I have to admit, I got much better mornings in my zombie apocalypse survivor career. My back hurts from sleeping in driver seat but it’s nothing if you compare it to my arm. Gunshot wound pulsate with a dull pain, last thing I remember before I fell asleep is changing bandage but when I look at it now, it’s soaked with blood. I guess I will need some stitches. My mood became even worse but it’s time to get to work.

On the back of pickup I find a plastic container with water and quite big cooking pot. Further inspection of stuff and I hit true jackpot. Having a car got a lot of advantages but most important one is, that you can collect and keep a lot of loot. Between bags and card boxes is one small touristic gas cooker. Excellent item, no smoke, burns in rain, absolutely amazing, if you only have easy way to carry it.

When water is finally boiling it’s time to clean the wound. It’s not the nicest feeling but it’s still better than everything that will be next. When my arm and wound is clean it’s time for bottle from my backpack. Steel military canteen is filled with 96% alcohol. Before I put a little bit on my wound I take one sip from bottle and another one. Here’s to us.

When burning sensation in my throat changes in to another burning sensation in my stomach, I feel ready. Ok, ok, I don’t fell ready but I need to do this. One quick movement and I pour a little of alcohol on my wound. The pain is sharp and strong but it lasts only a short moment. Easy part it’s done, now it’s time for serious business.

Once again I must admit, I was lucky. To be honest my wound is nothing serious but it still needs a stitches. Bullet just scratched my arm, it’s not deep but it is few centimeters long. Ok, it’s time to end what I have started. I take out small metal box from my backpack, it contains one of my treasures.

You see, one of a hardest things in zombie apocalypse is to loot hospitals. Almost all of them were zone zeros if we talk about massive zombifications. Think about it, big building filled with sick people. I bet my words will surprise you but most of people, who were at hospital’s when zombie apocalypse started were turned because of sickness but because of zombie bites.

What? What the hell I am talking about? It’s simple, think about, why am I wearing that whole police protective gear? I don’t want to get bitten.

Unfortunately survivors are immune to only one type of sickness but there is second one. I don’t really now but it seems that zombie saliva or blood or both of them makes sick even us and when you are bitten, the only way to save your life is quick clean cut to a bitten limb. What about zombie bites you in part of body which you can’t cut off? What can I say? Unlucky.

Back to hospitals. When one of patients became zombie it was fast way down. You see normally when zombie kills human, it will feast on it’s body but when there are so much humans laying around, their instincts are going mad. When it happens zombies are jumping from one human to another biting  and ripping flesh.

Like I sad before, hospitals are true hell. Closed space filled with hundreds of zombies. But with higher risk comes higher prize. In hospital you can find medical equipment that it’s not in drug stores.

So, my little metal treasure box contains goods, obtained in one of a raids on hospital. I don’t want talk about it, all you need to know that it was massive operation and I was working with group of survivors. Oh, and one more thing. Half of them died before we even got to the second floor.

I open the box, inside of it are few ampules of morphine, some antibiotics, painkillers and special needle with threads. I won’t describe how I stitched my wound. Doing it on my own body with only one hand, it’s not pleasant thing to do. You need to know that, when you forget about pain and blood it really easy thing to do. Just make sure that edges of the wound are put close and tightly. Now, only clean bandage and it’s done.

Ok, now its time to take care about other needs of body. Let’s make good use of a gas cooker while I can. It’s been few days since I ate a warm meal and even thinking about it makes me exited. It’s funny how people learn to appreciate a little things, when you take almost everything from them.

I am sitting next to the pot with boiling beans and a little bit of dry meat and I can feel how yesterday’s run overloaded my muscles a little bit. I guess I will have to make good use of that car I have stolen to make them rest for a while. I am worried about my localization. I am not really sure where I am, I don’t clearly remember the way I get here.

Right now, I am deep in woods, the risk that I will meet another survivors is low, but I am concerned about tire traces that my car left behind. It would be better if it was raining, it would cover the traces. Or maybe I just should be happy that weather is nice.

When my meal is ready, it disappears almost instantly in my stomach. The alcohol that I have drink before and warm food makes me feel much better.  I am even starting to think about going back to sleep some more, but it’s not time for this. Right now I need to take care about rest of my stuff.

You may wonder, if I am some psychopathic monster. Right now I am happily eating my breakfast but only dozen hours earlier I killed 5 man and took all their stuff, oh sorry, my mistake, 6 of them. The blood of the one, who was guarding a car is still on the windshield.

I could tell you some cliché line, that only monsters can kill monsters but I won’t. I believe that everything is a matter of perspective. People are changing to fit themselves to situations that are occurring and I can’t think about more demanding situation than apocalypse.

The moment when we, survivors, decided, that we will use this opportunity and survive, was the moment when we became obligated to follow new rules, rules that making our survival possible. I got one, good advice, forget about the past, it doesn’t matter who you were. Only important thing is what is happening right now and what kind of consequences your action will have in future.

So, I do what I need to survive. Sometimes things end up well and nobody is hurt, but sometimes nothing is going right way and things get nasty like yesterday. You may ask, couldn’t I handle that situation differently? Of course I could but it doesn’t matter right now. Remember, the past should be only source of experience, material to learn from. But past shouldn’t have influence on your future decisions, it only should give you more options to choose.

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So, why I killed those guys yesterday? Don’t judge me, just think about it as me. Right in that moment, I was on the top of what single survivor could achieve. I got guns, food, meds. If I surrender to them, in best scenario, I would end up on the bottom again and my survival would be more unknown then before. If things would end up badly, would laying there instead of them.

Think about it, if I would give up, when I could fight and win, my survival would be pointless. I believe the hardest thing to do, when you face world as broken as my, is to find yourself a goal. It’s first and hardest step, but don’t worry because next one is simple. Do anything you need to achieve your goal and don’t hesitate or you will end up dead.

The goal I have choose for myself is obvious.

Survive.

And I believe, it’s only right one, I have seen many people who wanted to be hero, to save the world, to build society once again and guess what? They are all dead, because path of survival wasn’t their way, because they were still living the past. Things I do may be harsh and brutal but this world is harsh and brutal too. Don’t blame me, don’t judge me, think about how you would choose one my place. If you would do something different than me, you would probably end up dead. Trust me, I now what I am talking about.

It seems that, I end up little philosophic. You have to forgive me, sometimes it just happens. With my stomach full and with pain in my arm on reasonable level, I need to make my mind. I decided earlier ,that I will use car for a while, of course I won’t drive main roads, it is just asking for trouble.

With little help of map, I am able to, at least approximately, find out where I am. With all stuff I collected and everything I found on the back of pickup, I will be able to spend week in wilderness. It’s funny but I feel like for me, gathering food became easier than in the first days of apocalypse. I guess it’s matter of experience and things I have learned.

There is another thing that you won’t even notice, if you won’t think about it. I became hot, I mean three years of constant fighting for life changed my body in the way I wouldn’t expected. This whole running with heave backpack, tough diet left my body almost without gram of fat, only muscles. Seriously I look like a Greek god, of course if you forget about scars and I got quite few of them.

It wasn’t always so nice with a lot of food and medicines. First weeks were worst, I didn’t really understand what was happening and I didn’t know what to do.

Let me tell you about my first encounter with another survivor. It was also my first situation that I had to kill a man.

It was about week after I buried my parents. They were living in country, they weren’t farmers, they just live there.( escape to the country and stuff like this). Like I said before, it was almost week and I didn’t have anything to eat. I was seriously scared to walk outside but finally hunger has changed my mind.

About 300 hundred meters down the street where my parents lived, was small convenient store, nothing special but it got most things that you may need. So, I armed myself with axe which my father used to chopping wood and headed out to the store. Fortunately streets were clear, problems started when I heard that someone is inside the store. I was ready to turn back and run when front doors opened.

It was one of neighborsi didn’t really remember his name but I know that face. In his one hand was large bag full of food, in second was large kitchen knife. I almost wanted greet him but when I saw his eyes, somethin inside warned me about danger. It were eyes of mad man, hard to describe but you will know, what I am talking about when you see one. I didn’t took even a second when he thrown down the bag with food and charged at me.

I almost ended up sliced like a fish but he stumbled and fall on the ground. In the next second he stood up and charged at me once again. I don’t know what kind of thoughts were inside my mind but I took my axe and hit him. With surprising trajectory axe struck into his head.

Who knows, why he attacked me? Maybe he became crazy after his family turned in to zombie or he was just greedy. I don’t know why he did it, but I know one thing. That situation showed me how world will look like in the future and what I will need to do, to survive. After I took my axe from his head, I collected all stuff I could find in  the store and went back to my house. I left his body right where he feel. I wasn’t playing in to burying corpses anymore.

When car stops, I am precisely where I wanted to be. Zombie apocalypse helps you learn how to use map. Right in front of me, river flows, it’s not big maybe about ten meters wide but it’s spring so water level is pretty high. All you can see around me are trees, to be honest I didn’t leave forest even once, it’s easier to stay out of trouble that way. And by trouble I mean people, people with guns.

I must admit, roads weren’t in best condition, in three years without a car they became little messy but car got 4 wheels drive, so it wasn’t that bad. Weather is nice too, maybe its not hot like in summer, but sun is bright and sky is cloudless.

You may wander, what am I doing in such a place?  I don’t really know. I am sure, I will find something interesting to do. To be honest I got perfect idea right now. I only need to find hazel tree.

It take me almost 15 minutes to find hazel tree but fortunately it got all I need. With knife I cut long and straight branch. I am sure that some of you already know what I am trying to do. All I need now, is something from my backpack. Another 5 minutes and I got nice fishing pole. What, are you surprised? Weather is nice, I am in good mood and even if I don’t catch anything it won’t matter, I got all time in the world and I can waste it, like I want.

And by the way, Zombieland Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things.