Roy was distraught. The freak accident had left the Matriarch severely injured. She would survive and make a full recovery in time, of course. She was far too great an existence to be stopped by mere lightning. But the blow to her image was enormous.
Already he could feel the atmosphere change from the less faithful among them. If the Matriarch can be struck down by lightning, how could she possibly protect them? The faithless cowards were no doubt thinking.
Not Roy, he had none of those doubts. His belief in the Matriarch was unshakable. After returning Tomas they would all see how wrong they were.
Damn that Tomas, running off in the confusion. What was he thinking!? The Church needed him now more than ever. If he would just get eaten like he was supposed to, the Matriarch would be up again in no time. Lightning Shmightning.
He ordered some church members out into the desert to find Tomas. With the storm still raging, the odds of success were low.
Others he ordered to search Tomas' room together with him. Maybe there was something in there that would lead them to where he was running.
"Head priest, I think I found something." Said the acolyte on Tomas' computer. She showed him an article she had found in his search history. Roy read through the poorly written article.
"Hmmm.. Chook's Creek? It's worth a shot. I'll send a team there to stake it out. Please keep searching."
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Destiny Fish and Time Fish were once more trying their best to be sneaky in the midst of a large-scale raid on one of the scientist industry planets.Their mission was to break into several divination-proof rooms that had been identified unnoticed and find out just what the Scientists were hiding. It had not been going well so far.
“This is the place. It’s probably booby trapped like the last one. I’ll ‘hypertime’ myself, you bust down the doors, I'll grab everything and bring it back here, then you guard me till I’m back in the right moment. Sound good?” Time Fish laid out the plan.
“Damn dude, look at you with the sick planning skillz! Hehehe. Sounds sweet to me, this is probably the one we’re destined to succeed on. Ready when you are.” Destiny bent himself ready to fish slap the door.
“OK. 3, 2, 1, go!” Time Fish cast ‘Hyperspeed’ on himself, a spell that would temporarily give him more time to perform any action, at the cost of eventually having to give that time back.
Destiny Fish tail slapped the door off its hinges. This wasn’t magic, it was just something destiny was good at. Before the explosive force of Destiny’s tail slap had moved the door more than a few centimetres, Time Fish pushed his way in and began snatching up documents from the room with magic. He focussed on areas where explosives started detonating first, then moved inwards. When the explosions began getting too big, Time swum out of the room with his pile of documents and hid in the magical bubble that Destiny was creating. The spell ended and his perception of time reversed, now he was stuck in slow motion for 5 minutes real time.
The explosion broke harmlessly around Destiny Fish’s bubble. You would need much more than that to harm a Magical Fish. The explosives were to destroy the documents. Time had done well in securing as many as possible. While Destiny waited for time to speed up he read through some of the documents.
“Let’s see what we have here: the results of the next elections, lame.” Destiny tossed it aside, “An earthquake machine, pretty cool but nah, pass. Ohhhhh! Now we're talking, official Magical Fish, Danger ranking list! Let’s see, number 1: Vegetable Fish, of course. Number 2: Laser Fish, You go girl! Where the heck am I?” He read through the list until the bottom. Then tossed it aside, “Lame, next. Nanobots, plans to explode a sun, child genius, a love letter, oh what's this?”
Time fish finally returned to normal time, “What’d I miss?”
“I’m considered the weakest fish and the scientists know where Siren is. I’m so bummed out dude.”
“What do you mean they know where Siren is?”
“I thought I'd at least beat Yeti Fish. Here’s the thing about Siren. We should go, dude.” Destiny handed over the document.
“You're right, it's time to leave.” Time said, looking over the documents.
They swam up from the basement of a large robot manufacturing facility where the room was hidden. They came up to large double doors. Time peaked in. They led to a large warehouse with an open roof. The Warehouse held several of the Scientist's piloted battle suits in holding frames. Their objective was to fly out the roof of the warehouse and rendezvous with portal fish so they. It appeared deserted, but Time's powers tingled. He stopped and held up his fin.
"Hold up. We need to wait here a bit. Not yet... Ok, on my mark. 3 2 1 go!"
They rushed into the room dodging between the crates and robot parts.
Between Destiny Fish’s spell 'big moment’, a self explanatory spell which enticed the universe to predestine a big moment in the near future, and Time's spell 'perfect timing', a spell which helped its targets achieve something at just the right time, they made a great team. Their excursions almost always ended in either a well timed, great escape. Or a great fight with well time blasts of magic clutching the win.
Today, it seemed, was the day it all went wrong. Spot lamps lit up and the battle suits activated. Hidden soldiers sprung up from where they were waiting in ambush. Their powers had backfired. They had arrived just in time for a great ambush.
"We.. uhhh.. surrender?" Destiny offered.
The Scientists opened fire. Destiny and Time raised their shields as they swam for cover. The crates and robot parts in the room blocked only a few shots before being turned into swiss cheese. They were forced to keep moving every few seconds.
Destiny tail slapped an unfortunately positioned soldier into the wall "There's too many of them!"
"I thought you were immortal!"
"I told you, it doesn't work like that!”
Heavy lasers blasted them. Death loomed.
A star lit up and spread out in the sky. Moments later countless lasers rained down into the Warehouse, hitting everything in sight except Destiny and Time. It continued to fall for several seconds. The laser rain stopped as suddenly as it started. Only Molten metal, ash, and two fish remained in the warehouse.
They swam up to avoid the heat and slag. Swimming down to meet them was the angel of death herself, Laser Fish. She was a neon pink and silver lionfish. Considered by most to be the most beautiful of all magical fish.
"What are you two boys doing on my battlefield again?" She asked with a smile. She was trying to keep her gaze locked on Time but would steal occasional glances at Destiny. She hoped she was being subtle.
She wasn't.
"DNA has us out on a mission to dig about in the secret room of the guy who owns this factory.. Pretty sure you just melted him." Time explained.
"Thanks for the rescue by the way, Lashy. That was epic." Destiny added.
The corners of her mouth raised and she blushed a little before quickly schooling her expression back to neutral.
"We're on the same side so it's only natural. I'd appreciate it if you two took more care. I don't want anything bad happening to you."
This time she looked straight at Destiny.
Explosions rang out in the distance.
"Well boys, that's my cue. We both have things to do and places to be." She said before swimming off.
"Oh one more thing; Destiny, you're only allowed to call me by that name when it's just the two of us. Don't make me tell you again." She winked and swam off quickly.
After she left, Time Fish broke the silence.
"Duuude."
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"No, don't even, bro. It's not happening."
"Duuuuuuuude."
"I am forever faithful to my one and only. It's the Goddess of Creation or nothing for me."
"Lashy?!?"
" I just combined Laser and Fish into one word, man. C'mon, don't we have a mission to do?"
"Teach me, oh great master."
"You're thousands of years old. So is she, for that matter. Why you both acting like horny teens? I'm going ahead."
"Did YOU just accuse ME of being immature?!" Time Fish joked as he followed after Destiny.
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A week of hard travel through storms and nightmares finally found Tomas at his destination, Chook's Creek. It was an outback town famous for its highly competitive cricket team and mystic emporium.
He crossed a river in octopus form and shifted back somewhere discreet. He had looted some mismatched clothes during his journey and pulled them out of a bag. He wasn't going to be seen walking around in church colours.
Making his way into town he felt relief. It has been a brutal journey, but he had succeed in escaping. He had struggled and starved through difficult terrain and mysterious happenings. Across the way he spotted a pub and decided that would be a good a place as any to ask directions.
He stepped inside and looked around. It was a nice spacious place with plenty of tables filled with what appeared to be an entire cricket team, bats, balls, wickets, and all. They were talking particularly loud, Tomas thought. Pokie machines lined the walls with quite a few seated at them. The bar itself was manned by a man and a woman both dressed in the same cricket gear as the majority of the patrons.
Tomas approached the man
"Hello Sir, I was hoping I could ask you for some directions."
"What?! SAY AGAIN." the man shouted, startling Tomas. He turned his head so the other ear was now facing him.
Tomas raised his voice a little.
"I'm looking for directions."
"WHISKEY COKE? SURE THING MATE. HANG ON A TICK."
"No.. ummm."
The woman walked over and grabbed his arm that was now holding the whiskey bottle and pushed it back down. She gave him a furious look and pointed towards the back room behind the bar. The man bowed his head and walked out.
"Sorry about him darl, him and his mates thought it'd be a good idea to blast an air horn into their ears during the silence last week. Turns out that's still bad for ya even if you can't hear it. Now they're all deaf as a doorknob and a bloody headache for the rest of us. I'd get rid of him, but he owns the place. Now what was it you were after? Directions was it?"
"Yes, and thank you. I'm looking for Madame Wanda's place."
She looked him down and up, one eyebrow raised. He was quite sorry looking after the week in the desert, with his mismatched clothes.
"Old Wanda? She's just down the road. Swing a right out the front door there then right again at the post office. She's got signs up, you can't miss it... If you don't mind me asking, what do you....? Nah, forget it. Want a drink before you head over?"
"Actually yes, can I get a glass of red wine? Thank you so much."
Tomas smiled, so thankful that he didn't have to explain himself. He fished some coins out of the bag he was still carrying. He was getting nervous, the wine would help calm him.
"Sure thing, darl."
He drank in silence at one of the tables. He didn't notice one of the people on the pokie machines glancing back at him again and again. After his drink he left out the front door, and followed the directions. The man at the pokies fished out his phone and dialed a number.
He looked around until someone picked up.
"Hello Roy, it's me, he's here."
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Outside Tomas stood in front of a large purple sign for Madame Wanda's house of spiritual fortunes. The sign promised to 'read your star sign' 'find your true love' 'cleanse your aura'.
Oh... I've made a huge mistake. After weeks of excruciating hard travel he had arrived at the scammiest, fake crystal, horoscope, mystic aura junk shop ever. Something cracked inside of his mind. His fragile Innocence perhaps.
He knocked on the door anyway. "Come in" a lady's voice called from just beyond the door.
Tomas stepped into a small room covered wall to wall in mystic themed paraphernalia. Dream catchers, crystal wind chimes, garlic cloves? The smell of incense and perfume was overpowering. In the centre of the room sat a desk with two ornate sofas on either side of it. Madame Wanda sat in the one facing the door.
"Welcome to Madame Wanda's house of fortunes" she greeted with great flourish. "Please put your coat on the hanger by the door there and come take a seat."
Tomas wasn't wearing a coat.
He kinda flustered back and forth for a moment not knowing what to do. Finally deciding to just sit down.
Madame Wanda was a large, pale, lady wearing a long, lacy, black and purple robe. She had large gold hoop earrings, a gold stud in her nose, and several gold chains around her neck. Her curly, shoulder length hair was dyed pitch black and adorned with a red scarf. She wore a LOT of makeup. Her purple and gold eye shadow stood out especially. Against her pale skin. To finish the look off she was smoking tobacco from a long carved pipe.
'I got scammed so hard. I should have just ran away and lived my life peacefully.' Tomas moaned internally.
"I am Wanda. Mistress of the mystique, seer of the heavens, healer of the soul, and mother of love!" She declared "I ask this, who are you and why have you come before me?"
Tomas thought because he was genuinely impressed with how this lady was selling herself.
Tomas had thought long and hard during his journey about how he would calmly and rationally explain his situation when he got here. He threw that all out the window when he realised he had been scammed. She wanted theatrics, she'd get theatrics.
"I.. am Tomas Bernard, and I am cursed." He ran his hand over his head. "My soul has been twisted into a beast and now that beast threatens my very life. I have come here as my last hope to beseech you to cure me Madame. Please, fix my soul and free me from this curse."
"How terrible! I could tell by your aura' that you were in trouble as soon as you entered" Wanda cried "What is the nature of this curse? Can you describe how it ails you?"
"I can do better; I can show you."
Tomas raised his arm and shifted it to octopus form. He watched Wanda's face closely, hoping to capture the surprise in his memory forever.
Wanda didn't even flinch. Damn she was good. He sat there holding up his tentacle for a few moments before changing it back and putting it down awkwardly.
"Oh you have Some kind of octopus curse? Was that what you meant by 'beast in my soul'? Hang on, let me get my gear and we'll have a proper look."
Wait what? She had gear?
She put her pipe down on the table and got up. She went to the back of the room and started rummaging behind a curtain.
"Had a lad in here a while back who was cursed to turn into a tree. He never mentioned anything about a 'plant in his soul'. Might be an octopus thing."
Tomas was so embarrassed.Was she the real deal?
"I didn't say beast in my soul" he mumbled to himself
"What's that?"
"Nothing, sorry."
Wanda walked back over holding two boxes. And a jar of liquid. She placed them on the table next to her pipe.
Opening the first box she took out a pair of sunglasses.
"These are ‘soul glasses’. I invented these during my days as a researcher in the university of Melbourne. Cutting edge ecto-plasmic technology these are. As the name implies, they'll let me see your soul. Here, try them on, just don't drop them."
She handed them over and Tomas carefully put them on.
Looking at Wanda, he could see her soul shining in the centre of her body. It was blurry and difficult to make out any details.
"Of course I won't be able to get a proper look at it until I get it out of your body. That's what these are for."
The second box contained a pair of gloves and a long pair of forceps both black.
"Ecto-plasmite laced gloves will let me hold your soul safely and the forceps will allow me to remove it from your body without doing any damage."
“What are the forceps made of?” Tomas stupidly asked. He was getting quite distressed. She didn’t answer so he moved on to the next stupid question, "You can remove my soul?"
"Yes, don't worry, it's perfectly safe. I've done it a dozen times before."
"And you will cure me?"
"Well.. that depends. For now I'm just going to have a look at it. See if I can identify the problem, then put it back. We'll discuss the price then."
Tomas swore mentally. He had used literally all the money he had scrounged up on that glass of wine.
"One more question. What's the jar for?"
"Oh this?"
Wanda smiled and unscrewed the cap. Tomas could smell the strong alcohol even through all the incense and perfume.
"This is homemade moonshine."
She took a sip and shuddered.
"It'll keep my hands steady. Want some?"
"Oh no thank you. I drank already."
"Alright , more for me" she said and took a second sip.
She had Tomas bring his chair around the desk and place it facing hers. Then sit down leaning.
Wanda was all business now. "This is the only safe method of removing a soul. Your body will fall into deep unconsciousness and have a soul shaped hole in it but otherwise be fine. Your soul will slowly drift back towards that hole unless held back by something. Neither should suffer any deterioration for about 24 hours after that things get dangerous. Today, we'll only be taking a minute or two so no worries. Now this next part is important, I need your permission to perform this operation or your soul won't even let me touch it. It's a metaphysical rule. Do I have your permission?"
Tomas felt that she was entirely too casual about removing someone's soul from their body, but wanted so badly to be safe from the Church. "I give you permission."
"Let's begin then."
She put on the gloves and glasses, then carefully brought the forceps to his chest. They passed through his chest as if there was nothing there. He felt a moment of discomfort, then felt nothing at all. Everything went black.
She pulled his soul out and took hold of it with her gloves. Tomas' body slumped, eyes closed. She turned and held the soul up to the light to get a better look.
She peered hard at the soul through her glasses. It was like nothing she had ever seen before. Tomas' soul was a thing of nightmares. Vague hooved limbs, tentacles, eye stalks, and curled horns protruded from it at random. Wanda couldn't help notice something was missing. "There's no curse." She murmured. "It's just a weird-ass soul."
Ironic that she was wearing her soul glasses and didn't see another soul enter the room.
Tomas' body groaned.
Wanda was so startled she almost dropped his soul. Her eyes snapped back to where he sat.
She watched in horror as his hand reached out blindly and grabbed a hold of her pipe. He brought it to his mouth and took a draw before slowly opening his eyes. He looked at her, then took a slow look around the room. His eyes settled on the jar of moonshine. He reached over, picked it up, and gave it a sniff. Then he downed the whole jar with loud glugs. He closed his eyes and scrunched up his face as if in pain. There was undoubtedly a soul within his body now, and it wasn't his. She looked back and forth between the soul in her hand and the one in his body.
Tomas cleared his throat and spoke. A stream of the worst words Wanda had ever experienced came out.
"Good gosh, what was in that blasted jar?! Tasted like a dog vomited up some rotten milk after eating a car battery."