Nentonia sat on the windowsill, just barely hanging over the edge. The full moon was out tonight, and it brought the cold northern air with it. It was a quiet night, for the most part, save for the distant sound of a crowd below her room. She could hear music and festivities, along with jolly laughter. Yet here she was, alone in her room yet again.

She heard a knock on her door and turned around.

“I was wondering where you were,” Jaysie said with a smile. She was leaning on the already opened door. She just knocked to get her attention.

She was wearing a beautiful dress that complimented her face. Her short brown hair, which the sisters chided her for, saying it was too “unladylike”, was adorned with flowers.

“What’s the star of the party doing here?” Nentonia asked, reciprocating her smile. “The others are going to come looking for you before long.”

“I went out of my way to invite you, and you didn’t show up, so I’m here to be angry at you.” Jaysie approached to stand beside Nentonia, staring at the night sky with her.

Nentonia scoffed. “The others wouldn’t want me there and you know that.”

“Who cares what they think? It’s my party.”

Today was Jaysie’s fourteenth birthday. In a year, she’d be sent to the tower, leaving the rest of them behind. In all these years of her training, she hasn’t once complained, no matter how strict her lessons were. Because of that, the sisters really took a liking to her. Her getting the high priestess rank was all but assured.

“Are you sure you’re fine with it? Becoming high priestess, I mean.” Nentonia asked.

“It’s alright, I guess,” she replied nonchalantly.

“Do you really wanna become one?”

“It’s not that I want to become a high priestess. It’s just that I don’t mind becoming one.”

Nentonia looked at her face. She still wore that same smile she always wore. Her chest tightened, and she found it hard to breath.

Was this normal? she kept asking herself.

“Is something the matter?” Jaysie asked concernedly after noticing Nentonia’s stare.

“Nothing. Just thought you were really pretty,” she replied.

“Ah—pfft, hahaha, what’s that about?” Jaysie laughed as her cheeks reddened slightly.

She laughed, as one would if she heard her friend say a joke like that. “I was being serious,” Nentonia wanted to say. But how would Jaysie react? Would she feel the same way?

Sometime during the past year, Nentonia began to realize things about herself—about how she saw Jaysie. She thought it was strange at first. After all, none of the romance novels she’s read ever had anything like this.

“...I don’t want you to go to that tower,” Nentonia said, hanging her head down.

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“Can’t be helped, right?” she replied. “What are you gonna do after I’m gone?”

“I’d ... come and whisk you away from there,” she replied. “T-then, we’re gonna run, and live somewhere far away together. Then we’ll die together. The end.”

Jaysie didn’t expect a serious answer from her, and was taken aback slightly. Nentonia buried her face in her legs. She didn’t want Jaysie to see her expression. She read about those heroes and princesses in the novels saying stuff like this all the time, but she never knew how embarrassing it could be.

Still, it was what she truly felt.

“If we ran away together, where would we go?”

Suddenly, she felt Jaysie’s hand on top of hers. She raised her head, and almost fell deep into her blue eyes. Their faces were so close that their noses almost touched. Jaysie’s breath was warm on her skin. Nentonia couldn’t think of anything else.

“I don’t know,” Nentonia replied. “We could become travelers, hopping from place to place. Like those adventurers we read about.”

“That would be nice. If you want to run, then let’s run. I would follow you anywhere.”

“You would? But what about the temple?”

Jaysie closed her eyes and rested her forehead on hers. “You know, Nenny? I don’t really care about the temple. The sisters are nice to me, but I don’t really care about them either. The truth is that mothing really matters. At least, not to me.”

Her voice was soft and ticklish, being so close to her ear. She talked calmly, like she always did. But instead of the kind words that she always spoke, which made everyone around her like her, she said words that were cold and distant, yet so beautifully genuine.

“I’ve always lived life as is,” she continued. “When someone wants something from me, then I’ll do it. When they want me to be someone, I’ll be that someone. I’ve never really wanted anything for myself. I tried. I really did. Everyone else had dreams for the future. Things they wanted to have, boys they wanted to be with. But I never really understood. But they expected me to have things like that, so I did. I said that I wanted to have the things they wanted, too. But seeing the world like that is wrong, isn’t it?”

“Jaysie—”

“I don’t know how to be myself,” she interrupted. “Makes sense, right? We’re orphans. I’m sure I used to be someone, back when my parents were around. But now, I’m Jayceran Brava. And soon, I’ll be high priestess Jayceran.”

“...”

There was a hint of melancholy in Jaysie’s voice. She’s never seen this side of her before, and she didn’t really know what to say.

“But if you want me to run away with you, then I’ll do it,” she said. “The only time my life ever made sense was when I’m with you. We can be adventurers, or we could spend our measly lives in that tower together. I think I can do all of it as long as you’re with me. That’s why, from now on, I’m yours, okay?”

“Jaysie, I...” Nentonia couldn’t hear her own voice over her heartbeat. Her face was burning up, and eventually, she just became a mess. Heavy breathing replaced whatever words she wanted to say.

“You don’t need to say anything, Nenny,” she said, as if reading her mind. “I’m just glad that you’re starting to be more open towards me about how you feel.”

“Eh?”

She giggled. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much you’ve been staring at me from time to time. It’s the same look the other girls give to the boys in town whenever we go on errands. I’m not dumb, you know.”

Nentonia wanted to hide under a rock. She thought that her heart would jump out of her chest if this went on. In the end, she went back to burying her face in her knees.

“It’s fun to tease you,” Jaysie said. “I don’t really mind how you look at me. Because nothing matters to me except you.”

Jaysie removed her hands, and Nentonia could no longer feel her breath. She raised her head to see Jaysie walking towards the door.

“I’ve gotta go now before the others come looking for me. You’re still invited, by the way.”

She closed the door behind her, leaving Nentonia with her thoughts. At that moment, a tempest of emotion swirled inside her. The knots in her heart twisted and tangled with each other; unraveling, and getting stuck in other places mere seconds later. She couldn’t get her thoughts in order fast enough to form a coherent thought.

Yet, in addition to that fluffy and floaty feeling she had just remembering Jaysie’s face, there was another urge. When she realized it, her emotions shifted. The happiness was still undoubtedly there. But she knew this feeling well enough to understand the implications.

For the first time in her life, she felt the strange nameless emotion, born from the mixture of joy and fear.

And from then on, she chose to distance herself from Jaysie.