Novels2Search
A Desolate Life
Chapter 117 - Different Ideas on Dao

Chapter 117 - Different Ideas on Dao

Chapter 117 - Different Ideas on Dao

Bang!

“Ugh…”

Whoosh…Boom!

“Peugh!”

“…”

Yaan watched silently as the training field descended into chaos. His expression remained indifferent, but in his heart, he felt slightly gloomy.

‘Why has nobody tried to stop this? I’m clearly doing something excessive…’

This was his third meeting with the elite disciple class. These teaching sessions occurred for half a day once every five days, an annoying schedule that disallowed him from truly delving into his cultivation properly. Yaan didn’t understand how the righteous elders got anything done when they were constantly being interrupted and distracted like this.

He was feeling troubled at this point. He was certain that the various arrogant and self-entitled disciples in this class had returned to their clans, influential families and even their personal teachers to complain.

So, why was it that nobody had tried to stop this class yet? Why was he still needing to waste his time on this?

It was true that Yaan was being paid for his time spent teaching the disciples, but this was not enough for his cultivation to progress properly. On top of that, all of these resources were essentially useless to him. He needed body tempering resources, of which he had none that were powerful enough to be of substantial use to him.

The lacking payment aside, he also didn’t want to get heavily drawn into the Fragment Sect. That immortal told him to integrate himself, so Yaan would do the minimum required to avoid being killed for not following his instructions.

On the bright side, Yaan had at least managed to discover some of the effect of that golden elixir he was forced to swallow by Old Thief.

Like the past elixir he used, Yaan gained some benefit to his physical body when he trained himself to the point of absolute exhaustion. Whenever he reached such a state, a golden power would flow out from an unknown place, filling his body with vitality and rejuvenating his strength.

Even though this wasn’t as effective compared to the elixir Yaan used in the 4th trial realm, he knew that this was only due to the less optimal environment of the outside world. The gravity and spiritual pressure were too low here, the strain on his body was not enough to see substantial gains.

Beyond this, Yaan had a suspicion that the golden elixir was actually accelerating the rate of repair of his dantian! The regeneration of his dantian was taking far longer than he had initially predicted when he first ascended to the 4-Star realm, so this naturally made him feel some excitement and anticipation.

BANG!

Yaan casually stepped to the side as the figure of an attractive young girl flew past him. She groaned as her body hit the ground, but she still grit her teeth and struggled to pull herself from the ground. Yaan glanced at her, identifying her as the second most popular girl in this class, a person without a family name called Shia.

In the Southern Continent, it was uncommon for most cultivators to use their family names, but Yaan had noticed that this was also the case in the North. The main reason for this was due to the clansmen. If a cultivator from a weak family stated their family name, not only was it a bit embarrassing to flaunt a completely unknown name, but there was a chance that others would target their families! Only those clansmen with huge influential lineages would actually use their family names, as this was a point of strength, pride and reputation for them.

Anyway, this was the second time that the elite class had undergone this ‘training’. The first time, five days earlier, when Shia found herself being attacked and forced into such a pitiful state, she had thrown a depressed look towards Elder Yaan, hoping that he would take pity on her. In fact, even her opponent had stopped attacking, feeling guilty when he saw her beautiful and sad expression, but also ashamed when others threw dirty gazes his way.

Yaan responded by slapping them both in the face with enough force to shatter their cheek bones.

The purpose of this class, this all out melee that only ended when one person was left standing, this chaotic scene of violence wherein Yaan struck anyone who tried reason with him, was to temper their resilience and to remove mercy from their mindset.

At least, that was the reason Yaan gave on the surface. In reality, he was just trying to stir things up further so that he could be relieved of this annoying duty.

Unfortunately, from what he had seen so far, leaving would be impossible in the foreseeable future. Not to mention that immortal with an unknown but likely extraordinary scope of abilities, even the other Origin Soul realm powerhouses throughout the sect were a great threat to Yaan. Combining those numerous powerhouses with the giant formations across the sect that were rumoured to monitor anyone and everyone’s movement at all times, it really was difficult to see any way out.

Really, like always, Yaan’s only choice was to become stronger. Only with strength could he protect himself, only with strength could he walk away from this place.

But how was he supposed to achieve that? Even if he achieved great merit as a teacher for some core disciples, would that earn him supreme body tempering medicines? At most he would earn more resources, which he could perhaps give to Zue Yin to refine medicines for him…

But it still wasn’t enough!

As the disciples continued to attack one another in a frenzy out of their fear of being struck by Elder Yaan, the terror-inducing person in question hardly paid them any attention.

Yaan stared up into the bright sky and sighed deeply. He squinted his eyes as he looked at the sun, now seeing this giant source of heat in a much different light compared to in the past…

He now knew that the sun was merely another star, whilst stars were giant balls of fire within the void of space, dwarfing planets and moons in size…

“What a world, huh. I wonder when I’ll be strong enough to leave the confines of a planet, to walk amongst the stars…” Yaan muttered to himself.

“You…you’re not even watching!”

Yaan glanced down at yet another girl. Her name was Ji Tulia, she was the young miss of the Ji Clan, a clan allied to the Yu Clan and no smaller in size than the Yu Clan. She and Yu Xan were like a natural couple, they really did suit each other, though they did not seem to be together yet.

As Ji Tulia stared at Yaan hatefully and he indifferently threw her a glance, she trembled slightly and turned pale. She remembered how five days ago, this Elder Yaan had actually kicked her in the stomach when she complained to him! She gritted her teeth, but after noticing that Yu Xan was watching her as the class temporarily paused their melee, she decided to hold her ground!

“I’m watching. For example, I can tell you that, without a doubt, both you and Yu Xan will be eliminated in the next 20 seconds.” Yaan commented plainly. This time, he actually did not strike her for trying to weasel her way out of training, because he had already determined that she was about to suffer regardless.

“Huh?” Ji Tulia furrowed her brows. “What do you-”

BANG!

The class’s jaws dropped when seemingly from nowhere, the girl with an ever dreamy, or perhaps lacklustre expression, used a spell from the shadows.

When the class stopped a moment ago, this girl who had been avoiding the battles to the best of her ability, suddenly hid her presence and practically vanished from everyone’s sight using an interesting technique. Then, at the moment that Ji Tulia was distracted, she struck from point blank range!

The result was that an illusory world seemed to form above the girl who suddenly appeared, before slamming into Ji Tulia as it rapidly expanded. Ji Tulia’s ribs fractured and she shot across the field, she was knocked unconscious before she even hit the ground!

Yaan’s eyes lit up. Ignoring Ji Tulia, who was just a useless person in his eyes, he focussed his attention on the dreamy listless girl named Ji Suzu.

Indeed, this girl with a vacant and tired look in her eyes was actually a Ji Clansman also. However, unlike Ji Tulia, she did not have much support within the Ji Clan; apparently, she was actually an orphan.

Her hair was slightly messy, and although she was also very attractive, her unfocussed gaze seemed to quench much of her beauty.

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But Yaan did not care about the appearance of this girl.

No, he cared about that ‘illusion’…

“Dream dao?” Yaan asked simply. For a brief moment, the girl’s eyes widened, showing her surprise. She examined Yaan closely for a moment, before the tired look returned and she slowly nodded.

“Mm…I’m surprised…you could tell…it isn’t…common…”

Yaan had met many people with strange ways of talking in his life, but this girl spoke really, really slowly.

“Ji Suzu, you actually dared to sneak attack your own clansman from the shadows whilst she was distracted? To attack when the battle had stopped, you’re too shameless!” Yu Xan frowned, turning to Ji Suzu and reprimanding her.

“Ah…” Ji Suzu stepped back, sighing as she realised that she had attracted Yu Xan’s ire. She knew that in a one on one battle, she was not his match. Nobody was, since Yu Xan's battle power was the highest in this class!

However, that only referred to a ‘fair’ one on one battle.

Whoosh…

A figure shot out from the shadows yet again as everyone was focussed on Ji Suzu and Yu Xan. Unlike Ji Suzu, this individual did not hide himself using some strange technique, but merely hid his body behind a physically large man who was standing relatively close by to Yu Xan.

Yu Xan reacted, but he was a step too late.

CHI!

The figure actually pulled out a short sword, plunging it straight towards Yu Xan’s stomach! The class’s eyes widened in shock, even Yaan was startled and started sweating slightly when he realised just how close this blow had been to Yu Xan’s dantian!

Whilst he couldn’t care less about Yu Xan and he was actively trying to get himself fired, it might be problematic if he indirectly caused one of his student’s cultivations to be crippled…or worse yet, if a student died.

Luckily, the blade narrowly avoided the dantian. However, in the next moment, Yaan was forced to step in.

Just as a grey glow built up around the sword blade, it was rapidly subdued as Yaan appeared like a ghost besides the pair, gently grasping the wrist of the boy who had stabbed Yu Xan.

“No killing or crippling, remember.” Yaan reminded the scrawny student, a young man called Hian, without any emotion in his tone.

“A-ah…” Hian, startled, turned up to face Yaan, his face filled with uncertainty and fear.

Thud…

Yu Xan fell back, completely unconscious due to the grey shockwaves that spread through his body moments before Yaan stopped the spell from being cast to completion. If it had truly been cast, Yu Xan’s body might have been obliterated on the spot.

Though, as the young heir to a large clan, Yaan doubted that Yu Xan would die so easily. At the very least, Yu Xan should have some sort of life saving treasure on his person, this was how the large clans operated.

Yu Xan fell like a sack of potatoes, completely ignored by both Yaan and Hian.

“D-d-did I-I g-go t-too f-far?” Hian stammered.

He was a nervous, but that was not the cause for him stammering. In fact, he actually possessed a stammer which could not be cured by any medicine. As for the reason…

Everyone thought he was just stupid, and perhaps even Hian himself did not quite understand it, but Yaan could tell. He was afraid. Not just afraid of Yaan, or of his peers, but of literally everything. Everything in this world frightened Hian, he was terrified of others, of danger, of the cultivation world, of battle…

Hian and Ji Suzu. Of the 25 students in this class, Yaan only acknowledged these two as being somewhat decent. The two class outcasts.

Maybe he was just being biased, as he himself had always been an outcast in the cultivation world in one way or another. Or perhaps, those of the demonic path were simply innate outcasts, so he naturally felt better inclined towards these two unique individuals.

No, that wasn’t the real reason. In truth, these were the only two in this class who were able to use their brains, they were the only two not ruled by their emotions, not controlled by useless feelings of pride and superiority.

Ji Suzu was listless, seemingly unfocussed, and always wore a vacant, dream-like expression. However, she knew where she stood amongst the class in terms of strength, she understood and accepted her own weaknesses, and she handled this melee by playing to her strengths. She was efficient, not wasting energy, but when she struck, she struck hard, fast and without mercy.

Hian was scrawny, fearful, somewhat unkempt, and always on edge against others. He could not properly hold a conversation, this was his greatest weakness, that and constantly being looked down upon by others due to his fearful nature…but he was not weak. He feared danger, but he did not hide from challenges. He forced himself to live with the fear, and he even used his constant tension to better focus his senses, finding some benefit from his own weakness.

Yaan examined Hian, who was trembling when facing him, yet also standing his ground and looking him straight in the eye.

“Too far?” Yaan asked with a slight smile. “Killing someone in a practise exercise is indeed too far. Also, you nearly crippled him. However…in a real life and death battle, this is exactly how you should act. Just be more careful, remember that these are your classmates, try not to actually kill anyone just yet.”

With that, Yaan stepped back. He glanced at Yu Xan, who was now sat upright after Shia fed him a recovery pill. She looked at Yu Xan with concern, but he ignored her entirely. He quickly looked across at Ji Tulia, then after confirming that she was also being treated to the side of the field, he turned towards Yaan with an enraged expression.

“Ah…” Shia let out a gentle surprised cry, then looked bitter as Yu Xan stood up and faced away from her. However, he calmed his anger for a moment, turning back towards Shia briefly with a grateful smile.

“Thank you for treating me.”

With that, he turned back to Yaan. Shia looked dazed for a moment, but her expression brightened up. She quickly got to her feet, standing just behind and to the side of Yu Xan as she also faced Yaan. However, her gaze was more timid, containing some anxiety as she worried that Yu Xan would aggravate this unsympathetic teacher of theirs.

“Elder Yaan…” Yu Xan calmed himself, but the fire of anger could still be seen within his eyes.

Yaan raised an eyebrow, remaining silent for now. He was aware that Yu Xan was something of a leader to this class, and because he was standing up to their teacher right now, everyone naturally stopped.

Taking this moment where everyone’s attention was drawn away from them, both Ji Suzu and Hian slipped away, disappearing from the masses. Yaan internally nodded, approving of this method.

“You may not care about pride yourself, but this sort of encouragement towards shameless tactics does not sit well with me! This is not the way of a righteous hero, I do not aspire to learn your so called teachings!”

Everyone held their breath after hearing this. They already knew that Elder Yaan had no tolerance for this sort of arguing, nor did he have any issue with physically reprimanding them. Would Yu Xan be ok…?

“So what if it does not sit well with you? When you fight the Northern demons, do you think they will care if it sits right with you? If you challenge them to an upfront battle, do you think they will honour your feelings?” Yaan refuted.

“I don’t.” Yu Xan shook his head firmly, causing Yaan to take a second look at him.

‘At least he isn’t completely stupid…’

“But even if they do not fight with honour, that does not mean that I must fall to their level!”

‘I take it back. He’s a moron.’ Yaan sighed.

“You want to fight honourably against someone who has no qualms against stabbing you in the back at the first opportunity?” Yaan laughed and shook his head. “How ridiculous. Is being killed due to your own obstinance really so honourable?”

“It is!”

As Yaan stared at him with a dull look, Yu Xan snorted and folded his arms.

“I am a man who lives by his pride, this is my dao heart! Elder Yaan, even if you don’t care about honour or pride, surely you must at least acknowledge the importance of living in accordance with your dao heart, no?”

Everyone focussed after hearing Yu Xan say this, many students looked at him with admiration and envy. It was well known that Yu Xan never backed down from his principles, and because of this, his dao heart was free from doubt and worry. It was said that those who recognised their dao heart and lived in accordance with their nature had fewer difficulties upon their journey of cultivation!

Yaan remained silent as he observed Yu Xan for some time.

This matter…he did not want to refute it.

Whilst Yaan did not agree with the idea that the dao heart was set and needed to be followed regardless of all else, this was indeed the common understanding that was prevalent throughout the Southern Continent. If he disagreed with this here, it could cause people to become suspicious of his nature and origin.

Honestly, Yaan’s understanding of the dao heart was not very clear.

In the Northern Continent, information was more tightly controlled, so lower realm cultivators only had a superficial understanding of dao, the dao heart, and other such things. He learned very little about dao during his time in Ghu Province.

Yaan knew that in the 4th trial realm, there were some writings on the matter of the dao heart, whilst there was almost nothing regarding the heavenly dao. Unfortunately, Yaan had been kept busy by his immediate cultivation during his time in the 4th trial realm, he did not delve deeply into those texts.

Aside from these things, all he knew about the dao heart came from Rui…

To begin with, Rui’s motivations were already known to be malicious. She had driven him towards the demonic path, teaching him things that would ensure that he walked along this road, progressing through the Fiend Transformation technique in a way that suited her final need. That said, she did want him to progress, initially at least, so she had explained some matters about the dao heart.

Rui was of the belief that the dao heart was not something inherent to a person, but that it was developed, sculpted over time. She acknowledge that all beings had their nature, but she believed that this nature could be changed, or at the very least, this was possible during a person’s younger years.

Again, this was only Rui’s perspective.

Yaan did not know the truth. Was the dao heart something that was set at birth, and therefore needed to be followed from thereon? Was the dao heart something that grew and changed over time, making the idea of strictly adhering to one’s dao heart completely pointless?

Personally, Yaan disagreed with both of these theories.

In the first place, the idea of the dao heart still confused him.

According to the Spirit Plane Lord, the dao heart was in fact a being’s own unique dao. According to Rui, the dao heart was built upon a person’s actions throughout their life. According to the Southern Continent cultivators, the dao heart was a strict rule unique to a person that they must discover and follow if they wished to cultivate smoothly.

But then, why was it that Yaan barely understood his own heart, yet he never truly encountered any significant bottlenecks in his cultivation? Perhaps it was due to his earthly dao comprehension, his comprehension over things like illusions, water and air, being sufficient to compensate for a poor dao heart?

This still did not feel right, Yaan did not believe that his heart was weak. He simply did not understand the idea of ‘living in tune with one’s heart’.

‘In fact, there is something I know, but this goes against what everyone believes. My heart has not changed all that much since my young age until now…and I have always acted in a way that goes against my heart. As I have grown older, my actions have strayed further and further away from what feels right…and yet, this determination and willingness to defy my own feelings only makes me grow stronger and more resolute…’

This might sound similar to Rui’s early teachings, but it was different. Early on, she wanted Yaan to defy his own feelings because she believed that over time, his heart would grow closer to the demonic way. This was how many cultivators of the demonic path started out; they forcefully altered their innermost heart, whether by choice or not, eventually developing a dao heart of the demonic path.

But for Yaan, this never happened. Yaan’s feelings remained, even though he tried to pretend that they did not. As time passed by, he only became more firm in his determination to continue walking against his own innermost feelings. After all, he had only ever been taught that he should walk against these ‘useless’ feelings…he was never taught what came next…

Rui would not be able to understand this, but nor would any powerful cultivator in the Southern Continent. By the South’s common sense, a cultivator like this was simply damaging their own heart, such a thing should lead to endless ‘heart demons’ forming within their dao heart, causing their cultivation to stagnant, their mind to break down, and their entire sense of self to collapse in on itself!

Thinking this, Yaan was suddenly reminded of something the Spirit Plane Lord mentioned, when she had enlightened him into the various matters of dao…

'Whilst almost all cultivators embrace the heavenly dao and follow their own dao heart, there are those in this world determined to reject the heavenly dao. There are even some who reject their own dao heart. To walk against dao…this is also dao.’

Those were the words she spoke, but only now did these words have a big impact on Yaan.

To walk against his own heart…

He forced himself to calm down and returned his thoughts to the present moment. Whilst this line of thought was certainly something that he wanted to pursue at some point, now was not the time. After all, this class was waiting for an answer.

“If this is truly your dao heart, then indeed you should live according to it…” Yaan began.

Yu Xan immediately looked smug, but Yaan’s following words left him feeling dazed and unable to respond.

“But the way in which you currently live according to your dao heart is too useless. Find a different method that won’t get you killed.”