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WTF - What The Fish
25 - Wrapping Things Finished

25 - Wrapping Things Finished

🛸Stevey Bigpants🛸

CEO of Flying Saucer computers inc.

Stevey was screaming at his board of directors, “I can't believe you sold an ACTUAL, SPACE-FARING flying saucer with this JOKE COMPUTER installed to the SPACE-ILLUMINATI! How the hell did this happen?! This mistake is going to ruin us! I want whoever is responsible, fired IMMEDIATELY!”

Anyways.

đź”®Wandađź”®

Wanda mourned the loss of her beloved Ricky. Their brief time together filled her life with a feeling that she never knew existed. Not since the first time she watched ghostbusters as a child, had she felt such passion towards something.

She had such dreams of things she would have done together with Ricky. Dreams of creation, dreams of exploration, dreams of steamy romance. But it was not to be. He was gone. Wanda felt empty inside; she wanted to curl into a ball and cry forever.

She scolded herself, No Wanda! Ricky wouldn’t want to see you like this. He'd want you to live your best life. You need to snap out of it, right now. Perhaps it's time for a new project. Like when I discovered souls after watching ghostbusters but this time, I'll dedicate my exploration into the supernatural to the memory of Ricky. I'll travel further, dig deeper, and unlock all the secrets the world has to offer!

A knock on her door removed her from her brooding, “The shop's closed!” she shouted.

The door wasn’t repaired yet, so the man outside simply let himself in. It was old Pete, owner of the Chook’s Creek Pub, “G’DAY WANDA! IT’S BLOODY HOT TONIGHT ISN’T IT!?” he shouted, apparently finding the hot night more interesting than the events in the street earlier that day.

“Hello, Pete. What do you want? The shop is closed right now,” she said slowly and clearly so that he would understand.

Pete looked confused for a moment, clearly not hearing a word she had said, before shrugging and continuing, “THERE’S A BIT OF A SITUATION OVER AT THE PUB THAT I RECKON FALLS UNDER YOUR AREA OF EXPERTISE. COULD YA COME, GIVE IT A GANDER FOR ME!?”

“As I said, the shop is…” She stopped herself. It's not like he would have heard what she said anyway. Better to just go see what he was talking about and be done with it. She nodded at Pete, “Lead the way,”

“WHAT? JUST FOLLOW ME!” Pete turned to leave and Wanda followed.

A short jaunt later and they arrived at the pub. Something had flown through the window earlier that must have left quite a mess. But the inside of the pub was spotless. Sheryl, the barmaid, had refused to serve drinks to anyone who didn’t help clean.

Speaking of Sheryl: she, some off-duty police officers, and a few cricket players were gathered around a table looking down at something. Wanda couldn’t see it from where she stood, but whatever it was, it must have been quite the curiosity; Sheryl’s supernatural eyebrow was raised so high it was breaking the laws of physics.

Wanda followed Pete over to the table and heard one of the drunk cricket players asking, “Do ya know Allfff? He’sh... He’sh like my hero ya know. I luvvv that guy! Ya know him right?”

An annoyed voice from on top of the table replied, “No, for the 20th time, I don't know who Alf is! Would you stop asking!”

Pete called out, “I BROUGHT WANDA OVER GUYS, CLEAR A SPACE!”

The men and women shuffled out of the way. Wanda finally saw what was causing such a ruckus. Sitting on the table was a frustrated-looking, little, green person.

Is that…an Alien? Wanda broke into a vicious smile, Imagine the secrets it holds!

“You were right to come get me,” Wanda told the room. She smiled down at the little alien, eyes ablaze with curiosity, “Hello little one. I am Madame Wanda!”

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

🪄Magic fish🪄

In the beginning Goddess Fish created 21 magical fish. Now only 14 remained. Near the shattered ruins that had once been their home planet, the survivors floated together in a gloomy huddle. Their mood was dark despite their victory over the smarties.

Voices were raised so they could talk over the sound of Destiny Fish and Normal Crawfish weeping. The topic of discussion was the future of the war.

"They have no armies left, now is the time to strike! We should seek out every planet they're hidden on and shatter each one as they did ours," growled Kinetic Fish.

"There's too many, too spread out. Even with me and Gate Fish working nonstop they'll rebuild before we get them all and then it's only a matter of time before we lose another fish," Divination Fish said.

"I say we stop fighting. Let’s just leave and go to another part of the universe, so far away that they never bother us again. I'm done with Fighting and killing," sent Mental Fish to everyone’s mind.

"Na, we can’t go too far away. I've told you before, the other parts of the universe are weird… uncomfortable," Gate fish shuddered at a memory, "I'd rather tell the Smarties we’re done and offer peace before going out there."

"Cowards." DNA Jellyfish spat.

Gate fish spun on him, "Huh?!? You wanna fight!?" Tempers and spells flared to life.

"Enough!" World fish shouted, catching everyone’s attention, "I have an idea," he said in a much quieter tone. Those four words really got everyone's attention. World Fish was the fish with the best ideas after all.

Seeing all eyes on him, World Fish shared his idea, "When the goddess created us, all knew that we were special. No creature back then would even dare to imagine doing what the Smarties have done. Back then, non-fish would stay in their little holes and cower in fear. As is right; that is how it should be. All should instinctively know that fish are the greatest power in the universe and should be respected as such. But they don’t. They have forgotten. It has been a very long time since Goddess Fish was around to remind them.

Now, to help them recall, we could simply go on a rampage, crushing and destroying non-fish around the universe one after the other until it was once more ingrained within their very souls to fear us fish. It would take a long time, yes, but that method would work quite well. However, I have a more elegant solution to this problem. One that, if we combine our powers and work together, will quickly and efficiently solve all of our problems. My friends, I propose we revive Goddess Fish."

The others all reacted to that, some gasped, some frowned, and others looked at World Fish like he was crazy.

Destiny Fish shook away tears and spoke up. "Not sure what you mean dude, Goddess is already coming back. It's like, the most destined thing ever.”

“It’s not gonna be quick or efficient either,” Divination Fish said, “It won’t be for another trillion years or so. The universe needs to be thick enough with soul energy for her egg to form," She looked at the floating remains of the Smarty's fleet. "If you're suggesting we go out and massacre living creatures to release their souls and increase the soul density, I’m telling you now, there aren't even enough souls in the universe right now to make that work. Even in the weird parts of the universe that Gate Fish mentioned. We can only wait for the cycle of life and death to create enough new souls over time."

World Fish waited for silence before speaking again, “You are both right. She is coming back and normally all we would have to do is wait for her. However, I believe there is a way we can artificially raise the soul density in one area so that the Goddess's egg can form ahead of schedule. Allow me to explain: First, what we need to do is…" World Fish passionately waved his fins about as he explained the details of his plan. The magic fish listened in awe at his evil madness. The more he explained the more it sounded crazy enough to work. World fish truly had the best ideas.

“Now what do you say, comrades? Shall we do it? Shall we revive Goddess and instil the fear of fish into the universe once more!?” World Fish shouted, puffing himself up. The Magic Fish burst into cheers of agreement, even Destiny Fish and Normal Crawfish.

“Excellent,” World Fish Grinned, “Now we just needed somewhere to set it all up. Any suggestions?”

Destiny Fish leapt in shock when a tugging sensation pulled at his fin. He frowned down at a red string of destiny tied around his fin which pointed off somewhere into space. Weird, he didn’t remember tying any strings to anything. It reminded him of the trick he used to use to inform himself of when Wally was paddling out onto the lake.

Did you reincarnate bro? Destiny Fish thought, looking off in the direction the string pointed. Memories of his time on Earth with Wally filled his mind. The memories gave him a brilliant idea, “OH EARTH!” He blurted out loud. The other fish turned to look at him, “Dudes!” he shouted, “I just thought of the sweetest location for the plan! Earth’s moon!"

With animated enthusiasm, Destiny Fish described how sweet Earth was and how ideal a location its moon would be. Gate Fish opened a portal and they all swam through to have a look. The others nodded and patted Destiny Fish on the back.

“Yes, this will do nicely,” Grinned World Fish, “Shall we begin?”