“Now, let’s see if you can spot what’s wrong with this room.”

Autumn blinked in confusion and fright as Liddie put her on the spot, thrusting the witch into the necromancer’s bedroom by her shoulders.

Thankfully for her remaining sanity, the bedroom lacked the gruesome adornments of the other floors as she’d expected. Instead, it held a tidy design fit neatly into the square footprint of the room. Intricate patterns carved into the floor and inlaid with gold only barely peeked out from under a large fur rug of a many-headed beast, while a glowing chandelier cast a gloom down on them from above. A trio of towering windows only added to the pall as they let in the haunting light of the many caged will-o’-the-wisps. Two of such windows dominated the northern wall and cast their light upon a king-size canopy bed there, while the last shone in from the south beside a grand, dark wooden wardrobe.

Looking across to the wall opposite the door, Autumn took in the sight of an extremely tacky, floor-to-ceiling portrait depicting who she could only assume was the necromancer themself glaring haughtily into the room.

Turning away in disgust, Autumn swept her eyes over the rest of the room. To her right sat a small relaxation area complete with plush couches and a small coffee table, while to her left rested a vanity with an attached dusty crystal mirror.

It wasn’t obvious to her where the supposed vault lay, so Autumn hoped the usual tropes would see her through and impress the pirate.

“Umm, the room is too small?” Autumn state-asked.

Liddie just shook her head. “There’s no point in guessing. You need to look around and try to find it.”

“Is this all necessary?” Edwyn gruffed behind them. “Let’s juist get the loot ‘n’ go already.”

“Shut it you. It’s important that we teach the rookies how to do things properly.” Liddie barked at the impatient runelord behind them.

“Ye, juist want her to steal shit for ya.” Edwyn shot back. “Don’t ye lie tae me.”

Ignoring the pair’s banter, Autumn moved about the room as she checked it over for its secrets. The first thing she did was to roll back the bear—or whatever it was—skin rug and look beneath, but to her disappointment there wasn’t any hidden trapdoor, just more inlaid gold.

‘I’m disappointed to find gold literally in the floors now? What a weird world I live in~’

Autumn shook her head wryly as she let the rug fall back into place.

The next place she checked was under the bed, yet even in that classic hiding spot, there was nothing but an entire civilization of dust bunnies. She wished them well before moving on to ransack the extensive wardrobe for clues, but all she found within were musty robes and disintegrating shoes. Neither did the dusty vanity shed any light upon the secretive vault that Liddie swore was in here, even as she grinned at Autumn’s lack of results.

However, what Autumn found hiding in the dusty mirror was a scraggly witch glaring out at her with eyes shadowed by dark circles, accusing her of the mess that her hair had become. Not even magic could halt the wildness of it forever, and the heat that’d curled the ends certainly didn’t help.

Autumn wished the reflection well as well before she looked over the room once more.

“Come on, you’re doing well.” Liddie cheered from the doorway as she wrestled with a Manus. “Just need to look a little closer.”

The witch huffed at the pirate, taking her hint in stride.

Dropping to the floor, Autumn set about looking for any signs of scratches upon it from the repeated movement of furniture. However, she found nothing but the general wear and tear of living—or unliving in this case—hiding beneath the dust. Something she did curiously notice was that the floor-to-ceiling portrait didn’t in fact reach the floor, instead it had less than an inch of clearance.

“Oh? Did you find something?” Liddie asked, all too casually.

Autumn rolled her eyes, but gamely approached the portrait while the pair trailing behind her. With her face pressed up against the cold white wall, she could see that the painting wasn’t flush with it. Instead the painting had just enough space to allow it to swing open without scraping the wall.

Remembering Liddie’s earlier lesson about not touching things and the subsequent example that Roland had made, Autumn used her knife instead to search behind the painting for its hinges. When she successfully confirmed them, she slipped over to the other side and swiftly found its locked latch.

Liddie clapped cheerfully behind her. “You did it! Sniff, they grow up so fast~”

Once again, Autumn rolled her eyes at the pirate’s antics, but couldn’t deny the pleased feeling inside her that the praise brought.

“Now, while you did really well, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t give some constructive criticism.”

Edwyn snorted at that, but Liddie ignored them and continued on, counting Autumn’s mistakes on her fingers.

“Number one: You didn’t look up. Don’t feel so bad about it as most people don’t. As such, it tends to be a good hiding spot. Number two: you didn’t check the walls for secret stashes or bolt holes. Granted, any here you’d likely need to be a necromancer to even find, let alone get to. Number three: you didn’t check the windows. While I don’t blame you for not wanting anything to do with the miasma out there, just keep it in mind for the future, yeah?”

Autumn nodded.

“Moving on to number four, and this one is important: you didn’t check for traps or poison. Good job for remembering to use a knife instead of your finger, as there were some needles lining the edge of the painting. I, of course, disarmed them earlier.”

Liddie tapped her lips in thought, “there are probably a lot of other things to list, but I think that’s enough for now. I’ll make a rogue out of you yet,” she grinned at Autumn.

“Now, how about we loot the vault, huh?”

With a terrible groan, the tacky painting swung open on seized hinges to reveal a large vault door backing it. The trio of now vault raiders stepped through the yawning portal into the glittering room beyond, where chests upon chests of gold and silver spilled their contents into the pale candlelight. The vault was only a few paces across, but as Autumn looked left, she saw it ran the entire length of the bedroom wall divided off by a set of black-iron bars that came complete with a barred door brandishing a fearsome-looking lock, blocking them from the rest of the treasure. Beyond the bars lay a series of pedestals, each displaying what looked to be enchanted items atop velvet cushions.

Autumn sucked in a breath.

“Open it! Open it!” she urged the pirate.

“Alright, alright.” Liddie chuckled. “You don’t have to push me! Edwyn can you block the door with something? Maybe one of those chests? We don’t want it to close on us somehow.”

Edwyn grumbled under their breath, but still dragged one of the heavy chests into the doorway to keep it open. In the meantime, Liddie took out her lockpicks swiftly from her coat pocket and set to work. The fearsome lock didn’t stand even an ice-witch’s chance in the hells of withstanding the pirate’s expert fingers, and before the thick padlock had even clanked to the ground, they were rushing through the barred door to take in the hoard before them.

Just under two dozen plinths spanned the length of the vault, each bearing upon them a small engraved plaque, the words written in the necromancer’s tongue.

Autumn frowned as she halted before the first, its pillow empty save for a spherical divot the size of eye. Now on the other end of incessant urging, she translated the text for Liddie and Edwyn.

The Watcher’s Eye.

An onyx eye plucked from the head of a living void watcher. Once placed into an empty eyesocket, it’ll grant the wearer the ability to see through many things, including into other planes of existence.

“Huh,” Liddie made a noise of interest, “too bad it’s missing.”

“That’s strange, isn’t it?” Autumn muttered, “Aren’t we the first one’s here?”

Liddie hummed noncommittally, evidently more interested in the rest of the items still here. “Maybe somebody did. Edwyn brought a key to this place, after all. Maybe the same person took that too?”

Autumn doubted it, as she’d not found it herself on the skeleton. They could’ve dropped it while fleeing, but she suspected they’d been one of the necromancer’s assistants or maybe a captive. Would they’ve had access to this vault, and would they’ve risked stealing a prized item from the necromancer?

“Come on~” Liddie whined as she tugged on Autumn’s wrist, “I wanna know what the rest are~”

Atop the following plinth they inspected, they found an elven circlet crafted from ghostly silver and adorned with an assortment of blue teardrop gems. The small crown constantly emitted a swirling mist around it. Glancing down, Autumn once again read the plaque aloud.

Wraithlord’s Crown

The crown of the wraith king. When worn, the circlet will allow the wearer to draw spectral undead to themselves and bind them to their will. Comes at the cost of hearing constant whispers at the edge of one’s hearing.

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“So it’s cursed? Tssk, typical. Next!” Liddie said as she dragged Autumn on.

The Baron’s Top hat

Baron Samdi’s top hat. Wearing it will grant a greater influence and creation of zombies and zombie-adjacent types of undead. It is ill-advised to wear the hat for long as the baron is constantly seeking it and will feel its presence when worn. Also makes the wearer crave rum and cigars while making them more prone to swearing.

“Weird. Next!”

Spirit Caller

A deer skull helm dedicated to the Goddess Cilene. When worn it’ll allow the wearer to call any number of animal spirits to their aid. The type of spirits that are called depends on the location and what has died within it. However, as this item is dedicated to Cilene, removing it will end the wearer’s life.

“Brrr. This is why you don’t touch spooky stuff, or anything really. Next! Next!”

Autumn sighed.

Ghostwrap

A robe made from the souls of mortal archimages. Wearing this robe grants access to the deceased mage’s magical reserves along with a resistance to elemental energies and an immunity to necrotic spells. However, the souls within the robe will constantly seek to supplant the wearer's soul.

Moritia’s Embrace

A cuirass made from the ribcage of Moritia the Thrice-damned. When worn will allow the wearer to siphon the life of struck enemies to heal themselves. However, this armor also steadily siphons natural essences from the wearer to repair itself, making them grow sickly until they eventually die.

“Why is everything so cursed?!!” Liddie cried out.

Autumn shrugged. “We are in a necromancer’s tower, remember? It’s kind of expected. Oh look, these next ones aren’t cursed.” She gestured to a pair of thick leather boots armored in a burnished steel, the soles and leather permanently stained by a dark mud.

“Oh?!” Liddie perked up. “Go on! Read it out then!”

“I’m doing it! I’m doing it! Don’t shake me!”

March of the Legion

Boots of the demonkin general Damxes the Longstrider. Wearing these boots will grant the ability to travel further, faster, and with less effort. These boots won’t, however, allow one to outrun a blighted dark-haunter, as poor Damxes found out.

“I don’t think the necromancer liked this Damxes.” Autumn said wryly. “They were at war, I suppose. Have you ever heard of this general guy? Girl?”

Liddie shook her head as she stared at the boots, looking like she wanted to try them out. “Nah, never. Although, I’m not really a history-loving kinda girl.”

“Ok. Edwyn? Any idea?”

Edwyn too shook their head. “Nay, not me neither.”

“Whatever then, let’s move on. We can always circle back to these latter.” Autumn prodded Liddie towards the next plinth, where another set of boots sat. These were far more sinister-looking, however, with large metal spikes dotting them.

Corpsedancers

Made of black-iron, these boots allow the wearer to move faster for every foe slain within a 100 standard heartbeats. Care must be taken if casting an area of effect spell as the last wearer, Thuridual the Fast, died after casting a mass-cloudkill spell and then proceeded to run into a wall of air.

Liddie snorted.

Bloodfeasters

A pair of spiked gauntlets made of an unknown red metal. When attacking an unarmored foe, or simply punching through said armor, will cause severely bleeding wounds that can only be stemmed with magic. Fairly useless as most foes carry some sort of magical means of healing.

Gloves of the Hateforged

The greater devil, Mephistopheles, crafted these hell-metal gloves himself in exchange for an ancient gladiator’s soul. When worn, they grant vast power and endurance at the cost of a deep and inescapable rage. The wearer will then become an army-breaking monster until their death or removal of the gloves, whichever comes first. The gladiator of yore was said to have toppled the kingdom he swore to protect in his rage.

Liddie whistled as she eyed the thick metal gauntlets with distaste, her face darkening further at the mention of a devil. “You think Nethlia could handle them?”

“Liddie, if you ever let her wear these, I’ll break every one of your fucking fingers.” Autumn said coldly.

“Chill, chill. I wasn’t serious; I’d never let her do that.” Liddie stressed. “Every Inferni knows not to fuck around with devils or their craft. Not even necromancy, as bad as it is, is as harshly looked upon as devilcraft is. These’ll go straight to the capital to be destroyed and, barring that, the Empress’ll find a deep, dark pit for them.”

“...oh. Sorry for swearing at you.”

Liddie smiled. “It’s ok…Still have the hots for her even with that kitty-cat in your hammock, huh?” she smirked.

Autumn blushed. “What? Noooo…do you want me to read these or not?!”

A laughing Liddie pushed Autumn further into the vault.

The next plinth they came upon held an upright shield atop its velvet cushion. The blood-stained wood of a large kite shield lay covered in an old and war-frayed banner depicting a burning man upon a field of red. Battle-hymns and sacred-prayers scribed onto crimson-marred parchment cluttered the edges of the shield, secured in place there by thick wax seals.

“Hmm, Nelva needs a new shield, doesn’t she?” Liddie tapped her lip in mock thought.

“How about ye figure out what it does ‘efore ye curse yer friends with it?” Edwyn grumped at her.

“Sounds fair. Well? Away, my fair scribe, read on!”

Autumn sighed. “Fine, but please don’t call me ‘fair’. I’ve got some history with that description.”

“Ooo~ so mysterious.”

Charity

The origins of this shield and of the heraldry depicted upon are unknown, only that it came as a pair with a warhammer that’s since been lost. This kite shield boasts the significant defense that all magical enchantments possess alongside the ability to drive the wearer’s allies into a suicidal frenzy. Once activated, the wearer’s allies will charge their enemies without regard for their own life or safety.

“Huh, I guess if it’s on purpose, then it’s not a curse, right?” Autumn asked hesitantly.

She felt like she knew what this shield and a ‘warhammer’ was about, but it was like an itch at the back of her mind.

“I mean, you don’t have to use it?” Liddie offered. “Still, it’s an enchanted shield anyway, and Nelva is without one.”

Autumn reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Even if I had a wand, I don’t know if I can fix that much damage.”

“It t’was bonny fucked.” Edwyn chuckled.

On the following plinth, there was another shield, this time in a tall oval shape. An intricate silver frame bordered a shattered silver-backed mirror, reflecting their images in a kaleidoscope of jagged pieces.

Autumn looked at the plaque below while Liddie made funny faces in the mirror, much to Edwyn’s annoyance.

Reflection of Kazam

This mirror once held within it the Jinn, Kazam the Reflectant, until an ill-worded wish allowed them to break free, subsequently shattering the mirror. However, as their influence has truly soaked into the mirror’s enchantments over their long captivity, it’ll still reflect spells as it used to, only now they’ll be unstable and prone to unintended effects.

“Hmm, there’s a lot to unpack there, but I’m just gonna move on.” Autumn said to a quiet room.

“Sounds wise.” Edwyn nodded as they stroked their beard. “A jinn on the loose, aye? Presumably one from over two-thousands years ago with an intense grudge, most like. Not troubling at all, not one bit.”

Liddie shrugged. “Eh, it’s likely minding its business over the sandy graves of whatever nation pissed it off. So, it’s not our problem! Next!”

Autumn huffed. ‘This is starting to feel like window shopping in a department store that I can’t afford anything in.’

“Could thee steal everything in yond store?” The banshee asked pointedly.

‘...no.’

The next item Autumn glanced upon took her breath away. A simple, black ring inset with a small oval moonstone sat delicately upon the velvet cushion. It seemed out of place amongst the other grand artifacts, but one look at its name dispelled that notion for her.

The Ferryman’s Lantern

A simple ring gifted to a lonesome ferryman. When worn, the ring will provide a light that’ll cut through any darkness, magical or otherwise, allowing the wearer to always see where they are going.

“Bullshit.” Autumn said.

“Why do you say that? Something wrong with it?” Liddie asked as she curiously looked over the ring.

It took a lot of effort for Autumn not to pull her back from it. Instead, she took a breath and thought about how to make her understand.

“Well, that can’t be all it does, or else why would it be placed here amongst the necromancer’s prizes?” Autumn gestured around herself, “And the name, the Ferryman? That’s death.”

Liddie looked at Autumn strangely. “Cilene’s the goddess of death and endings, not this Ferryman.”

Flustered, Autumn rubbed her eyes. “The Ferryman isn’t a god or whatever, he’s just death. Thee Death. Capital D, Death. I’d know; I’ve met him. Look, it doesn’t matter. I just need that ring and we can’t let anyone know about it. I’ll eat my hat if it’s just some fancy torch.”

She’d also eat her hat if it wasn’t placed here for her to find, as unlikely as that was.

Liddie and Edwyn shared a look.

“Alright~ We’ll circle back to this one later as well.” Liddie nodded to her. “Next!”

Edwyn chuckled at the yell, getting excited themselves.

Butcher’s Cleaver

A heavily rusted blade once used by Grimga the Cannibal, although history has lost just whom he was cannibalizing. The rusted blade will cause poison in any wound struck.

“Any rusted blade would do that!!! Next!”

Oddly, the next velvet cushion was just as empty as the first.

Swashbuckler’s Boot-blade

The boot blade of Jenny the Red. While also cutting keenly as any enchanted blade would, as long as it’s in its sheath, it cannot be found by anyone beside the wearer, effectively allowing them to be always secretly armed.

Autumn looked at the empty plinth. “Are we sure it’s not still there? It would be perfect for you Liddie.”

“It sure would~,” Liddie sighed wistfully. “WELP, no use crying over spilled ale. Let’s move on, shall we? And not think too hard about it~”

The next weapon along stopped Autumn short. It was a Katana. There was no doubt in her mind about it. A familiar curved blade sat atop a bright red obi sheathed in a pure white saya. The wrapping around the hilt was too of a pure snow white while its fitting were of a deep brass. However, missing from the blade was its tsuba, its hand guard.

Autumn read over the plaque beneath excitedly.

Snow Demon’s Fang

Crafted by a legendary swordsmith out of a single metal tooth of the dragon known as the White Terror, this equally legendary blade possesses no equal in its sharpness. However, before the blade could be finished, the swordsmith annoyingly died, and the hand guard was lost. As such, this keen blade is as much a danger to its wielder as it is to their enemies, for one errant slip will see them lose a finger or two.

“Do you think Eme would be hurt if I said this is perfect for her?” Autumn tentatively asked.

“Because of her hand?” Liddie asked. “Maybe a little, but if you gave her a legendary blade, she’d get over it fast. You know, you’re stacking up to be a helluva girlfriend for that Felis.”

Autumn flushed. “We’re not—We aren’t—”

Liddie bullied on, interrupting Autumn’s flustered refusals. “When she’s at her lowest, having lost both her friend and her arm, you come bursting back into her life, looking all fearless as you do. You comfort her and promise her the world, expecting nothing in return. And then, you actually do it. Within a day, you’ve crafted her a new arm out of magic and dragon bone, of all things. And now you want to gift her a legendary sword, just cause it fits her?”

Liddie huffed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Honestly, I’m jealous.”

Autumn’s face was too hot for her to reply. She’d not thought about how it looked from Eme’s or the other’s perspective before as she’d just done what she wanted to do and what felt right in the moment.

“Eh, whatever. I’ll get over it.” Liddie chirped, “Now, come on. Let’s see what the rest of this shit is.”