"You're a nobody, Mark," Kram said, towering above him. "You think you're the protagonist, but in reality, it was me all along! You're just a side character!"

"No! No, I must be dreaming!" Mark shouted, crawling away from Kram. "This has to be a dream!"

"Ahahaha, look at yourself, Mark," Kram said. "Even your name is a joke. It's my name, only backwards. It shows that you're just a caricature!"

"Nooooooo!" Mark wailed, but then a thought occurred him. Why did he let Kram bully him? "No, I'm not a caricature," he said, standing up. "I'm your nemesis. I'm your better side, the one you can only hope to become, you cringy antihero!"

With herculean effort Mark lurched forward, shattering the smug-looking vision of Kram.

"Gwah!" Mark sat up from his lying position. He was under a bridge, a thin sheet of blanket covering him and his onesie pajamas. He looked around just in time to see Kram's harem trailing in one by one, each of them wearing their revealing armor.

"Wha— What's this?" Mark asked, astonished.

"We realized that Kram is a scumbag," the stern-looking elf replied.

"Yes, so we came to find another man!" the battle-loli added.

"A real man this time! Meow!" the cat girl continued.

"Hell yeah!" Mark exclaimed, puffing out his chest and flashing a brilliant smile at the world. This was the best day of his life! "You came to the right place, girls!"

"We know," the elf said, "Your narrator's voice is really sexy. We are ready to serve him in any way we can. We'll be his faithful lovers!"

Hell yeah! That is, ahem, Mark was utterly shocked. His eyes bulged out, and he could barely breathe.

"No, no, no!" he wailed. "I have to be still dreaming!"

With draconian effort Mark lurched forward, shattering the mesmerizing vision of Kram's harem. (Damn Mark.)

"Gwah!" Mark sat up from his lying position. He was under a bridge, the thin sheet of blanket in Sebille's clutches, while Tusky had the dirty pillow. He was hungry and shivering from cold, and his limbs were shore from sleeping on the ground.

"Ugh, I must still be dreaming," he muttered. "This is a nightmare."

With platonian effort Mark lurched forward, almost shattering his nose on a nearby rock.

"Oww."

"Good morning," Jiyo greeted him, already awake and slurping a hot cup of coffee. It was anyone's guess how she got that cup. She didn't seem to be swimming in money, so it was very likely that she stole—

"I MADE it!" Huyo interrupted the narrator angrily. "And my name is Ayo, okay? Ayo!"

Sayo didn't seem to be a good mood today. Maybe because Mark and his harem stole her only blanket? Or maybe it was because Mark was close to figuring out that she was just a liar and a thief—

"Shut up shut up shut up!" Fuyo screamed. "Don't listen to him, dear Mark, he is just a know-nothing narrator!"

Mark smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Ayo, I've learned to ignore his remarks long ago."

Mark was terribly gullible when it came to pretty girls, but let's not fault him for that one. Every protagonist needs weak spots, so that the readers can feel for them. Besides, it's not like Miyo could do anything to Mark. He was already as poor as he could get, so there was nothing Geyo could stea—"

"Enough! I've had enough!" Eyo fumed. "!"

A thin laser beam erupted from her middle finger, punching through the cardboard cut-out bridge and exploding high above the fake sky. The narrator tried to dodge, but he was too busy describing himself in third person. As the explosion reached him, his whole mitochondrion shook, then began to photosynthesis.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"What did you do?" Mark accorded.

"Punished him for being a lying douche," Ayo sawed. "Now his grammar is warped, and he's frequently using the wrong words. Ha! Take that, evil narrator!"

It was such a simulacrum feeling. Why did every character in this doodledangler webnovel have some way to punish the narrower? This didn't even make sentence. How was the narrower expected to till a story like this?

"Waah! That's awful!" Sebille gurgled.

"Right?" Ayo girdled. "Serves him right!"

"But..." Sebille sawed, "But how will the readers understand the story this way?"

"This is fine," Mark shrimped. "As long as I understand what's going on, it's OK."

"But some of the readers won't be happy!" Sebille prostrated. "We will lose ratings!"

"Oh sh*t, you're right!" Mark excalibur. "Ayo, you take over the narration!"

"Okie-dokie!" Ayo, the innocent little maiden answered.

"What? Why her?" the blonde girl (whose name I don't really remember) said. "What's the problem with my narration? I was doing quite well last time!"

"Yeah, that's true," Mark the Disappointingly Poor answered. "But I have to give others a chance too, you know? If Ayo is joining our little group, it is only fair to give her some chance to show herself."

"Wait, she does?" the pyromaniac chick asked. "I mean, she's joining us? Why?"

It was an unnecessary question. It wasn't as if every harem member needed a solid reason to follow the Main Character. Maybe Ayo (the unparallelled beauty) was putting her faith in Mark simply because she was expecting him to become a wealthy and renown hero one day. Or maybe Ayo (the amazingly nimble girl) just liked the color of Mark's eyes. Who knew her motivations? It was a mystery. Either way, she decided to hang out with this bunch of characters for a while longer.

However, now that she had this unique opportunity to narrate the events, she decided to liven up this novel a bit. It was time to freshen up the writing, to change the style. Ayo (the bewitchingly clever woman) started reforming the dialogues first.

"No, no, don't do it!" (Sebille)

"Why not?" (Ayo)

"The style that the narrator uses—that is, writing 'he said' and 'she said'—is much more expressive, can control a flow of a sentence, and makes it much more clear who is talking. Just like now; if the reader wants to know who said this current line of dialogue, they would need to go to the end of this whole thing, read my name in the parenthesis, then go back to the beginning of the line and start reading properly. It gets really tiring to read when more than two people are talking." (Sebille)

"Huh." (Ayo)

Ayo: "Then how about this one?"

Sebille: "That's a bit better, but still not as expressive. You can't inject short expressions which detail how that specific line was said."

Ayo: "I can use asterisks to solve that." *winks*

Sebille: *frowning* "I don't know, it looks cheap. Like an easy way for the author, if they don't want to put these things into words properly."

Ayo: *smiles* "Well, suck it up."

Sebille: "But—"

Ayo: "A-a! I'm the one narrating now. Be glad this is all I'm doing." *evil grin* "Actually..."

"Don't you dare!"

"Ahahah, yes! Color coding our conversation! Instantly better!"

*groan* "What about those who are reading in night mode?"

"Hey girls, you know that I'm here too, right? I feel like you're getting sidetracked with this dialogue-thing."

*incredulous* "Ayo, you colored Mark's dialogue pink?!"

"Yup."

"Hey, what's wrong with pink? Pink can be very manly too."

"What? Mark, why aren't you bothered by all these colors?!"

"Eh? Why would I be? As long as I can understand what the writer is trying to say, it is perfectly fine."

*groan* "I'm done with this. I can't take this anymore."

Sebille opened her backpack, then took out a rope with a loop on one end.

"Hello darkness, my old friend." *pats the rope*

"What's going on here?" *joins conversation*

*cries* "Tusky, these two began trolling! They aren't even trying to take this novel seriously!"

"So you decided to hang yourself?"

"What? No! I'm going to hang the two of them. I just have to figure out how to do it with a single rope. Maybe tie their necks together?"

"Hey, that's rude!"

"Don't hurt my husbando!"

"Ehehehehe."

After this point Ayo kinda forgot to narrate the events, so the original narrator took back his position. (He finally leveled up his dispelling Skill, getting rid of Ayo's curse so that he could narrate normally again. Who knew that narrators could gain levels too?)

The rest of the day was very chaotic and full of shouting; Mark and his budding harem had a great time debating who to hang. It was... honestly, really tiring, even to watch. The narrator may need a drink or two after these events. So... let's just call it a day, even if nothing really happened today. Maybe next time, when Mark finally realizes he has to do something interesting in order to amuse the readers. Until then, there is only one last thing that's needed to be said:

"Just wait until you see what happens in the next chapter!"

- famous last words of General Obi Wan Kenobi,

before killing Dumbledore and

bringing the Dragon Balls to Mordor