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A complicated man with a simple dream
A shitty situation (Chapter 8)

A shitty situation (Chapter 8)

*three days before the El kabong incident 

Our hero awoke to an odd feeling, having swallowed a total of 22 cyan crystals last night he assumed that was the reason for the strange sensation. The other five had gone to the mighty Sir Snuggles. [just imagine a ridiculously extravagant and flamboyant title here unfortunately I don't have the time nor patience to come up with one]

He quickly got up and asked sir Snuggles what was said sensation but upon looking in his direction he found a near 30 foot tall jet black wolf. Sir Snuggles was the first to say something.

(Hello human do you wish to know how to transform.)

(Dear gods yes, this would be a dream come true.)

(OK then try focusing on your will to survive.)

Lucius[though he doesn't know that's his name] then sat for what felt like hours but was probably minutes, before making any kind of breakthrough.

(I feel this ... this weird deep emotion, or maybe strength inside.)

(Yes that's it reach for that and you will transform into your races greatest predator.)

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"AWWWWW AWW AH SHIT GODAMMIT MY ENTIRE BODY IS ON FIRE FUCK YOU AAAAAHHHHHHH ... oh hey cool I'm a dragon."

(I told you)

(Why didn't you tell me it would hurt like that?)

(Because it was funny to see your reaction.)

(Some son you are.)

(I AM NOT YOUR CHILD YOU OVERGROWN DRAGON MONKEY!)

*sniff sniff

(I'm just trying to watch out for my boy)

(I holda very deep enmity for you. If I didn't think you were destined to become the most powerful thing on the planet I would wish you a Merry eternity of burning in hell.)

(I love you too.)

*giant wolf equivalent of a sigh

(Okay now that you're a dragon try speaking the dova tongue.)

(What's that?)

(Just say status.) 

"Status"

{Dragon status}

Strength:5,000

Endurance:800

Agility/dexterity:600

Luck:666

(Why is my luck that exact number?)

(It seems the demon lord has granted you his blessing. That's good well good for you anyway.)

(Okay so are my stats good?)

(Well yes seeing as how the average human had around 5-15 in each stat and usually 2-3 in luck you have good stats. Well disciplined human warriors can sometimes get 30-40 in everything but luck you can't train luck, and before you ask those are your human stats as well.)

(Oh cool so I'm like an extreme badass now.)

(That's a crude way of putting it, but yes.) sir Snuggles said as he transformed out of his wolf form.

"I'm hungry let's hunt some giant wolves."

(Yeah sure why not I was planning on destroying the rest of my race anyway.)

(You're not very nice are you.) 

(No, no I'm not)

(Oh hey before we leave what do I do if i, you know have to go.)

(Just go it's not hard.)

(Okay if you say so.)

Our hero then went to take a massive [even by dragon standards] dragon shit before annihilating some monster sized wolves.