I often find myself, thinking about how movies and TV series were wrong about this whole zombie apocalypse thing. It's almost three years since it began, but I still can't stop comparing reality to those fictions. Of course, it's not like those books and movies were completely wrong, many things are like in scripts, but seriously, how those characters from TV screen could kill those creatures so easily? My favorite example is ordinary zombie decapitation, looks simple, isn’t it? It's not.

Right now, I am standing in the middle of street and I am in the deep shit. About three meters in front of me stands perfect example of walking dead. One wouldn’t be such a problem but I can see five more down the street and they already noticed my presence. Let's forget about those five and focus on gentlemen in front of me, decapitation right? First of all you need a tool, I got some bastard sword. It's really nice, you can wield it in one or both hands and naturally it doesn’t need any ammo, just a grinding stone once a while.

I was always laughing while watching some famous brothers from TV show beheading evil creatures with huge hunter knives and similar stuff, it was just ridiculous. But you can ask, it has to be some brutal medieval blade? What about something more sophisticated like katana?

Yeah, katanas are cool, I have even meet some guy wielding one about two years ago. He was doing well while using it but there is one problem, that guy got black belt in every martial art that I could name. He was like bastard son of Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, he was jumping, slicing and kicking zombies like a mad. To be honest I was pretty sad when he died from bite wound infection, I wanted him to teach me some of that moves.

Ok, let’s head back to decapitation, we got our tool so the next step is to cut the neck of zombie in front of me. Sound simple, isn’t it? Let’s give it a try.

So, I stand in stance, with my legs little wider than normal, both of my hands are wielding sword, I am ready, just wait let him come closer.

It take some time for zombies to notice prey but when they finally see you, it's really hard to run from them. They are not as slow as in TV but fortunately they don’t run like athletes.

So, gentlemen in front of me started to act. He made first step and second one. Ok, that’s the moment time slice some flesh, just one clear cut. And… I fucked up... sword is stuck in his spine.

There are few possible causes of such a failure. Firstly, I have heavy backpack on me with addition of whole protective gear I am wearing it's almost miracle that I can even move. Second problem is sharpness of my blade, I tried almost everything but keeping this thing sharp is like trying to fill broken bucket.

Third reason why I failed is because decapitation looks cool and easy only in TV. Zombie with sword in his neck fall on the ground, I guess I was little lucky, the spine core was damaged. For a short moment I think about releasing sword from dead body but fuck this thing. I am already tired of trying to learn how fight with this blade, it's not like I needed it, I took it because it looked cool.

Ok, I need to stop thinking about weird shit and focus on important things, like five zombies heading my way. Quick look on my surroundings and thank god there is one. About 20 meters behind me is solution for this situation.

I take me a few seconds to reach ordinary white van about two meters in high. Only problem is to get myself on the roof, it's not impossible but backpack isn’t helping. Fortunately front window is broken and makes it easier for me. Ok, I am finally on the roof and zombies are still 10 meters from my shelter.

Now I got few minutes to take care of them, at least TV shows were right about their intelligence, they are nothing more than dead bodies with deep need of fresh human flesh. Zombies won't get me when I am on the roof of a van but I can’t spend too much time here. It will be unlucky, if noise made by them will lure more of their kind and there is also a chance that other humans will hear it. I don’t know which option is worse.

So I am sitting on the car and zombies are trying to get me, it may looks bad but I am calm. Fortunately sword wasn’t my only weapon, there is strange looking pickax attached to the right side of my backpack. It looks little like those used for mountain climbing but its handle is longer and its spike is smooth without any small hooks.

My pickax is weapon crafted specially for situations like that; spike is made from hardened steel so it won’t break form hitting enormous quantities of sculls. Yeah sculls, killing zombies is hard, so specialized tools are needed.

I am taking off my backpack, it takes me few seconds because I use all belts to wear it, it looks lame, like six years old going first time to school lame, but after few months of wearing your whole stuff on your back, it's only choice. Without additional weight on me I can move almost normally. So when I am sure of my movements, it's time for some zombie elimination.

I kneel on the edge of a van with pickax in my hands; under me are five pairs of arms and five zombie heads. And once again, killing zombies is not an easy thing; I need to be very careful while piercing their heads. There are two bad things that can happened, one of zombies will grab my pickax and I want be able to take it back from its steel grab, or dead zombie will pull me down while falling.

Fortunately crushing zombie heads became like national sport in last few years and almost every person alive could be called an expert it this discipline. One by one with a quiet sound of breaking bones zombies are dying with a little help of my pickax. 

When I am done with scull cracking it's time to change location, it's not like such an experienced survivor like was caught by six zombies by mistake, seriously it wasn’t my choice to go this way, I was made to do this.

While walking down the street my eyes meet the zombie that I killed first, the one with sword stuck in his neck. I takes me a while but I decide to take blade with me, it's not about how cool I look with a sword, not at all, I am just sure that I need just little more training to became master of decapitation, at least I won't run out of training dummies.

Sometimes I wish that, my zombie apocalypse would be more like the ones from TV it wouldn't change too much in whole picture but at least it would be easier to get some guns. Some of you may think, what I am talking about, in zombie apocalypse guns are almost everywhere, aren't they? Unfortunately not in my case, it's because my zombie apocalypse is taking place in Eastern Europe not in USA.

It's not like I couldn't find gun for a whole three years, I had dozens of them mostly AK's and some hunting rifles but getting them took at least fifty kilometers of walk in almost every case. But let’s think about why I want a gun? It seems like a stupid question but let’s think about it for a moment.

Firstly guns are loud and that’s the huge problem because zombies are very sensitive about noise, you can lure them easily with just a little noise but in the same time, with little help of masking cloths and remaining silent like a dead (that’s funny) you can pass almost touching them.

Another thing is that guns are heavy; seriously rifles are heavy and ammo to. Of course there is also everlasting ammunition problem, it's even harder to get that rifles. While talking about guns I have to mention one more thing, zombies are not only ones that can hear you shooting. There is a reason that people talking that melee for zombies guns for humans.

So you can ask why do I need a gun? Obviously because it looks cool, imagine yourself guy with AK's in one hand and with a sword in another, decapitating and shooting zombies in the same time. Ok, I admit it may be a little stupid but my delusion are the only entertainment for me right now. Of course I need gun to protect myself from other survivors but it's not like you may think.

There are no gunfights, or maybe there are but they are very rare. Firstly they are to loud, zombies or more humans could come, secondly ammo is hard to obtain and the most important reason is that nobody wants to die.

You know, there are few possibilities of meeting another person in zombie apocalypse. First one is that you and another person don't have guns, that’s the easy one. You can fight with bare hands or with what you have, you can talk with each other or you can go your own way and forget about whole situation. Second variant is that one of you have gun. That one is also simple, your new friend is an asshole and takes everything from you but you are still alive or he is a nice person and takes just part of your loot or doesn’t even take anything from you( very rare). There is also an option that you will end up killed but like I said before guns are loud, why somebody would take any additional risk. Third possibility is that both of you have a gun, it's similar to a first variant but it can end up with some Mexican standoff.

More interesting things happens when whole groups of survivors meets. Seriously I haven’t seen meeting of two armed groups that wouldn’t end up with some slaughter. So, as you can see rules are pretty simple those with more guns wins.

You may ask why I don't have any gun with me? Answer is pretty simple, I was so unlucky that meet a group of people on my way. Unfortunately for me they all have guns. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Fortunately for me that was group of rather overconfident youth so they were so nice to left me sword and pickax. They also didn’t wanted my protective gear. It's sad that even three years in this walking dead situation didn’t teach them anything, but who knows? Maybe I am wrong and their zombie apocalypse is right one? Anyway I just was happy that they left me that much a gear. It may seems not much but I were just one step form losing my life while collecting it. Seriously getting this SWAT protective gear took me almost one week of scull cracking, and believe me, zombie wearing police helmets is a nightmare.

But I run out of luck when I wanted to leave my new friends, unfortunately for me, they were serious about their, let’s call it territory domination, or they just want me dead without wasting precious bullets. Their leader said that they will let me go but under one condition, that the route which I take will go trough the city.

You may think, there is no way that few people could made me go that way or another, they would need to surround whole city or try to follow me. You would be right but they knew what they were doing. You see the city, I am talking about isn’t big, maybe 30000 of citizen, maybe less, but I was approaching it from the east and the west border of, lets call it city A, was created by river. Unfortunately for me it's middle of a spring where I am right now, so rivers are still full of water after the winter. If we add that river is going straight from south to north and only one bridge is still standing, right in the center of city, we will end up with pretty dam good death trap.

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So I am right here trying to make my way through city A. Walk through the abandoned city is always unpleasant experience for me. It makes me think about what humanity lost, it's even surprising for me, but it makes me angry. Don’t mean me wrong, I am not angry because some shitty military scientist couldn't keep such a virus or something locked. No, I am angry at myself because I think about some unnecessary shit.

I am walking with sword in my hands, yes I was serious when I was talking about mastering the blade, and I am looking for something. I can bet that you wouldn’t guess what I am looking for. You see, every time I decide to loot some city, there is one thing I am looking for first, it's a city map. Seriously, even simple city plan makes everything simpler.

So let’s start again, I am walking with sword in my hands and guess what ? There is fucking newsstand right in front of me, unbelievable. Unfortunately it seems like there are some clients still inside. I can see three of them, it's not that bad, I am pretty sure I can handle them but there is one problem.

You see as an experienced survivor, I have learned to pay attention to some details and believe me I paid a high price for that knowledge. When you enter any store, especially the smaller ones, you have to take a look inside, over the door. You may ask why, what kind important thing can be in such a place? Oh trust me, it's even more important than zombies inside. Almost every shopkeeper likes to know when client enters his shop, I doesn’t matter if is just convenience store or gun store, everybody wants to know when others enter their territory. Yeah it's so simple, an ordinary bell that will ring when doors open, can fuck you up for good.

It almost happens to me, at the beginning of apocalypse while a was still, lets call it unexperienced and stupid, I casually entered some store. It was late evening almost nigh, perfect opportunity to search for some loot,when there is still enough light for you to see, while zombie are becoming blind. So, like I said I just slowly passed few of them standing next on the street before store and entered the store. Guess what? 

Yeah, fucking bell ringed. Unfortunately I made this situation even worse and entered the store. I could know talk how I heroically slaughtered through crowd of dead I have found inside but I don’t want to fantasize to much, it supposed to be lesson for you. I will tell you only that, I have survived simply because of pure luck and lost almost whole my gear. You know, you should remember one thing, there is nothing more depressing than starting everything from the beginning once again, especially while zombie apocalypse.

So, the newspaper store. It may be looking like I want to prove something but I will get city map no matter what and I am 100% sure that I will find one in this store. Firstly little reconnaissance, store is located on corner of the two streets, there are few cars standing on the streets but what's really bothering me is lack of walkers, yes I will call them like that too, it seems to be more professional. Ok, the fact that streets are clear, is not the problem for this moment and to be honest it make things even more easier for me. Lucky for me the doors to the store got window only on the upper side.

Remember when I said that killing zombies is hard? And I was right but if you think a little you will be able to make things easier for yourself. I am ready, it's time for my sword to shine. I will do it old style with my right hand on handle and left halfway on blade, I stand right before doors. One quick hit and window is broken, zombies inside don’t need any more invitations. Ah, I almost forgot, before performing such an action make sure that doors open to inside, you don’t want them to go outside, don’t you?

As you probably imagine three accurate thrust and zombies aren't problem anymore. Smart, efficient and safe (mostly), that’s the proper way to eliminate dead. I am sure that those smarter and more observant of you will notice one flaw of my method. Yeah, doors are blocked, only way in is through the window I broke.

I assume, that you won’t be surprised if I tell you that I found perfect map? There was even pack of mints which looked edible. So, we got our map, next step of our smart and intelligent way to loot city is to find a police station. The chances are low but if you will be lucky you may find something useful like… I don’t know, maybe a gun?

I am ready to head out in direction of police station when some advertisement on the wall of the newspaper store catches my attention. Apparently woods around city were some hot spot for hunting before apocalypse, and even city wasn't big there was some gun store next to market square, I guess, I got little lucky once again. You are probably surprised that I am making such a big deal from a simple gun store but let me remind you that I am in Europe, we don’t sell guns in supermarkets here. I leave newspaper store, there is nothing interesting here.

While I am getting closer to the city center zombies are starting to appear, most of them I am able to pass without any problems, sneaking between abandoned cars. I am almost at market square, I just need to turn left on the next crossroad. Slowly I am getting closer to the edge of building located next to the street that will lead me straight to the market but when I take a careful look around corner, it's obvious for me that gun store is outside of my reach. To be honest I am truly afraid of what I saw and you have to understand that I have seen many terrible things since the beginning.

So firstly, I was right when I said that small number of walkers were suspicious, I guess it was only natural for someone with as much experience as me. Secondly, the thing that scared a shit out of me was crowd, unfortunately in times like this only crowd possible to see, is made from zombies. And finally, why gun shop is impossible to loot for me? Hah, it's simple, it's not a crowd made from dozens of zombies, it is made from at least dozens of hundreds. Ok, little trip for some sight-seeing is over, I turn around and return the same road which I came here, I will just take some nice and wide detour to the police station that should be on the opposite side of market.

Police station doesn’t look to promising, it's obvious that somebody was here before me. The first sign of others survivors past presence were remains with cracked sculls. What can I say? Those guys who were here before me weren’t fucking with their job. There are piles of dead zombies everywhere. I guess I should be grateful to the earlier police station guests, there is less work for me.

And once again, I believe that some of you may wonder why I am so interested in police station that was already looted. Ah, let me enlighten you, my young fellow zombie apocalypse survivors, as I have already explained to you, access to firearms was rather low in mu country so problems with finding them now are obvious. But don't worry about that because I had already some solution to this problem. Ah, I bet that I got your interest know? You probably wander, what kind of idea, I came up with?

It's simple, if you want to do something, the easiest way is to make someone else do your job.

Hah, brilliant isn’t it? So I will let someone else to find guns in neighborhood, and to be precise somebody have already located all firearms in area and they even made a list with addresses and types of weapon. Yes, I will use police database of registered weapons and permissions to use it. Yes, yes there is no electricity and computers don’t work but police got everything on paper too. So I am getting to work, firstly I just check whole station in case if some zombies where still here or earlier survivors have left something useful.

It take me almost two hours but my work pays off, I found box of 9mm ammunition, I was hidden deep inside one of desks, Lucky me. Ok, I am sure, right know that place is safe, it's time to take care of my real goal. While searching the building I already found the right office but armored locker was closed and key wasn't anywhere near. I assumed that key must be in one of zombies pocket and that’s why I am looting a corpses.

You may ask if I am not disgusted with what I am doing? Only thing I can say, is no. Maybe first month was a little hard, but after that I got used to it. I got used to dead bodies, to blood, to smell, to violence, you would be surprised to what kind of things, people can get used to. Unfortunately armored locker was a popular model, which remembered good years of communism and what really make things hard to me is that police station was full of such lockers.

After another two hours I have found about dozen of keys which look like they will fit. I decided to give it a try, maybe one of them will be one I am looking for. I try every key, one by one, and me hearth skips a beat when the last, is the right one. I am a fucking genius, locker is full of files, managed with alphabetical order by names that f people with permission to own a gun. I got about 4 hours before sun will set, so I get myself to work.

After about hour I got 5 different addresses marked on my map, I decide to not waste any more time, and move out. The first two locations are no good, there are too much walkers, I won't be able to even enter the building and there will be no safe way for me to leave it. Third is the one that I am most interested in, files says that it's house of retired military officer, who have hunting, sport and even self-defense permission.

When I reach location, I find out that it is a nice looking house near banks of a river. 

Around house is a garden, which grown wild in those three but you can see that somebody put a lot of work in it. Ok, ok, another shitty thought that I don’t need. What's more important area looks like, it is at least safer than rest of a city. But first things first, I can let myself to be not careful. I walk around the house, I look through windows and I know that place is safe.

How do I know that? The answer is inside. Front doors are open, I don’t really try to be silent when I enter a hall, house doesn't have second floor but it seems that there is a basement here, but basement it's not my goal right now, at least not yet. No, without hesitation I go through the hallway and enter the room which is master bedroom.

On the big double bed lies a pair of people. The old man and women, I assume that they are retired officer and his wife. It takes me a while before I leave a room, I know that I told that I should focus on real problems and don’t let myself to think about useless things but one thought doesn’t want to leave my mind. The thought that I what I have seen just a second ago was a real love.

You see both of them got shot in the head, but one hand of a man was garbing his wife's hand and the second was holding a gun near his head.

But there was only one pistol in the room.