The first thing “it” felt was the soft light coming from behind “it.”
Surrounded by the surreal feeling of gentleness and warmth, “it” enjoyed a brief moment of peace.
This warm, yet slightly prickly sensation could ultimately make one forget oneself.
Right, as if something was lost, but what was it?
What was the thing that has been forgotten?
Before even thinking about it, “it” started to tremble all of a sudden.
After a short moment of delay, “it” ’s mind began to comprehend the feeling of coldness.
A coldness that could penetrate the skin, just like a newborn baby feeling cold for the first time.
However, the subject in mind didn’t have the luxury to experience it in full.
With the consciousness murky and the sense of self a mess, “it” opened its eyes to a dark metal skyline crisscrossed with lights and windows facing “it.”
A blurry world ahead of “it” ’s vision.
No, perhaps it was only its vision that was blurred?
It was a twisted world seen through unfitting spectacles.
The outlines were blurry, and there are many chaotic movements and sounds around “it,” even “it” who had not felt as many emotions in all those years began to sense the unease.
After what “it” felt to be a hundred years long, “it” finally started to gain back its consciousness and form, feeling only pure confusion.
Just what the heck is going on? What happened to “it”?
“It” entered a vessel that was unable to maintain consciousness for an extended period, and still couldn’t rightly recall this information.
After that, although still confused, “it” had finally gained a general idea of the situation “it” was currently in, yet even then, it only further added to its confusion.
“It” clearly remembered that “it” was at home lying on a bed, surrounded by loved ones and feeling pain all over until the pain gradually disappears and “it’ finally felt peace.
However, after snapping back to reality, “it” found itself inside a large, metal-built utilitarian enclosure with a series of radar dishes facing “it” ’s way and blurry images of what looks like a group of people in white scientist coat holding and carrying a multitude of scientific equipment.
Now and then flashes of light can be seen from one or two of the blurry people and “it” wonders what the commotions are all about.
“It” gazed down and looks at “it “s hands and curiously found that it looks smaller, more slender compared to what “it” is used to and realized that “it “s hands are covered in tree barks with a round gem, the color of its surrounding bark, lodged into the back of each hand.
Continuing from “it “s hands unto her body, which looks like normal skin, “it realizes that “it” is naked and with surprise “it” realizes that “it” has lost an essential part of itself that used to be in between “it “s legs, the legs which are also smaller, slimmer and covered in barks compared to what “it” s used to.
Feeling a brief sadness for the loss and then swiftly disappears into indifference and lack of concern.
“It” starts to remember “it “s life before “it” came into consciousness,“it” has not been using that which has been lost for reproductive purpose for more than half of “it” s life or around 120 years more or less but “it” can concede that it made it more convenient to relieve “it” self in daily life, so it’s loss will be missed.
However, when “it “s eyes could finally begin to see clearly of its surroundings, all that was in view under the lights were the figures of scientists wearing futuristic-looking outfit and gears.
Some are taking notes into a tablet-like device, and more than a few are staring at “it” with eyes fully open and alert, watching and following every small movement “it” made, especially “it” s head and limbs.
“It” feels that the reason for the harsh bright light in front of her is due to the group of scientist gathering to know more about “it” somehow.
“It” realizes that having barks as the skin on “it” s limbs may be beyond normal, but some of the scientist’s eyes became focused on something behind “it.”
Perhaps what “it” felt of the dim light and soft warmth on “it” s back is part of the reason so many scientists are gathering and observing “it.”
Curious about the intense interest of the scientists “it” rotates “it “s body and found to its surprise and delight a mesmerizing sight that “it” can vaguely remember to have never seen in “it “s long life of 200 years.
They are there standing in front of “it,” as wide as three adult men standing tall on top of each other and as tall as a ten story building, a large and towering tree reaching to the roof of the enclosure and softly glowing with what “it” can say genuinely felt magical.
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From the way, the warm light felt pulsing into and out of the tree like inhaling carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen like a regular tree.
“It” can felt a change when the warm light went into the tree and what light came out of the tree feel richer and thicker.
The cycle continues as “it” felt the process looping and filling the chamber of the metal enclosure with the warm light feeling.
Eyes closed “it” stands there not knowing how long and “it” feels something like branches growing out of “it” s back and the leaves absorbing the warm light into its center, right inside the torso area.
It is a different feeling compared to anything “it” has ever experienced, a sense of fulfillment, of the drive, of life, strengthening of what it felt as it’s soul’s connection to its body.
Memories start resurfacing, of what he was and with it came knowledge and understanding.
“He” was a human man, who has lived his life and expected to be rewarded with everlasting peace with those that have passed on before him.
And in a way, he did experience peace looking at the tree that must have been the same tree that he instructed to be buried in when he passed away.
Significant time must have passed for the tree to be grown to such a size.
Once again looking back at his genital or the lack of it, he sighed and felt that the reason why he was gender-bent must be because the tree itself happens to be female.
Perhaps it was something like an incubation, and the body he is inhabiting is grown as a reflection of the tree itself.
As he felt the branches on his back suddenly retracting back inside without his conscious action, soon after he felt something covering his body from neck to bottom.
Turning around, he sees one of the scientists has taken off her white coat and putting it on his body to protect his modesty.
The scientist looks to be around middle aged with black hair tied in a ponytail, she looks at him nervously and can be seen trying to be friendly and non-threatening in its gesture and body language.
The rest of the scientists are behind her giving an ample space, and now that he has the time and no longer in a state of confusion he realizes that most are young looking individuals and are probably just only starting as a scientist.
That makes the woman in front of her, their instructor, or someone of a more senior position.
“Do you understand me? Can you speak English?”
He can understand her correctly, thank you very much but since he was not a talkative person even when he was still alive as a human man.
So he stared at the woman and nodded slightly.
He doesn’t know what he has become now, but surely it was not human anymore, but he can still have common decency and politeness as a former human.
Who knows maybe they can help him figure out things, but if they start cutting him up to find out more about his body, he can perhaps find out how strong his new limbs and body instead.
The woman in front of her looks glad and more confident as the ability to communicate are an excellent prospect for sentient beings to understand each other and cooperate.
Unknown to him, the lesson of the first contact war burdens her mind heavily before the confirmation of shared language he has given.
“That is good. Do you have a name young miss?”
Once again, he was reminded of the current gender of the body “he” currently has.
With both hands feeling around, looking for the genital he lacked, finding none, he sighed and decided that when in Rome do what the Romans do.
Which means that it would be for the best to accept that starting from now he has to accept the fact that he is now no longer a man, not human withstanding, and refer to itself appropriately for his sake of mind.
And he would prefer not to clarify or to explain every single time why he insists he is a man when it is evident he is not.
His name as a human man and the name as a female of indeterminable species should be different as he would like to keep his memory of when he was once human, and the new memory after his rebirth should be different lest he forgets what he once was and replaced it with new memories.
Some of those old memories are valuable and precious to him, damn it.
“Yes, my name was once Rocky... But please call me Raine instead.”
After introducing herself, she starts walking forward towards the group of the young scientist as she can see a closed door behind them, leaving behind the middle-aged woman behind her.
It’s time she finds some answers.