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With this hand, I shall crush the Heavens
Chapter 8 - 落汤鸡, I seem to have made a mistake

Chapter 8 - 落汤鸡, I seem to have made a mistake

“So it ends.” Pàng Zi narrowed his eyes.

The large man turned his attention and was met with a cold gaze. Shénqí Lǎorén looked down on the two spectators from above. His expression no longer had any hint of playfulness. His face was apathetic, as though he were looking at two ants beneath his feet. Perhaps in a way, his snarky demeanor when facing Fǎ Shù was a show of respect. There was none of that here. The black-garbed elder slowly descended from the sky as if walking down a flight of stairs.

Everything in Sean’s being told him to get away as far away as possible from this dangerous entity. Sean put one foot backward, but found himself unable to turn around nor run. An eerie feeling shot up the youth’s spine as he was watched the old man walk down from the sky, step by step.

“Where is the Triangulum Star of Fortune?” A hoarse voice whispered into Sean’s ear. The young man blinked to see the Shénqí Lǎorén standing before of him. When had the old man gotten so close? Was he not walking down an invisible flight of stairs one second ago? Shénqí Lǎorén was dressed in a black robe decorated with golden patterns. Unlike the lively Fǎ Shù who beamed with vigor and life energy, Shénqí Lǎorén gave off the impression of a frail old man nearing his end. His face was no stranger to wrinkles, his back was arched, and in one hand he loosely held onto a cane. Around his neck a jet black snaked coiled and slithered about, hissing and spitting. Shénqí Lǎorén raised a bony finger to Sean’s chest. “If you don-.”

Before the Shénqí Lǎorén could finish his sentence, a great force came crashing down into where he had stood. Shénqí Lǎorén leapt away and let out a cackle as he turned in Pàng Zi’s direction. The old man had a slight smile on his face, but there was no laughter in his eyes. No, there was an incomprehensible rage about them. It was as though he did not want to admit he had been bitten by an ant. “So this little one has some skills.”

A bead of sweat rolled down Pàng Zi’s forward. While it was true that both Shénqí Lǎorén and Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ had used almost all of their qi and true blood dealing with Fǎ Shù, their cultivations were still leaps and bounds ahead of his. A wounded tiger would not fear a stray cat! Despite this difference in strength, Pàng Zi was still the prime disciple of the One Finger to Rue the Heavens sect! The large man readied himself and got into a battle stance. If he could buy himself one or two minutes, then perhaps…

“I will say it one last time, where is the Triangulum Star of Fortune?! Tell me and I will only tear out your four limbs!” Shouted Shénqí Lǎorén.

“Jaha, there is no need for such aggression, dear elder.” Smiled Pàng Zi, “we are simply two wandering ascetics. Don’t mind us and we will be on our way. Ahue, if you would allow just me to retrieve that corpse over there-.”

“You will buy no time!” Shénqí Lǎorén immediately lunged forward. He unsheathed a thin blade from his cane and prepared to strike.

“Do it now, elder Fǎ Shù!” Just as Shénqí Lǎorén neared him, the large man suddenly released his weapon and pointed behind the old man.

“What-!” Shénqí Lǎorén immediately stopped and turned around, however there was nothing behind him. When Shénqí Lǎorén turned back to face the large man, there was no one in front either! “That despicable vermin! How dare he make a fool of me twice!”

Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ landed beside him and yawned, “what’s the trouble? With their cultivation bases, they couldn’t have gotten far.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“You lazy fucker! If you had come with me from the start, this would have been done and over with already! Go and get them!!” Fumed the old man.

“Sure, sure. You make such a big deal out of nothing.” Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ shrugged his shoulders. The red-haired man looked down at the ground and narrowed his eyes, “that amateur didn’t even bother to cover his tracks, this’ll take no time at all.”

Shénqí Lǎorén watched the red-haired man run off into the distance before folding his arms behind his back and walking over to where Fǎ Shù’s corpse laid. “Three hundred years I waited for this moment. Old friend, you will hold me back no longer!”

下一章

Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ sighed, he honestly didn’t want to have to run after these clowns. Still, if Shénqí Lǎorén commanded so, it had to be done. Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ too wanted to Triangulum Star of Fortune. A man’s patience could only last so long. He had been stuck in the second stage of Yin Moon Refinement for two centuries. Having to hunt down a pair of mortals without using any qi only served to add salt to the wounds. He had expended too many resources dealing with Fǎ Shù and now he could only run on foot!

“There you are!” Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ smiled devilishly. The tracks ended right in front of this large bush! There was nowhere left to hide. The red-haired man pulled out a spear and carefully made way toward the bush. When he had gotten close enough, Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ immediately twisted his wrist and violently thrust the spear into the bush!

“YIP!!!!”

“Yip..? That’s a strange sound for a man to make.” Thought Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ. He tried to retract his spear, however the spear would not budge. In a fit of frustration, the red-haired the man used his free hand to part some branches, making way for a clearing.

下一章

Shénqí Lǎorén looked up from where he was standing. The old man was ecstatic, for Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ had only left about a minute or so ago, and now he was already returning! Very impressive, nodded Shénqí Lǎorén. Despite being a lazy bum, this Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ is still quite capable. Although, why was he running with such passion? And why was there a small dust cloud nearing in the horizon?

Shénqí Lǎorén’s eyes slowly widened as a thirty-foot tall silhouette coming into view. The old man nearly spat out blood! This fucker was running away from a 400,000 year-old celestial bull! No, he was leading the bull to back where Shénqí Lǎorén was! This fucker! Shénqí Lǎorén creased his brow. Crafty! These two mortals were too crafty! To think they would trick Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ to this extent! Shénqí Lǎorén narrowed his eyes. He clutched at his cane, “to think these two would come up with a scheme like this.. impressive! Very well! When I find them, I shall give them a dog’s death!”

下一章

Meanwhile, about three feet from under where the fuming Shénqí Lǎorén stood, two men sat in a cramped enclosure. Sean Wu and Pàng Zi had no idea what the fuck was going on above ground. All they heard was some screaming, some shouting, and the occasional earthquake.

“Well what do we do now?” Whispered Sean Wu. “We can’t stay like this forever.”

“Fear not, Senior Wu!” Grinned Pàng Zi, “I have a plan!”

“Does this plan also require us to sit butt-ass naked in a hole?”

Pàng Zi put on a triumphant smirk and crossed his arms. Wagging his finger, he replied, “Of course! You see, I have it all figured out. The grounds beneath us are the remnants of a prime foundation, a central hub for the leylines that flow underneath. Shénqí Lǎorén and Wǒ Bìxū Lā Shǐ have obviously used up all their internal qi dealing with Fǎ Shù, else we would’ve been dead already! Therefore, without the ability to find us using qi projection, we can use this leyline as a cover until we can think of an escape route.”

[That doesn’t explain why we had to strip down before going in here.]

“How long do you think we’ll have?” Sean Wu frowned.

“About an incense stick of time by my estimates.”

Suddenly, a light blue prompt appeared before Sean,

CRITICAL QUEST: SURVIVE

No further directions provided.

[Reward: 450 EXP]

  ….