Mark put away his tablet with a sigh, then concentrated on making progress with the story.

"Alright," he said, "I have a feeling that I need something extra. Be right back!"

He ran off to the distance with one of his Ninja skills, a cloud of dust billowing in his wake. He returned a short while later—

"It was a long while!" Sebille griped.

He returned a long while later, carrying a bucket of water, a bowl, and some pepper and salt.

"Alright," Mark said, rubbing his hands together. "My mother always said that anything could be made into a soup. All you need is water, heat, and some ingredients."

With that, Mark dumped the water on the fire, then threw a rabbit carcass and the bowl on top of it, and finally he hinted it with a dash of pepper.

"Are you retarded?!" Sebille exclaimed, looking at the remains of the fire.

"What?" Mark asked, confused. "Crafting in video games is always simple. You just have to combine stuff. The order doesn't matter."

"Does it look like the order didn't matter?!" Sebille asked, pointing at the empty bowl that was lying on the remnants of their fire.

"Well..." Mark trailed off, trying to find some kind of excuse. "Hey look! An orc girl is coming this way."

Thank the almighty author, an orc player entered the scene right when Mark needed it the most. He really didn't have any excuse for messing up his rabbit soup, but he didn't want to look stupid in front of Sebille.

Mark's relief was short-lived, however. As the orc player came closer, Mark could see her name: KissMyTusk18. She was a notorious player and reader of web novels. She was the exact opposite of Mark: she rated every fiction 0.5 stars. She always complained after reading them, and would have given even lower scores if 0/5 would have been allowed.

"Heh, what do we have here?" KissMyTusk18 asked as she got closer. She sneered at Mark, baring her fangs. "Yet another goody two-shoes RRL reader who'll kneel before my might."

Mark got to his feet, ready to fight. He was the good guy protagonist, and he needed to show this woman the right way. He needed to teach her a lesson, and he wasn't above giving her a beating to do so. He had never tried to PK before, but he was fairly sure he could do it. He was OP and cool, and girls like KissMyTusk18 wouldn't stand a chance against him.

"Oh, shut up, you think you know everything?" KissMyTusk18 said, turning towards the sky. "Take this! !"

A thin beam of energy shot forth from her palm, going upwards. It exited through the ceiling that was painted to look like the sky, then exploded. And then—

Npthing happend. Mark and Seblille loked in confuson,, not undestanding what hapend.. but then they're eyes widened as their understand wat hapend.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"Oh no!" SEblille siad. "Is this what I think it is?"

Mrk shruged. "Yeah, I guess. It's not a big deal. I bet the readers can still understand what's happening. This attack was actually pretty useless." hee turned back tto kissMytusk

"Is that the best that you got?"

"Hah!" she said,,, "I haven't even started!"

Although , Mark was disconcernd,, kisMyTusk19s attac was worse then he thought....... many reader's will drop the novell ifit cuntinoud like dis. if npthing else, thöse grammer rattings will drop a lot it would make marks storie lose populariti.

"Alright, fine!" marko shuted. "Sebille, you take over the narration!"

"Eh? Me?" seblie asked

"Just do it!"

"""""""O-Okay!" said Sebille," said Sebille," said Sebille," said Sebille," said Sebille," said Sebille—

""And cut the recursion!" Mark said," I said.

"Okay, I'm almost there," I said. "Sorry this takes time getting used to."

"You guys done chattin'?" I asked—No, I mean, the orc lady asked! Umm, KissMyTusk18 asked!

Now, this had been some true mindfuckery! (Sorry for swearing. I thought this would be something that the narrator would say.) I could barely follow what was going on, and I was actually one of the characters here.

"Bring it on!" Mark told the orc girl. Despite his brave words, he couldn't help but feel a little bit of trepidation. The orc girl was beautiful, in an orcish-kind of way. She looked like... well, you know, like orc girls usually look like in these litRPG novels. Not brutish and ugly. A bit bestial, a bit feral and feisty, but very athletic and alluring as well. Even with those tusks protruding from her mouth. If someone had a tusk-fetish, KissMyTusk18 would surely give them wet dreams.

"Sebille!" Mark admonished me. "Focus!"

Ah, yes! There was a fight about to begin, seemingly for no reason. Well, it had some kind of reason, just like every argument on the internet has, but it was still kind of pointless. But not pointless for the plot, of course! While internet arguments tend to be—

"SEBILLE!"

Yes, yes, the fight began. Tusky opened with a swing of her sword, and Mark responded with a swing of his sword. They were swinging swords here and there. I didn't know what kind of techniques they used, and honestly, I didn't really care. It was kinda boring. I hoped that they would finish soon and I could have a coffee break—

"Sebille!" Mark shouted once again. "Stay in character!"

—I mean, I hoped that they would finish soon BY BURNING EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND! Mwuhahaha!

"Not bad for an amateur," Tusky said as she dodged Mark's fireball.

"This is nothing," Mark taunted Tusky.

"Call me Tusky one more time girl," Tusky suddenly said to me, "And I'll make you cry."

I didn't even have time to cry (out) as Tusky launched herself at me, sword aimed at my heart.

"Hah, not so fast!" Mark said, instead of trying to stop Tusky before she reached me!!

"Noo!" I cried out dramatically as Tusky closed in, but Mark appeared right in front of me and deflected Tusky's sword with ease.

"Nooo, no way, how can you be so fast?!" Tusky complained, "That's cheating! There is no such skill in this game that lets you move like that!"

"Yeeesss, let the saltiness flow through you," Mark said. "Nothing is impossible for me! I'm the protagonist! Hahaha!"

"Impossible!" Tusky said (even though Mark had just told her that nothing was impossible).

Mark's salt-meter was filling up nicely, and he decided to try out one of Master Kawaii's techniques.

"Watch this," he said, and Tusky stopped to watch.

Mark crouched down, then began to shout with all his might as the air vibrated around him. He was either trying to do his super saiyan transformation, or he was having difficulties pooping. Either way, he shouted a lot.

Once he was done, he straightened up. His hair was floating upwards in the windless air, and his pants were thankfully poop-free. He then looked Tusky in the eye, and echoed his late Master's favorite one-liner on a deep, baritone voice.

"Omae wa mou shindeiru."

The air shimmered, and Mark suddenly reappeared right behind Tusky.

"NANI?!" Tusky shouted, but she was already dead. Her HP bar disappeared in an instant, and she was sent right back to the nearest town to respawn.

Which was unfortunately only 30 seconds of walk from here, so she'll be back in the next chapter.

"STOP WITH ALL THESE SPOILERS," Mark shouted at the end of this chapter.