The Destination of Decision (Backstory)

"Are you sure you only want to learn mana-related things?"

“Mhm! YES!!! ”

Hummed, my three-year-old self, enthusiastically grinning as I raise an okay sign, despite Lhina’s worried expression. One of the days I'm genuinely happy. I freely proceeded on the path I chose without anything to worry about. Neither someone nor something got in my way. I enjoy what I want, no matter how little it might be.

Even if life is cruel to me, I wouldn't spend my time in this life without enjoying it. I refused to take the same path as in my past life, where I needed to worry about how I'd spend my time productively. That cycle can be left in the past. One time is enough.

No matter how my life turns out, even if I'm untalented in this life as well, I just move the way I desire. To be able to do what you want without anything to hold you back. Isn't that what a dream is supposed to be?

Holding back as much as possible, reserving it, and keeping it until the end. To be content with what I've. But in the end, I died early, without having a chance to bring a single thing with me. As regrets persist behind me,.

So in this life, I’d lead my life the way I want, leaving no regrets behind.

It's the choice I make and the decision I make. No matter what the result,.

I’m the one to decide it.

That’s why……

“It’s fine; it’s more than enough for me.”

“Well, if you say so.”

Lhina smiles warmly, though, with a little concern hovering within her. But my determined grin seemed to be enough for her right now.

"I guess that's just perfect for you." As her warm eyes stare through me, she introduces a new technique for utilizing mana. "I guess I can teach a skill that you'll surely like—something that'd be of good use to you."

“Ehh, really?! There's something like that. "My eyes will most likely sparkle if I ever see it.

"That's right, but this was a higher-end skill that is only known by a few, as well as a few individuals who can pull it off."

Lhina grins a little, resting her index finger on her lip as if to discourage me.

Though that wouldn’t work...

“Bring it on!! As long as it only requires mana and doesn’t involve any elemental components or outside properties, I can easily do it.”

I gave her a confident grin, straightening my body. Seeing my boastful manner, Lhina gently beamed.

“If you’re that confident, let’s begin.”

“Mhm.”

"Do you know that there's magic to feel other people's emotions and read their thoughts?"

“Uh-huh.”

My response was quite edgy, as I was bewildered by her sudden question. But her next query causes a slight confusion in my mind.

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"Do you know how much connection beings have with their mana?"

"Ehh? Errr. It's energy that builds up within them."

I scratch my hair, answering with random sh*t. If I've got to think of a connection, then Cilestian and I share a deep bond. But I doubt that's the same case for others. And unlikely was the answer Lhina was looking for.

Lhina gave a meaningful grin. "There's a much deeper connection between the mana and its owner. Though it's not proven, for the reason being, there's no one left that can do it."

Excitement slowly rises within me with every word Lhina says. It was so evident that even Lhina could see it. As for that, she didn't prolong it anymore and dropped a game-changer thing.

"You see, emotion often reflects on mana.”

What?! That’s mean….

Lhina sees the confusion on my stunned face and senses the realization within me. Wording what I'm thinking in my head.

“That’s right. What you’re going to learn is how to sense emotion within the mana.”

Wait, legit?

{"Gago!"}

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Standing amid a secluded forest, I can barely contain my excitement and spout a word from my past life—a curse at worst. The place we were standing was where we often trained, away from the preaching eyes in the orphanage.

“What you need to do is nothing different; all it would take is to heighten your senses and look deep into the mana. Not necessarily deep, but you need to find the connection with the heart."

Lhina's explanation was not lacking, but I'm lacking some brain cells. I didn't get a single shit. Silence enveloped the forest as the wind blew my mind away.

“Uh-huh.”

“Fuh-fuh….”

She giggled slightly, as if it were visible on my face. Though her next words prove my face is not the sole reason.

"You feel complicated and refuse to understand it, yet you are excited about it."

I widen my eyes, casting my eyes on Lhina, who is smiling meaningfully. Just her words alone were enough for me to realize one thing.

Don’t tell me...

Without even reacting in time, Lhina had already blurted out what was hovering in my head. As if she read my mind...

"I'm one of the few that can sense emotion through mana."

There’s no doubt about it anymore.

Lhina was really awesome!!!!!

"This is nothing; I'm confident you're also capable of such a feat."

She might sound normal, but I can clearly see the pride on her face without learning how to sense emotion yet. Maybe she sensed that I was praising her in my head. That's why she seems to be in a good mood. But…..

"There's really nothing else for you to learn in Mana," Lhina revealed with a sorry expression.

It's something I already expect. Mana is energy; it's a known fact. Even in some fiction, I read back in my past life that mana is sort of a gas that fuels magic and tons of stuff. I'm well aware of it. I'm well aware of what I can do with mana.

"It's fine; I actually like to be good at one thing."

I reassured her with a thin smile. What I say is actually true. If I can be great at one thing in this life, then it's enough for me to be happy. Something I never attained in my past life.

“I see...” Lhina breaks into a soft smile, putting her faith in me as she instructs me. "All you need to do is practice, breaking through what is normal in sensing and feeling the connection of mana with the heart.”

Breaking what is normal, huh, doesn't seem that easy to me.

“…….”

I felt a warm hand resting on my head. As I turned my eyes forward, I found Lhina with an affectionate gaze.

“There’s no other way to do it. What you are trying to attain is mana perception beyond its limit."

Gently caress my hair, encouraging me, "You already have the full grasp of your mana since the beginning. I know you'd be able to do something like this."

“I believe in you.”

Her words leave a great impact on me. I’d never been encouraged like this in my whole life. The feeling that I can destroy this world is rising within me.

“Yes!!! I’d be able to do it this very day. I promise.”

I spout something that even I don't believe in. Despite Lhina letting out a hearty laugh and even sagely using her body...

"I'm going to lower my control and protection. so you can easily use me to practice sensing within me."

This doesn’t sound normal at all.

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3rd pov

Bluish beads of densely packed, concentrated mana with unmatched quality were emerging in the air. With the appearance of such mana, the quivering mana in the surroundings can be felt.

Amidst it stands the cause of such a prominent scene. He was a boy with gleaming blue eyes, staring blankly. Display a terrifying control that is enough to disturb the surroundings.

But there's no one there to witness it, aside from a few spirits and a silver-haired woman with a proud expression.

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Carus pov

This is the only time I'm concentrating on this level. Even staying for a few minutes was ineffective. Standing for a while strained my body, and this excessive concentration took a toll on my mental health.

Others might suggest taking a meditative posture. But that wouldn't work for me. I can't concentrate that way—I felt cringe. If I'm in bed, my concentration is unmatched. I can make an entire series in my head—chuniibyu it was.

I've been eagerly searching for the so-called connection with the heart. Intensely staring into her chest, nothing came out. It seems it's not in the heart itself. Moreover, it takes a lot of willpower to look in that place. In that place, sit the two rounded 'heavens’. Thankfully, I'm able to pull myself together before I lose focus.

Tightly sealing my eyes so as not to be disturbed by 'heaven’s seduction, I focus on my inner sense, drawing an image in my mind with the help of mana.

“…………”

Though recalcitrant shits were disturbing my tranquil mind, several minuscule lights resurfaced in my mind, fidgeting irritatingly. Frustratingly opening my eyes, I found spirits wriggling in my vicinity. I can almost feel the vein that is about to explode out of range.

"Motherfuckers!"

I’m about to lash out at them, but something unexpected occurred. Something even I didn’t expect.

“Enough.”

An icy tone freezes the air, scaring the spirits away. An ominous feeling crawled through my body, shuddering from the unfamiliar fright I felt for the first time. I defensively trace back the source of the sinister presence.

At the end of the line stands Lhina with a cold, piercing glare, enough to make the surroundings tremble. The whole place almost turns upside down. Trees dance with an ominous gust of wind, resonating in the surroundings as animals flee from something dangerous.

The gentle Lhina, I always know, snaps before I do. For the first time, the person who unconditionally adored me showed a frightening side.

I don't see a problem here~

It's not just from outside observation; I can feel she's annoyed, but something about it was hollow, as though there's endless darkness waiting beyond that.

Wait, how did I know these things?

That day, I learned a trick that will come in handy in the future.

She’s extremely irritated…I can feel it.