“What the fuck do you think you were doing? Everyone knows how stupid it is to fly over a blizzard. You’re better off freezing to death inside the snowstorm than trying to move over one.” Jav lands beside me, face morphed into a scowl.

“What?” Why wouldn’t I go over? It looked like the safest place at the time.

“Ja~av,” Remus calls with a singsong tone. “She’s no volan, did you forget? Your bogeymen and fairy-tales mean nothing to her.”

“Oh... Right. Uh, sorry.” Jav looks away. “Look, the frost spectres that follow above blizzards are some of the most dangerous creatures you can come across. We have a children’s story told amongst us volans. The Matron of Winter. She was the mightiest mage of her time, able to bend blizzards to her will. She wiped out armies and monsters alike with the ice storms she conjured. But it hadn’t been enough for her. She wanted to see more of the beauty that lay in snow.”

Jav points up at the mountains behind us. “She climbed the alps and made the blizzards there her own. With her mastery over ice, she flew high through the storms. She pierced through the heights of the blizzard in order to view it all. Nobody knows whether the sight she saw was as beautiful as she hoped. The Matron of Winter froze to death.”

“While nobody is sure if the Matron of Winter was a real person, or even if the frost spectres are real,” Remus starts. “It is true that there are things in this world that are impossible to take on, no matter how much strength you gain. Every culture — especially those along the Titan Alps — has stories warning against the arrogance of challenging the unknown. Even that which you think of as your strength, might become your end.”

❖❖❖

After that scare with the blizzard, we ended our excursion and head back to the lodge I met Grímr and Tetsu. I was surprised to see Tetsu not fight the idea of ending the hunting trip. Her constant one minded focus on fighting and growing had me forget she was also training me in the spear.

Once we were far down the mountain enough that snow no longer covered the ground, she addresses me. “Solvei, change to normal.”

She, nor any of the others, slow at her words, so I land on Grímr’s back and morph. As soon as I’m done, I look up questioningly at Tetsu, only to barely catch the thrown spear in time.

“From here until we get back, you are going to practice your forms.”

“On Grímr’s back?” I ask incredulously.

“Yes, on his back. You need to be prepared to fight, no matter where you are.”

I look down at the wooden spear in my hands. My hands move to their proper placements along the shaft as I move my legs around the sides of Grímr’s neck. I take a swing, trying to get comfortable with the panther’s movement.

“No. Stand up.” Tetsu’s gruff voice commands from behind.

“What? But I’ll fall off.”

“That’s fine. If you lose your balance, I’ll put you right back on.”

I glance behind me, hoping she’s kidding, but she retains the same seriousness as always.

With one hand grasping my spear and the other a handful of Grímr’s fur, I drag my knees underneath me. Once I feel steady enough, I try to place one foot on his back. I’m lucky Grímr’s back is so wide; there’s plenty of space to stand.

It’s only when I let go of his fur and try to rise, does his pace falter. Grímr dashes over some felled tree and sends me tumbling off his side.

Before I reach the ground, Tetsu has me in her grasp and places back on top of the portian.

“You have very little heft, so perfect balance and speed is a must if you want to fight. Weapon or no,” Tetsu chides.

Grímr looks over his shoulder at me. “Sorry.”

“No apologies.” She snaps. “Don’t make it easy for her. Dash around as many trees as you have to.”

Grímr snaps his head back to the front, but I’m thankful he doesn’t start making it impossible for me. In fact, I can feel him straighten his back. It doesn’t help much, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Once again, I lift myself to my feet. The wobbles in my legs don’t disappear as I try to rise, so I fall back into a crouch. I remain there for only a moment to catch my bearings, but that is a moment too long for Tetsu.

“Stand up now or I’ll add dodging practice to the exercise.”

A glance back reveals her juggling a stone the size of her fist. She goes to throw it upon seeing me look, so I scramble to rise. Thankfully, the stone doesn’t come, but it’s still a challenge to keep standing as Grímr dashes through the trees.

“Don’t just stand there, swing your spear,” Tetsu shouts in my ear.

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I can’t keep my balance when I focus my everything on doing so, and she wants me to swing? It’s impossible.

Impossible, it may be, but Tetsu is still waiting behind me with that stone ready to throw. I grasp the spear in my other hand and try to do a basic angled slash, but as expected, what little balance I gained is lost and I fall off again.

This time Tetsu doesn’t catch me. She lets me hit the ground before scooping me up.

“If you don’t think you can do it, then you’ll never be able to do it.”

“But how can I think I can do it without actually doing it?” I shout back, frustrated at her and her methods.

“How can you improve, if you don’t believe you can improve? How can you fight, if you don’t believe you can fight? How can you continue to live, if you don’t believe you have a chance?” She sits me back on Grímr and looks me in the eye. “Sometimes, you have to ignore what you believe, and just do.”

She slows her pace until she’s right behind us again.

Just do, huh? Well, what’s the worst that can happen? I get knocked off and winded when I slam to the ground. A bit of breathlessness means nothing if I can improve myself.

So, I suppress my doubts, tying them up in a bundle of threads and shove them out of my mind. With the experience I have from the Void Fog, doing so is far easier than it otherwise might have been.

My mind is clear. No doubts. No beliefs. Nothing except the intent to rise to my feet and swing my spear as Tetsu instructed.

I stand. My feet are steady. I grasp the spear in both hands and swing. Once. Twice. Grímr jerks to the right and I try to adapt to the sudden movement. My feet slip out underneath me and I slam headfirst into the trunk Grímr was trying to dodge.

I groan as I sit up. I hear Tetsu let out a giddy chuckle as she grasps me by the shoulders and spins me to face her.

“I’ve never seen anyone learn to suppress their thoughts so quickly. Oh, you’re going to be a pleasure to train.”

I won’t say it to her face, but her grin scares me.

❖❖❖

I lay face down on Grímr’s back as we come into the clearing around the team’s cabin. I’m so exhausted I can barely look up as the line of trees clear.

I thought she was just trying to scare me into doing the exercise properly when she threatened to throw rocks at me. Nope. After I’d shown her I could restrict my thoughts, she didn’t go easy on me. Which is strange, because I thought she’d already been overworking me.

She had me trying to dodge her thrown stones while continuing my practice swings standing on Grímr. I figured I’d ignore them at first and let them pass right through me. But each time I did, she would strike me with the large steel ball of something she called a modified flail. Despite being incorporeal, the weapon still disturbed enough of my body to send me flying off the panther.

After a hundred times of slamming into the ground at intense speed, Tetsu raised the difficulty again. I hadn’t been able to stand straight on Grímr’s back for over ten seconds yet and she wanted to add more for me to do?

She made me send out a wave of flame with each strike of my spear for the next two hours until we finally made it back to the cabin. Exerting as much energy as I could with each swing.

I’m tired and starving. Expelling that much flame in such cold temperatures drained me of all the energy I have to spare. I eye one of the large trees surrounding the cabin as Grímr slows to a stop. With what little I have left, I crawl toward it and torch the thing.

As my fire chews away at the tree, I idly wonder what cobalt might taste like. I haven’t really tried to eat any metal or rock since I found out my flames are hot enough to melt iron. I wonder if I could get the team to get me some?

“Where the fuck were you?” I hear a raging voice from the cabin.

I turn to watch a khirig — the same race as Ossian — march out toward Remus. Her antler like extensions are far more slender than Ossian’s, almost hugging the soft body inside.

“What were you thinking? Not only did you stand around with your tentacles up your ass as one of Joiak’s major factories burned to the ground, but organised trafficking for everyone to see? Joiak has slashed their funding and the top brass are pissed!”

“Those were children being mistreated. Do you really think I should have stood by and watch as their lives are ruined?” Remus remains calm, but stares down this new woman.

“I don’t care if they are Actaeon damned pixies. What? You don’t have the authority to decide the laws and morals of another country. Especially not one that contributes so heavily to funding the Order.” She looks past Remus toward me. “Uh, you have a tree on fire.”

Remus’ eyes spin to me for only a moment before spinning back. “Don’t worry about that. It’s only Solvei.”

“Solvei? As in the girl who burnt down the mill and killed a bunch of the factory’s managing staff?”

“Yep.” Remus’ voice returns to its usual chipper tone. “We took her in as the new member of the team.”

The woman looks at him before sighing in exasperation. “Is she at least worth it?”

“Very much so. I don’t think it’s possible to get a better fit.”

The khirig nods and walks past him, heading toward me. With my back against the tree, I watch her curiously.

With a short bend of her leg antlers, she introduces herself. “Solvei, I am team Luis-Eight’s manager. My name is Doe.”

I just nod to her, still too exhausted to bother with talking.

“Now, Solvei, I’m not too familiar with how your people do things where you're from, but here you need to follow the laws set by each country you enter. You cannot go around burning people and their property. I need you to promise me you won’t do what you did in Joiak again.” Doe looks down on me as I sit on the ground.

Despite the tiredness permeating my body, I rise to my feet. I approach the woman, keeping my flames burning the tree behind me. When I’m a single pace from Doe, I glare up into her eyes. “I don’t care who they are; if someone wants to lock up and abuse others, they don’t deserve to live. I will never make that promise.”

I keep my eyes locked on hers as she takes a hurried step back.

Remus rushes in between us and wraps a limb around me. “Don’t worry Doe, we’ll make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.” Even as she responds to Remus, her eyes keep flicking back to me. There’s an odd, worried look to her as she backs away.

Is she… scared of me? I don’t know how to feel about that. What does she have to fear if she hasn’t treated anyone horribly? I narrow my eyes at the thought. I’ll have to keep an eye on her.

Turning away from me, she continues addressing Remus. “The brass isn’t happy with you. They’ve assigned your team to the Breach defence until they decide what to do with you. Now that the Titan’s path has finally cooled, monsters are descending the mountain at an accelerating pace. You should probably expect to be sent in deep after this mess.” With her piece said, she rushes back inside.

A chuckle behind me makes me jump. “Good one Solvei. I always love watching that bitch squirm,” Tetsu says.

“She’s a part of the team. Stop calling her that,” Remus half-heartedly chides.

“No, she isn’t.”

I zone out their bickering and return to my seat against the burning tree. I don’t think I’ve felt like this in a long time; exhausted, but not tense.

It feels nice.