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40 Thousand Reasons
Paranoid - Chapter 101

Paranoid - Chapter 101

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only War.

But war, war is my profession.

Unlike these naive Astartes, who view war as a challenge for honor and glory, I am different.

Always looking for efficient solutions and conservation of health. Humanity may have numbers, but those numbers are horrifically mismanaged. Most of the times, the numbers work against the Imperium, which is so spread out over immense, mind-boggling distances that it cannot even protect its citizens.

And so, I need to use Primarch Khan to protect humanity, while myself figure out a way to save it. Blank genes against the Chaos, the genes of the Catachans spread as much as possible for physical endurance, then weapons, armor and strategy to convert this future strength into striking power.

Primarch Khan now wears a Catachan-style flak suit, with blackstone armor plates inserted to protect vital body parts. Also, a Refractor field on his belt, and a Catachan-style adamantium knife at his hip. He did get to live among my troops for a time, and it shows. The white penitence robe has been converted into a cape, with the cowl lowered right now.

I open my palms, and a dataslate filled with real and fake STC patterns appears in my right hand, and a Null Rod in the other. "Wear this Null baton at all times, Astartes. Half of your brothers have already fallen to Warp insinuations and lies. Don't make me have to find you again."

The artifact has been sheathed in a centimeter of blackstone as well, by my Lamenter Master of the Forge, giving it increased resistance against brute force. Primarch are very similar to Ogryns after all, prone to rip off doors or heads in fits of rage, or just by being careless. Plus he might need to smack some demon with it.

Khan picks the rod with suspicion, as he knows it would restrict some of his psyker based powers. "I won't be able to fight or duel with this." the Primarch complains like a big child.

"Yes, but you do have your White Scars sons to slice things up for you. Now go and talk with the crazy Inquisitor on the Space Fortress. And then, do what you can for the Imperium. Armed Sentinels and missile boats I'd say, but then I don't have a say in the ruling of the Imperium. The High Lords might kill you anyway, for usurping their powers with your simple existence." I explain in a gentle voice, and deposit him right next to Captain Thrasius, of the Scythes of the Emperor Space Marine Chapter.

My Inquisitor raises an eyebrow at my unceremonious conduct. "You would actually punch Sanguinius, like you said. Nothing seems to scare you, not even a Primarch."

"I actually would, but not in public. Right Canis? You hamstring the vainglorious father, while I punch his teeth out. With my left hand of course." I mutter in a cheerful tone, and scratch my wolf on his smart head.

"Wooof?" the wolf wonders and shows his deadly teeth, somehow doubting he could bite anyone without grievous damage.

"Nah, not for real, clever wolf! I just don't enjoy the burden he left on my shoulders. Sanguinius should have sent the invincible sword master to fight, or even better, teleported a Nova shell inside that traitor's battleship and stopped the whole tragedy in a single blow. But no, why not die in a pointless duel..." I commented in a disgusted voice.

Rose sighs and waves Ludvaius outside, before his blood tears flood the room and make a mess on the carpet. The Astartes stomps loudly as he leaves, and crashes the armored door with an angry and violent gesture. Maybe I was too open and honest, for this universe.

"Perhaps it is better if you do not return to the Imperium, at all. Your own bodyguard was ready to bite your head off." my girlfriend demands in a cold voice. Exactly my thought, dear Rose. Except for small incursions that would save trillions of lives.

"Maybe. I still need to visit Sotha, once in a while. There are like 900 trillion trillions of Tyranids heading this way and hoping to eat everyone." I grumble in a meeker voice.

Also, that fact is very true, and kinda worrying, if not that urgent, not yet.

Plus that World Engine of the Necrons...when it did come out, I'll really have to come back to Sotha and mess it up.

"Not for a decade you will not, Pef Lancefire! You're on thin ice, and these exploits do not expunge your unruly conduct, only forgive it, due to extenuating circumstances." the Inquisitor proclaims with an accusing voice.

I shrug and hold a finger up. "Right! Do order these Scythes to seal up and tow that Tau battleship they have miraculously captured, to Forge Metalica. And then, start preparing a large infiltration force of fake defectors from your Stormtrooper regiment. We'll need as many humans inserted into the Tau ranks and pinpoint valuable technology to steal. All of these infiltrators should receive the strongest mental hardening procedure that your Inquisition has. Those Ethereals use a type of mind control similar to the Enslavers, but I do have a potential material for a mental shield."

With those words, I produce a couple Enslaver bones and leave them floating in mid-air.

"Is this a mineral? No, it's organic but somehow resisting my soul readings. A type of Eldar wraithbone?" Rose wonders as she attempts to scan the floating bones and her psyker probing fails.

Thus, I take out my Bone Staff and leave it floating as well. "I believe is indeed a type of rare creature's bone. I had my own staff made by a powerful artificier, but those services are paid in precious commodities like Greater Demons or Eldar Avatars. Maybe a C'tan shard, if you're willing to sell the one in the Pharos." I ask in a teasing voice.

She scowls at my words, and shakes her head. "Again with that kind of outrageous trades. Also, did you have anything to do with those out of time Astartes showing up on some Forge Worlds, millennia after they were thought dead or lost in the Warp?"

I nod slowly. "Just like your Inquisitor buddy on the Aegida Fortress, the ungrateful bastard. I traded some captured Eldar and their artifacts, and this person happened to have a collection of Astartes. I also saw an Adeptus Custodes among the shelves, but didn't have anything of equal value to trade. But, that was then, I do have some Dark Eldar now...all their Archons in fact, so I might get a new deal."

Her Ordo Xenos teachings come forward abruptly, as she grabs my chin. "What else did you steal from Commorragh?"

I sob in Rogue Trader pain, and start disclosing some of it. Okay, most of it. I'm just too weak in the hands of an Inquisitor, I'm sure everyone can understand that.

Much later, she rests on my chest, all her energy spent in deep but vigorous interrogation.

"Damn lucky, Rogue Trader. Too bad most of your collection cannot be put to use. You'd burn on the first pyre the Imperium could throw. And we're very good at setting up pyres." Rose complains as her hand measures my increased musculature.

Not yet at Astartes level, but getting there. Maybe a decade or five.

"Mind shields, Tau enslavers, and Null Rods. I don't even have access to such a rare relic!" my beloved murmurs in a completely fake pity. She just wants one too.

"I shall trade for this guy's best work then. A staff that's both a mind shield and a Warp shield, and can also fly or crush tanks with one blow. Maybe a mind shielding Rosarius too. And the same for Janice and Victor. Who knew that having a big family will be so expensive..." I complain in fake pity as well.

Just at that second, the other Inquisitor encounters the lost Primarch and tries to have him arrested. Damn cretin!

He vanishes in my labyrinth, as a sign of Emperor's displeasure.

What? Don't believe me? It says right here on my Warrant! My words are the Emperor's words and I speak with his Voice.

"Come my dear. You return to Aegida and support the Primarch, while I try to close the Hadex Anomaly with my trader skills. And they say Rogue Traders are good for nothing!" I mutter in fake annoyance as I open the door to call Ludvaius back.

Dressing in Astartes power armor isn't that easy.

Might need to have the tech-priests design some kind of automated dressing room. And then use a thousand convicts to test the kinks out. Maiming and mutilations from faulty wiring is not a pleasant prospect.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Especially not for my own limbs...so make that 2000 convicts. Much safer that way.

Rose dresses by herself, because leather isn't that hard to dress into. Not all that protective either, so I should consider giving her the Silent Sisters kind of armor, just painted in gold and black.

"You were working hard, I see. New baby on the way?" my Brother asks in a curious voice.

I just smile sheepishly and give him a thumb up. Very likely, considering how much gene-seed I spent today.

"Send me to my room, deck 11. Just next to Janice." Rose commands in a stern voice once she is ready.

I obey, and she vanishes from my blackstone vault of a room, without the familiar purple flash of a teleporter. My tesseract is quite the cheat, I know.

Sadly, I have to walk towards the Teleportarium, escorted by my Blood Angels and silent companions. Well, they have seen the Pharos anyway, during the expedition for chronoblades.

We will need to repeat that exploit, and try to find more lifedraining blades or hexagramic necklaces that can block out Warp intrusions.

In near Company strength, they depart to the desert Artifact World on another looting expedition, after I scan the orbit for more Tau vessels. This time, there is only the Scythes' Strike Cruiser and their captured prize, getting patched up for Warp towing.

"Mighty Zarhulash, someone has been cruel to you." I observe as the C'tan is three times more dissected now than before.

"The young Inquisitor tries his best, and I can fake pain and screaming very well. Doesn't really bother me, as you can imagine, Pef Lancefire." the C'tan replies in a proud voice.

I nod absently, as I doubt even an Exterminatus would bother him. In the other timeline, they did blow up the planet with a cyclonic torpedo, and that only released the C'tan from his shackles.

Maybe a Vortex warhead would work. Multidimensional weapons did tend to ignore any type of defense or durability, just like that Soulspear I sold to Trazyn.

And speaking of the devil. "Necron Lord, you have been really busy." I comment while scanning his new collection. More Army regiments, some Navy ships, even a few Titans and an Ordinatus_Ulator on huge tracks.

"Ah, my favorite stranger. Yes...some scoundrels tried to attack Solemnace. Friends of yours perhaps?" Trazyn the Infinite asks in a suspicious voice.

I snort in amusement. "I take it you peeked into Forge Venatoria and stole something of value. And perhaps also blasted Hell Forge Xana into small bits of screaming rocks and burning souls."

"This better be worth it, puppy stranger. I lost three subordinates on this quest, all valiantly fighting to the last scrap of necrodermis while posing as myself." the Necron mutters in a proud voice.

I sigh and push a Drukhari Archon, without weapons or armor which all sold separately, right into his robotic hands. "I cought the thief who tried to steal your Nightbringer. Now that Commorragh is gone, Dark Eldar items will become a rarity, as with all extinct species."

"Really? Well, it is easy to check...oh. Someone burned it all to the ground. And there's Tyranids feasting on dead corpses everywhere. Such a mess." Trazyn replies after a minute.

The Necron probably has a saved point there, after I sold him that expensive ticket to my first attempt.

"I do have a pict-video of an Eldar Avatar and a Keeper of Secrets dueling in the middle of High Commorragh, right as an Astartes Battle Barge detonates an Exterminatus torpedo on top of them both. After some 30 seconds of the last time-stamp, the area will be clear of witnesses, except those two protagonists which just wouldn't die. If only someone had the skill and patience to send an observer, and collect those engines of destruction for a complete set. What use is a Craftword council, without an Avatar, right?" I whisper in his mind, while Trazyn plays dress-up doll with the insane Dark Eldar Archon I have just gifted him.

"I see, you have been there already, collecting all the Archons and who knows how many relics and rare people. Now the timeline is looped by your tesseract and I can only arrive later." Trazyn complains in a Time Doctor manner.

It wasn't my intention to protect the timeline...but it does work out perfectly.

"So, the Reality Cage and the reality bombs?" I demand in a wry voice.

"You will need ten battleship-strength reactors to power up a planetary size Reality Cage, even after I repaired a thousand flaws in this device, and made it a thousand times simpler to construct, just like that warp-less drive. Or, you can bury the device deep under the planetary crust, and use a single reactor for magnetic conversion. This deep core cage is a distinct invention of my own creation, and is sold separately." the genius Necron offers as a starting point, and holds the dataslate with my device.

Reality Cage, and a working one!

I was pretty sure he also copied the magnetic power mechanism from a Forge World, maybe even Venatoria but whatever. It would actually make the STC template more belivable, and reduce the risk of sabotage too. It would be more difficult to infiltrate a saboteur under a hundred kilometer of boiling magma.

With another flick of the Pharos, I handed him a Drukhari Void Mine and an Eldar Pulse_Laser. Both weapons would make amazing weapons for humanity, if only we had the science to build them. We don't, but a certain Necron surely does.

"I'm quite certain even a Necron Overlord would be annihilated inside the barrier, once that fragment of darklight detonates. You may use it on a hated enemy, once I get a simplified STC schematic. The pulse laser is actually too advanced for my friends, and it needs to be dumbed down, such that even a human can use it, or a tech-priest repair it from an STC pattern." I explain in a cheerful voice.

"... An enemy of mine. Killed by a Dark Eldar weapon. Now this would be a master stroke. " he ponders for a long time.

Already figuring out how the Void Mine works. That's great for him, but Trazyn might have too many enemies, and not all domestic.

I just wait, as my people exploring the desert world for more artifacts will take time. "Not attacking Human, Eldar or Tau targets. I kinda need them for my plans, just like I do for your own dynasty. As for payment, I will offer a Null Rod. Everyone should have one of these, with the galaxy infested by psykers and Warp entities." I demand as he begins writing on a STC dataslate.

And thus, I get the geomagnetic reactor as well. One worry will soon be reduced, with planet-sized Gellar fields enforcing reality and preventing Warp incursions.

"Oh, that would be a decent trade. However, I reserve the right to defend my world even from those three races. Perhaps without lethal force, if I'm in a good mood." the Overlord allows in a perky voice.

Well, Null Rods are very rare indeed. I only have four of them, and already two are given away, to Khan and Trazyn.

"I accept your claim, Lord Trazyn. But, I need an STC template for a simpler to build Null Rod. And then, a few quality items for some special people. A couple of Enslaver Bone staffs, and a dual use Null and Bone staff, that will still allow minimal psyker powers for the user. From Beta-level to Delta." I ask as my trading goods appear in his room.

He stops to consider my words, and fails at first. "Blocking everything is doable, with some effort. But blocking the Warp and still attacking with it, even at lower strength? Is that even possible?" Trazyn mutters in real confusion.

"Generally no, these qualities are antithetical. Unless, there's a bloodline flaw to exploit. I will provide gene samples for the user, because the staff needs to be gene-coded, and from a relative of hers, with both the Pariah gene and the Psyker gene. Also, that Null staff...should have Inquisitorial decorations. I'm sure you know perfectly well how Inquisitors like to present themselves." I explain in a patient voice.

I send a few locks of hair, from Rose and Janice, and hope for the best. With a gene-coded staff, Trazyn would be capable of tracing my Rose anywhere in the galaxy.

Oh well. I was probably too paranoid.