The Helmeted Crusader And The Silver Thief!

Part 1

The Next Morning, after I cleared up all those rumours–

A fiery-tempered silver-haired female thief stood across from me with a challenging glint in her eye.

“Wanna say that again, you jerk?”

With gritted teeth, her veins popping from her temple and a face completely red in prideful competition.

She had anger management issues.

Ionia had her fingers clenched around the fabric of my collar, her face inches from mine as she glared at me with steaming fury. Her nose pressed against the chin of my helmet, her breath coming out in frustrated huffs as she locked eyes with me.

Her shorter stature forced me to slouch slightly as her grip yanked me downward, bringing me eye level with her intense glare.

Her eyes were way too scary, but she smelt pretty good.

“-Yeah, I ran around the town in under 13 minutes. Me, the amazing Holy Crusader Slate! You’re always boasting about how much you train, but that skinny frail body of yours doesn't look like much, eh? How fast can you run? I bet you’d get it done in 20 minutes if you’re lucky.”

And there’s me, with a smirk under my helmet, taunting the easily-enraged Ionia in the Adventurers Guild.

Why was I doing this?

“Under 13 minutes? I’ll beat that! I’ll beat that so damned easily, just watch me you pathetic helmeted bastard! Christina! Set the timer, I’ll be back in 10 minutes!”

Ionia declared in a fit of competitive rage as she threw her short shoulder cape onto the table we were standing beside.

Uwah… So easy to trick.

“So easy.” x2

Christina and Ali muttered under their breaths, Christina then glanced down at her watch.

To be frank, I lied.

There’s no way I could run around the town within 13 minutes, last time I tried it was more like 20 minutes.

Ionia’s build was more suited for running, she was agile, skinny, very toned and was a Thief.

Her Job Class and body was built for sneaking and running around.

To be honest, her clothing was very revealing. But, she had no assets to speak of and if it weren’t for her feminine face, I’d mistake her as a boy.

With the timer set, Ionia sped out of the Guild, determined to beat my record and prove me wrong.

“-And, she’s gone.”

After my last comment, I ordered some beer.

“-2 mugs please, and put it on Ionia’s tab.”

I sat down opposite Christina and Ali on the table and smiled in self-satisfaction.

That was my goal, get Ionia to go away for a bit, and order drinks on her tab. Aren’t I a genius? It’s not my fault she was too easy to trick.

“Hey, Slate. Ionia’s gonna kill you when she comes back.”

Ali remarked. He was my older bearded muscled up companion, he looked at me with half pity and half disappointment, but he didn’t do anything to stop me.

That’s why I like him, he minds his own business.

“Eh, that’s okay. I’ll pay her back when I make it big, you know? Also, she won’t know if you don’t tell.”

The two mugs of beer came quickly, and I chugged one down quickly.

Ah… Free beer tastes the best.

“I’m definitely telling.”

A higher-pitched voice in front of me threatened me.

I looked up to see Christina, her head pressed against Ali’s shoulder as she clinged onto him. Though compared to the affection she demonstrated to him, she looked at me with a cold-gaze.

With that icy glare, she had long beautiful curly blonde hair with puff french bangs that covered her forehead in a straight line.

The sides of her blonde hair pressed up against her jet-black robe she wore as a mage.

She had a very attractive womanly figure that would steal the gazes from any man around her.

“Oh come on, you wouldn’t rat me out to Ionia, right?”

“Yes, I would.”

…

When Ionia came back, Christina ratted on me.

Ionia did indeed beat my record, running around town in a whopping 9 minutes, sprinting the entire way without rest or pause and looked to be in tip-top shape without any sign of fatigue.

When she found out that I ordered drinks on her tab, I was chased around town.

That was when I found out that I too can run around town in one loop in a whopping 9 minutes in contrast to my previous record of 20 minutes around the town.

I cut my own record in half!

It was amazing progress, but that’s only because my life was severely threatened!

…

Part 2

“-Are you guys done playing around? We’re getting ready to start the quest.”

Ali, one of my party members, stood beside a carriage and adjusted the strap on one of the horse face’s.

“Hey, Ali. I’m sitting next to you, remember? Don’t sit beside Slate or Ionia in the carriage.”

Christina, one of my party members, stood eerily close to Ali.

She had a dark predatory look in her eyes as she glared at the unsuspecting Ali who was focused on the horses.

Ali, old enough to be my father, was overly serious, a stickler for the rules. Despite his obsession with following the rules, he kept it to himself and was the most sane person in this party, excluding me, of course. He was the de-facto leader of our group.

As fitting for a leader, he was a tall masculine-looking man with an intimidating beard, and wore quite the fancy outfit, with a rapier blade at his side.

Ionia was a ticking time bomb tomboy.

Christina is madly in love with Ali, to the point where it was insanely creepy.

And me, I’m the most gracious of all.

“Get back… Here… I’ll fucking… Kill.”

Ionia, finally completely spent, chased after me like a demonic golem. She chased me around town for over 2 laps at break-neck speed, and I was just about spent too.

Completely out of stamina, I collapsed to the ground.

“Enough of this.”

Ali intervened, seizing Ionia’s wrist as she poised to strike. I could feel Ionia's thin legs brushing against my sides as she was mounted on top of my stomach.

But thankfully, with a firm grip, he ushered her forcefully into the carriage loaned to us by the Adventurer’s Guild for quests like this.

…

After things were settled, we all were sitting in the carriage, the imposing brick gates and walls of the country Town Of ‘Ally’ that we lived in slowly became smaller and smaller in view.

“So, let’s go over the quest.”

Ali pulled out the quest paper and went over details:

“A rich merchant is having troubles with an excessive build-up of monsters around his estate, for a reward of an ridiculous amount of 2000 silvers, we have to spend an entire week culling down the numbers of monsters around the region. We’ll be accommodated within the estate with food and shelter.”

It was the ideal quest.

Not only did they provide an insane reward, but a free roof and food for the stay. And the only job was to cut down monsters.

Ali was a Fencer, I was a Holy Crusader, Ionia was a Thief and Christina was a Mage. It was a perfectly balanced party that would do well in quests like this.

Also, Ionia sitting beside me was still glaring at me, but most of her angst seemed to have subsided enough not to randomly attack me.

But she did nudge my arm a few times.

“Who is this rich merchant?”

Questioning, Ionia broke her cold gaze, and turned to face Ali.

“His name is Mortimer Raven. We don’t know much about him other than he’s a rich merchant and is the quest giver.”

Without looking at the quest sheet, Ali replied. He memorised everything.

“He doesn’t sound like a noble, why does he have a random mansion out in the middle of nowhere?”

Christina chimed in, grabbing the quest sheet and reading over it again.

“Beats me, but it’s a good quest so I won’t ask questions.”

Shrugging, Ali closed his eyes and sighed before yawning out:

“-It’s gonna take a long while to get there, I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me up when we arrive. We’re gonna need the energy, so I suggest you guys do too.”

The moment he closed his eyes, a quick tiny flash along with a clicking sound engulfed the interior carriage for a split second.

“-What was that?”

Reacting to the quick sound, Ali opened his eyes and looked around.

“Nothing.”

Christina smiled eerily, hiding something beneath her robes.

“-Must have been my imagination, I must be getting old.”

As Ali went back to his quick nap, Christina stealthily put the camera back in her backpack.

Ionia and I glared at her for a quick second, before pretending not to notice that Christina just took a photo of Ali’s sleeping face.

We both forced ourselves to look out the window behind us awkwardly.

Yes, this was one of her hobbies.

Being a creep.

“-Hey Ionia, isn’t that a Trap-Rabbit?”

“-That’s right, that’s a Trap-Rabbit. You’re so smart, Slate!”

Having turned around to look out the window of the carriage, Ionia and I pretended not to notice the further clicking and flashing sounds from Christina’s camera. We even pointed out random things in our surroundings, desperately trying to fill in the void and cover up the sounds of Christina’s camera clicking over and over again.

“Ah… Another cute photo of Ali sleeping for my collection. Hehehe…”

She muttered something creepy to herself, thinking that Ionia and I couldn’t hear her.

We can hear you. We can hear you! Stop it!

The sleeping vulnerable Ali doesn’t know that he’s in grave danger.

There was a reason why I wasn’t too romantically interested in Christina, despite her looks.

“His chest… I need to see his bare muscled up hairy burly chest. Haah… Haah… His abs too. Did my sleeping spell work that well on you, Ali? You won’t feel it if I just… Take off your top, right? Maybe next time I should put some sleeping potion drops into his beer. Hehehe… I forgot to bring the aphrodisiac, that’s unfortunate.”

I felt my spine shiver hearing Christina’s mutterings from behind me.

But there was nothing Ionia and I could do.

Sorry, Ali! Bear with it! I’m not getting involved!

Behind Ionia and I was Christina and Ali. Or in other words, Predator and Prey.

“Trap rabbits are dangerous, aren’t they. Ionia?”

“Yep! They are! Hahaha! If you get lured in by one, you’re dead! Hahaha!”

Ionia and I laughed uncharacteristically out of awkwardness pretending to build a loud warm atmosphere to compensate for Christina’s obvious panting and camera clicking noises.

“Oh my Slate, did you clean your helmet today? It looks shinier than usual!”

Somehow, seeing Ionia laugh innocently and treat me warmly with compliments even as a way to cope was much scarier than Christina’s creepy antics.

Please stop it, both of you.

You guys are freaking me out.

We spent an hour picking out details outside the carriage until Christina was done taking photos of the sleeping Ali.

…

Part 3

“Ah~ That was one of the best naps I’ve had in a while. I feel so refreshed.”

Stretching his burly arms, Ali yawned out in pure self-satisfaction, completely ignorant that he had been made prey to a certain predator in the carriage.

“Yes, we’re here now.”

Christina smiled innocently.

The ride had been excruciatingly long, but considering the quest rewards. It was well worth it.

In front of us was a large intimidating mansion estate, it had brick walls that were as tall as me surrounding the entire place and within was a large luxurious building.

Only problem was that it was in the middle of nowhere.

The gates of the estate were flung open, and we were greeted by a sparklingly well-dressed man.

“Ah, welcome Adventurers! I got the message from the Guild, you’re here for the quest. Yes?”

Not only was he well-dressed, he also had a bright smile on his face and approached us with glee.

“That’s right, Mortimer, right? My name is Ali, and these are my companions. Slate, Christina and Ionia. Thanks for having us, I assume most of the monsters are in the forest behind your estate? Would you like us to begin?”

“No no, please settle in first.”

Mortimer turned and walked into the gate, beckoning our party to follow along.

He wore quite a lesser noble’s suit, paired with his well-groomed hair and pale white clear skin complexion.

Our footsteps hit the carefully placed brick pathway into the expensive estate.

The front garden was beautiful, and seemed to be regularly maintained, but there weren’t any signs of any house servants around.

“Hey hey, you running this place by yourself? You don't have any servants?”

I asked him that question.

For someone to live in a large place like this, keep it maintained and clean; it would only make sense for a person to have servants to tend to duties.

“Yes, that’s the thing… I’ve sent my servants back to a nearby town until the excessive monster problem is resolved.”

“That makes sense, is it that bad?”

Ionia replied and looked around in amazement, it was like she’d never seen the front garden of a noble’s house before.

“Yes unfortunately, there’s just been an increase of monster activity in the forest, mainly undead. That’s why you’re all here.”

“Oh, undead? That’s easy. You’re in luck, I’m a Holy Crusader! You’re in good hands, Mr Mortimer!”

With a surge of pride in my chest, my lips curled into a grin of self-satisfaction beneath my helmet as I pointed toward myself.

I caught a subtle shift in Mortimer's expression, he then focused his smile warmly toward me.

“That’s wonderful! I can’t wait until they’re all gone and I can resume business as usual.”

“Of course, what else can we expect?”

Ali assured Mortimer and inquired.

“Just trap Rabbits, and a small colony of surface goblins. And a little bit of undead deeper into the forest, but I haven’t explored that far.”

That was already written in the quest paper, but Ali was glad to have it reaffirmed.

Mortimer opened the doors of his estate, and turned around and spoke again.

“The monsters today have already retreated into the forest, I’ll introduce you all to your rooms to rest up and prepare tomorrow.”

Mortimer swung open the doors of his estate, revealing a grand foyer.

“Uwah!”

Following Mortimer through decorated corridors, they reached a set of double doors. Inside, a plush sitting room awaited, with velvet couches around a dead fireplace.

Ionia and Ali marvelled at the opulence, their eyes reflecting the awe of the magnificent surroundings.

Despite the lavish display, I couldn't muster much enthusiasm. This luxury was middle-noble level at the very best. It seemed like Christina shared my sentiments; her subdued reaction contrasted sharply with Ionia's excitement:

“-Say, will we have separate rooms to sleep in?!”

Ionia jumped on the spot in.

“Mm, yes. There are multiple guest rooms, you all can stay in separate rooms.”

“-Aw…”

Christina’s shoulders slumped in disappointment after receiving her answer.

“No, I think we’d prefer to stay together in one room.”

Ali chimed in.

It was blunt, but still a very rational decision.

“Are you sure? I won’t be able to provide any room service, but I have a lot of guest rooms that are close to each other.”

Mortimer smiled wryly.

“Sorry, as adventurers, it’s better if we all stick together just in case something happens. This is a pretty dangerous area after all.”

Ali, with a subdued tone, bluntly put.

“You don’t have to worry about that, the guest rooms are all adjacent to each other.”

Mortimer seemed quite insistent on the point.

“Yeah, Ali. I kinda want to know how it feels to sleep alone in a noble’s guest room. I’ve never experienced that before! It’s fine if the rooms are close to each other, right?”

Ionia supported Mortimer’s offer.

“No, I agree completely with Ali! We should all stay in the same room, safety, obviously! Definitely for safety reasons! And for safety reasons I’ll sleep right beside our leader, it would be bad if our leader was hurt, right? Yes! I’ll sleep between his arms, if that’s the case! Wrapped in his large burly… Aah~”

Shut the fuck up.

Christina did not support Mortimer’s offer, for reasons left unsaid.

Both of these girls had differing opinions about the offer, both for selfish reasons.

Ali was concerned about safety and being split up in a monster-rich area and wanted to stay together in case something happened during the night, and they didn’t know Mortimer very well.

And Christina thought the same, for different reasons.

Ionia was insistent on wanting to experience something new.

I wasn’t interested in either, I could take both. So I kept silent.

Ali and Ionia argued with each other about the lodgings while I made myself comfortable on a couch.

In the end, a compromise was made.

Christina and Ali would share a room, and Ionia and I would share the other.

Our safety was ensured, satisfying Ali a little. And the ability to experience a noble’s room without feeling cramped, satisfying Ionia a little.

Just a little.

…

“To think I would share a room with you… In such a nice place.”

Throwing a small bag onto the large king-sized bed Ionia walked to the window and looked out into the forest from the guest room we were assigned.

“Hey, don’t we share the same room at the Inn? What’s so different here? Does the little girl need her privacy?”

I craned my neck as I teased Ionia.

“I’m not a little girl! Also, this is different. This room is… Amazing, I’ve never been in such a luxurious room before! It’s messed up that I have to share it with you of all people. Ah… My first time in a noble room and it’s ruined by Slate.”

“We’re here to do a quest, not experience Mr Richie Rich’s estate!”

I retorted back.

Though, because we are supposed to rest up for the rest of the evening, I took a seat on a comfortable cushioned seat in the large room assigned to us and relaxed.

“-Hah… Yeah yeah, I get it. I guess I’ll bear with it.”

Maturely and uncharacteristically, Ionia did not retort angrily.

Instead she turned back from the window and walked back toward the bed and threw herself onto the comfortable cushions.

She must be feeling pretty good if she couldn’t muster up the will to argue back.

“-Ah… Oh my god, so this is what a noble’s bed feels like. Uwah! It’s like I’m sleeping on a fluffy cloud, haha! Hahaha! I love it!”

From my perspective, I’ve always seen Ionia as a tomboy with anger issues.

Despite her usual tomboyish demeanour and anger issues, seeing her revel in the luxury of the bed caught me completely in a fleeting sense of warmth and an endearment toward her rarely shown feminine side, just for a bit.

“What are you looking at me like that for? Your face is covered by a helmet, but I know you’re making some sort of disgusting expression. Please cut it out, I’m enjoying myself here.”

Ionia covered herself in the thick cushioned blanket.

“You just looked a little bit cute playing around on the bed like that, it’s so unusual of you. I normally see you participating in eating competitions in the guild and that…”

Ionia glared at me for a quick second before smirking mischievously.

“Eee? You think I would go like ‘W-What, don’t call me cute’ and act all bashful? Nonsense! Being called cute by you means nothing to me! Hahahaha! Try your luck after you take off that stupid helmet of yours! But thanks for calling me cute though, I’m well aware! Puahahaha! Muahaha!”

She let out a hearty laugh before allowing herself to fall back onto the cushions of the bed.

Ah, there’s the tomboy-side that I vaguely missed.

She’s in a very good mood.

“Yeah, go enjoy yourself. I have to go pray to the Water Goddess.”

I walked toward the balcony, and sat right behind the door, crossing my legs.

I placed my sword horizontally onto the ground in front of me and closed my eyes.

Focusing on my breath, I began to do a usual routine.

I wasn’t the religious type, nor was I devout but prayer and meditation was a requirement for my Job Class as a Holy Crusader.

Time spent honing my Holy Attributes through meditating on my magical power was essential for keeping up and maintaining my Holy Strength.

Equivalently, to maintain sword skill, one must train with the sword regularly. To maintain Holy Strength, I would need to pray and meditate regularly with the Water Goddess in mind.

Though, as a Holy ‘Crusader’ I would need to work both sword skills and my Holy Attributes.

How annoying.

If I didn’t, I would just be an impotent Holy Crusader.

“-Hey, Ionia. There’s a huge, very huge huge hu-u-uge bath in this estate! Like, really big! Let’s go take a hot bath together.”

Christina flung the door right open and invited Ionia.

“Oh really? Nice! I haven’t had a proper bath in a while!”

Excited to wash off all the grime and dirt of the day, Ionia ran out the room with Christina to prepare for their bath.

As a Holy Crusader, it was important that I meditated without interruption or losing focus. If I opened my eyes, or focused on anything else then it would disrupt the session.

But that wasn’t an issue for me, I had my pride as a Holy Crusader.

With that in mind, my eyes shot wide open after hearing about Christina and Ionia’s bath session.

“It’s my duty as a fellow comrade to protect and watch over my comrades in this unfamiliar territory. No- It’s my sacred duty as a Holy Crusader!”

My eyes glimmered with a bright ray of determination under my helmet as I made that sacrilegious declaration, I stood up and walked right out of the room to sneakily follow Christina and Ionia.

The Water Goddess was definitely screaming at me up in the heavenly realm, calling me all sorts of names. But that didn’t matter, along with my pride as a Holy Crusader. I still had my pride as a man!

…

Part 4

The sun was just about to set, light was fading and everything was just about to turn orange.

I was outside the large mansion, peeking through a window to look into the baths.

“Ah, this is quite the sight. Man, I’m not romantically interested in Christina because of her… Hobbies… But her body sure is amazing.”

I couldn’t see much though, unfortunately Ionia was in the way.

“Get out of the way… You stupid silver-haired thief.”

I muttered to myself as I peeked through the small narrow window.

I couldn’t make out any of what they were both saying, but that was fine. I didn’t come here to chime into their conversations, after all.

“Ah, so that’s where you were.”

A low voice called out to me from behind.

I instantly knew who it was.

“Ali.”

Without a word, Ali grabbed my collar and dragged me back into the Mansion.

“What do you think you’re doing, spying on them in the bath? I won’t even mention the laws you’re breaking, are you really a Holy Crusader? Aren’t there religious rules against that stuff? The Water Goddess isn’t going to spare you from judgement when you die, you know? What happened to a Crusader’s honour?”

I paused, feeling the weight of Ali's words.

“-Honor, huh?”

My gaze fell to the floor momentarily before I met his eyes with a sombre expression.

I abandoned my code of honour a long time ago.

“-Spare me the honour lecture, Ali.”

Heaving a deep sigh, I stood up and brushed myself. Ali wasn’t gonna give it up until I admit I was wrong, so, I did:

“-I get I was wrong, I’m going to be taking a bath after they’re done. Will you be joining?”

“No, I think I’m going to head to bed early tonight. The sun is almost setting, and I’m getting old. I need more sleep.”

“-Just ‘cause you got some white hairs don’t mean you’re old, eh?”

“I don’t want to hear that from a young man like yourself.”

…

After the girls were done bathing, I walked in with a towel around my waist to cover my bare body.

I could feel the sweat accumulate and condense heavily in the interior of my metal closed-off helmet. It became a stifling chamber of heat and humidity but I bore with it as I made my way into the large steamy bath area.

It was quite a large bathing area.

Marble columns rose majestically from the tiled floor, with one large marble square in the middle, filled with boiling hot water.

Was it powered by magic?

I didn’t smell any burnt wood, so that must have been the case.

After cleaning myself enough, I relaxed in the pool of hot water.

Looking up at the ceiling, I thought about the quest.

Since there was a large amount of undead in the forest, I would be relied upon mostly to take care of them as a Holy Crusader. But even so, for undead to spawn there had to be a reason.

Undead don’t just spawn randomly.

One of the conditions for an undead to spawn was a corpse, the other one was that when it died, it wasn’t given any blessings by a priest, or anyone with a Holy Job-Class. If it wasn’t those conditions, then the undead must have spawned naturally due to a stronger unholy presence.

Most likely a higher-level undead, a Lich probably. Though, I hope it’s not an Elder Lich.

“Oh? There’s someone using the bath?”

I heard an unfamiliar voice echo in the large steamy room, followed by footsteps of bare feet tapping wetly against the tiled ground.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

I turned around to see Mortimer, the owner of the estate, walk in with nothing but a towel around his waist.

“-Oh, hey mate. The girls were just using it, might as well give it a try, eh? You got a pretty good bathhouse here, I like it.”

Looking around, along with this large pool of steamy hot water, there even was a huge Sauna room on the side, along with smaller spa baths and separate baths all around.

Even a typical high-noble house’s estate wouldn’t have baths on this level, or more likely wasn’t interested in something like this.

“I’m glad you enjoy my accommodation, you see, I’m a huge fan of bathhouses and hot springs. That’s why I designed the blueprint. Living far away from any nearby towns was a death sentence.”

Mortimer dipped in the bath, sitting opposite to me.

Mortimer’s skin was extremely pale, but it seemed like he was born with that.

“Why did you decide to build your estate far away from town”

Typically, estates like this would be a least an hour away from any large nearby settlements for logistical reasons. But Mortimer’s Estate was nearly an entire day away from ‘Ally’, the town we’re from that’s large and significant enough.

Not only that, this area was riddled with monsters. It can hardly be considered safe, even if we clear out the forest beside it, at least some monsters would spawn naturally.

“You see, I was a merchant. A pretty good one too, but I’ve retired from that. I bought this place and renovated it, and I’m hoping to start a family and raise them as lesser nobles. It may be a bit late to make kids, but I want to at least try.”

Rich retired merchants entering into noblehood, a rare practice because it was difficult to do.

Mortimer looked up into the ceiling, the steamy air and humidity clouding our vision.

Mortimer continued:

“-And of course, I can’t make kids in this environment. So I’ll be thankful if you good adventurers clean them up as soon as possible.”

“Leave it to us, Mortimer! Your kids will grow up in a safe environment. I’ll create a Holy Magical Circle dedicated to the Holy Water Goddess in the forest to prevent any undead from spawning. And also in the graveyard area of your estate.”

Mortimer’s head turned to face me, there was a brief flicker in his eyes at my offer. His face was neutral for a quick second before he smiled charmingly.

“I’m grateful for that, Holy Crusader adventurer. Anything to get those monsters out of here.”

I smiled in pride before relaxing my body again.

“-Also, isn’t it hot? You should take off that helmet.”

“I’m good.”

…

“Tch, I don’t see Ali anywhere… What a waste of time.”

I heard a subtle voice mutter silently from the direction of a window looking into the bathhouse.

I didn’t need to look to know who that pervert was.

...

Part 5

“What the hell, where is the god damned undead?! The quest said there would be undead! Ah, that’s a baby goblin on my back! There’s a baby goblin on my back!”

“Hang in there, Slate! You’re good bait!”

“Shut the hell up Christina, cast your fire magic already!”

Running around like an idiot chased by a horde of goblins numbering around 50, I ran out from the forest at breakpace pace.

Who said that it was a small colony?

Goblins breed at an accelerated rate. A small colony could easily turn into a horde given enough time.

“[Fire-Ball]!”

A medium-sized fireball shot out from where Christina was standing, its trajectory headed straight toward me:

“Ah! You missed! You missed on purpose!”

“-Tch, I almost hit him.”

“You were aiming for me?!”

We spent the entire day clearing out the monsters in the forest from the edge, because we had an entire week to do it we decided to keep it safe and cull their numbers slowly and head deeper and deeper into the small forest each day.

There seemed to be an unlimited number of goblins, and a little bit of undead.

But the first 3 days went without any complications, with my [Lure] skill I was used as bait to lure the monsters out, where Ionia, Christina and Ali would cut them down.

After cutting some heads, we all settled in the bath and went to sleep. And it was repeated.

Of course, I slept on the cold hard floor beside Ionia’s bed.

But that’s because I've grown used to sleeping on cold hard surfaces. And that I begin to feel sick in my stomach if I even try to sleep on an extremely rich, cushioned and comfortable bed.

There was nothing out of the usual.

This was going to be an easy 2000 silvers, split evenly that would be 500 silvers for each of us.

But on the fourth day:

“What kind of mansion doesn’t have any expensive booze? I’ll take anything. Just give me a drink~ Hah~”

After a long day of fighting monsters, the sun had finally set.

I craned my neck backward on the lavish seat in the bedroom, I could feel my body slowly healing as all the soreness and fatigue melted away from my body.

Ionia switched on the magic-powered lights in the large bedroom and it completely lit up. She had heard my complaining and retorted back:

“Oh? I thought it was you who said: ‘We’re here on a quest, not to experience Mr Richie Rich’s estate!’. What’s gotten into you, withdrawal symptoms from being away from booze for too long?”

“Isn’t it weird? In such a large house, Mortimer only serves simple foods. I was expecting lavish feasts, and booze to drink every night when I arrived.”

After a long day of fighting, a large feast was the only thing on my mind. I had high expectations after walking in, but there was no such exquisite feast.

“I hate to admit it but I feel a little disappointed too, but didn’t Mortimer say that his servants were sent home? That includes the kitchen staff too, you should be grateful that Mortimer is accommodating us like this regardless, usually we would have to sit outside in our own make-shift tents for faraway kill quests like this.”

Ionia was correct, lavish feasts couldn’t be made by one person, it would take a lot of effort

But before I could complain anymore, the wooden floor trembled as I heard a resounding thud from the room adjacent to ours, followed by a high pitched scream.

“Christina?!” x2

Ionia and I grabbed our weapons, rushing out to the hallway, kicking Christina and Ali’s door right open.

We were met with an interesting sight.

The layout of the room Christina and Ali were assigned was the same as ours, it had a large bed, a few lavish seats, a nice table, and a large empty space just before the balcony.

The detailed carpet’s design was ruined, soaked and desecrated in rotting blood, with an unrecognisable decomposed undead zombie layed face-first holding an iron mace.

In front of the bed was Christina, facing the zombie, holding an empty glass bottle, and Ali sleeping peacefully on the large couch beside the bed.

“An undead? It came through the balcony?”

Seeing as though the immediate threat was already dealt with, I asked calmly, rushing to Christina’s side, pulling out my blade. Ionia did the same.

“That’s right, I threw Lesser Holy Water on it. So it’s dead now.”

“Slate, confirm the kill.”

Ionia glared cautiously at the rotting corpse, its flesh was stinking up the room.

Holy Water was great for undead or demonic beings, and would definitely kill lower levelled undead like zombies with a single splash, but it never hurt to be cautious.

“[Turn Undead]!”

As a Holy Crusader, I knew the minimum holy spells learnt by priests, that included [Turn Undead].

The moment I cast [Turn Undead], all evidence of the zombie, its blood and excrement completely disappeared, vanishing into thin air. The carpet looked brand new, as it was before.

What was an undead doing right outside the mansion? There were no signs of them in the forest

Without a word, I ran out to the balcony, my eyes quickly scanning the area around.

“That was the only one.”

Ionia joined me as we rushed out to investigate, her voice filled with urgency.

With no risks sighted, we turned to face Christina.

“It definitely climbed onto the balcony and entered from there, luckily I didn’t sleep too early.”

Christina let out a deep sigh of relief, her blonde hair tousled and unkempt as if she had been interrupted while brushing it, likely by the sudden intrusion of the zombie.

“-What’s going on in here?”

Mortimer, the paled skin owner’s boots mutley tapped against the carpeted ground as he stepped into the room.

He looked around with a confused expression, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

From his perspective, nothing looked to have happened. All evidence of the zombie was purified with [Turn Undead].

“A zombie broke into the guest room. Is this what you meant by undead in the quest?!”

Ionia grabbed the middle of Mortimer’s clean buttoned up and roared.

“W-What are you talking about? A zombie? That’s never happened before! I’m so sorry. I assumed you purified it, yes? I apologise for the threat to your safety, do you want a more secure room?”

Although his face already had a pale complexion, it seemed to have paled even more after the revelation of the incident.

“Yes! And we’ll all stay there together! I thought we would be fighting monsters in the forest during the day, but it seems like we have to be wary of night attacks from random undead!”

Ionia let go of Mortimer and heaved a quick snort through her nose.

“-Damn, if we agreed to all sleep in separate rooms… Ali or Christina would be dead now.”

I could hear Ionia muttering under her breath.

“I’m very sorry! Please do your best with this quest, this only reaffirms that this place is too dangerous for my servants and future family. I’ll continue supporting you all, just get rid of these monsters!”

Mortimer, sensing Ionia's discomfort, offered a slight bow, his eyes betraying a hint of guilt as they squinted slightly.

“There’s no need to change rooms. Everyone can just stay with Ionia and I. I’ll put up an undead repellent square. I should have done that the moment we walked in. You should stay with us, Mortimer.”

I offered, it wasn’t safe for Mortimer to be alone, considering what just happened.

Zombies weren’t strong, and could be killed easily by any decent beginner levelled adventurer. But their touch was very lethal, and just about anyone could be killed by a zombie without proper protection.

“Ah… No, thank you but that’s fine.”

“Eh, why? Didn’t you hear what just happened?”

Ionia raised her brow.

“The master bedroom is sufficiently protected with built-in anti-undead and anti-demonic repellents. I should be safe there.”

That makes sense.

“Are you sure, Mortimer?”

This time, it was Christina who spoke.

“I’m positive. Please just focus on getting rid of those monsters.”

Mortimer assured before quickly leaving, his footsteps were haste.

When he left, Ionia’s attention turned to Ali. Who was sleeping soundly on the couch.

“-Also, why is Ali sound asleep?”

Christina jolted slightly.

“W-Well, doesn’t he always turn in early? And he’s always a heavy sleeper.”

I know Christina was telling the truth, but I know she was hiding something.

I saw some mysterious pills on the counter, beside a half-full glass of water.

“Ah.” x2

The dots immediately connected in my and Ionia’s head.

“What do you mean ‘ah’?!”

I grabbed the pills, and dangled it in front of Christina’s face.

“What is this?”

“T-That’s a… That’s an acne pill! It improves acne and makes your face look clearer!”

“So, if I ingest this right now, I won’t suddenly start feeling sleepy and fall asleep like Ali, right?”

“No! Shut up! It’s an acne pill! I don’t even do anything… I just stare at his face… And admire it… Hah… Hah… Haaaah… Anyways! It’s an acne pill!”

Ah, she’s breathing lewdly.

You’re not very convincing.

Christina grabbed the pills from me with a teary expression.

Ladies and gentlemen, sexual predators don’t look scary or ugly like you’ve been told in books and posters. They’re sometimes very cute and beautiful people, and sometimes women too. LIke Christina.

Please be careful, everyone. If you feel like you’re being creeped on in a weird way, please tell someone. Like a friend, or family member.

“I’ll carry Ali to our room.”

With that, on the fourth day, we set up our new sleeping quarters in Ionia and my assigned room. I drew up an anti-undead barrier and we took turns in shifts to stay up and watch.

…

Part 6

As if to apologise for the incident, when we walked down to the dining area, we were met with a spectacular feast on the large rectangular dining table.

The feast was a sight to behold, with an array of delicacies spanning the table's length.

Steaming dishes of savoury meats, fragrant herbs, and vibrant vegetables beckoned invitingly, while bowls of rich sauces and condiments added a tantalising aroma to the air.

Ionia’s nose was lured there too, she was already sitting on the dining table waiting for us to come.

“Come on! Come on guys! Sit down already, I wanna eat!”

Ionia’s eyes sparkled, drool dripping from her mouth as her gaze alone pierced the juicy smoking chicken set in front of her.

Standing beside Ionia was Mortimer, who looked a little bit fatigued.

“I feel as if I was mostly responsible for the incident last night, please eat, this is to make it up to you all.”

Mortimer bowed slightly.

By this time, Ali was told about what happened last night.

Ali was furious, and walked down with us not only lured too by the delicious smells of breakfast, but also to give Mortimer a verbal lashing about the mansion’s safety.

But Ali’s expression softened after seeing Mortimer bow sincerely, with the apology offering of food.

“T-Thanks, Mortimer. You didn’t have to do that.”

“-Shut up already! I want to eat! I want to eat! Sit down!”

Ionia was restless, her thin toned calves swayed forward and backward in the air. The chair was too high up for her feet to touch the ground.

This entire time, her line of sight was laser focused onto the chicken, never wavering.

“W-Where’s the booze.”

Ionia was happy, but I looked on with an expression of utter despair.

“Sorry… I don’t have that, I wasn’t a drinker.”

T-There was no booze…

“Nooo!”

Back hunched and with deep slothful steps, I dragged my feet and pulled out the chair beside Ionia to sit down.

Everyone else sat, and began to feast.

There was enough food to feed two entire families, but Ionia’s plate seemed the biggest.

“Are you worried about not growing properly? Ionia? Don’t eat all the chicken! Hey! After a certain amount, your body will just stop absorbing calories and excrete it all out, you know?!”

I looked over to Ionia, the skin around her lips were shing wet gravy, sauce and dripping fat. She had finished 2 whole chickens, 3 steaks and was digging in for another. Her stomach was a little bit more rounded than before too.

There’s no way such a small body could fit that much food…

“Shaddap, dumbass.”

Ionia looked at me, grabbing the drumstick of the last whole chicken on her plate and smirked, with a smug superior look on her face.

…

With our energy replenished for the fifth day, we entered the forest deeper than last time and continued hunting monsters.

By this time, there were no more signs of any more goblins. We had destroyed the main nest, so any goblin issues wouldn’t happen in the far future unless they come in from somewhere else.

The forest wasn’t dark, or too thick but there wasn’t any designated trail so it was easy to get lost. But since it was a small forest, you could run in any direction for a while and be greeted with flat plains.

But, despite the goblins completely disappearing, there had been an increasing amount of undead.

“Where are these undead coming from?!”

I slashed a zombie’s head off before moving onto the next.

For an experienced adventurer like me, zombies weren’t much of a threat.

“We need to find the source now! There has to be a higher level undead in here somewhere.”

Today, we decided to go as deep as we can to cut off the problem at its source.

After exploring and cutting down more undead, we finally found it.

“A Lesser Lich. Easy pickings. It seems to be the only one.”

Ali pointed his rapier toward the Lesser Lich, it was a skeleton wearing dark shredded robe, and was capable of passively summoning undead and casting beginner fire spells.

A Lesser Lich was a commanding mid-tier undead. But we came from an Intermediate Adventurer town, so Lesser Liches weren’t a problem for us.

But it was definitely the cause of the increased number of undead.

–

“Ah, that was easy. What’s left is to cull out any remaining undead or monsters the next day and we’ll be home safe and sound the next!”

Walking back toward the estate, I stretched my arms in self-satisfaction.

“You just raised a flag.”

Ionia covered her face with her palm, and sighed.

“Raise a flag? What does that mean?”

I raised my brow in confusion, looking down at Ionia.

“It means that if you say something like ‘we’re done!’ or ‘we’re gonna be home safe and sound’ or ‘something is wrong here/something is off’ then it’s more likely to happen.”

For the first time, Ionia said something ridiculous.

“You read way too many books.”

…

We all took turns getting into the bathhouse.

It was late night now, you could hear the crickets chirping.

Ali and Christina were just about done and returned to their sleeping quarters, and I was waiting outside the bathhouse room for Ionia to finish up.

“Hurry up already.”

I tapped my feet restlessly, and loudly groaned. But of course, Ionia couldn’t hear me.

I’ll be honest with you, the Bathhouse was fucking amazing.

Just sitting in that steam-filled room made me relax, dipping in the hot water just made my entire body melt into it, like an ice cube in a cup of steamy hot water. The warmth seeped into my very soul, it healed my exhausted fatigued body, and remedied my mind too.

Mortimer’s design was genius. I love that guy.

But because it’s so amazing, Ionia would probably soak in there for about an hour.

I thought that I would have to wait a while in pure anticipation, but suddenly I felt fast-paced vibrations on the floor, followed by wet running footsteps coming from the bathhouse.

“-Eek!”

The door to the bathhouse quickly flung open.

I was met with a frightened dripping Ionia, her wet silver hair dripped with fresh water onto the towel she was equipped with.

She was trembling in fear as she exclaimed:

“-Ah! Slate! I think I saw a ghost! Go! Exorcise it or something! You’re a Holy Crusader. It must have been a spirit from one of the undead corpses!”

“No.”

My answer was swift.

“-Huh?”

Ionia’s mouth opened slightly and her expression froze.

“I said: No!”

“-Why?!”

Breaking free from her stunned state, she grabbed onto my blue leather top.

“What’s in it for me? Let’s say I do it, you’re just gonna go back in and relax for like, 2 hours.”

I crossed my arms, forcing her grip off of my top.

“So?!”

“Why do you take so long?! I want to soak in there too! When I exorcise the ghost, I’ll let you soak for 5 more minutes and then you have to leave so I can get in. Understood?!”

Curling my fingers into claws, I bent down slightly as I made that deal with a stern voice.

“-N-No way! Isn’t that inhumane, doesn’t that go against the teachings of your church?! I will settle with 1 hour and a half of soaking instead of the 3 hours I planned!”

“You’re pretty cocky for someone asking for a favour, an hour and a half?! Do you even know how to make a deal? That’s not even a compromise!”

“-Aargh! Please just exorcise the ghost! I can’t bathe in peace with that thing around. It’s acting like a creepy old man, staring at me with a lecherous gaze. And when I put a towel around my body to cover up, it just floats beneath me and looks up the towel skirt! Please just deal with it!”

Tears welled up in Ionia's eyes as she pleaded.

“Alright, here’s my compromise: I will exorcise it for you, but I don’t want to have to wait for you to finish bathing. So we will bathe together to save time.”

Through the narrow slit of my helmet, a holy light in my eyes gleamed out.

I didn’t want to wait 3 god damned hours to bath!

“W-What?! Then what’s the point of exorcising that perverted old man ghost?! I’d just be replacing it with you.”

Defensively, Ionia wrapped her arms around herself and gave me a cautious look.

But she was still trembling.

“You say that as if I’m interested in your body. Don’t look at me like I’m some sort of predator, Christina is the predator!”

“Well… You’ve never perved on me for the year we’ve known each other, I’ll give that to you. But it’s still weird!”

Exactly!

“Mhm, when I look at you. I don’t think of a woman, so it should be fine.”

“?!”

Hearing my statement, Ionia straightened up and went completely silent.

“...When you look at me, you don’t think of a woman, huh?”

Ionia's voice took on an oddly calm and controlled tone as she glared at the ground, her gaze weirdly soft.

Then suddenly, with fiery determination in her eyes Ionia grit her teeth, gripping her hands into fists with her brows clenching tightly:

“-I’ll have you know that I’m an of age young woman with a cute hour-glass figure! Fine! Since you’re so embarrassed to have a sexy beautiful woman like me to bathe with you then I’ll lead you in with me!”

With a heavy blush and a prideful determination, Ionia grabbed my hand and forcefully dragged me into the bathhouse.

…

“[Exorcise]!”

With a towel around my waist, and Ionia standing right behind me, I exorcised the lingering spirit that came as a result of the undead killing spree we did earlier today.

[Exorcise] was a spell that worked on Demons and Spirits like this, Spirits weren’t malicious or dangerous but in order to transcend into the heavenly realm, they had to be exorcised. So, I was doing the spirit a favour.

“Is it gone? Finally.”

Ionia heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

“I don’t know why you’re so scared of simple spirits, they don’t hurt you, you know?”

“That bastard was creepily staring at me while I was naked and peeked under the towel when I was covering myself up, didn’t I already tell you that? That old guy was a creep!”

Ah, right.

“It’s good that he’s gone then, alright. Time to soak.”

As per compromise, we would bathe together.

Don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to soak as soon as possible. And the bathhouse was large enough to accommodate multiple families.

“Ah~ this is amazing.”

Back to my old spot, I went neck-deep.

My entire body was submerged in pleasureable steamy hot water.

This! This is what I wanted!

On the other side, keeping her distance was a silver-haired girl keeping her back to me and she too was relaxed.

“Yep…”

Ionia blissfully replied, her eyes completely shut as she leaned her face onto her forearms while half submerged.

In the warm relaxing atmosphere, Ionia’s words echoed out:

“-Say… You’re a Holy Crusader, right?”

“Yep.”

“-Why don’t you act like one?”

“Want to tell me exactly what you mean by that, eh?”

I opened my eyes, and cracked my knuckles, preparing for a fight.

Ionia’s blissful insults continued:

“You can start by quitting alcohol then gambling, followed by your bad habit of harassing wait staff and then we can top it all off by taking your helmet off.”

“Why does everyone have shit to say about my helmet? If you have a proper argument, lay it on to me now! Don’t you have anything good to say to me? Actually, stand up, let’s fight.”

“Absolutely not.”

Ionia turned, flipping her hair back. She grabbed a bucket and poured it over her head.

I didn’t say anything, and simply closed my eyes.

After a brief pause, Ionia spoke up:

“Well… I guess your holy attributes as a Holy Crusader are a little, just a tiny bit useful to our party.”

I had my eyes closed, so I couldn’t tell what kind of expression she was making as she said that.

“-Even though your personality is the opposite of holy.”

“You could have just ended it at that last sentence before.”

…

Part 7

“I don’t think we should be snooping around like this.”

Despite the darkness outside, it felt too early to retire for the night. Thus, after luxuriating in the bathhouse for a couple of hours, Ionia proposed a brilliant plan.

“My explorative thief senses are tingling! I can’t help it! Slate, we must explore more!”

Even if that was just an excuse for curiosity, thieves are really more likely to enjoy exploring places and sneaking around just like we are doing now. That was essentially their main job after all, to scout locations and explore unexplored dungeons and places.

Ionia’s green eyes glistened in the darkness.

We had been at it for around 20 minutes already, avoiding Mortimer’s room we opened every door on the second floor, and looked around, and it was as expected.

As I swung open the door leading to the expansive backyard of the estate, a chill ran down my spine, accompanied by a whispered "Cold...".

The hairs on my arms stood on end as I stepped out into the open space. The backyard was a verdant oasis, slightly overgrown with lush greenery. It seemed neglected compared to the manicured front entrance.

“Slate, hey Slate! Look at this!”

With a childish enthusiasm, Ionia had already run to the darkest corner of the backyard and pointed to a shed. But, that was the trick of the eye from my perspective.

She was actually pointing beside it.

Thankfully, the moonlight cast a dark blue shine in the dark backyard. So we were just barely able to make things out visually.

Walking over, we saw brick steps going down into the ground.

This is one of the times where caution should be executed.

“Hey, the door down here is locked.”

Without me noticing, Ionia had made her way all the way down the steps.

“-I have a lock-pick skill. Let’s check it out.”

Ionia’s thief-like curiosity was endearing, and even if exploring more would be rude, I didn’t stop her. I was a little curious too.

“Mhm, this place is definitely suspicious. Mortimer is probably hiding something from us.”

In response to what I said, Ionia turned around slowly:

“H-Hiding something? You just raised another flag! You just raised another flag by saying that!”

“-Well? Want to see if this ‘raising a flag’ thing is true? I’ll give you 100 silvers if you’re right and Mortimer is really hiding something. I doubt it though, it’s probably just storage for gardening tools or something.”

I smirked, and continued:

“-Oh, don’t worry about the bet. I know that you’re scared and already know that I’m correct and that you’re wrong, so we can call the bet off.

Unable to back away from a challenge due to her prideful ego, Ionia puffed her chest and shouted back:

“Prove what, that I’m wrong? No way! Let’s see.”

She’s so easily tricked.

And with her talented thief skills, Ionia quickly unlocked the door.

The wooden door slowly creaked open, I could feel the heart thump in my chest. I gulped in anticipation.

What met my sight was:

“See? It’s just storage like I said. Alright, you can give me the silvers when the quest is over.”

I smirked in self-satisfaction.

“-Wait!”

Ionia walked deeper into the storage room, walking behind the wooden crates and shelves. Behind all the gardening materials was a thin cloak of fabric.

Pulling it down, the storage room was actually bigger than expected.

But most importantly.

“-Gargh.”

“-Argh…”

“-Maaah.”

Upon noticing our presence, the growling of zombies intensified, blending with the clattering of bones from skeletons confined within cages.

Ionia looked at me, and smirked, puffing her chest out with complete and utter pride with a “Heh.”. She didn’t say anything, but her expression told me: ‘See, i was right after all!’. And that was really infuriating.

“Don’t smirk at me like that after seeing those zombies and skeletons in cages! We need to get out of here-”

Ionia interrupted me:

“-See! I told you! If you say ominous things, a flag will be raised and this happens! Hey, tell me that I’m right! Yes, I, Ionia the brilliant thief was correct all along!”

“How does that even work?! Wait, this isn’t the time and place to be arguing about this!”

In panic, I quickly turned around and prepared to leave.

But, standing at the top of the stairs in the moonlight and beautiful stars was a well-dressed man, with a pale complexion that hosted a neutral expression. His form is obscured by the shadows cast from the twisted branches of nearby trees. His attire, though elegant, seemed to meld seamlessly with the darkness around him, giving him an almost sinister appearance.

“So… You found out, huh?”

Mortimer remarked, his sharp gaze penetrating from above.

After noticing Mortimer’s intimidating presence, Ionia looked at him, then turned her gaze back to me.

“See! Like I said, you raised the flag! You raised the fucking flag!”

“Shut the fuck up Ionia!”

I karate chopped her head.

…

Part 8

My name is Mortimer Raven, allow me to quickly fill you in.

I’m a merchant, or at least, was a merchant, a very successful one in fact! I made a large fortune with a spectacular deal, and that deal included a fresh mansion and a load of cash.

Of course, I’m rich from my own merchant and businessman abilities. But everything changed when I was turned into an undead lich.

I bought an item that was supposed to “give me great power”. And that’s how I turned into an undead. For some reason, I still wear the skin of a human and have human physical characteristics, I’m sure I could blend it just fine in a town.

But, my Lich instincts forced me to keep far away from human settlements, and stay secluded.

I had lost my humanity… But I didn’t mind that, I did get a little bit stronger after all.

I’ll be frank with you, I did not invite these adventurers here to kill them if anyone was thinking that.

I really did need the monsters in the forest killed.

Though I’m a lich, I’m not very strong. And I can only get stronger by killing monsters, just like human adventurers.

But, the forest was too much for me. I almost died when I tried to farm some levels.

So I put up a quest so adventurers could come and deal with them for me.

But they just had to stick their noses in my backyard storage place!

-Anyways, in front of me were:

“-Ow! What did you hit me for?! That hurt! Owowowo…”

The silver-haired thief grasped her head, crouching down in pain as the helmeted man reprimanded her.

“Idiot! Now’s not the time for your shit.”

“Not the time?! Oh yes it is! It’s your fault ‘cause you raised a flag. See! See! Look, Mortimer is looking at us with an angry bitter expression, the type the villain in a novel makes when you thwart his evil mastermind plan!”

The little thief girl had her index finger directly pointed up toward me, but her attention was completely directed at the helmeted man before her.

Um, I don’t really have an evil mastermind plan. I just want to farm levels without getting killed.

And my expression was more cold and confused.

“Hey, guys… Calm down, okay? Stop fighting with each other.”

I meekly interjected.

“Stay out of this!” x2

They both shouted in harsh unison directed at me, causing me to pause mid-step on the stairs.

“Fine, if you want to play the blame game then let’s start with the person who led us down here in the first place! It was you! So stop blaming that Mortimer is actually evil because of me!”

I’m not evil.

Perhaps fed-up of the silver-haired girl’s bickering, the helmeted crusader bent downward to meet the silver-haired girl at eye-level, and childishly shouted while tapping her upper chest with his index finger repeatedly.

What should I be doing in this situation?

I stood awkwardly still.

I don’t have much experience being a villain, I only turned into a lich a few months ago! Wait, No! I’m not a villain! I’m not a damned villain!

“But, but! You’re the one who’s been raising these suspicious flags all day!”

“Hey guys-”

“Shut up! X2”

They continued to bicker some more.

I stood there, silently listening to their argument drag on endlessly, seemingly ignorant to my presence, or as if they had something better to do.

Even after several long minutes passed, they showed no signs of stopping.

“Hey, guys, will you listen-”

“Keep your mouth shut or I’ll shove this dagger down your throat you stupid villain!”

Ionia threatened me, her eyes flashing with anger.

“-Listen to me, you fools!”

With a roar, I raised my arms and released my undead aura.

That caught their attention.

…

Finally realising the depth of our situation, I turned back and drew my sword. Ionia did the same

“Mortimer, what’s up with these zombies! And this aura… You’re an undead too. A Middle Lich.”

My reply seemed to elicit a hint of relief from Mortimer. His expression shifted ever so slightly, betraying a sense of dopamine.

We made him wait too long… I’m sorry.

“That’s right, Slate. I’m an undead lich. You adventurers were so close to finishing up the quest and leaving. The monsters in the forest are thinned out too. Why couldn’t you have just returned to your rooms and just kept to yourselves…”

Rather than anger, Mortimer's tone carried a hint of disappointment. His voice tinged with a sense of resignation.

Ionia got her act together, and stepped up:

“-There’s no way we can keep to ourselves now knowing that you’re a lich. What was the true purpose of the quest, was it to lure us into this dungeon and steal our vitality?”

Ionia had a fierce gaze, tightening her grip on her dagger prepared to dodge any attack.

Mortimer let out a “Hm” before replying:

“No, I really wanted you guys to clear out the forest for me. You guys did, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Mortimer dropped his arms, his posture sagging as if the strings attached had been cut completely.

“Lies! You planned to kill us one by one! That’s why you were so insistent on making sure we stayed in separate rooms!”

Mortimer seemed taken aback by this:

“N-No… I actually wanted to show you good hospitality and… And give you all separate rooms, I know you adventurers sleep in poor taverns and inns, so I thought ‘ah, these people are doing me a great favour by coming here, so how about I show them a life of a noble?’. I-I even ironed and w-washed the bed sheets for you all, and all the spares.”

Mortimer's voice was barely above a whisper, his gaze fixed on the ground, his shoulders hunched in defeat.

As if trying to gain an unseen initiative, Ionia replied harshly:

“-Then, what about the time the zombie attacked us in Christina’s room. You thought that Christina and Ali were sleeping, and sent it from this basement to their room to kill them, how do you explain that?!”

Ionia's accusation was met with a feeble response as Mortimer listlessly responded in a low and quiet voice, his head pointed to the ground as he slouched, trying to make himself look small in front of Ionia’s harsh tone:

“...I l-left one of the cages u-unlocked that night, and it roamed out to attack the nearest source of life as undead usually do… Sniff… I felt r-r-really b-bad about it so I spent a-all night h-hunting, gathering materials and spices and created that h-h-h-huge lavish meal for you all… Sniff. Sniff. When I looked at the satisfied looks on your faces afterwards, and watched the little girl e-enjoy it… Sniff… It made me feel a w-warmth I haven’t felt in a long t-t-time… Snif… Sniff…”

H-Hey stop it… I’m starting to feel bad, I’m starting to feel really really bad.

Each passing word just seemed to get smaller and smaller.

He’s stuttering his words and his sniffling was getting worse as time went on!

I’m even seeing tears form in the corner of his eyes, stop it, Ionia!

With no self-awareness, she did not.

“Do you expect us to believe that?! Slate, purify him. Hmph!”

“No no please! Don’t purify me! I wasn’t supposed to become a lich, I swear it on my mother’s grave. I really didn’t invite you all here with bad intentions or anything, please don’t take my consciousness away. I beg of you”

As if the roles weren’t completely reversed yet, the undead lich Mortimer went on his knees and begged with tears streaming down his face.

Ionia was the most hard-headed person in the room, but even she began to feel a bit bad.

“-Hey Ionia.”

My blunt voice escaped the slits of my helmet.

“...Yes?”

“-Apologise, now.”

“Er… I… Uhm…”

Ionia scratched her head, her face riddled with a mixture of uncertainty, pity, confusion and guilt as she looked up at Mortimer.

Mortimer slammed his fist against the floor before craning his upper body toward the sky, screaming into the air, his anguish echoing through the room.

“I’ve lost my three great desires: Hunger, Sleep and Lust! I can’t sleep, I can’t eat my favourite foods and ‘it’ won’t get up! What’s so wrong with trying to gain more power, huh?! What else can I live for?!”

We both walked up the stairs, and comforted the lich.

“H-Hey, I understand mate. It’s okay man, I understand. Don’t cry man.”

“I-I’m sorry for shouting at you like that… I should have been a little more, uhm, understanding.”

Feeling some sort of pity, we pat his head and back.

…

Part 9

The next day–

“-So, that’s how it is. I refuse to purify Mortimer, no matter what you say. As a Holy Crusader, I have my pride.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna kill him even if you pay me.”

The next morning, in the mansion, we stood with our backs facing the frightened Mortimer, and our fronts directly pointed toward Christina and Ali, our other companions.

Christina flicked her blonde unkempt hair to the side and rubbed her eyes as she yawned.

Ali stood cautiously, his hand on the hilt of his thin fencer blade.

“He can’t… Get it up? How horrible. I knew some liches who were formally human who still can…”

Ali muttered under his breath.

“I feel a little bad for him too, even if he is an undead.”

Christina gave an uncomfortable forced smile.

We had briefed them on the pity-story Mortimer had told us, and they reacted the same way we did.

“Hey, it’s okay. We won’t tell the guild about you.”

Christina walked toward Mortimer and put her hand on his shoulder.

Protocol says that we should tell the guild about Mortimer being a Lich, but due to how pathetic the situation was, we decided not to.

“T-Thanks…”

Ali was still slightly cautious, even after being softened by Moritimer’s fearful expression, he asked:

“Let’s say we let you live, will you go out and kill the living?”

“Absolutely not! I was formally human, you know? It’s true that I feel apathetic and numb about human lives now and feel a small desire to kill anything that’s living, but I can still increase my stats and level up by battling monsters.”

“Good.”

Ali seemed to be satisfied with that.

You’re satisfied? Didn’t he just say that he has a small desire to kill anything that’s living? What logic are you using, Ali?

But I too was satisfied, Mortimer didn’t seem to be the type of guy to lie, or kill indiscriminately.

“-Also, you’ve all culled out the forest well enough for me to finally start levelling up by myself. You can consider the quest done, you all can go back home now. Just make sure to remove all anti-undead spells you cast while you were here…”

Mortimer bowed once again, but deeper than usual.

“Are you sure? What’s going to happen to you?”

Ali asked.

“I’ll keep living like how I am, I’m experimenting with the undead to see if I can get my human desires back.”

Mortimer looked to the side with an empty expression.

“Aw, we’re leaving already?”

“Yep!”

Christina hugged Ionia tightly from behind before we gathered our things to walk out the front door.

“-Then visit us when you feel up to it, okay?!”

Before we walked out, Ionia smiled brightly and waved back toward Mortimer.

“I don’t like populated places, but I sure will!”

Mortimer smiled back.

…

On the way back home, our carriage was attacked by a horde of Trap-Rabbits.

“Ah! Slate, remember yesterday evening when you said we would go and be safe and sound? That was a flag, that was a fucking flag! And I told you it was a flag the moment you raised it!”

Ionia shouted with a teary expression while slashing the invading rabbits with her daggers.

In response to her worthless complaints, I threw a Trap-Rabbit toward her direction.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?!”

…

[End Chapter 1]