“No. Absolutely not!”
“Pretty please~ Do you know anything else around here that could cut dragon bones, Liddie?” Autumn asked, exasperated.
From the aggrieved expression plastered across the Inferni pirate’s face, one could be forgiven for thinking that Autumn had asked after her firstborn rather than simply for her to cut some, albeit sturdy, ancient bones down to size. And this was after she’d just laughed at how Autumn had face-planted coming out of Eme’s tent. She was going out anyway, Autumn had reasoned, so why not grab some bones while she was getting some meat?
“You’ll blunt it, that’s why!”
“It’s made of mithril! You’re being overdramatic.”
“And those are Dragon bones! With a capital D!” Liddie retorted as she backed away.
Unwilling to be deterred, Autumn followed her like a bloodhound after a sandwich. “Please~ I just need a little bit!”
“For what?! I ain’t gonna go out and risk my life, and more importantly, my sword’s edge for some hobby-craft!”
Autumn scowled. “It’s not a hobby-craft! I-I wanna make an arm for Eme.”
Liddie’s paused, her shoulders slumping. “Yeah? Well shit, now I look like an arse, don’t I? Fiiiine I’ll get you some stinken’ dragon bones. How much are you going to need, anyway?”
Autumn giggled at Liddie’s pout, which earned her a sour look.
“I’ll need an arm’s worth for Eme, plus some extras to spare; in case I make a mistake. Oh, and since you’re already going,” Liddie’s nose scrunched up, “I’ll also want enough to make some new fingers for myself.”
Autumn wiggled her battered fingers at Liddie, who waved her away like she was warding off a curse.
“Double plus, I want about a couple pieces about a forearm’s length to carve some wands out of.”
A pair of orange eyes narrowed in suspicion. “And how, pray tell, are you planning to whittle said things?”
“Well~” Autumn trailed off, eyes glancing meaningfully at the white-gold blade.
“Oh no you don’t!” Liddie hugged her sheathed blade tighter, “it’s my weapon of war! Not some…some scrimshaw knife!”
Autumn rolled her eyes at the pirate’s antics, she’d be getting what she wanted in the end if Liddie knew what was good for her. Speaking of…
“I’ll also need some thinner bones and tallow to make some of those anti-hex charms. Wax would be better, but beggars can’t be choosers. How are yours, by the way? Need any more?”
Liddie huffed, still eying Autumn with annoyance, before she gestured to her waist where a pair still hung.
“I’ve not run into any more spell-casters since the gob-hags. Thanks for the charms, by the way, must’ve saved my life or at least my good looks in that fight.”
The playful smile that’d crept onto Autumn’s face vanished, a change Liddie quickly picked up on. She gave the pale witch an inquisitive look.
“You okay there? You went a little pale. It’s not your stomach, is it? If so we’ve got a bucket—”
“I ran into the hag,” Autumn interrupted, “that Finger Eater I was telling you about before, remember? I was with some other adventurers when it happened. Bardos from the Nemesis Crew was one of them. That group is all dead now, huh? Funny that. T-there was also Rarg and Valérie; two of those Lepus from that other group that I can’t remember the name of, haha.” Autumn swallowed heavily. “There was Vuriac from Eme’s party, and technically, there was also Leshana and this guard named Yuupis, but they were already…by the time I met them they were…”
Hot tears stung Autumn’s eyes.
“They all died, Liddie. She–I got them killed.”
“Hey. Hey now.” Liddie grasped Autumn by the shoulder, drawing her eyes to her. “None of that now. We focus on the here and now. Living in the past doesn’t help anybody, ok?”
Autumn wiped at her eyes, scattering her tears in nothing.
“Ok.” she breathed. “But that’s not all; she stole my Tome.”
“I take it that’s bad?”
“Extremely bad. There are some spells in there that we, as in everybody, don’t want her to have.” Autumn heaved a shuddering breath. “Thankfully, it’s locked, magically so. It’ll probably take her a while to crack it, but not forever. She is a hag, after all. We need to get it back before she finds what she’s looking for, preferably by killing her.”
“Hear, hear!” The banshee cheered.
Autumn smiled.
“And I’ll do it alone if I have to.”
Liddie gazed at the raven-haired witch for a moment, taking in the steel in her eyes as she weighed a heavy decision in her mind. Eventually, the silence was broken with a sigh.
“Alright, alright. I can hear a plea when I hear one. I don’t know whether you’re ambitious or just plain suicidal. Maybe suicidally ambitious? Either way, I’m in, but I still want a cut of the loot! I bet hags have all the nicest things! Although, thinking about it, it’ll likely be all gross and cursed, won’t it~ Aww man, can I take my answer back? No? Fine~”
Autumn heaved a sigh of relief. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Yeah, yeah. Cheeky witches nowadays. I swear!”
“Well, Yeah. I’ll need a skilled rogue in my corner when—”
A deep and unpleasant rumbling gurgle interrupted the pair. Autumn paled as she clutched at her stomach, her wide, despairing eyes shooting up to meet Liddie’s as her guts revolted against the tainted meal she had only so recently consumed. It’d been hubris for her to think there were no consequences to dining on such a foul treat.
Liddie was swift; a symptom of knowledge and experience. She seized Autumn by the shoulders and hurriedly marched her across the hall to where a not-so-porcelain throne awaited behind another ragged curtain.
“Corner! Bucket! Now!” she yelled as they raced against time.
“Wait, hold on! Take me off first! Nooooooo!” The banshee wailed, lamenting her fate.
Liddie promptly deposited Autumn onto the rather dire-looking bucket and swiftly closed the privacy curtain around the stricken witch. When she did so, all sound from within cut off, thanks to a series of runes etched into the floor by a certain Runecaster who’d spent more than their fair share of time in a deep mine with only one functioning toilet and far too many miners.
The sounds Autumn’s body made that day would haunt the young witch for the rest of her life.
When she finally emerged half an hour later, she appeared before the others pale, sweaty, and trembling. If the banshee didn’t possess the ability to see souls, Autumn might have suspected hers had fled.
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“I’ve seen too much, heard too much.”
A loud, guffawing voice broke Autumn out of her trance.
“I see ye'v met the black throne, lassie. Wis it the pirate’s cooking that did ye in or did ye stop fur a bite afore ye git ‘ere? Let me know sae I can stretch oot mah racing legs! Haha!!”
Edwyn’s loud laughter boomed out into the expansive foyer. The great bearded Manus had sat themselves down in the center of the encampment to tinker away at their rune-crafted fireplace-slash-heater. Beside them, shaking her head in fond annoyance, was Nelva.
“Hey!” Liddie called out warningly as she waved a hammer in Edwyn’s direction that she’d just been using to tenderize the dragon steaks. “How about you try cooking with nothing but tough as shit meat and salt!”
“My shit ain’t bin tough since ye started cooking!” Edwyn shook a hairy fist. “How ye kin mess up wi’ only two ingredients, I’ll ne’er know!”
Nelva smiled at Autumn, ignoring the other two’s antics. She was currently out of her armor, looking just as skinny, perhaps even more than the rest of them. One of her long ears lay bent over, dangling in front of her face because of a poorly healed cut she’d sustained in the battle above.
“Don’t mind them. It’s good to see you, Autumn.”
“It’s good to see you too. How did you guys get here anyway?” Autumn asked quizzically. “How far did you get washed away? Have you seen Nethlia? Or Pyre?”
Nelva held up a hand, stalling Autumn.
“As much as I’d like to answer all your questions, we’ll do it after you’re cleaned up. Just toss the contents of the bucket out of the window first. You’ll know the one. Do try not to get it everywhere; we just cleaned up the last ‘incident.’”
It didn’t take all that long for Autumn to clean up everything, from the bucket to herself, but by the time she was done, her clothes had dried enough that she could at least slip on some underwear behind the privacy of a pillar.
Now she found herself sitting in the warmth of the runic fireplace, dubiously eying the steaks Liddie was butchering.
“Where did you find that salt? It’s not…people salt or something right?”
Edwyn chuckled. “Nope, juist regular ol’ salt. I guess even necromancers need seasoning, unlike someone!”
“Stow it, you!” Liddie growled, punctuating her statement with a heavy thud upon the meat that sent the entire table she was working on jumping.
Nelva rolled her eyes with a smile.
While her guts were still in open rebellion, Autumn’s stomach was empty once more and she craved a decently cooked meal. So much so that she was willing to brave Liddie’s ire to get it.
“Umm, Liddie?”
“What?!” The table jumped once again.
Autumn gulped. “I could do the cooking, if you don’t want to. I’ve some experience with grilling steaks. If that’s alright that is?”
Orange eyes squinted at Autumn as an eyebrow rose. “Implying that I don’t? These steaks,” another heavy thud jumped the table, “are tough as sh–”Edwyn sniggered, “as—fuck, I don’t know what, but they’re tough. We’re chewing on dragons here, people! What do you want from me?! Damn it guys! I’m a pirate not a miracle…person. They’re the clerics or something, right?”
“Maybe it died afraid?”
All eyes turned to Autumn questioningly, she blushed and tried to hide underneath a hat that wasn’t there. Clearing her throat she explained.
“Umm, I read somewhere that fear makes the meat tough? You gotta kill it before it knows you’re there or something like that. O-or so butchers and hunters have said.”
Liddie snorted before flouncing off to sit beside the others, to which Edwyn cheered and got an elbow to the ribs. “You’re the expert. Go ahead and de-scare our dinner then.”
Quickly, before the pirate could change her mind, Autumn scurried over to the meat and worked her magic, both literally and figuratively, and soon there was a wonderful sizzle in the air as thick cuts of meat met a hot skillet. The smell of cooking meat overpowered the staleness in the air, and while it made Autumn’s guts twist at first, it smelt far better than it was outside.
Edwyn rubbed their hands together excitedly as Liddie grumbled.
Off to the side, a cute little nose poked out from her tent, sniffing the air.
“So? Who else is here, anyway? I’ve met Eme,” Autumn said, nodding over to the tent that hid the catgirl as she worked the skillet, “but Liddie mentioned some others? Some of which had died? Did you all meet up here, or in the tunnels?”
Liddie was the first to speak, trying not to look too excited by the cooking meat. She was fooling nobody.
“Me, Nelva, and Edwyn—”
“It’s Nelva, Edwyn, and I.” Nelva interjected.
“ME, NELVA, AND EDWYN,” Liddie continued with a glare, “washed up together in the tunnels miraculously. There wasn’t much in the way of game animals in the tunnels, just some foul tasting lizards here and there. Most of the mushrooms we found we didn’t like the look of, not even our tunnel-bound compatriot here knew what they were.”
Edwyn grunted as Liddie nudged them.
“Aye. Mighty streenge specimens doon here.”
Autumn nodded as she flipped a steak over, the underside was only slightly charred; just the way she liked it.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I ran into a forest of them and inhaled a bunch of spores that made me cough up blood. I’m better now, just got a rustier timber to my voice than before.”
“I was going to ask,” Nelva muttered. “After that we ran into a pair of those Umbra Elves; the assassins, I think they were. They’re scouting around for an exit right now, and will be back any second, so just leave some food for them.”
Autumn nodded, rubbing a pinch more salt into the meat.
“The others we juist sort o’ wandered intae. Found a handful o’ guardsmen ‘n’ a trio of Lepus that way.” Edwyn cast a solemn gaze towards the bundles of cloth. “Sadly, the guardsmen lost thair lives to traps ‘n’ undead. One o’ the Lepus adventurers bit it too.”
“The other two went out in search of mushrooms or roots to eat on account of the fact we can’t eat meat.” Nelva said, “We’d be worse off than you were if we tried. Mostly. I think we can have small amounts, maybe? I’ve never tried it, but it’d certainly not be enough.”
Autumn looked her over. While she was skinnier than the rest, she didn’t look at a dire stage.
Had the others given her their rations when they found this place?
She’d hoped she would have if she were in that position.
Autumn looked down sadly at the steaks that sizzled so nicely in the skillet.
“Is this about the time that I said I told you so?” the banshee whispered smugly.
Autumn ignored her.
“Ok, that doesn’t explain how you got into this place? Was it unlocked? You’d think a necromancer would lock their front door. Or did you sneak in?” Autumn asked as she dished up the first of the dragon steaks.
After a brief fight in which Edwyn emerged victorious, clutching a juicy steak in their jaws, they sent a meaningful glance to her.
“Humph. When I wis back in Grudge Mountain, I attended an auction in whilk I bought an ivory key that bore streenge runes upon it. At first thay made no sense tae me, juist gibberish, thay wur, however—oh, this is a guid steak, see this is how it’s dane you water weasel—pardon me, but it turns out ‘twas a key within a key.” Edwyn smiled, beard smattered with steak juices, “The runes matched up wit’ those in that door yonder, ‘n’ once placed within the lock properly, ‘click’ it opened richt up. I reckon I owe that auction house something mighty fine, aye?”
Autumn stared.
“Funny how these things work out, huh.” Liddie shrugged, rubbing absentmindedly at fresh chips in her already short horns. “Hey! You’re burning my steak! Hey!!”
Hurriedly, Autumn turned back to the pan and continued cooking, mindful of the stare burning into her back. Within moments, she had another steak done, which was swiftly stolen. Autumn sent a glare Liddie’s way, but the pirate ignored her in favor of her first good meal in days.
Time drudged on and Autumn soon found herself before Eme’s tent once more, a pair of steaks in one hand and all her now dry things tucked under the other.
In lieu of knocking she called out.
“Hey Eme, I’m sorry about what happened before and I brought a peace offering. Can I come in?”
The tent flaps opened slightly, revealing a bright slitted eye that dilated rapidly upon seeing the food.
“Get in!” Eme whispered as she pulled Autumn in.
Autumn quickly sat opposite Eme in a mirror of before, this time wearing underwear. The catgirl almost looked disappointed, but quickly brightened up when she eyed the steaks.
“Um, so,” Autumn said as she placed the plate down between them, “I don’t exactly have a tent. So, I was thinking, maybe you might like to share? I got you the best steak of the lot as a bribe~”
And it was. Autumn wanted it for herself, but sleeping in an insulated tent sounded nicer.
Eme eyed her, eyed the steaks, then eyed the tent. A slight blush and smile crested her face which was swiftly crushed. What couldn’t be hidden was the pleased curl of her tail.
“Deal.” Eme said imperiously, “but no handsy stuff, alright?! Keep your witchy mitts away from my ears!!”
With the most glorious of pacts sealed, Autumn handed over her prized steak to the catgirl and watched in morbid fascination as it vanished in a few bites. Quickly, she devoured her own, lest the girl opposite got any funny ideas. As Liddie had said, the steaks were rather tough and gamey.
And with that, Autumn’s long and grueling day finally drew to a close.
Laying her head down upon her pack, and under the warmth of her blanket and robes that she graciously shared with Eme, Autumn closed her eyes in search of the next day. They cracked open only once to glance down at the furry-eared head that rested itself sleepily upon her shoulder.
Autumn smiled as her dreams came to her with their own soundtrack of rumbling purrs.