To raise new questions, understand new possibilities, to examine old problems fearlessly from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advances in magic that only a true witch can achieve.
- Andanian Chronicles
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“Captain on deck!” Lieutenant Marcel saluted smartly along with the duty crew as the senior officer emerged from his quarters.
“At ease,” Captain Grimm returned their salutes and nodded at his experienced crewmembers as they returned to their duties, “Quartermaster, how long before the witches arrive? Let’s go over the itinerary again.”
“Yes sir. The witches are expected in an hour, we will then take on their cargo and depart for the neighboring island of Katar. We will then lay anchor, at least three kilometers from the island and not approach under any circumstances until the prearranged signal is given exactly twice.” The experienced officer hesitated momentarily, “Sir, do you still think that we have made the correct decision to accept this mission? According to my sources, none of the locals would even consider taking on the witches at any price. In addition, Katar is rumored to be overrun with an unidentified magical plague of unknown origin…”
Grimm shrugged, “Both witches are merely pre-adolescent children and all our men are armed to the teeth, how bad could it get? More importantly, the King himself promised to pay a bounty worth seven times the value of our entire ship for just one short trip to Katar. And I’m sure that the plague isn’t seaborne yet since none of the inhabitants residing on the other islands are affected, all in all, the risks are minimal. We would have to sail for over a decade to hope to make that much profit…”
“MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” A pair of girlish voices screamed in unison as they plunged from the cloudless skies above the ship. Grimm and the crew stared with disbelief as the tiny blot of black grew swiftly larger above them and the captain gulped as he realized that he was in their direct path. Fortunately, his many years of experience finally kicked in and the man leapt desperately sideways as the pair of seven-year-old girls smashed straight through the upper quarterdeck of his ship and into the cargo hold beneath them. The crew paled as they stared cautiously into the gaping hole in their vessel, but none of the sailors had the inclination to investigate the fate of the children who had obviously suffered from a most catastrophic magical disaster.
“Maybe we should wait for the King to arrive…” Lieutenant Marcel suggested reluctantly as he pulled his shaken superior to his feet. But just as Grimm shook his head and opened his mouth to order his crew to assess the damage, his eyes widened with disbelief as the argumentative voices of the pair of children echoed from beneath them.
“Aim for the nearest ship’s captain you said? I warned you that it wasn’t a good idea!” Laura shouted irritably.
“It was all because of that lousy stop talisman you made, ‘ground level’ isn’t ship level! You should have made a spell that stopped us several meters higher. Now Father will bill us for the entire stupid broken boat! I’m so tired of filling crystals in that dark boring room under the palace.” Lily muttered unhappily.
“Maybe we should just destroy all the evidence… I know! We can blame it all on Krall! He did this! And I have just the spell to produce all the victims we need.” Laura suggested conspiratorially.
“No you idiot! How dare you push the responsibility on poor innocent Krall, you are too evil. He would never do something terrible like that!” Lily pouted.
“Well how about you distract Father again while I stick my handy mind bendy talisman on him? I could make him think that all ships have holes or something…” Laura suggested hopefully.
“You would also have to stick those talismans on all the sailors above us and on all of Father’s guards. Did you bring enough paper?” Lily brightened as she searched her pockets.
“One, two, three, four… arrgh… I should have written more of these charms. Maybe we can turn some of this wood around us into paper or something, give me a sec, I remember a transmutation inscription that we can easily modify to smash these beams into…”
“Ahem, ladies?” Captain Grimm cleared his throat nervously as he swung open the door to the hold and stepped in cautiously with the most loyal members of his crew.
The girls stared about them in bafflement, “Ladies? What is this about ladies?” Laura stepped up to shield her sister, “Go away, we are not interested in you. Not yet and definitely not in the way you are interested in us anyway.”
“Elder sister, they look like the pirates from the picture books we read together. Pointy metal sticks on their left, metal cylinders on each hip, and each dressed in a different costume! We should add them to Father’s collection of palace minions, life has gotten so very dull lately…” Lily requested hopefully as she peeked out from behind her sister.
“Brilliant idea!” Laura nodded thoughtfully, “I just reverse engineered this dimensional shrinkage magic yesterday. We could try sticking them, pirate ship and all, into a pretty glass bottle. The cost of feeding them all would certainly be minimized and Father will definitely be pleased with our handiwork. All we need now is the perfect glass bottle!” Laura declared as she gazed searchingly around the hold.
The nervous captain cleared his throat for the second time, “I suppose I should ask, just to be sure. Who are you?”
Laura frowned as she turned to her sister, “Foreign mundane pirates aren’t very intelligent, are they? Shouldn’t they at least recognize the people that are about to acquire them?”
Lily smiled as she stepped out from behind her sister’s shadow, “Sorry about that dear Sirs. My sister is an unforgivable tsundere, we are the Witches of Andania. I apologize for the fact that we may not spare much time in conversation with you, our Father is arriving shortly, and we have a pressing problem to resolve.”
Captain Grimm shivered instinctively, the witch’s uncannily delivered greeting seemed even more threatening than the ominous verbal threats her twin had dished out, “We are not pirates, Honored Princesses. This is the Albatross and we were commanded by the King to escort you to Katar for a secret mission…” His voice trailed off uncertainly as he eyed the abject disappointment etched on Lily’s features.
“Elder sister. These mundanes are the ones that mustn’t be hurt, don’t you remember Father’s lecture from yesterday?” Lily frowned as she glanced with growing worry at her twin. “You must be seriously ill, if your memory has deteriorated to such an extent! We must examine your brains for disease immediately, dearest sister.” Lily nodded to herself as she began leafing slowly through the stack of charms in her hand.
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An infinitesimal flicker of fear flashed across Laura’s features, but it was swiftly suppressed with a cheerful smile. “Don’t be a super idiot little sister, witches don’t ever suffer from mundane diseases. Don’t you even remember that handwritten memo at the beginning of the medical encyclopedia you were reading? Maybe you’re the one that needs immediate medical attention for brain rot!”
“Of course I remember those scribbles, but they were added much more recently, and… the author’s scent was surprisingly similar to yours…” Lily bit her lip with concern. “Maybe we should peek quickly, just to be really sure…” She nodded agreeably as she reached out towards Laura.
“Don’t be silly,” Laura shook her head disapprovingly as she grabbed at her sister’s hands, “that’s just a blatant excuse for you to play doctor. There’s no time and we still have to resolve this mess before Father arrives.”
“Aww you’re such a spoilsport,” Lily pouted disappointedly, “it’s actually just a tiny little hole anyway. And it’s not as if we blew up the entire harbor like the last time we played hide and seek together? I’m sure that Father won’t be too mad…”
“Honored Princesses, please do not concern yourself about the damage to the ship. How about some tea? We have prepared the best cabin in the ship to accommodate you.” The wise captain interjected with diplomatic hurriedness.
“Tea! What a smashing idea.” Lily smiled brightly as she clapped her hands together and skipped past the packed crew members before they could react, “I’m sure that your unique blend of Vaishyan Darjeeling and aged Saadian Pu’er will be an enlightening experience.” The witch giggled contentedly as she disappeared up the narrow stairwell.
“Darjeeling and Pu’er?” Grimm blinked with confusion as he stared at the remaining princess before him, “But how did she…”
Laura’s cheerful exterior was instantly replaced with a chilling seriousness as she stared at the men arrayed defensively before her, “No matter what happens, don’t ask any more questions, don’t try to understand anything, and don’t show any fear. Do as I say and most of you will actually survive to see another dawn.” She hissed softly even as she waved a talisman to seal the chamber from observation, “This is your super-duper final warning!”
“But…” Marcel stammered incredulously.
“Sister Laura, hurry up, tea’s waiting. Stop whispering to those mundane sailors down there, I promised Father that I wouldn’t hurt them. So stop worrying!” Lily shouted as she stomped impatiently on the wooden floorboards.
“Coming! Jeez, it’s just some tea, why are you suddenly so excited?” Laura dashed hastily up the stairs to reunite with her twin. Her smile flipped instantly into a disapproving frown as she jerked open the door to the finely decorated cabin Lily was residing in, “You promised Father not to hurt anymore!” She complained as she eyed the trembling crewmember crouching at the corner of the chamber. The man moaned softly as he curled up into a fetal position while clutching at a vicious head wound. The blood gushing from his injury, stained deep into the wooden floorboards, and soaked through the deck beneath them.
“Oh elder sister, you’re finally here. Come quickly, I’ve already figured out how to brew just the perfect pot of tea!” Lily smiled cheerfully as she gestured eagerly at the elegantly decorated tea set laid out on the table before her.
Laura sighed loudly as she tugged the man forcefully to his feet and tagged him hastily with a healing talisman, “Oh bloody Krall, what did you do to him? Lend me some of your blood, I can’t fix this stupid mundane with just my magic alone.”
“Oh, it was just a harmless procedure that let me borrow a piece of his mind, here you can return it to him! I wanted to learn how mundanes brewed tea on a ship and he helpfully volunteered to teach me. Aren’t Father’s hired sailor minions just such a kind and generous people?” Lily nodded reasonably as she brandished the white quivering piece of brain in her hand.
Laura muttered darkly under her breath as she shoveled the jelly-like substance back into the skull of the horrified sailor. The princess marched up to her twin and stabbed her wrist with a blade before she could protest and filled a saucer with her blood. Then her brows furrowed in concentration as she dipped her finger in the fresh red extract and she began tracing out an intricate restorative spell on a blank piece of parchment. The princess sighed finally as she blew softly at the damp newly created talisman, “Okay, now we fix that stupid mundane and wipe his memories before he…” Laura’s voice trailed off as she blinked with disbelief, “holy Krall, where did that stupid run off to?”
Lily let out an anticipatory giggle, “The book was right! He enjoyed my ministrations so much that he ran out to invite his friends to join in the fun. I can already hear his screams of joy and the ecstatic heart beats of my approaching mundane volunteers!” Laura cursed in reply as she dashed towards the entrance to bar it with a defensive talisman but the door caved inward as a red-faced Lieutenant Marcel burst into the chamber and jabbed a loaded pistol at the twins.
“What did you do to our cook?” The agitated man demanded furiously as Laura backed warily away from between him and her younger twin.
“I warned you not to ask any questions….” Laura groaned as Lily sidled up expectantly to the fanatic officer.
“Here, you’ll understand everything after a few tiny upgrades…” Lily cooed comfortingly as she pressed her handy snippy talisman against his skull.
“What!? Wait… no… help… arrgh!” Marcel screamed as Lily’s magic cleaved straight through his forehead. The panicked man discharged his weapon straight into Lily’s slender chest and the powerful pointblank blast blew the unprepared witch off her feet and into the far wall. “No… what have I done?” The Lieutenant gibbered in disbelief as he eyed the crumpled child and clutched at the blood pouring profusely from his head wound.
“What happened here!? Oh gods, get the medic immediately!” Captain Grimm yelled in horror as he dashed into the room with the rest of his crew.
“Interesting. I would like to acquire your ability to summon a divine medic, I just have to borrow several of your parts for a couple of minutes.” Lily nodded from among the gathered crew as she rubbed at the bloody smudge in her dress.
“Aphrodite’s tits! How the hell did she get over here?” A sailor stammered in disbelief as his eyes darted repeatedly between the bloody patch where Lily had lain and the girl standing amidst them.
“So many curious volunteers!” Lily giggled as she waved excitedly to her sister, “Dearest elder sister, wanna join them? It’ll be fun!”
“I warned you.” Laura muttered at the confused crew of the Albatross. Then she smiled wanly at Lily, “I think I’ll have a short nap at the masthead while waiting for Father to arrive. I’m sure you’ll have enough fun even without me. Please, please remember not to sink the boat, we still need it for the picnic remember?” The princess retrieved a talisman and fled hurriedly from her younger sister to the highest part of the ship and she plugged her ears and squeezed her eyes tightly shut as the captain’s decapitated head hit the deck.
“It’s a demonic monster! Kill it, kill it!” The still intact crewmembers unloaded a volley of heated lead into the witch. The air grew hazy with smoke as her bloodied body jerked repeatedly from the impact of several dozen rounds.
Lily frowned at the horrified crew as she straightened up and eyed the tattered remains of her dress, “I must protest your highly improper treatment,” she smiled, “it appears that I also have to educate you on the niceties of society. Why don’t the lot of you settle down and listen to my lecture, Father will definitely be pleased if I instruct you on the finer points of Andanian mannerisms and culture.” The princess darted forward with a blur of speed and tore off a pair of heads before arranging them carefully on the nearest table.
“Help! I don’t wanna die!” The surviving crew scattered in various directions as they discarded their ineffective weaponry and fled either towards the gangplank for the shore or directly for the closest railings to leap into the ocean
“Don’t you worry, nobody ever dies!” Lily shouted reassuringly after the fleeing crew, “my sister’s the one that actually kills anyone!” Then their screams of joy filled the air as she added their heads to her collection of very willing listeners. And not a single soul made it off the Albatross in one piece as the witch began her lecture.