The cold ocean wind blew against his skin. He could feel his own hands shaking.
The entire time, Nentonia simply listened, not saying a single thing. Her eyes were wide open, attentively listening to every single word.
He looked up at the moon and drew in a deep breath.
“I just sat there until eventually the golem and dragon killed each other. I forgot how many hours that took. By some freak miracle, I didn’t get to die. When I finally got out of that cave, the rumors began spreading.”
“...About you killing a dragon?” Nentonia asked.
He scoffed. “Ridiculous, isn’t it? But I didn’t deny it. In the end, my old friends at the desert were right. No matter how far I run, I was never able to escape the desert.” Slowly, he began laughing—something he hasn’t done in years. He laughed hysterically at the moon. And when he finally calmed down, he said, “Now look at me. After all this time, I've become a hero. One with a dumb fucking title, like the two of us dreamed. I have burned brighter than a hundred suns. Absurd, right? Now, the desert can never turn me to ash. No flame can. In my eyes, that's the cruelest thing this world has ever done to me. I’m tired. My insides are charcoal. I’ve burned enough."
[https://i.imgur.com/IykYuxZ.png]
Instead of being punished for his mistake, he was rewarded with his dream. He got everything he wanted when it didn’t matter anymore. He was revered, immortalized in songs, showered with praises and wealth from all across the world.
His unpunished sins have festered in his throat, suffocating him through every waking moment. All of his dreams have become swords in his flesh him like a pin cushion, forever reminding him of who he is.
“So why are you still alive?”
Nentonia asked so casually that it was comforting to him. He already knew his answer.
“...Because I’m a coward. When the desert scared me, I ran away and became an adventurer. When my own incompetence scared me, I ran away and lived recklessly. When my sins scared me, I ran away and became a hero. It’s the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I know how to do. I can’t bring myself to end it. All I can do in the end is wait for someone else to do it for me.”
“So you’re heading to Feralter to die. Is that it?”
“I just want to be judged.”
“And will you find it there?”
“I sure as hell won’t find it here.” He looked up at the stars and sighed. “Sorry for making you listen to all that shit.”
Nentonia chuckled. “You’re actually apologizing? That’s rare. But still, I’m glad you told me.”
He turned to face her. Nentonia’s raven black hair reflected the moonlight, and her eyes shined like the stars themselves. She was one-to-one with the night sky. Beautiful. Mesmerizing. Cold.
“What did you mean when you said, ‘pain will complete us’?” he finally asked. “Even after all that pain I went through, am I still incomplete?”
She turned to him and smiled. She softly brushed her hand against his as she leaned closer. “The night is still long, no? Follow me.”
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Where?” he asked.
“To my room. I’m going to thank you for sharing your story, that’s all.” she whispered into his ear, her lips almost brushing his cheek. She pulled back, her face mere inches away from his, as she wore a suggestive smile.
He scoffed.
“Enough with the teasing. What are you trying to do?”
She giggled. “You know me so well now, huh? I would’ve liked if you became flustered for a bit, but I guess that’s asking for too much.” She turned and started walking away. “Since you told me your story, I just thought it’d be fair to tell you mine. It’s getting cold here, so I’ll be in my room. And I’ll let you know now that it’s rude to keep a lady waiting!”
She waved as she disappeared underneath the deck, leaving Kalaman alone under the night sky. He looked up, and gave out the biggest sigh of his life.
He was amused at the fact that he felt disappointed. He didn’t even know he was still capable of these emotions anymore.
†
“What happened here?”
Kalaman had just arrived at the upper deck after he heard a very loud explosion. He immediately went to ask Armei, who was sitting against one of the railings with her knees to her chest.
“Kalaman, I...” She looked up at him with a miserable expression.
He looked at the charred floorboards. Only Armei’s spells were capable of this kind of damage. Which meant...
“Did you find the assassin?” he asked.
“I ... n-no.” Armei lowered her head. “I messed up. I got too ... agitated, and as a result, I hit Remina with a Fireball.”
Messed up. So she hasn’t figured it out yet.
“I see. Is she alive?”
“...Yes. I don’t think her arm will work anymore, though.”
“Where is she now?” He scanned the area. Aside from some crew members, it was only Armei. Remina, Nentonia, and Jarvarax were nowhere to be found.
“The cleric took her below deck and is healing her,” Armei replied with frustration in her voice. “She’s probably in her room.”
“I see. I must’ve missed them while coming here, then.”
Without wasting any time, Kalaman headed under deck. He walked along the wooden halls towards Remina’s room. However, he stopped just at the door. There were voices inside.
“You know, Rem, I do consider you a friend. I really do,” the voice spoke. “Joining this party was fun. You and Kalaman taught me so many new things. I really love you guys. So even if you were lying earlier, Rem, I’m still glad you consider me a friend too.”
He heard Nentonia’s gentle voice, talking slowly and clearly like she usually did. And she heard someone else’s faint gasps and groans, as if she wanted to scream but couldn’t.
“I’m not going to kill you...” There was a short pause before she continued talking. “We both have that in common, don’t we? Sorry, Rem. I really do want to kill you, but I can’t. I made a promise with someone. Recently, someone told me he’d accept me for all that I am. That’s why I’m going to start living as myself. So I’m glad we were both able to be honest with each other.”
After saying that, Nentonia opened the door and left the room. She closed the door behind her and turned to face him.
“Oh, you were here,” she said, not at all surprised. “Did you hear all that?”
“Just a bit,” he replied. “Was that the halfling you were talking to?”
She giggled. “What, jealous? Well, she is pretty cute. I might just go back inside and, you know...”
“Nentonia.”
“I know, I know. I’m just teasing,” she smiled. “I’m not gonna forget the promise we made that night. But what about you? Have you made a decision?”
“...”
“Better make it fast, Kal. The storm’s about to reach its most rageful,” she said and walked away.
He stood in front of Remina’s door, thinking about what he should do next.
...No, there was no need to think any longer.
All he needed to do was make a choice.
He opened the door and walked in. Remina was on her bed, closing her eyes and breathing heavily. Her pinky finger was in a horrible state of being bent backwards. Perhaps because she was in so much pain, she failed to notice him.
As he got closer, he noticed her expression. She was very gently smiling. It was the most genuine expression Kalaman’s ever seen her wear.
It didn’t matter.
He took out his blade, and with one motion, stabbed it through the halfling’s neck. The blade sunk so deep that he felt it piercing through the wooden bed and emerging out the underside.
It was quick and silent. She didn’t scream. Her face still held that same smiling expression as the life from her body quickly faded. There was no struggle at all.
He pulled out the blade, and her blood flowed into the bed’s white sheets, dyeing it anew. He sheathed the sword and walked away.
His path was clear. He’ll accept her, just as she accepted him.
And if he was going to burn one last time, then he’d better make it the hottest he’s ever burned.