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Witch of Andania
Side Chapter 4: The Pudding’s Temptation

Side Chapter 4: The Pudding’s Temptation

A battle between witches may rend flesh and disintegrate bone but is only decided by the total and utter annihilation of an opponent’s gem.

- Andanian Chronicles

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“Stay alert, stay alive.” Apprentice Eyrin sweated nervously as her gaze was fixated on the lone six-year-old perched at the epicenter of the large circular hall. A casual glance at the scene would have revealed nothing unusual. The child was deeply engaged in a game of make believe while cuddling a fluffy stuffed teddy bear in her arms. The scale model of a massive castle was the dominating centerpiece on the long table before her. And countless rows of little toy soldiers were arrayed in alternating offensive and defensive formations, within and without the fortifications. At the side, was a navy of delicately crafted ships, their cannons primed for breaching the defensive walls. And the child hummed a meaningless tune as she prodded at the arrangement, seemingly at random.

Any closer observation however would have quickly identified several baffling inconsistencies. First, the intricately decorated castle, accurate to the last murder hole, was simply too extravagant to have been conceived as a plaything for even the wealthiest noble. Second, the unnaturally lifelike expressions on each individual soldier arrayed amidst the surprisingly realistic landscape. Third, the brightly glowing crystal of Alexandrite hovering over the battlefield and the occasional sparks that burst forth to slam against the magical barrier around her. Fourth, the outer ring of twelve senior apprentices and an inner triangle of the kingdom’s most powerful sorcerers, all fighting to sustain the defensive barricade.

“For the last time Princess Laura, it won’t work. Your mother designed this barrier personally, so be a good little girl and stay right where you are until she returns from her assignment!” High Sorcerer Traros Millstone counselled as his wings flapped nervously behind his back.

“But I’m so bored Uncle Trari! Surely Mother wouldn’t mind if I stepped out for just a wee moment?” Laura flashed her most innocently angelic smile, “Aren’t you bored too? So how about entertaining me with a harmless match of Castle instead? I’ll personally satisfy that most secret feathered fetish of yours if you manage to defeat me!”

“Don’t do it Traros, we have an agreement!” Hissed his pale skinned, dark haired colleague from across the barrier.

“Don’t be such a meanie,” Laura giggled as she undid the buttons on her dress and stretched out lithely to fully expose her jugular. Then she drew a single sharpened fingernail languidly across her flawless skin to flood the chamber with an unmistakable coppery fragrance. And she raised her bloodied finger and beckoned enticingly at the pale skinned sorcerer as her white silken chemise was slowly dampened with a bright shade of red. “It’s all going to waste Uncle Alfred!” She sighed theatrically, “My pure, young, virgin blood. The blood that no vampire alive has ever managed to taste! Nothing like that inferior crap you extract from those mortals, or that synthetic shit Mother pays you with. Step right in, beat me, and I’ll let you drain me till the last drop.” The child cowered down and allowed an expression of wide-eyed trepidation to creep onto her face, “I can already imagine it. Your deadly silver fangs shearing deep into my tender unresisting flesh, the weakening flutter of my heart against your broad chilly chest, and the final spark of my flickering life snuffed from my helpless body as you crush me with a frozen unyielding embrace…” Laura shuddered as she licked her bloodied finger delicately, “You could be done, long before Mother returned, and actually live to tell the tale!”

“Wipe that drool off your face, Alfred.” Rasped the lich beside him, “You are starting to make me nervous!”

“Hey Uncle Ainz! How have you been lately? Old bones still holding up alright?” Laura mused with overexaggerated thoughtfulness before the clearly decaying undead, “It’s such a damn shame that your soul anchor has crumbled. Even with Mother’s inhibiting magic, I guess you have two or maybe three years remaining, assuming your luck continues to hold up?” Laura let out an exaggerated gasp as she tossed her Alexandrite gem across the barrier, just beyond his reach. “Oh no! Dear me! What a horrid pickle this is!” She gasped, “My precious soul just fell out! And if that terrible undead takes a single step forward, he’ll acquire enough power to live on for at least an entire millennium!”

“You know very well that we cannot vacate our positions.” The lich rasped irritably, “But if you’ll swear a blood oath, I’ll play you for your soul!”

“Ainz, stop that immediately!” The two other sorcerers yelled as the barrier wavered unsteadily.

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you Uncle Ainz!” Laura giggled, “But challenging a ten thousand-year-old lich to a game of Castle is hardly my idea of a fair fight. So, let’s just race instead.” The witch backed temptingly to the most distant edge of the barrier, “Com’on Uncle Ainz! You can do it, just one tiny little step for another millennium of life!” The princess smirked slyly as the distracted sorcerers failed to notice the approaching flicker of a carefully masked power.

Apprentice Eyrin raised her Talent shield an instant before Lily unleashed the full extent of her power. Distracted by Laura’s provocations, the other apprentices failed to react in time as the massive concussive blast surged through their overloaded magical channels. Her vision swam as she staggered painfully to her feet and she fled immediately for the nearest exit.

“Stop.”

Her blood chilled against the warmth of a small dainty hand resting against her back. “Honored princess Lily… To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Eyrin forced a nervous smile onto her face as she turned and bowed before the princess.

“You will not attempt to contact Mother.” Lily tore the enchanted cross from the apprentice’s hidden hand and crushed it effortlessly.

The apprentice mustered up her courage, “As you wish, princess. Can I tempt you with a game of Castle, or would you prefer some dessert instead? I hear that the head chef conjured a new pudding recipe just yesterday…”

Lily stared condescendingly at the trembling apprentice, “I won’t be deterred by childish temptations. I have arrived to conduct a peaceful, mature conversation with my uncouth sister. Return immediately to your post and you will remain unharmed.”

“Yes, honored princess.” Eyrin lowered her gaze before retreating immediately to her alcove.

“Hi Lily! Miss me already? Come over here and let me baby you! I know that you just can’t wait to cuddle with my teddy!” Laura teased playfully.

Lily circled her imprisoned sister like a predator stalking its prey and smiled coolly as she retrieved the shard of Alexandrite that Laura had tossed from the barrier. “Dearest sister, have you finally realized why Mother decided to imprison you within this barrier?” She questioned as she twirled the delicate gem between her fingers.

“Because I’m clearly the greater threat?” Laura retorted defiantly, “I mean, what would a goody little two-shoes like you even do?”

Lily sighed, “It is because, I’m clearly the more mature one, and…” she tugged at the necklace around her neck to reveal an Alexandrite gem that was ten times larger than Laura’s, “… because this puny barrier wouldn’t stand a chance against my power.”

“Humph,” Laura folded her arms across her chest, “if size was the only thing that mattered, we would all be sporting gems as large as the moon! If you’re so confident, why don’t you switch places with me right now? No, Mother was just scared, she was scared that I would beat you senseless in a fair fight!”

“Brave words, sister dear. Considering that I hold your soul between my fingers.” The faintest hint of bloodlust crept into Lily’s voice.

“Hah,” Laura retorted, “why should I fear a coward who issues idle threats while hiding behind a barrier? If Krall hadn’t swallowed all your guts, you would step in here and fight me, fair and square!”

“Just in case your memory has already failed you, dearest sister. I’ve won six of our most recent bouts, while you have barely avoided a most miserable defeat in the remaining four.” Lily stated arrogantly.

“Humph,” A faint pink crept up Laura’s cheeks as she stuttered with a modicum of embarrassment, “that’s… that’s clearly not true. Mother’s biased! She always interferes whenever I’m just about to turn the tables!”

Lily raised a hand to hide the sly smile forming on her lips, “Surely you jest, sister dear. Remember last month when you almost drowned while trying to evade me? Counterattacking while suffering from a cracked skull and paralyzed from the waist down? Pray tell, how would you have managed it?”

“Ha!” Laura countered pridefully, “That was all part of my plan! You couldn’t have escaped from the well after I shattered both your arms, and I knew exactly where you were! And I was just about to launch this most amazing magic when Mother rescued you. So, you definitely didn’t win!”

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Lily shook her head as she fought to hide the flicker of doubt that had appeared on her features, “With just this puny little gem of yours? And how would you have penetrated my defenses? I had a tri-layered shield covering the well’s entrance at all times!”

“Now, now, little sister. Surely, you don’t expect me to reveal all my secrets.” Laura giggled.

“I could make you.” Lily’s eyes narrowed dangerously as she waved Laura’s gem at her.

“Ooo… so scary…” Laura teased, “My super peaceful and mature littlest sister is toying with my soul.”

“You!” Lily’s Talent spiked momentarily as she lost her temper. The princess trembled as she laced her fingers together in a meditative pose and fought to rein in her immense power.

“Weakling.” Laura taunted, “How embarrassing, little sister. Do you still wet your bed too? What’s the point of such a large gem when you can’t even control it?”

“Honored princess Lily.” Sorcerer Traros counseled, “Please avoid falling for your sister’s childish provocations. We will be sure to report her misbehavior to the Queen when she returns.”

Lily took a deep calming breath before beaming at the elderly sorcerer beside her, “Of course, Uncle Trari. I’m all grown up now, and not like that stupid immature monkey right there!” The princess resumed her predatory pacing around the magical barrier, “As the acting regent of Andania, I have arrived for an official investigation! Dearest sister, I wonder if you have anything to do with the head chef’s recent bout of amnesia?”

Laura giggled mischievously, “Wasn’t he always rather absent minded? Oh, did he mix cockroaches into your favorite pudding again?”

“I knew that it was you! You admit it. Punishment! You need punishment!” The air trembled as Lily shrieked in fury.

“I admit nothing, littlest sister.” Laura smirked, “And you have no proof!”

“Then I’ll simply have to interrogate you until I squeeze an official confession from your lips, and I’ll flush out all your co-conspirators this time.” Lily smiled wickedly as she cupped Laura’s gem between the palms of her hands.

“Don’t do it, wait for the Queen’s return.” Sorcerer Ainz rasped, and the other two Sorcerer’s nodded in silent agreement.

“No!” Lily shouted angrily, “Mother is far to merciful, and she’ll receive a light lashing at best! Do you know the penalty for attempting to poison a member of the loyal family? High treason is punishable by summary execution!”

“Surely you don’t mean to execute your sister over a childish prank?” Sorcerer Alfred spluttered in disbelief.

“It wasn’t just some harmless prank. She locked down the chef’s memories with a new magic that I couldn’t counteract. Without any pudding? For three entire days before Mother returns? That’s pure murder!” Lily screamed in frustration.

“So, you finally admit that my abilities are superior. Maybe you should focus more on your studies then, instead of stuffing your bloated belly with pudding all the time.” Laura snickered provocatively.

“Calm down, Princess. We’ll scour the kingdom for a replacement chef, immediately.” Sorcerer Traros pacified.

“No!” Lily stomped her foot in anger, “Why should I compromise on my pudding? I’ll just wring out that counter-spell from her mind and make her wish she had died in the process!” Lily glowered furiously as she channeled her magic into Laura’s gem, “Now! Answer me or suffer till Mother returns!”

Laura staggered backwards to lean against the table behind her as a thin trickle of blood oozed from between her lips. But she retained all her defiance, “Ha, this is nothing. Do your worst!” she croaked.

“Arrgh! You asked for it, you idiot!” Lily raged as she poured all her strength into the shaking gem.

Laura activated a set of talismans that she had prepared for just this moment. A humming defensive barrier expanded swiftly to envelope her body even as she assumed a cross-legged meditative posture to counteract the effects of her sister’s assault. Laura winked, “Aww it isn’t working,” her voice cracked midsentence as she swayed under the immense strain of the magical siege.

“Let’s see how long you’ll manage to hold out then.” Lily retorted confidently as she redoubled her attack. The twin sisters glared determinedly at their mirror opposite as each refused to concede defeat.

One day later.

Lily’s stomach growled loudly as her sweat soaked dress clung tightly against her slender frame, “Why don’t you just give up already…” She growled.

“Ha, still two more days before Mother returns.” Laura panted as she coughed out a mouthful of blood and spittle, “And I had a triple portion of lunch yesterday! I’ll make it till the end! It’s my victory, you’ll run out of stamina well before tomorrow!”

“Shut up, you unrepentant criminal! I can still destroy you at any time!” Lily snarled. Her hands trembled as she forced an even larger flow of disruptive magic into her sister’s gem, and a loud cracking echoed through the hall as a faint fissure ruptured through its once smooth surface.

Laura lurched unsteadily as her magic was destabilized and a large painful gash tore through her thigh.

“Stop that immediately!” The sorcerers roared in unison, “No permanent damage, you promised!”

“It won’t be permanent if she surrenders!” Lily raged, “Let’s see if I’ll run out of stamina before you run out of blood!”

“That was a big mistake, little sister” Laura smirked as mana began seeping from her damaged gem. And she stretched out her toe and traced a spell through the blood that had pooled from her wound. Driven by her magic, the mana coalesced into a pair of jagged needles that darted into Lily’s exposed gem before the surprised girl could defend herself.

“Shit!” Lily moaned as she coughed out a mouthful of blood before pitching face first into the magical barrier before her. The witch screamed in pain as its powerful magic burned through her skin and she clutched at her soot blackened face, even as she lurched desperately away.

“Score!” Laura giggled, “Take that you…”

“You disfigured my face again! Just die already, you unrepentant idiot!” Lily screamed as she brought up her foot to crush the fallen Alexandrite crystal.

“No!”

“Stop!” Yelled the three sorcerers as they absconded from their posts to save Laura’s gem.

Laura’s eyes filled with opportunistic glee as the barrier flickered out of existence, “FIRE!” She screamed. A deafening explosion shook the room as all the countless miniature cannons, mounted on both the model castle’s walls and on all the ships, unleashed a simultaneously devastating volley. Each of the tiny enchanted cannonballs, the size of buckshot, impacted with an explosive force that rivaled that of its full-sized counterpart. Caught directly in the volley, both Lily and the trio of sorcerers were blasted from the hall and through the castle’s shattered fortifications. “Super strike! Four in one!” Laura giggled as she turned to eye the sole conscious member remaining in the hall, “You better not sell out to Mother.” She warned.

“My lips are sealed, honored princess.” Eyrin squeaked in terror.

“Good, then I won’t have to seal them away for you.” Laura smiled angelically before turning back to her forces, “Hey reload already!” She yelled to hurry the toy soldiers scurrying about like ants on the battlefield, even as she darted forward and retrieved her fallen gem.

The very atmosphere trembled with rage and power as a soot blackened child barged back into the hall to confront her sister, “You ruined my favorite dress! Laura! You will pay for this!” Lily shrieked as she brandished a glowing talisman in each hand.

“Fire!” Laura commanded. A fresh hail of enchanted buckshot sped with blinding speed towards her opponent, but the enchanted projectiles clattered harmlessly against her sister’s reinforced defenses. “Well it was worth a try.” Laura muttered to herself as she ducked behind the safety of her toy castle, “Fortify!” She summoned a dense magical barrier that reinforced the castle’s walls and obscured her precise location.

“Burn in hell!” Lily screamed as she launched a concentrated spear of flame towards her sister. The magic seared effortlessly through the paltry defense Laura had conjured, incinerated the entire model castle, blew through the solid stone walls behind, and into a nearby fortified tower. The massive impact shook the entire island to its foundations, pieces of the shattered tower were tossed about like confetti, then a powerful concussive heatwave blasted back into the hall. “Shit. No, holy Krall shit.” Lily gasped dumbly at the unfolding devastation.

“Haha, you did it Lily! I’m sure that everyone will be impressed by your peaceful and mature actions!” Laura giggled mischievously as she rose up from behind the other end of the table. At the final moment, she had flung herself to the side to avoid her sister’s powerful assault and was completely unharmed. Laura gasped with mock shock as she admired her sister’s handiwork, “Wow, I sure hope that there weren’t too many people in that tower.” She giggled, “I could never hurt a fly, you said…” Laura teased as she imitated her sister’s voice. “I can’t wait to show Mother what happened!”

“It’s all your fault…” Lily mumbled, “You tricked me! How could I have known that your defensive magic would crumble that easily? You… you…” Lily sobbed regretfully.

“Okay! Fight’s over. Let’s just consider it a draw this time alright?” Laura vaulted effortlessly over the table and wrapped her sister in a comforting embrace, “I just wanted to break out from Mother’s barrier anyway. If we work together, I’m sure that we can salvage the situation somehow…”

“Never!” Lily screamed in fury. “This is all your fault!” She headbutted her unprepared sister and slugged her in the chest with her fist. The talisman she had wrapped around her knuckle activated upon impact, and a massive bolt of lightning arched through Laura’s undefended body. Laura’s muscles spammed involuntarily as she gasped in pain and smacked face first into the dirt. “Surrender now and I’ll spare you till Mother returns.” Lily demanded imperiously.

“Ascendare!” Laura croaked as she fought off her sister’s paralyzing magic and forced herself back onto her knees. Just as her sister telegraphed yet another blow towards her, Laura activated the charm which she had secretly attached onto Lily back while embracing her. The incredibly potent flying magic rocketed Lily straight through the castle’s many floors as the spell propelled her high into the distant skies. “Oops,” Laura giggled as pieces of bloodstained rubble rained from the ruined ceiling, “I might have overdid that a little. I wonder if she’ll actually make it to the moon this time?" The princess strode hurriedly to one of the unconscious apprentices at the edge of the hall, “Hey, wake up!” She demanded as she tagged his chest with a healing talisman.

“Honored princess… Laura? What…” The dazed man mumbled as she tugged him to his feet.

“Plan B, we are switching to plan B. Get it? You must inform the others. And raise your talent shield before she knocks you out again!” Laura hissed as she shoved the staggering apprentice out into one of the still intact corridors.

“Honored princess, what should I do…” Eyrin cowered fearfully as the bellow of evacuation bells began echoing throughout the island.

“Contact Mother,” Laura retrieved a communication pendant from her dress and tossed it at her, “then evacuate to the shelters or something. It should take her several hours to return, so I’ll deal with my sister till then, somehow.”

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