Ezzie said, as I entered the mine.

I said, as I ducked into the mine and jogged down the tunnels, the walls flickering red with lantern light.

I grunted.

Ezzie said.

I said, the words dripping with sarcasm.

I found the goblins exactly where they’d been before; leaning up against the far railing, looking over the edge and down the mineshaft with the lift between them.

I strode forward, not bothering with stealth, but still managed to get pretty close before the goblins sniffed the air, turned, and charged.

I kicked one of them square in the chest, launching him straight through the railing and down into the mineshaft below. The other, smaller goblin tried to stab me, but I threw up a Mirror Block, my shield blurring across my body and deflecting the strike, sending the small blade tumbling from her hand.

I jabbed my hammer into the goblin’s midsection, causing her to double over, then smashed her with an overhand strike to the back of the head.

Ezzie said.

I said, as I stepped onto the lift.

Ezzie said.

I shrugged. The lift rumbled down into the mineshaft, click-clacking its way through the dark.

The elevator shuddered as it hit the ground floor, and both of the human guards turned to regard me with wide eyes, the two of them kneeling to either side of the goblin I’d kicked over the edge.

Ezzie said.

I said. I charged straight ahead, bullrushing the closer human with my shield pressed to my shoulder. The impact sent him stumbling backward, dazed.

The second human appeared behind me—she’d moved fast, especially for her level—and I felt her dagger slide into my lower back. I spun in place, whipping an elbow around and catching the low-level mob in the jaw and knocking her to the ground.

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I wanted to put her down as fast as possible given that suicide spell she’d used last time, so I kicked her right in the temple before she had a chance to get her bearings.

The remaining human whipped a throwing dagger at me, and I blocked it with my shield, the blade sparking as it was deflected into the cavern wall. The thief turned and ran, in the direction of the large cavern.

I bent low and scooped his dagger up, cocked back, and threw. The blade caught him between the shoulder blades and he went down hard, sliding face-first across the floor.

Ezzie said.

I jogged up to the thief and smashed my hammer into the hilt of the dagger I’d thrown, forcing it clear through his spine with a wet, satisfying crunch.

Ezzie gagged again.

I said.

I said. I kept moving down the hall, trying to force the troublesome thought away.

Ezzie said. <…but just so you know, I recorded your original remorse baselines before the system adjusted anything. We can set all that back before you’re returned to the wild if that’s something you’re interested in. I’ll help you out with whatever you think is best when the time comes. You can go right back to being the old you, if that’s what you want.>

I hesitated, then inclined my head.

Ezzie said.

I said.

I slipped into the main cavern unnoticed, making it halfway across the room without drawing attention.

I wasn’t worried about being spotted this time; there were only five guards, and none of them were higher than level four. I’d just kill them if it came to it.

Ezzie said.

Ezzie said. She sounded excited, on the very edge of bursting.

I said.

Ezzie said.

Well, that was heartening.

<…like what?>

Ezzie said.

“Witchflame Burst,” I whispered, quiet enough that nobody else would hear. I wanted the eerie green glow to be the first thing people saw.

The cavern quieted as the miners stopped striking, and several of the guards headed my way. I activated Lecherous Strike and several of the miners actually gasped. This was my moment.

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t make myself speak; it was like…oh no.

It was Ezzie. “I’m a little teapot, short and stout,” I said. Ezzie raised my hammer. “Here is my handle.” She raised my shield. “Here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out.”