“You want to do what?”

The group stared incredulously at a dusty Autumn as they lounged around the bedroom.

After recovering from the mishap with the ceiling and then subsequently being showered in powdered bone, both Autumn and Eme had hurriedly reconvened with the others in the ancient bedroom to discuss the party’s plans. And while it came as no surprise that they all unanimously voted to camp on this floor for the foreseeable future, her plans to blow the place up when they left garnered far more skepticism.

“Look, I like a good explosion like any pirate worth their salt, but isn’t that a little too…ambitious?” Liddie asked from where she sat on the bed beside a reclining Nelva, the pale Lepus propped up by threadbare pillows.

“Not to mention that we need to escape said explosion, yes?” Nelva added.

“Right, I thought about that.”

Standing up from the plush couch they’d dragged to sit beside the bed, Autumn unrolled the map of the caverns atop the covers for the others to see. Everyone craned their necks as Autumn pointed to the cavern they were in on the map. It sat dead center of the parchment.

“See this cavern here? This is where we are.” Autumn shifted her finger over to a tunnel that fed into the cavern. “And this is the tunnel I came here through, so if you follow my route all the way back.” her finger now took on a meandering, zig-zagging path through a variety of disconnected tunnels and past the crystal cavern towards a long river cutting through the map. Autumn jabbed the map. “And this is where I washed up, so if we find the head of the rivers we all came down, we’ll find where we fell and where the rest of the convoy likely is.”

“If they’re still alive.” Liddie pointed out.

Autumn reluctantly nodded. “Yes, if they’re still alive.”

Everyone traced their paths back through the twisting caverns and up the wild rivers until they all came together in a single massive cavern dominated by a great underground lake.

Autumn smiled. “There, now we know where we’re going.”

“You still haven’t explained about the explosion, or your plan to survive it.” Nelva remarked.

“Right, my plan was to have Edwyn devise a runic bomb that’ll ignite the methane gas—the miasma—when we are far enough away to survive it. Er, if that’s even possible—the bomb part, not the surviving part.”

Edwyn stroked their beard in thought. “Hmm, it should be possible. You want a timer or something similar made that’ll trigger a fire rune?”

Autumn nodded. “That’s right. I found a cracked hourglass in the study if that’ll help.”

“That’s fine and all,” Liddie interrupted, “but why exactly would we want to blow this place up? We’d lose out on a wealth of dragon materials if we did.”

“Because it’s too dangerous to leave lying around. Just think about it. What’ll happen if someone unscrupulous finds this place? What if it’s another necromancer?” Autumn met everyone’s eyes. “All those bodies out there will drown the continent in blood before anyone can stop them.”

“I’ve never claimed to be a saint. Hell, I’ve got a lot of blood on my hands and sins on my back already, but I don’t want to see that future. Do you?”

The group shared a look, but it was Eme that spoke up into the silence.

“None of us do either. We’ll help you, won’t we?” Eme squinted at the others, who gave her chuckles and nods of confirmation. “And besides, the size of the explosion is sure to put a new crater on the map. Maybe they’ll let us name it or something? I was thinking: ‘The Dusk Wolves’ Pit.’”

“The Necromancer’s Folly.” Nelva offered.

“The Witch’s Cauldron.”

“Pshaw, none of you know how to name things. How about: The Gaping Bunghole!” Liddie cackled as everyone booed.

“How about you, Edwyn?” Autumn asked as she turned to them. The Manus seemed content to just sink into the armchair they’d sequestered for themselves. They raised a bushy eyebrow at her question.

“Ehh. I ain’t really the namin’ type.” Edwyn shrugged.

“Come on~” Liddie called, “everyone else had a go!”

Edwyn grumbled, giving the pirate a magnificent stink eye. “I’d just call it somethin’ like: Evidence of Stupidity, the Last Sighting of Morons.”

“Booooo~” Liddie complained.

Autumn laughed as she sat back down beside Eme on the couch, the catgirl snuggling into her side as she did. That was another thing she had to deal with soon. Only, she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t lie to herself and say she felt nothing for the Felis girl as her abilities disallowed such, since she could literally see her own emotions. And while Autumn knew it wasn’t fair to compare her with Nethlia, she couldn’t help it. Eme provoked more of a soft yearning in her maiden heart compared to the fiery burn Nethlia did.

She just didn’t know which moved her heart more.

Shaking those thoughts free, Autumn turned back to the devolving conversation and cleared her throat to gain attention. When the bickering pair finally settled down, she addressed another immediate concern.

“Liddie, how are we doing for food?”

“Well~ We’re doing better now that there are fewer mouths to feed. What?” she asked as everyone stared at her. “You wanted to know. We’ve now got enough dragon meat to last us a few days and enough dried mushrooms and roots for Nelva to eat for a few days longer than that.”

“Right,” Autumn nodded. “It took me roughly ten days to get here, so could you gather up as much meat as you can tomorrow? We can gather mushrooms along the way, but we don’t know when we can next hunt for something we can eat. I’ll lend you my belt of holding if you do.”

Liddie grumbled. “Fineee~ But no more dragon bones!”

“We’ll still need some for mah runes if you want a bomb made.” Edwyn smirked.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Urgg.” Liddie slumped back to look up at Nelva. “No respect for fine works of weaponry, this lot.” The Lepus just shook her head with a slight smile.

“Speaking of,” Autumn interrupted the pirate’s whingeing, “we still need to discuss what everyone can use from the armory now that Edwyn has cleared it. Also, we need to figure out how we are getting the other’s bodies out of here.”

“We mightn’t have a choice, lassie.” Edwyn answered her grimly. “There are eight bodies and only four of us can even move.” Nelva grimaced apologetically at their words. “Even then, carrying bodies is hard work and that’s not even taking into account any monsters or obstacles we’ll run into along the way.”

“We’ll have to leave them unless your belt can fit them?” They asked.

Autumn shook her head. “Not whole,” she winced. “While the largest pouch has got a large enough capacity, the mouth can’t stretch that wide. I don’t know if the shields will fit either.” With a pale face, she pleaded with the others. “Please don’t make me shove people-parts into my new belt.”

People-parts? Eme mouthed, horrified

“What? No! Just what do you see us as? Barbarians?” Liddie shook her head exasperated, “no, no, we’ll figure something else out. It’s your belt already, huh?”

“What about a sled?” Eme asked, blushing when everyone turned to her. “Back home I’d always make one when it snowed. Why don’t we make one here? We could lash some bones together.”

Edwyn hummed at the idea. “I’ve a design for a levitation rune I was workin’ on. Wit’ some dragon bone, I think it might just work.”

Autumn perked up. “And I’ve got some…..er, magic I can use to help!”

Seeing where this was going, Liddie cried.

Looking aggrieved, she pointed towards Eme. “Why can’t she do it with her fancy new sword, huh?! This is blatant favoritism!”

“Sword? What sword?” Eme blinked, confused.

Autumn shook her head as she folded her arms. “No way, it’s too dangerous out there for her. She needs time to train with it first. And besides, it’s not some butcher’s cleaver.”

“And mine is!” Liddie cried.

“Hey guys? What sword?” Eme tried to get a word in edgewise.

Edwyn grunted from the side. “How about you just use the actual enchanted cleaver, you numbskulls?!”

Immediately, Liddie’s waterworks halted. “Oh yeah. We found one like that, didn’t we?”

Eme shook Autumn by the shoulders. “What swooooord?! Don’t ignore me, Autumn!”

“Ok! Ok! I’ll tell you.” Autumn laughed, putting her hands on Eme’s hips to stop her from spilling off the couch in her mad frenzy. “We found a legendary blade, a Katana, in the vault that only you can really use.”

Eme blinked, settling into Autumn’s grip. “What do you mean, only I can use it?”

“It’s missing a crossguard, so it’ll hurt a person’s hand if they aren’t careful and, well…” Autumn gestured to her prosthetic arm awkwardly before pausing. “Wait, you are right-handed, right?”

With a sad expression, Eme replied while her replaced arm encircled the witch’s neck. “Yeah, I’m right-handed, but I’m not much of a sword fighter. I’ve never even touched one before. If you think it’s a good idea…”

“I do.” Autumn smiled up at her.

“Urgh, I’m going to barf,” Liddie complained, to which Nelva slapped her on the arm admonishingly. Ignoring her, the pirate continued. “You two are nauseating. If you’re gonna kiss, do it elsewhere.”

At her words, Autumn finally noticed that Eme was sitting in her lap, and just how close their faces were. Bright red, the pair separated in a hurry. But when Autumn wasn’t looking, Eme sent a furious glare the pirate’s way for her mockery and the distance that now lay between the pair of girls.

Eager to move past the awkward situation, Autumn brought up the next point of business.

“Umm, as you might have noticed, I made a new wand.” Autumn drew the Angel-dragon wand from her sleeve with a flourish.

“That’s what that awful racket was? I thought you two were just getting it on~,” Liddie couldn’t resist teasing them some more.

While Autumn glared at Liddie, wishing she had some spell to turn her into a ferret, Edwyn spoke up. “That’s impressive. I don’t know any mage yer age that could do the same. Ye saved yerself a mighty amount of trouble, ye did. Juist gettin’ an audience with the wandmakers is a ball-ache ‘n’ a half, or so I’ve heard. Not tae mention the cost of commissioning one. Can ye make any more?”

Autumn blushed at the praise but shook her head sadly. “Sorry, no. There were only enough components for one and the wandmaker’s table broke besides. I still have the guide to wandmaking if you want it.”

“Ye keep it, lassie. The mages’ll pay a mountain of gold for it.”

Autumn smiled before glaring once more at Liddie. “Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to say now that I have a wand again, I can use all my spells.”

Liddie stilled. “Wait, does that mean…”

“Yup, Autumn’s laundry service is operational again. Now Liddie, stay still while I test to see if the spell behaves the same when cast by a stronger wand.”

“Wait a moment! I think Edwyn should have the honors as the eldest of the group!” Liddie paled as a vindictive witch pointed a black-and-white wand at her. She tried to flee, but like a quick-draw cowboy of the west, Autumn shot her down.

Putrid grime peeled away from the back of the pirate’s coat to collect in the air as a disgusting ball of swirling foulness. Further filth broke free from a gagging Liddie in a stream until she stood completely clean before them. Cleaner than since they’d entered this hellscape of an underworld.

Before the putrid orb could taint the bedroom, Autumn flicked it out a window.

“I’m clean!!!” Liddie laughed.

With a few more flourishing flicks of her wand, the rest of the foulness-marred party were no longer so. Now their clothes were clean, soft, and faintly smelling of lavender. Autumn didn’t know she could do that last part.

She might have gone overboard in her spring cleaning however, as the room now sparkled. Her cleaning came at the cost of several pillows that’d been more dirt than fabric by this point, but she felt that was a price worth paying to not be breathing in dust all the time. However, that wasn’t the end of Autumn’s tyrannical reign of cleanliness and order, as she soon took to their tattered apparel with her repair charm.

Cognizant of her earlier gaff, she resisted shouting ‘Reparo’ with every cast. She didn’t want to add more to her shameful history.

Autumn frowned as she felt her witch robes. Although she had patched up the immense hole created by the crystal spike, there was now some thinness in that area. She wondered if their long lifespan was finally ending.

Nelva’s armor was fucked, to put it mildly.

And even if she patched it using other bones, the process would be too time-consuming and result in an unreliable construction. That wasn’t even mentioning Nelva’s distaste for the idea of using people’s bones in her armor.

“Alright,” Autumn yawned, feeling tired but now fresh and tidy. “Before we rest, I suggest we take care of the bodies. With my wand, I can now prevent their decay, and we can carry them down to the ground floor before we retrieve everything we left behind.”

“Who made you leader?” Liddie grumped as she pulled herself to her feet.

Autumn raised an eyebrow. “What does it matter? We were going to do it anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Liddie waved her off as she left the room. “Nelva you stay here and keep the bed warm.”

Nelva cheerily waved them goodbye.

Over the course of the next two hours, the four weary adventurers carted the wrapped bodies of their former compatriots down the many floors to place them beside the other fallen. There, Autumn gently placed a pair of gold coins upon each of their eyes and recited the quiet, prayer-like spell. In lieu of a god or goddess that Autumn didn’t know, she prayed to the old Ferryman to escort them on. To the fallen, they gave a few parting words before they collected up their camp and marched back up the long stairs.

Upon returning and being cleansed once more, Liddie collapsed face-first onto the bed she was sharing with Nelva while Edwyn just curled up on their armchair and immediately started snoring.

Autumn shook her head wryly at her team’s antics as she piled her blankets onto the couch. Sensing the witch’s intent to sleep alone, Eme stared despondently at her back. Her ears and tail drooped sadly as her wide eyes grew wet. Seeing this, Autumn could only sigh and open up her blankets for the catgirl to swiftly rush under. Eme purred softly in content as she wrapped Autumn in a hug and dug her nose into the witch’s neck, breathing in her clean scent as they rested on the comfy bedding.

If the two kissed once or twice in the gloomy twilight, nobody but them or the ghosts could say.