Lazily opening my eyes the next morning I stared at the ceiling for a while trying to process all the things that happened yesterday. I had a hard time coming to grips with how much fun I had. That was new for me, and I wasn’t sure about it. It was a good thing and I knew that in my head… My heart was a little different.

I should be embracing this new chance at life.

It was a hard concept to swallow.

A chance to do things over, use my experiences and learn from my past. I could do any of the myriad things I had dreamed about, choose a different career path, whatever I wanted really.

So why was I hesitating? Why not greet the day and charge forward? There was only one reason… Well, one giant reason with a few large reasons that combined with it. That made it harder to embrace my new me.

I was scared.

Some of it was due to my biggest change, some due to the memories Jacobus put in my head.

What did that mean though? I was scared of losing ‘Myself’.

I could already tell that my personality was changing little by little and I was worried that my sense of self was changing with it. I know that I wasn’t the best person out there, yet I had tried to be someone that could be relied upon by those around him. I wasn’t a hero and never wanted to be one. Let someone else be in the foreground and take the glory.

You could say I looked at myself like a foundation, holding my friends and family up and supporting them in any way I could. I never wanted nor needed popularity or any kind of fame. A few good friends and my family were more than enough.

What made me, me? It was hard to quantify. I still felt like I was losing a part of myself.

Now my thoughts were spiraling again. I know I needed to figure this out, nonetheless, I also needed to take my time and slowly work through everything. All my fears, my hopes, and dreams, everything will work out one way or another. No one can force it. All you could do was move forward and work for it, whatever ‘it’ was to you.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of bed and stretched.

After getting home yesterday afternoon, Alex and I had eaten the leftovers and then exercised for about an hour before bed. That was the routine that I had been doing for years and it was reassuring in its familiarity.

Trying to decide what to wear, I was leaning toward one of my pairs of flannel pants and a t-shirt when I spotted some of the new knitted thigh-length socks. My ‘comfy’ meter skyrocketed again.

Crap.

It looked like I had no choice. Meh, it can’t be that bad, can it? After yesterday, wearing skirts didn’t bother me quite as much, and to tell you the truth, I didn’t mind wearing skirts and dresses as much as I thought I would. I still wasn’t completely sure I could get used to or even wanted to be like that though. The memories actually helped as much as hurt. I still didn’t like that they pretty much compelled me to wear those kinds of clothes, although when I really thought about them, they gave me that sense of familiarity as well.

Finding no sense in fighting it all at once, I picked out a pair that was beige and a white above-the-knee skirt, a light green sleeveless shirt, and one of the simple bras. I took Alex’s… Nope, my hoodie and the nightgown off (yes, I wore both for some reason. Don’t ask…) and got dressed. The hoodie went right back on as well without me even noticing.

Not thinking about much more than food, I yawned as I walked into the kitchen, and hearing Alex’s chuckle startled me.

“You look relaxed this morning.”

“Morning Uncle Alex.”

“There is some food in the microwave. It should still be warm. There’s also milk and juice in the fridge if you want any.”

“Thanks. Orange juice sounds good. Is there anything we need to do today?”

“Not really. The crew that’s working on the house should be here any minute so it might get a little noisy. I do need to run into town later and check on how the restaurant is coming along.”

“Mm, Do I need to go?”

“Hmm, it might be best. I don’t think anything would happen so we will see. That’s not until after lunch so we can play it by ear.”

“Ok.”

I filled a glass with juice and pulled the plate of food out of the microwave. As I sat down to eat Alex’s phone rang.

“Morning Becca, did I forget something yesterday?”

“What do you think you were doing?!” Rebecca’s shout was so loud Alex had to take the phone from his ear and I could hear her from across the table.

“Rebecca? What do you mean? All we did was go shop…”

“I know about your shopping! Natalie told me all about it!”

“Then I don’t know why you’re yelling at me. Did I do something wrong?”

I couldn’t hear Rebecca’s side after that. What I did understand was she was mad at Alex for letting Natalie go wild and picking out so many clothes. From my point of view, it was unavoidable. Neither Alex nor I had any idea what a young girl needed and just ended up going with the flow. It seems that was Rebecca’s point.

Rebecca had also scolded Natalie when she had gotten home and enthusiastically told her all about her little shopping trip with me. It kinda sounded like Natalie had been in tears after that. It wasn’t said, but that was my gut feeling.

After she was done scolding Alex, Rebecca apologized for Natalie’s antics and they started chatting about other things. Alex looked at me when I got up to take the dishes into the kitchen and chuckled, commenting that he probably wasn’t getting his hoodie back, then froze.

“Umm, what’s up Uncle Alex?”

“We forgot to get you a coat and a couple of hoodies…”

“Oh, we did.”

“Don’t you dare go and buy any! I have some of Natalie’s old coats and a couple of hoodies that she didn’t wear and grew out of that should fit little Sasha.” Rebecca must have heard what Alex had said to me. She had to have yelled into the phone for me to hear her again as I was in the kitchen washing my plate and glass.

“Alright, I hear you, Becca. You don’t have to blow my ear drum out.”

After talking for a little longer, it seems they decided to meet up just before lunch. Alex let slip that he had to run by the restaurant and Becca decided that I should go out for lunch with her and Natalie. She wouldn’t take no for an answer either, claiming that a construction site was no place for a young lady to be, even if I stayed in the pickup.

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I guess I have no choice. I’m going back into town.

We still had a couple of hours before we needed to leave so I hung up the rest of my clothes, organized my room, and put my phone and debit card in my new phone case to pass the time.

About the time we needed to leave I was trying to decide if I should take my socks off and put hose on or just go like I was.

Screw it.

Trying a few different pairs of shoes to see if they looked weird, I landed on a pair of light green pumps with about a one-and-a-half-inch heel that kind of matched my shirt. It didn’t look too bad to me so I went with it. I figured Rebecca or Natalie would say something if it didn’t work, so I put a pair of white hose in my little handbag just in case.

Yep, my mindset is definitely changing.

The weather outside was gorgeous again today so I didn’t really need my hoodie and reluctantly took it off and laid it on my bed. It must be turning into something like a safety blanket for me.

Grabbing my handbag and putting my phone inside, I used a dark green scrunchy to tie my hair up in a high ponytail and we got in the pickup and left.

Pulling into my old work’s parking lot again, Rebecca’s SUV was already there so Alex parked beside it and we headed inside. I had a feeling about what was going to happen. Even knowing couldn’t fully prepare me though, and I was blindsided by a hug from Natalie, who had a sheepish grin on her face and started apologizing to Alex for yesterday.

Alex just laughed and told her it was fine, no harm done and that I needed the clothes anyway. A stern glance from Rebecca shut him up pretty quickly. In the end, she just sighed and said as long as we were ok with it, we should use it as a learning experience.

“Here Sasha, I like your hair like that, but we can spruce it up a little to make it look more natural. Tight ponytails like that look good and are nice for when you’re exercising or you need to keep your hair out of your face, for going out there are better choices.” Rebecca swooped in and started leading me to her office after admonishing Natalie and Alex again.

“Um, Ok Becca. Thanks.”

“No problem dear. Come on Natalie, you can give me a hand. Give us a call when you are done at the new restaurant Alex. We’ll take good care of Sasha.”

“Uhh, Are you sure this is alright Becca? Sasha doesn’t know you guys well yet and she.”

“It’s fine Alex. We won’t bite, besides, Sasha is going to need some other women around that she can trust. I promise to take good care of her. Quit being such a helicopter dad. This will be good for her.” Rebecca cut him off before he could finish.

“But…”

“No buts. She needs this and so do you. Get going now, you have things to do.” She wasn’t backing down and was somewhat scary right now. I could see why Kennith jumped when she told him to and I couldn’t help but giggle.

Alex looked crestfallen when he heard me. Sorry Alex, what goes around, comes around. Consider that payback for yesterday when Rebecca hurried me off and you just shook your head.

“I will be fine Uncle Alex. If you trust Mrs. Rebecca then I can too.”

“Ah, right. Ok, then Becca. Please take care of Sasha for me and call me right away if you need anything, Sasha.”

“She’ll be fine Alex. Shoo, we have things to do as well.” She actually said shoo and waved Alex away. The look on Alex’s face and how she did that was so funny I couldn’t keep from giggling again. The other ladies in the office started laughing as well.

I could tell Alex was really embarrassed because he just grabbed the bridge of his nose and grumbled something unintelligible as he walked out the door. Unfortunately for him, that just made everyone laugh harder.

Twenty minutes later Rebecca and Natalie had redone my ponytail by loosening up my hair around my head and lightly twisting some of it together. They left some of my bangs out to fall in front and then spread and did something to the back to make it flair out. The bangs we ended up tucking behind my ears since they were so long.

“Maybe we should take Sasha to the Solon and get her a haircut. What do you think mom?” Natalie asked while she was putting her brush and hair ties into her bag.

“That could be fun. We could go after we eat lunch.”

“Umm. Please don’t.”

“What do you mean Sasha? Your hair is gorgeous, but it would make it a lot easier to take care of. We could still leave it nice and long, just maybe layer it a bit and trim it a little.” Natalie tilted her head and looked confused.

“I like it like this. My mom always said it was beautiful and that I should make sure to take good care of it. Her hair was even longer than mine. I loved having her brush my hair.” Did I really say that? For some reason, those memories flashed through my head. Somehow, I could also ‘feel’ those exact feelings as well. Dang it Jacobus, how did you even make those up, and why are they going through my head?

“…”

“…”

Rebecca and Natalie looked at each other and I swear they had tears in their eyes.

“Alright Sasha, we won’t bring it up again.” Rebecca finally replied in a soft and gentle voice while Natalie bent down and hugged me tightly while telling me she was sorry for bringing it up.

We finished putting everything away while they collected themselves.

“Hey Sasha, I really like your outfit today. You look so cute I just want to cuddle with you all day.” Natalie finally broke the silence while we were getting into Rebecca’s Escalade, prompting Rebecca to reach over and lightly smack her on the backside of her head.

You want to What Natalie?

“What, it’s true. That outfit is really cute. I really like how she put it together, and I’m glad she likes the socks I found for her.”

“While that may be true, you didn’t have to add that last part. It could make her uncomfortable, especially since she doesn’t know us that well.” Rebecca reprimanded her in a stern voice.

“Umm, It’s embarrassing, but I’m Ok. Thanks for saying you liked my outfit. I didn’t know if I could wear the socks like this. They were just so comfy I didn’t want to take them off, so please don’t be too mad at Natalie.” I tried to step in and help Natalie. I could tell that she didn’t mean anything bad about it and it seemed her personality was just bubbly and happy-go-lucky.

“Alright Sasha, if you say so. Try to be a little less energetic Natalie. We need to let Sasha get more used to being around us first.”

“Ok mom, I’ll try.” Natalie agreed and then turned to me in the back seat. “While you don’t usually see people wearing socks like that around town, it is getting more popular Sasha. I think you pull it off well and how you matched them with your shoes and shirt, along with the white skirt looks really cute.”

I blushed after hearing that. I still didn’t know if everything actually worked well together, though if she thought they did, I would go with it.

What I had said hit me a second later and I blushed even harder. Dang it.

Rebecca drove out of the parking lot and we were on our way to get lunch. They knew of a little mom-and-pop Italian bistro close to downtown that had great salads and other light lunch dishes. A salad sounded good, so I agreed.

Natalie and I chatted about clothes and fashion (didn’t see that coming did you…) with Rebecca joining in once in a while. It was a pleasant thirty-minute drive.

Finding a parking spot along the street a couple of blocks from the bistro, we got out of the SUV and started walking. We were in one of the nicer, if busier parts of town, even so, I started to feel like I was being stared at. That definitely made me a little anxious.

Rebecca and Natalie instinctively moved me between them and Natalie grabbed my hand.

“Don’t worry too much about it Sasha. Nothing is going to happen. I know you came from a small town so you’re not used to this. Most people are just curious is all, and they are looking at all three of us. Your hair color does stand out some I’ll admit, although it isn’t that uncommon.” Rebecca said in a reassuring tone.

“She’s just too cute mom. I feel sorry for Alex.” Natalie said with a laugh.

Really Natalie? Did you have to say that, and in that way?

“That’s true. I’m glad he trains so much. Ha ha. I almost feel more sorry for any boyfriends Sasha might get. Alex might end up being the pain to deal with in the long run though. I never thought He could be so overprotective.”

Boyfriends? Oh H*** No! Please don’t even joke about that you two.

“Umm, why would he have a problem with any boys who were my friends? I have a few back home, and my parents liked them.” If they’re going to go there, I have to try to mess with them as well. A ten-year-old wouldn’t know what a boyfriend was, right? At least not that way, right?

“Well… You don’t have to worry about that for now Sasha. Mom and I were just joking around so don’t mind us…” Natalie haltingly replied. Yep, that killed that conversation. Bingo!

“Ok, Natalie.” I tilted my head and acted confused. Natalie blushed a pretty pink color and couldn’t look at me while Rebecca laughed at her as we reached the bistro. Rebecca opened the door for us and we were greeted by a pretty blond hostess that was probably in her late teens.

“Welcome to Benedetti’s. Oh, hey Natalie.”

“Hey, Samantha. Working again today?”

“Ya, my dad said it was good for me to work on the days I don’t have school. I like how our school switched over to a college-like schedule, but now I have to work more. Sorry, is it the three of you? Oh, who is this little cutie?”

Why am I being called a ‘little cutie’ and ‘cute’ all the time? I thought people only said that about kids under five or something?

“This is Sasha. She’s a friend and the daughter of one of the guys who worked for my parents. She just moved here and we are taking care of her today.”

“Really? That’s awesome. Hi Sasha, I’m Samantha, It’s nice to meet you. Hello to you as well Rebecca. It’s good to see you.”

“Hello, Samantha. It’s been a while. A table for three will be fine.”

“Got it, right this way please,” Samantha said as she lead us to a small table in the back of the dining room. The place was almost packed with very few tables empty.

Still, it’s a nice quiet place. This shouldn’t be too bad, Right?