(Fiera’s POV)
“Barmaid 4 Tankards of ale, and whatever else they’re having”
The worried looking barmaid doesn’t ask questions and quickly skirts around the table asking my new nightmares what they want to drink.
The cripple, Billy, asks for milk, ponce not much of a surprise since he can’t walk.
Drake, the creepy quiet and all around freaky fellow asks for some ale. At least he can drink like a man.
The fatso, Sean gets a glass of milk too, 14 isn’t of age yet but that freakishly large and sexually minded kid is definitely beyond his age…and not in a good way.
And the scariest of them all, seemingly normal except for his tastes…is Bram. I so thought he was ok, even apologising when he threw up all over me, unlike the others when they appeared and shattered all my hopes and dreams without even a slightly apologetic look.
They were supposed to be heroes, the stuff of legends and I was supposed to guide them, maybe fall in love with one, maybe all of them…but that little fantasy has been ripped from its root without mercy.
Bram had been my final hope and that was unerringly shattered when he told me…urp stop thinking about it.
I trust in Rikcha and am forever in his service…but I’m not going to enjoy any part of it that’s for sure.
Bram orders water…well that’s just sad. Seriously get some alcohol, Divines know I need it.
Anyways alcohol is in front of me so let the drinking begin.
*Gulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulp-*
“Erm, aren’t you a priestess?” Bram raises an eyebrow at me as I violently chug the bitter ale.
“Ahhhhh. I’m an apostle, I get freedom from many sins but in return I am given tasks beyond the normal priest…like helping you people” I almost forgot, ontop of them being completely and utterly horrible people they also know nothing about this world.
Lapsing into silence, we all drink quickly…well in my case anyway.
At least Billy isn’t whining about being carried everywhere anymore: he gave in as we reached the streets…since it has been raining and it is very muddy I doubted he’d want to crawl along that.
Although I did half expect him to…
“So…Fiera” Oh no they’re going to talk to me again, better get started on number 2 “What is your decision” Dammit almost forgot about that...I actually get to set them on their path, Rikcha definitely has a hand in this. I must not screw it up…must not.
“Ahhhh. We’re…going to find the elves”
…
..
.
“Why?” All 4 of them look at me funny.
“Because that’s what I want to do, and at least they don’t kill humans on sight unlike everything else you are planning to do!”
“Yeah but none of us care about the elves?” Sean points out as more of a question. “They’re just pointy eared humans right?” Billy raises his voice curiously and the bar goes ever so slightly quieter “Furry you really should do your homework more often, elves are the near immortal beings famous for their magical affinity and archery skills…and yes their pointy ears. They’re not as dull as the normal human” “Elves are slaves, basically” I put down my drink…fools don’t know anything about this world and they already want to go out and find a dragon! Hah, I’d let them if it didn’t mean me dying as well… “They were conquered by us a few decades ago and we have a sort of peace with them: they teach special individuals magic and we don’t murder and enslave them. It mostly works”
“So we’re going to see them to learn magic? But why couldn’t we just go to a human mage?”
“Because most of them are busy and why would they want to waste their time teaching you anyways? Plus they’re not legally allowed to teach anyways, not after the first few fiascos” I did mention the heroes that got teleported and died didn’t I?
“Well I guess off to the elves then…” Bram rolls his eyes “But magic Twilight Fanboy, it’ll be awesome!”
“Already told you I don’t like Twilight”
“The first spell I’m learning is to shut Scaly up”
“I’ll make sure mine is to kill you or even better turn you into a lizard”
“Please don’t I don’t want to get fucked by you multiple ways”
“Ew, dragons not bloody lizards”
“Same thing”
“Is not you absolute tw-”
*Bang*
“You two, shut up! We’re going to the elves, but first I’m going to teach you how to fight, tomorrow…there’s a room for you all upstairs and yes you’re going to learn how to sleep in the same room without killing eachother so good luck. MAID, 3 MORE” I hope the ale knocks me out before I bash my head on the table enough to do the job.
“Fine” they all groan before getting back to their drinks in awkward silence.
…
*Chirp chirp*
Ahugh it burns. Oh the sun, it hurrrts.
Sitting up…come on body sit up, oh wait I’m lying on my front. Push up body!
*Groan*
My eyes are so crusty…it’s like a cried them shut. Ugh I don’t feel so good…
How much did I drink last night? I remember the conversation about the elves at the beginning…and then woke up…here?
…
..
.
Where am i?
Craning my stiff neck around the spinny room…I’m on the floor and I see three, no four empty beds
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
…
..
.
Am I in their room?
Oh god, why am I in their room? What happened last night?
*Shiver*
Where are my clothes
…
..
.
WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!
Jumping up and stumbling around, I look around for my clothes but don’t find them anywhere…Please Rikcha don’t tell me I…urp oh I want to die.
Peeking out the door into the silent corridor, I race to where my room is supposed to be and sure enough see my own clothes there.
Here’s my robe…and my hat.
Where are the rest of my clothes?
Groggily searching around the room reveals nothing else but my staff of priestdom.
I’m going to find those bastards and have them confess what they did to me last night. As if they weren’t already horrible enough before.
Stumbling down the stairs, holding the robe down in case of winds, I make it to the bar and ask the innkeep about my companions.
“Oh that lot? Left quite early. Good that their gone, their glumness was killing the mood quite a bit” If you knew they were some of the ‘great’ heroes everyone is wishing to be or meet. “Hope you had fun at least”
Thanking him, I trod outside and to the exit of the city…I mean where else would they go? Buggers most likely tried to skip town while I was asleep.
It seems like it’s heavily past midday, I slept for quite a while it seems.
Ignoring more than a few stares coming my way, I make it outside and walk straight towards a group of familiar looking people, who are not so far way hunting the rabbits that graze the expansive field.
“Hey Furry there’s a rabbit, how about you crawl over and give it a little taste of your shrivelled cock” He points at a hopping rabbit with his crossbow.
“How about I kill it, shove it down your throat and let you choke on it”
“Nah I think you prefer deepthroats”
“Seriously you two, just bloody kill the thing already”
“But it’s a cute rabbit, why are we killing it?” Sean looks up at Bram who is currently wiping his new rapier on Sean’s clothes.
“I mean Fiera’s money isn’t going to last forever and her underwear money is already go-”
“SO IT WAS YOU”
“Oh sh-”
“YOU ABSOLUTE DIVINE DAMNED BASTARDS. HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY CLOTHES AND MONEY AFTER TAKING ME ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR ROOM. HOW DARE YOU”
“We di-”
“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR A WORD OF IT, RETURN ME MY MONEY AND MY CLOTHES AND THEN WE’LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE BLOODY ELVES”
“About tha-”
“NOW” I AM DONE WITH THESE PEOPLE, WE ARE HEADED TO THE ELVES AND IF THEY DIE THEY BLOODY WELL DIE.
“There’s no money left”
…
..
.
“WHAT. HOW HAVE YOU SPENT ALL MY MONEY, ALL OF IT!!?”
“Well camping equipment, weapons and condiments really”
Not a complete waste since it was what I’d planned to do with it anyways but still, how have they spent all that gold already, on just that!
“Give me my clothes then”
“Yeah…kind of sold it as a trade for some pots”
“…you…sold my clothes for pots…FOR POTS!?”
“Yeah we kind of need so-”
“FIRSTLY IT’S ILLEGAL TO SELL WOMEN’S UNDERGARMENTS SO HOW IN THE NAME OF RIKCHA YOU SOLD THEM I HAVE NO IDEA AND SECONDLY HOW IS IT POSSIBLE YOU SOLD IT FOR JUST THAT. I’M A VIRGIN APOSTLE OF RIKCHA, THEY’RE WORTH AT LEAST A HORSE”
“Oh you were a virgin? The sounds you made definitely didn’t acquit to that” Bram gives me a slow understanding nod.
“OH DON’T YOU DAAARE TELL ME YOU RAPED ME AS WELL, RIKCHA BE DAMNED IF YOU DID I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF RIGHT NOW”
“We didn’t do anything I swear on whoever the hell is in charge in this world. You just picked a random guy and took him upstairs, next time we saw you was when you burst into our room, tossed your underwear at us screaming at us to sell them like the whore you are and then passed out on the floor” …
..
.
Staring at all their faces incredulously, not a single flicker of lies appear at all.
“So…I really…”
*Slump*
“Yeah, you are loud must I say” Drake cleans his ears annoyed
“Don’t look too distraught the first time happens that way often. Plus he was quite a looker, might’ve had a piece myself if he had a tail, ears and some fur, maybe some extra canines would be a good addition too…”
“Guys let the poor woman console herself…she doesn’t even remember it, making the whole experience worthless”
“Worthless…yeah you’re right, I am worthless. I’ve sinned against my Divine and now I’m truly worthless” I can’t believe I let my drunk self do such a thing, desecrate my holy temple to my God…
“Wait aren’t you allowed to sin?” Bram comes up to me, squatting in front.
“Desecrating the body that has been given to my Divine is not allowed and there’s only one thing I can do to amend it”
“Don’t kill yourself we kind of need you…plus your underwear sells for quite a few pans”
*Twitch* “I have to kill the one who made me sin”
“…Totally makes sense of course” Something about that tone wasn’t sincere “Well off to kill some random stranger then I guess” Drake starts waltzing in the general direction
“What did he look like and where did he go?”
“Tall, dark, muscular and a jaw to smash stones with” Billy nods satisfactory at his memory “don’t know where he went to though, apart from your bedroom”
“He went to Elushha forest you Furry failure”
“Elushha you said?” I know that place, in the wrong damned direction it is
“Yep, he and his party were doing something it seems”
“To Elushha forest it is then!”
“Wait a second, weren’t we heading to the elves to learn magic or something?”
Bram raises an eyebrow “We’re. Going. To. Elushha. Forest. To. Kill. This. Man”
“But he and his party looked pretty strong and well equipped too” Billy makes a good point but I don’t care!
“Then you better train from here to there with your new fancy and expensive weapons you bought with my money!”
*Twang* “Fine mother, but let’s kill a few more rabbits for dinner, to celebrate the first member of our party to lose their virginity in this world” Billy pulls the string of his crossbow until it clicks in place.
“Mention it again and I will beat you to death and I am not your mother, if i was i would've drowned you in the well years ago” I stand above him glaring. It shall not be mentioned every again.
"You already know the lines" Drake laughs out
“Don’t be so soppily angry about it, it’s your fault for getting so drunk” He ignores my threat and of course I thwack him around the head with my staff
“Woah woah Fiera, don’t actually kill the cripple, his life’s already hard enough as it is, plus we’ll all die if he does” Bram grabs hold of me as I go for round two.
“Grrrr” He’s not wrong but Rikcha I hope I get a nice comfy spot beside you when I’m done with this shitty life.
“Also we could fork out a little to get you some more underwear” why Bram? It’s not like any of you actually care about human bodies anyway you freaks
“N…n..nipples” My head turns on Sean who is staring red-faced at me.
Aaagh creepy kid. Stop staring, oh god I forget mermaids have half human body.
“We don’t have the money to spare though, plus who’s to say she doesn’t like it, with what I heard last night” Drake complains
“Say that again to me closer, I didn’t hear you so well the first time” I growl at him, clenching my staff hard. I don’t like wearing no underwear, it’s cold, odd and I get too many stares for my liking.
“…We’ll get you underwear once we have the money then, but until that time welcome to being a free woman” Bram nods satisfied at his own decision and goes back to hunting rabbits, after giving me a pitying pat on the head.
I swear one day, I’m going to throw you all in acid and watch you scream…
...
(Another’s POV)
“Miss you cannot walk around the streets naked, it’s unseemly of such a woman” A heavily armed guard stops my…ally… on the street along with his buddy.
“You misogynistic pig, how dare you sexualise my body. It’s not sexual at all, look at me, I’m just flesh. Get over it, I can walk how I like where I like and wearing what I like and if you can’t handle it, fuck off” And she's off again, just when I thought she had enough screaming at me...
“Sorry miss but what I think my colleague meant is that your entire body’s flab wobbling is making everyone cry in digust as they watch you, so please put some clothes on before someone vomits themselves to death”
“How dare you, my body is beautiful, beautiful I tell you you fat shaming asshole-”
*Thunk*
“Sorry Sirs, my ally has had a bit of mental trauma with men and needs some recuperation. Sorry again” I give the guards a forgiving handshake, coins slyly being left in their capable hands. “Now we’ll be off if you don’t mind” I tip my black fedora at them before getting the two others to distraughtingly help the almost two hundred kilo if not more woman off the street.
Father always said a gentleman shouldn't hit a lady...but i think this woman makes the exceptions.
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Author's Corner:
Aaand they're off to the elves...well not really...apparently they're off to find and kill someone as you do. tune in for the next chapter...which is happening sometime soon!