truth." Yaan spoke calmly, staring at her intently.

"I'll tell you everything, but…perhaps we should follow them…"

Slightly awoken from his daze, Yaan nodded and followed after. They trailed behind, slowly approaching closer and closer.

"In truth, Jash was not the one to find the demonic fish, the ring and myself…it was you. Your life progressed exactly as you described to me before, with one key difference. When that version of you first activated the ring, it unexpectedly duplicated, appeared on the same finger on the opposite hand, though you were unable to see it. Unlike the first ring though, it did nothing…at first."

"Wait, this, this other me…when did they appear…?"

"I can't be sure, but I would assume that you split into two at the moment you decided to walk against your fate."

It was clear that Rui had lied about many things, but Yaan just wanted to understand right now...to understand the actual, complete truth!

And it seemed that besides himself, Rui also split into two…

"And so Jash, what happened?"

"With the other you, there was one slight change. In Zong Village when you lost your mind, you killed one fewer person."

"Jash." Yaan sighed. He was starting to see where this was heading…

"In this illusory world, when you fatally wounded Jash, he accidentally grabbed hold of the second ring. I didn't understand why at the time, but I was unable to emerge from the ring, despite absorbing some of his vitality. He was so close to death, yet the technique…it was cycled perfectly through his body, by a force that was not me." Rui explained slowly.

"It was the illusion…this true-false illusion formation activated the technique…in fact, maybe Jash actually did die on that day, but for such a short time that the technique brought him back…"

Rui's nodded.

"That explains it…that explains why he lost his mind instantly, rushing out crazily into the forest, still wearing the ring as if following a predestined fate…"

As Yaan listened to Rui, she suddenly let out a slight 'Ah…'

Yaan quickly whipped his head around, only to realise that the scene he dreaded to witness once more, had almost reached the final play. The other version Yaan had slowed down, now trailing behind them, just around the corner. He was yet to realise that the next few seconds would become the turning point in his life.

As the younger Yaan hung back, dazed by the scene of death and despair, the older Yaan rushed forwards crazily.

Rui, followed behind him silently.

The original Rui was using that demonic soul spell upon Great Elder Wan, without anyone around to see her doing so. Yaan rushed across so fast, however, that he was able to witness the final moments of this old man, moments that he had not seen before.

Whilst this all played out, the split Rui froze in place, staring forwards at Yaan, then at herself, back towards the lagging younger Yaan…and finally, she saw the complete picture. It was brief and faint, yet it confirmed the crux of the suspicion she had held throughout these past 5 years.

In fact, even as he rushed towards his teacher, Yaan had been keeping his gaze subtly trained backwards on Rui. He saw the same thing she did, but he really didn't know what to make of it.

As if nothing had happened, Rui continued to dash towards Yaan.

The original Rui paused as she examined the Great Elder closely. She then spoke one final sentence, right as Yaan reached her. The black rune on her tongue dissolved into a black light, which then flowed directly into Great Elder Wan's brain as she spoke.

Before she uttered the final word, Yaan roared out, but he was not heard. He lashed out wildly, but went unseen. He grabbed her shoulders, intending to pull her back and stop her…

His hands passed straight through her shoulders, whilst the original Rui didn't so much as notice. As Yaan almost tripped through her soul body, she spoke the last line of this spell.

"What you have done is unforgivable. The only way to repent, is to pay with your life."

After her mouth shut tight, Yaan stepped forwards again, travelling straight through her. He couldn't help but notice that it was he who phased through her, not the other way around…

Without time to think, Yaan stretched out to hopefully grab his old teacher before he fell. If he could only somehow wake him up and bring him to his senses, then maybe this death, this one death out of countless that occurred on this day, could be saved.

One life.

Yaan, upon learning more and more of the mysteries in this world, after being forced to relive his most painful moments, now just wanted something, anything he did, to change things. Even if that help was as insignificant as saving the illusion of a man who had schemed to refine him into a puppet.

Great Elder Wan's eyes became completely blank, he was oblivious to the three figures all around him, and the fourth figure that was slowly coming into view.

He looked down the mountain again and took in the sight of the devastation one final time.

"Damnit! Don't, just don't!" Unable to handle it as his hands travelled straight through his old teacher's body, Yaan shouted hatefully, despairingly, at his teacher, but also at the heavens above.

The old man slowly turned his gaze, looking up at the sky and smiling with a deep sadness in his eyes. Two streams of tears flowed down his face, mixing with the blood of those deceased bodies of his beloved fellow sect members, staining the earth crimson beneath his feet.

Yaan continued his futile attempt at grabbing the old despair filled man, and then the original Rui, but all tries were futile. His body phased into and through them, and no matter what he did, they did not notice his existence.

From the corner of his eyes, Yaan saw his Rui do the same. Like Yaan, she was unable to touch either Great Elder Wan or the illusion world's Yaan.

However, when she turned towards her other self, she hesitated.

"The only way that the heavens will forgive me, is if I pay with my life." Great Elder Wan had been thoroughly broken by Rui's soul spell, which interestingly had such a profound effect on both his mind and dao heart. He muttered these crazy words with absolute certainly, and for a moment, the clarity seemingly returned to his gaze, but the sadness in his eyes only became stronger.

Great Elder Wan stepped forwards and fell from the cliff.

At this moment, the young Yaan finally found the strength to look back up towards his teacher. Until now, he had been silently standing in the background, far from his teacher whom's aura was too deep and painful for his young self to bear.

When he looked up, he saw two figures, yet couldn't understand what he was seeing. He rushed forwards. Right as his teacher fell, he arrived at the edge of the cliff. He was confused as to why he was not flying, and the 'thud' sound of his old body slamming into the ground would echo though his mind for months to come.

"Teacher, you-! Rui, what are you doing?!"

Seeing his teacher stepping forwards from the cliff, the young Yaan was horrified. The older Yaan didn't show such blatant despair and weakness on his face, but he grit his teeth so hard that they made grinding noises, whilst clenching his fists and drew blood from his palms.

The young Yaan's mind was clearly a mess of confusion and chaos, both emotions displayed by his uncontrollable stream of tears. His heart lurched and his mind became blank, unable to comprehend what exactly was going on. Just what was happening, what was his teacher doing?

And then, he realised it…why was Rui standing behind him?

"Rui, what did you do?!"

Yaan remembered saying these words, and the Rui from his memory was just as cold as she had ever been. Her rebuttal was to tell him to shut up and listen, as she overexerted her power and was rapidly fading away…

Seeing that she was losing her chance, the second Rui stepped forwards and resolutely touched her double on the arm. The outcome…was unexpected.

The fading Rui didn't notice the contact, despite the second Rui not phasing through her! But when Rui touched her original, a stream of memories stormed into her mind by force, memories that this Rui had experienced in her absence.

After the original Rui returned to the younger Yaan's ring, she looked at this younger Yaan with a slight frown, shook her head, then sighed.

The older Yaan and his Rui stood still and in silence for some time. Yaan remembered each and every detail of what had happened, and everything right now remained identical to back then. As for Rui, she had never seen any of this before and neither did she care about the old man. He was even killed by her other self, so feeling depressed about it would really be nonsense. Even after absorbing the memories from her other self, her emotional state was not the least bit influenced by this event.

But…she watched the difference between the two versions of Yaan, this person she shared an unknown connection with. The difference between the young and old Yaans was incredible. Both were distraught by that old man's death, but for different reasons.

The more experienced Yaan did not dwell on the pain of re-watching this tragedy. More-so than anything, what filled him with unwillingness was the fact that he had been standing right there, fully aware of exactly what was going to unfold, yet he failed to change a damn thing.

Yaan suddenly felt a surge of rage and helplessness. He didn't want it…he didn't want to see this again! He didn't want to relive his life which seemed to be bound by chains of misery and suffering! But most of all…he didn't want to believe that fate could be so strong, so binding, that it essentially guaranteed the progression of all events in this world, even in an illusion.

He didn't want to accept that he was like an ant, helpless before the giants around him. He refused to accept the clear 'truth' before him…that they were all bound by fate, and they were helpless to do a thing about it.

As the younger Yaan wiped his face and Elia appeared right on time, Yaan's expression softened slightly.

At least she had lived…at least a single person he cared for, did not lose their life so miserably.

As the younger Yaan heard Elia speak of her parent's deaths, of their home village's destruction, he trembled slightly. However, both the older Rui and Yaan saw a faint golden vortex form within his eyes, before it vanished, without either the younger Yaan or Elia noticing.

Rui turned towards Yaan slowly.

"Yaan, how old were you at this point?"

"Huh? I was 11 years old…why?" Yaan was startled by this sudden question, but Rui's following words shook him to his very core.

"This level of insight into dao…is not possible for an 11 year old child. This is not just 'talent', it is a matter of wisdom and experience, something that can only be accumulated through time. You perceive dao far too easily for someone so young…it's impossible."

"Impossible…? Rui, what are you saying exactly?"

Rui gazed at Yaan deeply as some seemingly unrelated thoughts of the distant past resurfaced in her mind. She thought about what she had seen earlier; green threads connecting between the two versions of herself and the two versions of Yaan. As she made some uncertain connections in her mind, her gaze became very strange.

Finally, she answered him.

"The only possible explanation is that you are much older than you believe…"

Yaan's eyes widened in disbelief, but Rui was far from finished.

"Yaan, you mentioned before that you entered this trial at 6 years of age, but if my deduction is correct, this illusion world should have began at the beginning of your life. You have regained all of your memories from the real world, you only left behind a second of memory in your original body, so tell me…do you remember a single thing from before that time, the time when you were 6 years old? Do you remember your family, Yaan, prior to when you were taken away to the Heavenly Path Sect?"

Yaan's body shook violently, he trembled and stumbled back, as his eyes wide with confused shock. His memories began rushing through his mind as he refused to acknowledge what Rui was saying, he refused to accept…that she was right.

In the end, he had no choice to admit it. It seemed incomprehensible, but the moment Rui mentioned this shocking discrepancy in his mind, this lonely truth that he had been subconsciously avoiding without even realising it, Yaan became all too aware of this fact.

He had a vague idea of the life he had lived in his early life, but when he reflected upon it consciously, he realised that all of these ideas were as if they were fabricated. He did not remember any specific instance whatsoever.

Yaan remembered the day his sister was born. He remembered the day Elder Sun arrived at his village and changed his life…

But that was it, before that time, there was simply nothing.

He did not possess more than a single day of memory of the time he spent in Lightstone Village with his family.