(King Yark’s POV)
“Welcome Heroes, to the Kingdom of Ardanic. You have been summoned to be our protectors in the war against the demonkind and beastmen who ar-”
“Excuse me, did you just say beastmen?” The crawling youth interrupts me, does he not know respect?
I suspect not, but I guess I can tolerate their lack of manners for now.
“Yes there are beastmen and we are at wa-where are you going?” The crawling man had turned himself around and began crawling away.
“Off to find the beastmen duh” He is already so zealous towards our cause then? That would be perfect if he were not a cripple.
“You furry piece of shit” Finally words utter from the one on the corner, malicious words indeed.
The crawling man stops and glares at the one in the corner. This may get out of hand.
“Oh you naïve little person, thinking that hairless flesh is at all attractive, oh how you do not understand the beauty of a tail or cue ears to rub” His tone isn’t exactly of the raging zeal I expected
“I fully understand a tail you furry freak, but not hairy and freaky, a most majestic tail is hard and leathery li-”
“Unfuckingbeliveable. Out of 8 billion bloody people that could’ve been summoned I had to be bloody paired with a fucking scaly. That’s disgusting”
“Take that back, scales are sexy and royal. Your fur is shitstained and bestial”
“You take that back scaly, come over here so I can kick your ass”
“Kick, you can’t even stand you furry cripple”
“And you look like you came from the ring, scaly arsehole, eugh I threw up inside just thinking about that”
“Don’t you be insult-”
“EMMA OH” The fat one awakes abruptly, pausing the heating argument between two of my sorry heroes and it takes him a long moment to see what is happening.
Sitting up, he glazes around, eyes resting on Fiera’s as she scuttles back and away from him.
“Wo-wo-wo-”
“Hey kid, what’s your name” The curly blond man kneels next to the flustering child and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Sean. Where am I?” His accent is foreign with a twanging accent, a pig-like version of this language even.
“Some fantasy land by the sound of it”
“Fantasy? Like mermaids?” His eyes become saucepans.
I’ve already lost hope with the two ‘heroes’ that named eachother furry and scaly…since I believe it meant they were sympathisers of those monsters, but don’t let me lose another one on such a vile creature.
“Do mermaids exist?” The blond one looks at me with a questioning brow.
“Beneath the sea somewhere, but those mo-”
“MERMAIDS, can we go see the mermaids” The kid starts panting and I spot the physician on standby inching closer pre-emptively
“We can but calm down, we’ve got a few things to figure out first” The blond gives him a pat on the head.
Wait a second, things are getting out of hand, two are quietly arguing to eachother about something I don't understand, another is fantasizing about those disgusting mermaids but at least the last is keeping some semblance of heroism about himself, I’m just meant to get them excited about being heroes then handing them over to Major Markell for training.
“I believe you all should listen” I stand up, getting serious “These beastmen and mermaids and scalys you talk of are but monsters, vile, disgusting creatu-”
“How do you know that?” The blond questions me, oh do not fall to the dark side that these others have seemingly gone to aswell.
“Because they invade our borders and kill our people, no respectable being kills another human” and just look at them, their entire visage is actually horrifying. My stomach even feels queasy just thinking about how they procreate.
“So you say you don’t have civil wars?” Ah perhaps my words weren’t as correct as they should have been
“Not for a thousand years, since we are surrounded by vicious and evil monsters, demons and even the undead we cannot afford the time to fight one another”
His eyebrows raise momentarily in surprise “…Well in our world there’s just humans and we kill eachother over basically nothing at most points.” That sounds most wonderful, apart from the killing eachother “so I believe all of us are simply curious to see new creatures which were a pleasant fantasy in our world”
So showing them the creatures would dissuade them from the enemy’s grasp? I should note this for the later heroes too.
“As heroes you will of course be travelling to all these lands-”
“Killing them all?” The crawling man interrupts me once more. I have many manners unlike you boy, but they do not last forever.
“Of course what else would you do with them”
“Oh don’t even get him started, I don’t want to hear his bestiality related bucket list ”
“As if your list is any better”
“of course it is, it’s not with fucking animals”
“Like lizards are better, oh it makes me want to throw up”
“Dragons, not fucking lizards, Magestic Dragons”
“ALRIGHT YOU TWO” The blond one snaps his fingers, garnering their attention “How about we pay a visit to the beastmen and find ourselves a dragon too” He looks towards me in confirmation that dragons exist. They do, but they are scarce and dangerous, extremely dangerous.
Mumbles of approval and dissent from the two.
“And mermaids”
“Yes and mermaids too Sean” He turns back to me his usual nice visage warped with a look of restlessness “Now King, I’m going to tell you three things which is the simple truth. Firstly, we’re not heroes, I mean look at us: we’ve got a cripple, someone who looks like they haven’t seen the sun or a shower for way too long, an obese kid and me who is far less heroic than some in this room” I knew that but kinks in armour can be remolded and reshaped to work again “Secondly we’re not killers, in fact I don’t think any of us would actually be alright or even able to kill anything”
“Nah I’m cool with killing things”
“Ditto, especially furry animals”
“Ooh killing, like COD?!”
“hahh…not exactly like COD but close enough. But what if I said you had to kill beastmen like you want to see”
“Yeah fuck that, that isn’t happening”
“I mean totally”
“If you harm my catladies I will rip into you”
“Ooh I’d love to see you catch me lest actually catch a catlady wahaha”
“Alright you two, simmer down for now. Right so King, you see we’re not wanting to kill indiscriminately, just for bad reasons” He looks at the one in the corner who was about to interrupt.
So they’re not killers, that’ll change quickly in this world, so I’m not too worried about that, plus I’ll just make sure their missions don’t clash with their likes? I’m confused whether they like these beasts or something more?
“Thirdly is fuck being a hero”
…
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Wait what?
The blond begins walking away as his words sink in, he doesn’t want to be a hero, but why not? It’s the dream of literally all the citizens in this nation, why does he not want to be regaled by the masses?
“Wait a second, why don’t you want to be a hero?”
“Because it will be hard, stressful and I won’t have the freedom to randomly travel around without being hailed or attacked because of my status, so I’m rather fine making my own way in this world. But ah wait, since you did forcibly summon us here, I would like some compensation, human rights as it were, so that me and these others can get on our feet”
He’s demanding something from his king? After starting to walk out on me being point blank rude towards me? How DARE he! Who does he think he is being so disrespectful towards me, a KING!? I’ll teach him and the other some manner in my dungeons!
“GUARDS”
“My lord” Fiera jumps to a bow before me as I take a step down. “These are heroes and cannot be touched under Rikcha’s Law”
…Oh divines help me.
I wave the guards back to their posts “Fine but these lot aren’t allowed to just walk out the palace and waste the lives of our summoners!” May died in the attempt to summon them. I can't just let them waltz out.
“Actually…they are” Oh divines you have got to be kidding me “A heroes path is never pre-determined, they must choose their own path and we must abide by it, as they will fulfil their duties as hero guided by Rikcha’s hands”
“Right so how is fucking a dragon fulfilling our duty as a hero?” The one crawling towards the exit looks at Fiera confusedly.
…Fucking a dragon, what kind of messed up notion is that?
“Er, Rikcha knows, I can only assume that it helps” She doesn’t seem sure at all, damn the power of the divines of the people. if it were in my right i'd have them beheaded on the spot.
“…Right. Perfect” He nods still digesting the information.
The blond claps his hands “So now that we’ve been given the ok, how about we leave the palace and try find, erm…”
“An adventurer’s guild? It seems like the best place to start from especially as they travel around a lot like I’m planning to do.” The one in the corner speaks up, oh so he is knowledgeable about our world then?
“Right so goodbye you scaly shit”
“No you must stay together” Fiera jumps up towards the crawling man
“Look at me go” He continues crawling
“I mean no offense m’lady Fiera, but why would I want to stick with these people?”
“Because you are bound together”
…
..
.
“So it’s not a choice?” His crawling abates somewhat
“One hundred kilometres in the most distance you can put upon one another”
“Wait that’s supposed to stop us from separating?” And he’s back to crawling away. He’s rather annoying me.
“That isn’t nearly as far enough away from the furry freak”
“Same to you, you scaly whore”
“You don’t understand, one hundred kilometres isn’t far and if you separate even a metre more, you will all die”
“So what if one of us accidentally teleports to the end of the world”
“You all die. It has happened before and if any one of you die, the rest of you die too”
…
..
.
“Well shit, guess like we’re stuck with eachother” The mostly unspoken rule of heroes, when summoned they are linked to one another, and any break in this link, whether it be death or distance kills all.
Snapping my fingers, I get my physician to distribute a forgetfulness potion to all my guard and himself, since the rule is only known within royalty and the priesthood.
“Yes, so don’t try to harm eachother or run away, it’s vital you all live and work together”
“But how do I go see the mermaids?” Sean is finally standing, wobbling his way over to Fiera with tears lurking in his eyes
“We’ll take you there” The blond one speaks up
“Hey what about my beastladies?”
“Forget that what about my dragonladies?”
“He’s the ACTUAL kid here so why don’t we help him first”
“But he won’t even get to enjoy the best part of meeting them”
“Yeah I’m actually with him here, I mean he looks barely 12”
“I’m 14 and I can’t wait to have sex with one”
Did he just say…so that means the others were talking about…these humans are extremely messed up. I can’t believe these are supposed to be one sixth of the fated heroes of the humans…and I can’t even touch them directly due to Rikcha’s law.
“eww 14 year old fucking a mermaid, don’t need that image in my head”
“I’m amazed anything but fur is in your head”
“Stop bickering you two, right since Sean actually knows about that but he’s 14 I say we have the oldest member choose what we’re doing. I’m 26 which makes me the oldest”
“Hang on a sec, why do you get to make the decisions, just because you’re the oldest?” the crawling one whines
“Because I’ve actually lived in the world so I’m the most experienced”
“If we’re going with experience I’m definitely the winner, plus I’m 32” The one in the corner stands up, rather proudly”
“You’re not only a scaly, you’re a basement freak, just perfect”
“And you’re sooo much better being a furry”
“At least I did something with my life called university”
“Masters in Computer Science, fucking useless thank you”
“Oh don’t bloody tell me that, I’m doing that”
“You guys did Compsci as well? Bloody hell there might actually be a reason why we were all summoned”
“I’m 14, what is computer science?”
“Nevermind” All three chime as they look at Sean
“Right so as the oldest and most experienced, Fiera is there a dragon queen or something similar?”
“I don’t know but dragons used to rule the lands millennia’s ago so it is a possibility”
“Perfect then let’s go find a dragon queen!”
“Wait a second, millennia’s ago, you expect us just to piss about trying to find one how about we do something more viable like find the beastman ruler?”
“Ew you don’t care about its gender, vile furry”
“Experience is different but it can be fun either way”
“I’m with er…the crippled one here”
“Billy and disabled please, we’re still politically correct people”
“Talking about fucking animals, yeah totally”
“And Mermaids”
“I could actually get under that too since fish scales might be nice too”
“I’m actually disgusted at the thought”
“ALRIGHT since we all want to do our own bloody thing, how about we leave it to Fiera to decide what we should do first”
“Excuse me but what are you planning to do, since we’ve got Fucking a mermaid, dragon queen or beastmen ruler?”
“Mermaid queen, too, I want to fuck one too”
“Unlike all of you who have virgile fantasies, I want to meet a vampiress”
“Twilight fanboy alert”
“Holy shit and I thought it was bad enough meeting a furry, nevermind a furry is way worse”
“But aren’t mermaids better?”
“Firstly, twilight is shit, secondly I like them cold”
“Oh…my fucking god I can’t believe you just said that”
“Urp, oh that’s disgusting, and I’m actually with Scaly over here”
“I’m Drake you furry but yeah oh god, how and why that’s just vile”
“What does he like cold?”
“He fucks dead people”
“Way to be politically correct, jeesh he’s 14 and like any of you are any better”
“Ew, dead people that sounds gross”
"We like living thins, it's a lot better"
“You guys wouldn’t understand”
“Please don’t tell me, I’ve got enough nightmares with Furry and his orgylike fantasy”
“It’s not going to be an orgy just a threeway at most”
“Oh please stop only with one can you fully experience their body as a whole”
“You sound like a fucking cannibal, actually are you one too?”
“Ew no, eating people is disgusting”
“But fucking dead one’s isn’t”
“it’s different”
“Actually an orgy would be good, me and many mermaids”
*BLAARHGHGHAGHH*
The extraordinarily vile conversation stops abruptly as Fiera throws up on the floor, heaving all her insides out due to all all the vividly disgusting mental imagery that I’m also receiving from the dialogue.
If I had any power to kill them, I certainly would, but then again even the founder of our church, Bishop Larks had a dark side to him; forcing all initiates to be subjected to a gangrape from all the older members…
Luckily the public never knew much about that, but once again the royalty knows everything…sometimes too much.
“Sorry Fiera, we’ll try to not talk so vividly about it from now on when around you, alright guys?” A mumble of consent
“Diving Rikcha please have mercy on your devoted apostle, don’t curse me with the burden of these monstrous things I am forced to call hero” I just barely hear her whispering prayer.
The once blessing of being Rikcha’s apostle was to accompany the heroes and be their guidance in this world…seems like a most horrifying curse in this scenario.
“So Fiera what is our first big quest going to be?” All of them look at her expectantly, like children asking their mother to buy them sweets at a stall..
…
“My King, Rentro approaches with his heroes” Oh please let them be better than last time.
“Upon my wish, four grand looking heroes march through the doorway and I stand up exhilarated.
“Welcome Heroes to the Kingdom of Ardanic. You have been summoned to be our protectors in the war against the demonkind an-”
“Excuse me but did you say demons?” OH NOT AGAIN!!!