"This is not a present." My annoyed sister informed me. "This is grunt work. Just because I like to read doesn't mean you can force me to do research and pretend you're doing me a favor." She gestured to the small pile of books on the table. "That said, I did look through the list, because I agree it's important, and I skimmed the volumes she gave you. My final determination is...I don't know."

I blinked at her. "That's not a determination." I said flatly. "That's the opposite of a determination. Also it wasn't like I just dumped it on you and expected you to get it done. I offered to help, you just sent me away after a few minutes."

"Because you wouldn't stop HUMMING!" She snapped. "And you were tapping your toes nonstop. I couldn't focus. "

I threw up my hands in a 'there you go' sort of gesture, and she snorted in annoyance, turning back to her books. "Anyway, point is, no, I found nothing. Or rather, I found too much. There are at least five possible options for what Spencer might be doing in those tunnels, even after factoring in all the possible eliminating features. This isn't some video game where the scouts use their identify spell to figure out the special dirt at the base of the walls and use that to puzzle out the answer. I'll need to go down there and look around. And I'll need access to someone with scouting capabilities. I think we should bring Bethy."

Smirking at her, I made sure she could hear the smile in my voice. "Oh really? You sure you don't just want some alone time with the pretty vampire? I have better things to do than chaperone your first date."

"I don't...I...that's...what are you even...shut up!" My sister's face had gone bright red, and it was hard not to crack up at the panic on her face. "Bethy is a valuable and useful member of this team, and I need her services so we can find evidence. Her cats and even her new dog will be invaluable for searching underground in dark tunnels. I wouldn't say we should bring her just because she's pretty." Her eyes went wide. "I mean not pretty. Well, not not pretty but-"

I held up a hand. "Please stop. I promise to stop teasing you if you promise to stop stammering and blushing. This is going from amusing to awkward at absurd speeds. I'm down to go exploring with you and Bethy, but I'm not sure how safe that would be. People are disappearing down there. Even though Anna's people made it out, that doesn't mean we can go down there without any worries."

"I know." She said with a sigh. "Even with Gabriel and Callen alongside us, we wouldn't be safe from most of the beasts that might trouble us. We need someone in the D-ranks at least. Higher would be better, but as long as we don't go too deep we should be fine. Which is why I think we should bring Anna."

Snorting, I shook my head. "You planning to pay her? Because I'm fresh out of accessible wishes."

"I could." She admitted freely. "Though it would put a big dent in my walking around money. But I don't think I need to. Try asking her. No offers of payment, just one friend requesting help from another."

My sister's naivete was kind of charming, so I decided to humor her, tracking down Anna and asking her outright. "Hey, we were heading down to do some recon on the tunnels but it's not safe to go alone. Will you come with us?" I expected her to just blow me off, so I didn't bother trying to wheedle or phrase it in some enticing way.

"Sure." She said with a smile.

"Ok, no problem." I nodded. "I figured you'd be bus-wait what'd you say now?" I blinked, my brain crashing to a halt at the weird about face.

"Traditionally." She said kindly. "When someone says yes you shouldn't question them about it. Not only does it make you seem unconfident, it makes them reassess helping you. But I'll let it slide this time since your shocked face is so funny to look at."

I gestured to my blank wooden mask. "You couldn't see my face. You had no idea it looked shocked."

"I have a good imagination." She laughed. "Plus you just confirmed it. Anyway, go get the others. You bringing your lady love on this recon trip?"

Shaking my head, I explained. "Callie has some training to do today. Plus she can feel what happens through our bond." It was also a good chance to spend time with my sister, though obviously I couldn't say that. Chelsea and I hadn't really hung out, and a big nerdy research trip seemed like a fun getting to know you exercise.

Bethy would be along too, but in my experience she spent half her time vanishing when you weren't looking and reappearing being chased by monsters. Chances were good we would have time to talk, even if we couldn't let on about our family situation with Anna nearby. She shrugged, sending me off to get the others, and I strolled off to find our resident vampire fashionista.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

To my surprise, I found her out front of the inn. Gabe was sitting and reading a book and Bethy had her head in his lap, a small dark umbrella held between his thighs casting shade on her face as she napped.

"Hey." I said as I stepped outside. "Sorry to interrupt reading time, but I was hoping to talk to Bethy."

She sat up excitedly. "Are you finally going to let me fix your hair? I'm so excited, I thought you were never going to figure out how bad it looks!"

"No it's-" I froze. "Wait, what's wrong with my hair?" I self consciously ran my fingers through my sandy blonde locks. "I guess it's getting a little long, but it doesn't look that bad, does it?" I glanced at Gabe who just shrugged, and made a mental note to ask Callie.

Bethy shook her head. "Of course it is, you look like a wheat field after a tornado, but that's not important right now. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"What?" I said, having been checking the camera on my scan ring to try and figure out what she meant. "Oh, we have a recon mission I wanted help with. Poptarts and Donuts would be perfect to run scouting for it, and Luggage would be good to watch our backs down there." I shook off the hair stuff, cursing myself for getting sucked into Bethy's pace. First rule of talking to Bethy was not to let her lead the conversation. That way lay madness.

I'd gotten distracted, and when I turned around, I saw Bethy staring back at me seriously, wearing a big yellow hardhat with a light on it and holding an actual pickaxe. "Sergeant Bethy of the tunnel expedition team reporting for duty, SIR!" She saluted with the pickaxe, and Gabe had to roll out of the way so he didn't get caught in the face. Bethy glanced back and giggled. "Oops, sorry. This is an E-ranked pick, I underestimated the weight a bit."

"Where did you get..." I sighed, waving it away. "Never mind. I'm glad to have you along. But you know you aren't a sergeant of anything right?" She'd already walked away, humming excitedly, the pick over her shoulders as she strode inside. "Bethy?" I called after her. "Bethy I need you to tell me you don't think you're a sergeant! You're in the military, this is kind of a big deal!"

She didn't respond and I sighed, putting my hand on my mask. "It's fine." Said Gabe with a laugh. "Jessie keeps her from interacting with anyone in an official capacity. Healers get a lot of leeway, and she keeps Randall and Luggage around looking scary just in case. She's not going to walk into some random barracks and assume command." He paused. "Probably." He got up and headed for the door. "Actually it might be a good idea to clarify things."

After we clarified with Bethy that she wasn't an officer, and informed her that the phrase 'you are what you eat' did NOT mean that she could snack on an officer and get an official rank, we filled her in on the details of our fact finding mission.

"Of course I'll come with you guys!" She squealed excitedly, once we gave her all the context. "Donuts and Poptarts have been dying to get out and stretch their legs. Plus I love hanging out with Chelsea." She shot my sister a grin. "We're going to find all sorts of terrible monsters, right bestie?"

I grimaced. "No, Bethy we don't WANT to find any monsters. Like there's probably something, but best case scenario we find nothing."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be a baby, Shane. Monsters will give us something cool to fight. Plus if I'm lucky there might be a new kind of kitty down there. Wouldn't it be so cool if I could get an underground kitty? Oh! I could get one for Chelsea too! She doesn't have any pets."

I debated telling her not to bring home any tamed monsters...but she never listened to me, so it would be wasted breath. "Alright then, lets go. Anyone know where the entrance to these tunnels are?"

Chelsea raised her hand. "According to the books, there's a bunch of them. Closest one is the wishing well on the south side of town. Apparently the thing is so deep it intersects one of the tunnels. They've never bothered to plug it because monsters don't go into that part of the Undertrek."

"Can we stop to make a wish?" Asked Bethy excitedly. "I've always wanted to make a wish and have it come true!" We all stopped, turning to stare at her in complete bewilderment. "What?" She said innocently.

I was...ninety percent sure she was fucking with me right now, but she had such a good poker face it was impossible to tell. "Right." I said slowly. "Let's go." Chelsea, Bethy, Anna and I all set out, heading for the south side of town where this wishing well was located.

Anna was talking to Bethy, laughing her ass off at the younger girl's antics, and I briefly wondered if it was a good idea to introduce them, but I doubted Bethy could influence a D-ranker, and I doubted ANYTHING could influence Bethy. Although, I still needed to talk to her about her bloodlust. We'd talked about helping her but things had been so damned hectic we hadn't had a chance.

When we arrived at the wishing well, I gestured for Anna to go first. "I'll follow you down." I said to the information broker. "I'm at E-rank, so I can catch the other two if either of them stumbles."

She agreed, and with a quick casual step she vanished into the hole in the ground. I followed behind her, stepping off the edge and activating State of Grace. I drifted pleasantly to the ground, touching down soundlessly and then having to scramble out of the way as a horde of bat winged cats carried my sister down through the hole, depositing her on the ground in a giggling mess.

"That tickled!" Said Chelsea with a laugh as Bethy reformed, grinning at us. "Why didn't you just let Shane catch me?"

Bethy gave her a solemn look. "Cats always land you on your feet." She said seriously. Before winking and skipping off into the dark a ways. When she was a bit apart from us, two dark shapes rose from the ground. As Donuts and Poptarts appeared, the world around her shimmered, her domain opening and a massive black dog with red eyes stepped out. I looked around slowly. The hound was here. Time to hunt.