(Drake’s POV)

“Why is it so hoooooot” And so the whinging begins again and I thought his nightly lessons were going to do something…

It’s been over a week since we left the city and in that time we’ve walked, shot a bunch of animals of varying size and walked some fucking more.

One week of walking like there’s no fucking tomorrow, my feet are killing me. And everything just a messy blur thanks to somehow not having my glasses when coming here, fucking fantastic, just what I needed to make my life worse than it already is.

I thought it was going to be mildly fun being in a fantasy world, but right now it’s just a lot of blurs and walking.

At least I’ve got someone to insult.

“Hey Furry you done wiping your ass with that rabbit or shall I leave you two alone for a while”

“oh I didn’t know you wanted a piece” Oh shit there’s crappit coming my way!

Successfully sidestepping the brown and white blur that sails past me, I look down at what my eyes have accustomed to being Billy, with disgrace.

Well guess he’s getting to crawl back to camp, ugh Sean stop following me.

“Drake, go back and pick up Billy” Bram ever the somehow nice guy. Well I guess there’s got to be at least one person who isn’t a complete asshole to everyone else, at least he’s way more fucked up than the rest of us.

“He throws shit at me, he gets to crawl in it”

“Hey I’m tanking for the party now so you’re the official babysitter” That was literally the worst idea I’d ever come up with. Having to carry that potato sacked furry piece of shit around wasn’t my idea of fun in the slightest.

Though having Bram tank made our walks a little easier, since he was always at the front and more often than not when we were sneak attacked by random animals both day and night, they always went for him.

“Scaled Asshole” Fiera’s official nickname for me now “Go grab Furry Fucker or I’ll make sure not to heal your feet”

…

..

.

Dammit.

She’s got us all by the ropes pushing us to walk so much that our feet and legs burn and get blisters and cuts and whatnot else since the crappy leather shoes are wearing away way too fast. And if she doesn’t heal us oh my god does it hurt.

I mean I could totally just not walk…but unlike Bram she can hit me and hurt me quite a bit…plus getting a bolt in the stomach is not fun.

What a fucked up group: we shoot eachother in the stomach if we don’t go with the group…if that isn’t fucked up I don’t know what is.

Grabbing Billy and hoisting him up on my shoulders, we make our way back to our temporary piss-stop and off we go, back to trudging through blur.

“Hoi there fellow travellers” Sounds like a fat man, can I just shoot him so we don’t have to socialise?

“Hello sir, where are you off to on this fine day” Of course not, bloody Bram.

“Me and my daughters are off to the elves you see, are you headed there yourselves?”

Convenience one hundred percent, trap-like almost definite.

“Yes actually, would you like to walk together?”

“The more the merrier” I can hear his fat wobble with laughter, eugh.

“I am Bram and these are my travelling companions, who may you be?”

“Erstwidth the first and these are my daughters, Zweila, Dreiya and Vierra” Great, like I give a shit.

A chorus of hellos from the short looking blurs…erm they’re definitely nowhere near of age.

“Aw hello cutsies how are you doing today”

…

..

.

Give me back angry Fiera, this one gives me the creeps.

Trying my best to ignore the multiple conversations happening around me, god why do humans have to interact so much. Should’ve just shot them, looted them and be done with it.

“So why are you off to the elves?” At least this conversation may not be suicidally dulling

“Same as you I believe, to enter the academy of magic”

“Of course” Bram doesn’t even skip a beat, if anything he knows how to lie when he’s prepped for it.

“Though you all seem a little…old to be joining the academy”

“Didn’t have the chance when we were younger so off to it now I guess”

Well guessing the age of this guy’s daughters I’d say it’s an elementary school or a little higher.

“AVAST YE MONSTER OF THE DEEP”

…

..

.

Excuse me who?

“Who?” Billy questions the voice wherever the hell it is

“THE FAT ONE” We push Sean forward a bit “NO THE OTHER FAT ONE” Oh well whatever.

I continue walking, fuck them if they’re getting in trouble with some random voice.

“DO YOU NOT CARE YOU UNWASHED FELLOW CARRYING THAT OTHER SOUR FELLOW?”

“Not in the slightest” None of my business.

“WELL WHATEVER, YOU, FAT DEMON WHO ENTRANCES THE YOUNG LADIES SO, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU THUS LAYING BARE YOUR MISDEEDS AND FREE THOSE BEAUTIES FROM YOUR PUTRID GRASP”

Wait a second.

“AHHhhHhhHHhHHHHHHH”

Oh yes that was definitely a tarzan

*Snap*

“OH BUGG-”

*Smack*

…

..

.

“AH THE NATURE OF THIS FOREST MAY BE TURNED TO YOUR WILL TO BUT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS NONETHELESS, COME MISCREANT OF EVIL, LET ME SMITE THEE” I hear the drawing of a blade and turn to see a tall blur rushing towards the fat man, whatever his name was.

“Ah wai-”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Holy shit my earbuds. Fucking hell you shitty little kids why are you screaming so loud!?

“DADDYYY”

“FEAR NOT MY DIVINE LADIES, THE EVIL HAS BEEN VANQUISHED AND I SHALL PROTECT THEE HENCE BACK TO THINE HOMES. WORRY NOT FOR I AM NO MERE GUARDIAN”

You have GOT to be kidding me

“Yeah, you’re a loliconotic twat”

“YOU ARE MOSTLY CORRECT, I MAY SEE THE BEAUTY IN ALL WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO YET TO BE CURSED BY MATURITY BUT I AM NOT THAT T WORD! BUT HOW MAY YOU BE KNOWLEDGEABLE OF THOSE TWO WORDS?!”

“Because we come from Earth too” Oh thanks Billy, give away the fun why don’t you”

“AH…really you guys are from earth too?” Wait wait wait what’s with the sudden change of demeanour? like the whole old style speaking valiant hero guy was just an act. Well fuck me sideways I had no idea…not.

“Well duh can you not hear my Londoner accent?”

“Honestly have no idea what that’s supposed to be” He sounds Hispanic I’m guessing. “I’m Miguel Ferreira a pleasure to meet you all, but I must accompany these beautiful ladies somewhere safe”

“So away from you, Loliperv”

“Excuseme I am a gentleman and I would not so dare as lay a finger on these beauties”

“But it’s ok undressing them with your eyes Pervcon”

“Unwashed fellow you certainly are rather rude, I am a man of high integrity. My only desire is to protect them from all harm and let them live their youth to the fullest”

“By killing their father” Bram walks in on the conversation

“Yeah that’s a pretty dick move Pedocon”

“I mean you didn’t even let the guy speak” Billy reinforces the points. Well the guy did just kill some poor little shits’ dad in front of them…

“Daddy” *sob sob*

“FOOLS ALL OF YE, THIS MAN IS BUT A MONSTER CONTROLLING THESE YOUNG LADIES’ MINDS, OBSERVE YE OF NO FAITH. MY PETITE MISTRESS WHAT MAY BE YOUR NAME”

*Sob sob* “Vierra”

…

..

.

“MAGIC TAKES A WHILE TO UNDO IT’S EFFECT BUT I KNOW I AM CORRECT, JUST LOOK AT THE CORPSE OF THIS FAKE HUMAN, LOOK AT ITS EARS”

“Which looks pretty much like a human to me” I mean I just see a blur but Billy confirms my thoughts with words

“…NOT AGAIIN” He falls down to his knees and starts screaming to the sky in anguish…what an utter twat

“How many people have you killed this way?” Bram’s already interrogating the man while Fiera if helping the kids get over their recent trauma…the screaming and crying shows it’s going just beautifully.

“Six…though I have gotten it correct twice”

“Wait so there’s actually monsters who take little children that aren’t you?” Billy bleats from above me

“Seems like you’ve got competition Lolipedo”

“It isn’t like that! some pointy eared humans keep taking the little maidens away and everyone keeps saying it’s just monster attacks but it isn’t true!”

“Right…totally”

“It’s true, my goddess was snatched in the middle of the night by what I thought was our guide. But it wasn’t him, it was a pointy eared imposter posing as him! Our real guide is dead!”

“That’s impossible” Fiera storms up to him “First you kill some innocent man, traumatising three possible students of the magic arts and now you accuse an apostle of Rikcha to have been killed by a mere elf? Where’s his body, show me his body!”

“I I never saw the original body but I killed him when he came for me”

“You KILLED your GUIDE?! How utterly fucking moronic are you? That person has devoted their life to keeping you safe!!!” And there’s the Fiera we all know and hate.

“He attacked me! He tried to take me out I couldn’t do anything else”

“Show me” She grabs him by the throat smashing his head against a nearby tree…ooh scary

“EEK th-this way” He scrambles out of her grasp I think, and away we go, dragging the crying children along, uuugh.

Making our way off the almost road-like path that we had been taking for a good day or two, we finally reach a river with what I sort of looks like a body lying next to a large rock by the riverside.

“That’s him, ears and all”

…

..

.

“…He’s an Elf” Fiera is almost surprised, well it isn’t surprising if it’s true duh. “We must go back to the city immediately, if an elf has infiltrated our ranks who knows what else has”

“Wait a second isn’t he an imposter as Miguel said?” Bram speaks out what we’re all thinking.

“No, he’s the original, I know because he’s got a mole in his right eye, not something a dead elf can magically keep up”

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“But my goddess, I need to find her, you can’t just leave me, especially as you know that she’s in the hands of the elves…who knows what they might do to her” Already making nightmares for himself I see.

“That doesn’t matter, it’s not going to be easy to find an elf in these woods much less one who knows of this plot”

“Erd lord of trees and grass, heed my call and bur-”

*Twang*

“Found one” walking over to the small blonde blur whichever of the three it was, I kneel on her arms holding her in place with the weight of two people.

“MADNESS WHAT ART THOU DOING TO MINE DAMSELS”

“She was speaking elvish, any of you know any little shits who speak fluent elvish?”

…

..

.

“You speak elvish? Surprising for a lizard lover, thought you’d know something like hissing”

“I know draconic if that was the word your tiny brain couldn’t find, as well as abyssal, undercommon, dwarvish, gnomish and a few other random languages” Made D&D sessions brutally realistic especially when none of the players speak the same in-game language, oh miscommunication adventures were the best.

“That’s actually amazing” Fiera gave me a compliment, eugh I should talking so much.

“So uh, she was speaking elvish so this little shit is actually an elf”

“Aren’t you you little elvish scum”

“Curse you human trash, I will die out before you get any information from me”

“And there you go, Fiera, heal her up we’ve got a little torture session coming up”

“NOT IN FRONT OF MINE LADIES, PETITE GODDESSES COME HITHER AND I SHALL PROTECT THINE SOULS FROM SUCH DARKNESS”

“But that’s Big Sister”

“NON THAT IS TRULY THE MONSTER WHICH HAD MADE EVEN ME BELIEVE YOUR FATHER WAS THE ONE CONTROLLING THEE, DO NOT BE SAD FOR ALL MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF THIS BEAST IS A LIE, FORGED TO MAKE YOU LIKE AND TRUST THEM. TRUST ME INSTEAD FOR I AM A WORTHY GENTLEKNIGHT”

“Seriously, brag later you Pedo. Now little elf how many cocks do you think we can fit inside you at once”

…

*Twang*

“According to our little helper there’s a cave over in the northwest side of the forest, behind a waterfall which holds all the current prisoners”

“How did you get that information so fast senor?” It has been barely moments since I began the dirty talk. I suspected elves to be an innocent bunch, but not enough to get tortured by rape talk…Though I guess so many years of D&D has really made me prepared for these kinds of situations. Oh how I cannot wait to try out so many of the things I did in those sessions…

I rip the bolt out of the blurry face and wipe it on her dead clothes. That’s what she gets for actually making me do work.

“Right, so let’s go over there and free us some people” Bram declares what we’re doing…but I don’t like that idea, especially when I can have so much more fun.

“How about I go in, with the bait and cause a prison break” much more fun watching everyone die as they try to escape over their comrades…plus less risk to me then waltzing through attacking everything on sight.

I mean they are elves, they’ll probably see us way before we even notice them.

“I can act as an elf and it’ll all go fine”

“I’m all for letting the scaly shit suiciding”

“Elves are assholes, let’s kill them”

“Hahh I guess it’d be easier then trying to blast through the front door”

“I’d rather not use children as bait but if it is necessary to keep you all alive I will allow it”

“Wait a second you’re not allowed to just use such divine women as bait!”

“Actually we are and since you are nothing but a nuisance that brought this on in the first place you get no say. Here have my arbalester, at least you might be a little less of a twat if you shut up and shoot as Bram says” Rolling my eyes at an obviously huffing yet kind of deflated Miguel, I grab both small women by the cuff of their dresses.

“Owie let go”

“Noo don’t leave me without papa”

“You two, shut up, if you cry I will hit you, if you scream I will hit you harder. If you try to run away I will break your legs and if you try to hurt me in any way whatsoever…” I turn them to face the dead elf midget. Enough said.

Pushing the little shits along, I tell the rest to keep at least a kilometre distance and to not act suspicious, which they’re probably going to fail at but whatever.

Oh I’m excited! God I thought this world would be as boring as usual but I’ve realised it’s just a never ending D&D session. I can torture, maim and kill whoever I like and even better I can actually be liked by it as I’m doing right now. I cannot wait to watch the prison break, if they’ll be as half as hellish as my tabletop ones were it’ll be quite the experience indeed!!

Travelling up the river, I finally see a waterfall after way too bloody long, at least the kids aren’t making any loud noises past sad sobs. That’s a good thing.

Maybe I should just run away now, enjoy doing the stupid shit I did in my adventures…and probably die…damn maybe not yet.

Walking confidently up to the waterfall, I walk through, getting absolutely drenched but lo and behold there’s a door.

*Knock knock*

“Hello got some lovely ladies”

*Shing*

“Ah, good, bring them in” An elderly voice comes from the other side and opens the door.

Walking inside, the first thing I smell is cum. Yeah I remember that smell because that’s what my room always smelt like. That and crisps.

Being led by an elderly elf, I assume by it’s blurred hunch, we enter a cavernous room going multiple floors up and filled with moans and screams.

Taking me past the large central area filled with the smell of bitter cooking, he opens up a cell just out of the way.

“Place them in there, are they blooded yet?”

Blooded meant of age right? No I guess?

“No”

“Ehe, would you like to break them in or” I swear he just licked his lips “May I?”

“You can have them, but I return I’d like a taste of the hero you brought in”

“Oho you aren’t the first to ask. You’ll need this key to get to her, but she’s off limits”

“A shame, guess we can share these two?”

“Certainly ehehe”

Following after him, I of course trip him, holding onto the back of his head and repeatedly bash it on the floor with a dull squelching sound. But that barely registers above the screams of the bait.

Standing up once I truly assume he’s dead, probably from the greyish blur pooling out from his head, I grab both the baits by the throat.

“Be. Fucking. Quiet”

At least they listened.

Well I guess I’ve only got limited time until someone comes to have a peek…

“Stay”

Grabbing the dead elfs keys, hmm by the sounds of it, there’s quite a few people and elves here.

Who would’ve known I’d find sex trafficking in this world…even more so as it’s elves trafficking human kids, should be the other way round in all honesty…

But then again if it’s something to do with repopulating the elves then it’s sounding pretty effective.

Waltzing around, I have a peek or two in the cells that I pass as I slowly go up the spiral stone walkway circling around the edges of the cavern and of course see but blurs of naked flesh and hear some rather disturbing sounds.

I may have done quite a bit of digging on the darkweb but the smell is what really puts me off…

Gagging my way to the top, eventually, I go towards the biggest looking cell…which is extremely difficult to find as I cannot see shit and also everything’s made out of rock so it’s not that distinguishable.

“Hey what are you doing up here?” An elf walks out of a cell, butt naked since all I see in a blur of pink

“Having a little fun” I jangle the keys and he nods, walking to the next cell to continue his sexcapade.

Glancing in each cell, up here there doesn’t seem to be many elves, only two or three with about a dozen girls all caged up and being used one after the other.

Unlike downstairs these don’t cry, actually I wouldn’t be surprised if their dead with the lack of noise their making…

Bram would definitely like this.

Finally reaching the last cell, it’s bars are instead a door…a metal one at that.

Seems like this one’s important.

Opening up the door

*HISS*

Well that’s a fantastic greeting.

I close the door behind me, leaving a dull oil lit lamp to illuminate the small blur chained to the wall, somehow fully clothed in something orange and blue…

“Are you Miguel Pedocon’s Goddess?”

…

..

.

“I never thought I’d be happy hearing that name. It’s Kyora Nanahiko however so don’t call me by such a foolishly annoying nickname”

“Whatever, I’m just here to start a prison riot and watch hell break loose. And if you want to escape with me…give me a kiss” Might as well play around while I can, not that I have any sort of sexual or any attraction towards this blur.

“Ugh I’d rather stay locked up and get raped by some elvish prince by the way their treating me than kiss a kid like you”

“Kid? Wow you must be really old if you think I’m a kid”

“Wait, how old are you?”

“Oh that information costs a little more than a kiss”

“Urp don’t make me throw up more than usual today”

“Alright, then goodbye, have fun being raped you old hag”

“Wait wait a second…dammit come here” Oh shit I didn’t think she’d actually go through with it.

Walking over to her, her hands rattle in the chains.

“Come closer, but be gentle”

Wait a second, this isn’t planned at all, I haven’t done this before in real life what do I do? Do I go through with it? Er I…I don’t know I guess so? Maybe draw back at the last second? What did I do when I freed the draconic mistresses from the towers of Bulather? Er yes I drew back at the last second…

Right ok, I can do this…aand

*Clunk*

…

What just happened? I feel like I just passed out for a moment there…

ow…owoowowoOWOWOOWOWOoOHHHHHHHH MY BALLS, HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHFUUUUUUUUCK.

“Don’t you dare call me old hag you asshole, I’m only thirty six”

“Ho…holy shit you’re older than me” I roll on the floor clutching my well knocked genitals softly. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

“Well obviously, you look like a barely twenty year old all skin and bones”

“thirty two…somehow, maybe thirty three”

“You’re kidding me”

“You look like a midget from what I can see so you’re the more unbelieviable”

“Eh whatever, just get me out of these chains”

“After what you did to me, go fuck yourself” I stand up and half stumble towards the exit

“Wait please don’t go, don’t leave me here, be a little human and help mee please”

“Fine, on two conditions. One you help me cause a prison break and two you call me master from now on” I mean I don’t care really but anything to fuck with people hahaha.

“Alright”

“Ahem”

“…Master” this is exactly what I did with those draconic princesses I remember now. Ah that turned out to be quite fun, though they were at least hot…unlike this blur of midget.

Freeing her from her chains with one of the many keys on the keyring, I open up the door and begin sauntering down the wide open passageway.

“Hey need an extra man for some fun”

“Eh if she gets any more lively why not”

Walking into the room, I grab hold if his neck and mouth and twist

…

..

.

Well that didn’t work shit shit shiiiit!

 “Mrghgpghmrm”

Quickly pulling backwards, I hear a ripping sound followed by muffled screams and then silence…

*Blaraghghh*

Squeezing out from underneath the unconscious or dead elf, I don’t know, I see a pink naked blur positioned on all fours silently, what I assume to be her ass covered red, and there’s also a dick on the floor

Oh my well I think I know where all the blood that’s spurted all over the room came from.

*Blaargh*

Is she still throwing up?

Well whatever  got some more elves to deal with first.

Going to the next elf, I’m actually stopped by the midget Asian who motions to let her take the lead. Alright but if it goes to shit I’m not taking blame.

Hey brother, here’s another one who needs your help I toss the midget into the room and leave.

*Cough*

I was gone like five seconds

…

..

.

*Cough cough*

Is that seriously the  signal?

Turning into the room oh damn the elf is on the floor, unconscious? I don’t see any signs that he’s dead, even though I can’t really see anyways.

Sneaking over to it, yep he’s got a heartbeat. Time to choke him to death.

Huh the feeling of life slowly slipping away from your fingers truly is something rather unnatural.

No time to relish the moment, got to continue killing elves.

Letting whatever her name was to go in first, this time I stay and ask if I can join in, which he says yes of course.

These elves are just fucksluts really

Apparently midget knows some weird kung fu shit something or rather as she hits him around the neck and he falls down choking, well that’s pretty fucking impressive to say the least. Anywho, one more elf to asphyxiate.

And let’s try get these humans on their feet.

…

..

.

Nope they’re broken inside, whatever. And although midget does complain a little about leaving them, she doesn’t leave me either.

Going down the corridor, it gets slightly harder as there are more elves waltzing around butt naked exchanging cells with one another. Wow these guys really have nothing better to do.

*Ding ding ding*

Sounds like a dinner bell.

Like clockwork, all of them exit the cells and run downstairs.

Well that made life a hell of a lot easier.

Jumping cell to cell, unchaining the girls, I tell them to walk with me quietly and when I shout attack go for any elf they can.

After about ten minutes I’ve got a few dozen naked blurs and one blue and orange midget following me around. To the next floor.

Bloody hell this is too easy and I can even see the elves all scoffing up something downstairs as they sit on the wooden benches far below. I wonder what they’d see if they actually bothered to look up from their food.

A lot of naked women all waltzing out of their cages is probably the most correct answer.

Freeing almost one hundred of them, we’re starting to make quite a bit of noise walking around, but at least they’re all keeping quiet which is good.

The hour passes I think? And I’m at the bottom floor and of course like every good prison break, the shit hits the fan.

Why?

Well because everything’s gone intensely quiet and I only notice that when I reach what I guess is the first level…as there’s a shit ton of elves all holding swords and bows staring at me and my naked lady group.

“KILL THEM ALL”

…

..

.

“AAAAAGHRGHRGHRGHH”

Phew half expected them to just cry and do shit all.

I mean they do outnumber the elves by quite a bit, but they’ve got weapons and the twang of a few bows surely sorts out more than a few women.

Now that that’s sorted out, where’s the midget? Aha there she is.

I grab and hoist her up, she’s fucking heavy jesus: she must be a really fat midget. Her and Sean are definitely going to get along

Right, it’s not too bad a jump but not with a fat midget, through the brawl it is.

Running toward the exit dodging the massive naked brawl which oddly enough I don’t see much blood…probably trying not to kill their fuckstock then, I rush outside and burst through the waterfall colliding straight into one fucking furry sitting atop Bram.

“What the fuck!” all three of us scream at eachother as I rub a broken nose, bram somehow staying stood.

“GODDESS”

“Oh my Knight, please whisk me away from these scoundrels” That bitch, she didn’t keep her end of the bargain. Where’s my bloody arbalester?

“Quick everyone inside let’s help the prisoners” Fiera rushes inside, seriously? The whole point is to let it become a bloodbath and help at the last possible moment to look good. Just sit back and enjoy the carnage you freak.

“N-n-naked ladies” Yes Sean there’s a lot of unattractive boobs around, ugh.

“Do we have to care?” The actual normal ones just look at Fiera rushing inside, hearing the screams and shouts of death.

“Nah, dough if we sell all deir underwear we could ged quide a bid of money” I do point out since many of them were probably virgins before so it should sell for quite a bit oho.

“Then let’s get to looting” Billy doesn’t bitch at me for once, probably because he’s feeling happy I’m the one with the bloody broken nose.

“Do you not care about such beauteous women fighting for their very purity. NAY I TELL THEE, WAIT HENCE MY GODDESS FOR I AM NEEDED TO SAVE THESE PURE MAIDEN’S HEARTS” And that’s one Miguel charging in like a retard. I could tell him about how they are anything but pure…but I don’t think he’d appreciate it.

Oh I’ll definitely do it later.

“AH LADIES BEG MY FORGIVNESS FOR I CANNOT FIGHT WITH MINE EYES CLOSED, AVERT SUCH DERELICT BEAUTY AWAY FROM ME SO THAT I MAY CONCENTRATE ON THE BATTLE AND NOT THY LOVELY SELVES” What a perv, pedo, both.

I notice ‘Goddess’ is still hanging back with the rest of us unenthusiastic lot.

“I mean do you care?”

“I’m not one to put myself in danger for random people, they can go kill themselves for all I really care”

*Badump*

I can actually get along with this person that is an odd feeling indeed.

“But if Miguel dies I kind of die too…aaagh, plus we’ve got to bloody find the other two wherever the fuck they buggered off to when going for a fuck. Bloody idiots” With a most emphasised sigh she buggers off inside to help somehow.

“Right, off to looting, oh and Bram there’s some dead inside women on the top floor just for you” Oh shit he’s actually got a boner off of that hahaha!

Walking inside, yep it’s a bloodbath, especially as I didn’t see any weapons nearby.

Jesus the smell is actually revolting

“Bllaaaarhgh” Yep at least I can’t see it. Now what the actual fuck would they have to loot here?