“Hey Destiny, Sorry to interrupt, and thank you so much for showing us your collection of unusually smooth stones, but the air is getting pretty thin in these bubbles now. Fred might be being so quiet because he’s just passed out I think.” Einstein interrupted Destiny's riveting tale of how he managed to hit the stone he was showing them with his tail and make it skip on the water 44 times.
“Hahahaha! Oh dudes! That’s hilarious. My bad, I always forget about you non-magic types being confined to one area. Let’s head back up to the beach. Dunno why, but my ‘destiny sense’ is being all chill now. Was wacky before.” Destiny wiggled his magic and had the bubbles follow him out of his place.
They breached the surface and took deep breaths of fresh air. Ricky kindly slapped Fred awake as Tugboat didn't have any arms to do so. From there Destiny floated them up above the water and took them back towards the same beach they had come from. Destiny's house was pretty far away from the beach, a few hours by fish bubble, so most of the gang slept.
“Why are we going back there? There are tons of beaches around here.” Tomas asked, unable to sleep well without his sunglasses, “Isn’t that where the dead bodies of the assassins are? Seems like a bad spot to return to.”
“Dunno buddy, just seems like the right place to go.” Destiny was being vague because even he didn't know why they were going back. He was just following instinct as usual.
It was early morning when they arrived. The morning sun lit up the once beautiful sand of the beach. It was now dug up and coated in the blood of the two warriors from the previous night. Corpses and body parts were strewn everywhere.
“Holy Science!” Einstein exclaimed in shock looking down at the carnage.
“Is that my sweet little Matriarch?! Destiny Fish, let me down!” Tugboat shouted, having spotted the fallen wolf.
“My powers said it’d be super chill to come here. What the heck powers! Stop messing with me like that!” Destiny admonished his magical senses as he let everyone down.
S.S. Happiness Tugboat rolled immediately over to check on the Matriarch with Tomas following behind it, concerned about his mother, and Ricky behind him, because he was paranoid about Tomas trying to do evil.
“My darling, my baby! Are you ok?!” Tugboat rolled rolled around in panic. It was unable to do much else.
The Matriarch wearily opened her eyes. Her head spun, she was weak and hungry. She saw 3 potential meals in front of her. The giant meatball was an obvious red herring. Although it looked like the most nutritious of the three, she regained enough sense to know that the meal that would make her feel better was her son, Tomas. Therein lied the problem. There were currently two Tomases in front of her. Her nose was too broken to smell them apart, her eyes too blurry to tell how big their ‘duck energy’ was. Neither was even wearing Tomas’ favourite sunglasses, which he seemed to love so much in the space ship. The only difference so far as she could tell was that one was naked and the other wore pants. Tomas would probably be too shy to run about naked in front of his mum so she made her decision.
She waited until they were close enough for her to give one little leap and catch him by surprise. They came closer and closer and she continued to ignore the meatball’s fussing. Finally they stepped into range. “Sorry Tomas, Mummy has to eat!” she called out. She put the last of her energy into leaping forward and biting down on Tomas with her deadly jaws.
“AHHH!” Ricky screamed as the Matriarch bit down on his leg at the calf. His bone crunched between the jaws. “Foul beast! Get off me!” He shouted and began punching her repeatedly in the face.
“No, Darling! Ricky is our friend!” Tugboat jumped up and landed on the Matriarchs back. It bounced up and down crushing the Matriarch under her weight trying to force him to let him go.
Destiny flew over and tail slapped her hard. He had felt an inexplicable destined bond between him and Ricky the first time he had ever laid eyes on him. He had even wanted to call him ‘bro’. Something he never did except for the most awesome of dudes. “Chill out dude, let him go!”
Finally she let him go as she fell back unconscious. Ricky was dragged back out of harm's way and Einstein rushed up to treat the bleeding. Ricky managed to look cool, even as he lay bleeding.
“Ok I managed to stop the bleeding, we’ll need to take him somewhere with medical equipment so I can try and fix it properly, but..” she looked into Ricky’s eyes. She could tell he could take the bad news. “I think it will likely be beyond repair. Even with Scientist Tech.”
Ricky smiled with conviction at Einstein, “It’s ok. Thank you.”
A tear rolled down Einstein's eye, “Don't worry, I can make you the best replacement leg ever.”
“I can do you one even better than that bro,” Destiny spoke up and let the word slip. “I’ll go find DNA Jellyfish and trade him a favour to get you a whole new leg. He’s a bit of a jerk but he can grow whole new legs and stuff. It’s pretty rad.”
He closed his eyes and let the universe guide him to DNA. He swam in two large circles and then stopped in front of a crushed, blue, severed, wolf head. He opened his eyes and looked down at it, “Ummmm that's not good.”
While everyone rushed off to take care of Ricky, Tomas stayed behind and stared down at The Matriarch. “You tried to eat me again, didn’t you?” he said sadly. “I’m never going to be safe.” He stared a while longer in silence until he made up his mind. He shifted to octopus form and climbed up onto her back, bit down into the back of her neck and swallowed.
Fred and Sonia watched the whole thing in horror. “That's messed up! Gross!” Fred puked.
Sonia looked from the scientist who he had recently witnessed chopping up an enemy into pieces on this very beach just yesterday, back to Tomas who now had twelve tentacles, each about 5 metres long, to the bloody sands of the beach he called home. “Gross, yes.”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
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The previous evening, Laser Fish’s diplomatic approach was working much better than DNA’s aggressive one. Wally and her were enjoying a glass of wine over a candlelit dinner.
“And so the octopus pup fell for it and bit right into the gorilla goop on her arm, he puked his guts out everywhere!” Wally was recounting the fond memory.
“Ohohoho that's hilarious! You all had space insanity, was it? Ohoho I wish I could have been there.” Laser Fish placed a fin on the back of Wally’s hand as she laughed
“You’d have fit right in, I reckon. Anyways after we got in the pods and Bob’s your uncle, here I am.”
“I see, and you say that the AI was already replacing parts with flesh of uncomfortable space monsters back then. So likely the monster that I fought was the ship, coated in monster parts. And the reason it fought so well is that it has 2000 years of experience surviving in uncomfortable space. There's some spooky things out there. Still a bit disappointed that I couldn’t damage it but at least it's all clear now.”
“I’m sure if ye had a rematch you’d flog it. You’re bloody impressive with those lasers of yours.” Wally waggled his laser lit cigar in his mouth to emphasise his point.
Laser felt insulted and complemented at the same time. The charming man infront of her had a powerful way with words. He reminded her of an old story she once heard from Destiny Fish about someone he had met during his self exile.
“Say Wally,”
“Hey, Laser,”
They both spoke at the same time, and stopped. They laughed and Wally offered, “You go first.”
“No, my thing is silly, don’t worry about it. Please, you say first.” Laser insisted
“You sure? Alright, well I’m just gonna flop it out on the table, I like you and want you to join me as a pirate.”
“You’re a pirate? That’s so cool! I didn’t know.”
“I am. That’s me crew.” Wally gestured to the army of ruffians standing guard outside of the restaurant. Laser looked over and saw them for the first time, she had been so laser focussed on Wally that she completely overlooked them. A quirk of her power.
“It’s so big!” She and Wally both burst into laughter at the accidental immature joke. “Tell me more about your Piratical goals. Sell me on it.” She teasingly challenged him.
“I’ve only just started being a pirate actually. My goals are still developing. But thus far my goals are one, get a bloody triangle hat. Need to snatch one to finish me look, and I'm having a hard time acquiring one. Two, get a fat ol’ piratey looking ship and a bunch of tiny tim ones to stuff all me crew in. I’m thinking sometin’ in wood that can fly. Old meets new style. Three, me first mate Doofus has informed me that there are in fact 4 factions, spread wide and ready, pumped up with gold and treasure. I’ll be taking it all, naturally. And fourth is more of a personal project. A captain is allowed his vices. I’m something of a fishing enthusiast you see. And I hear that there's a fish as big as a world out there somewhere. I intend to catch it.”
“Oh you like to catch fish do you?” she gave him a wink “We’ll come back to that. First, there's a big problem that we need to address before all others. If I’m not first mate, then what exactly am I? Hmmm?”
“You are far too spesh to work under me, dear. We’d be partners, split everything 50/50.”
“‘Special partners’ and treasure, you know just how to treat a lady,” Laser purred the words, “Wally, you sell a really good pitch. I would join just to see you try and catch World Fish. But I have other responsibilities, I don’t think I can...”
“Bugger ‘em. Who’s gonna force you? You’re a powerful free fish woman and can do whatever you like.”
“Ohohoho! Oh, Wally. You know what.. You’re right! I am! Tell you what, I’ll consider it.” They chatter more throughout the night until the sun rose the next morning.
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“I’m still mad at you Tomas!” S.S. Happiness Tugboat pointed at Tomas with its new hands. Tomas had attempted to mend bridges by gathering all the corpses and helping Tugboat sort through them for usable parts to help it rebuild. It now had DNA Jellyfish’s wolf form arms and legs, armour made from Fred’s coconut Mech, and a crown on projectile swords from the quintuplets. It was still mostly sphere shaped though.
Tomas had the decency to look sorry for eating his mother. His human shape had changed a lot from the consumption. His previously solid muscular body that he had awoken in back in Chook’s creek, now stretched out thin like taffy. Standing straight he was about five metres tall. He would have towered over even the matriarch in her Human form. It was mostly his long and skinny limbs that gave him his height. Despite being so thin, they were very powerful and sturdy, easily holding up his long torso and oversized head. His head had grown to about four times its original size and he had grown extra teeth, making his smile extra wide.
Not that he was smiling now. Everyone was treating him like a lunatic for what he did. Did they forget that she had literally just tried to eat him moments before? Ricky was still lying down with his mangled leg! Oh well, what's done is done, at least now he could sleep easily after all these months of running.
The others were avoiding Tomas and Tugboat, packing up Fred’s workshop and Sonia's house to take somewhere less covered in blood and gore. “I’m sorry this happened to your home beach, Sonia.” Said Einstein, holding her back open for Sonia to scoop another handful of pretty sea shells into. “It’s such a pity that people can’t find peaceful solutions to things.”
“Thank you! Me find a new beach. It’s ok.” Sonia reassured her.
Destiny Fish was uncharacteristically in a panic, swimming back and forth through the air on the beach mumbling to himself. “This can’t be right. DNA Jellyfish is a magical fish. He wouldn’t die so easily. Wahhh Divination and Teleport just asked me about any weird dudes in the neighbourhood. These dudes are here eating each other and..” He stopped and looked at Tugboat’s arms and legs. “Are those DNA’s? Nope, you know what.. I don't wanna know.” He stopped and turned to everyone and shouted out, “Dudes! Sorry, but I’m gonna head out. I’m feeling all sorts of stressed and need to take a nap. Y’all take it easy. Peace out!”
“Destiny Fish? A voice called out from behind.
Destiny closed his eyes in resignation “Oh nooooooo.” He turned around and opened his eyes to see Divination Fish and Teleport fish exiting a portal.
“What in Godess’ name happened here?” Teleport fish looked shocked.
Destiny tried on his most trustworthy smile “Heeeey dudes… Oh, this? I, uhhh… I can explain?”