Chapter 8

Why?

When I woke up, my head was hammering. The room was too bright, the light piercing through the curtains like the sting of a thousand tiny needles. Blinking through blurry eyes, I realized I had no idea where I was. This was definitely not my hotel room. I looked down and noticed I was wearing a man’s shirt, a deep green fabric that smelled faintly of earth and something sweet. Who undressed me? Who had I let take me back to their room?

The sheets rustled beside me, and the warm weight of someone beside me made my heart race. I stiffened, only to feel a wave of relief wash over me as I recognized the familiar face of Saxon. I exhaled shakily and allowed myself to sink back into the soft pillows. Thank the stars, I thought. I thought I had spent the night with Kira again.

“Morning,” Saxon’s voice rumbled, warm and husky. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m sixteen again,” I muttered, rubbing my temples. “Is this what a hangover at thirty is supposed to feel like? I only had one drink. Maybe the bluehaven gin isn’t what I had been used to.”

Saxon chuckled, and I felt something tighten in my chest—a pang of comfort and familiarity. This is what it was supposed to be like. This is where I belonged.

I had known Saxon since we were children. Mum had always wanted me to be some delicate fairy princess, but Dad had pushed for something grittier—a mechanic, someone who could wield tools as deftly as magic itself. I had chosen the mechanic path, which led me straight to Saxon Whitney, the son of our local blacksmith. He had been my closest friend until the day Kira arrived in town. I don’t know when it happened—when I stopped loving Saxon and started loving Kira—but I could tell you it was the worst mistake of my life.

“Please tell me I didn’t do anything embarrassing last night.”

“You didn’t do anything embarrassing, you came straight up with me after your one drink,” Saxon said, a small smirk playing on his lips.

Relief washed over me. But then the questions came rushing back. “Oh, gods. One drink is all I need, did I say anything?”

Saxon hesitated, running a hand through his hair. His messy, dark waves had grown longer—much to my dismay. I had always liked them short, but right now, I couldn’t deny that there was something… irresistibly magnetic about him. My heart fluttered. Stop, I scolded myself. Stay focused.

But I ignored the warning bells in my mind and threw the blanket aside. Without thinking, I climbed on top of him. His surprise was palpable, but as his hands instinctively slid to my hips, something within me—some long-buried part—surged to the surface.

This was where I was meant to be.

I kissed him with a ferocity I hadn’t known I had left in me, a deep, desperate need. My hands tangled in his hair, tugging him closer, as if this moment would undo all the years of regret. Saxon’s hands gripped my hips tighter, pulling me closer as the kiss deepened. The magic in his touch was undeniable, sparking something within me that made my toes tingle and my body hum with an energy I hadn’t felt in years.

But then, as if on cue, a loud knock on the door broke the trance.

“Saxon! You in there? Have you seen Lisa?” a voice called from outside.

“Hang on, I’ll meet you downstairs,” Saxon muttered, voice low and thick with frustration.

“Sweet as.”

“Fuck,” Saxon cursed, pushing himself off me.

I sat up, heart still racing, and walked into the adjoining bathroom, unable to face him. Not yet. I threw on the dress that had been hanging on the back of the door and quickly left, avoiding Saxon’s gaze as I hurried out of the room.

Damn it. I had messed up.

I rushed back to my hotel room, hoping no one would notice my frazzled state. But when I walked through the door, I was met with knowing looks. The boys were already set up, laptops open, looking at me like I had committed some great offense.

“Well, well, well. Lisa Paul, doing the famous walk of shame,” Rico teased.

“Shut up,” I snapped, though my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Laughter followed me as I rushed to shower and change. There wasn’t time for this. My work wasn’t going to do itself, and if I didn’t focus, my cover—my entire reason for being here—would be blown.

We worked for a few hours in tense silence. The air between me and the boys was thick with something unspoken, and the weight of what had happened loomed over me. Then, just as I was losing myself in my work, there was a heavy knock at the door.

Rico glanced at me. “Boss, he says he’s here for you.”

I looked up from my laptop, my heart sinking when I saw Saxon standing in the doorway. Shit.

“Saxon, hi. What can I do for you?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

“Are you busy?” His tone was cautious, almost too careful. “I was hoping we could talk. Maybe over lunch?”

“Yeah, sure.” I hesitated for a moment, glancing at the others. But something about his presence felt urgent. I need to talk to him. Right now.

“Actually,” James interrupted, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just got off the phone with reception. There’s a group of reporters downstairs, asking for you.”

I froze. “What? Why?”

“Maybe because of this.” James turned his phone toward me, showing a news article.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

I scrolled through it quickly, my blood running cold as the title caught my attention.

Portsmith To Forgive Ex-Wife

Word has reached us, that the once magical couple gone bad, have finally rekindled their love and marriage. A source has told us that Kai Portsmith is willing to look past the accused allegation of Miss Paul's cheating. Kai Portsmith himself has told us, they are now looking past their issues and are willing to work their marriage out.

I couldn't bear to read the rest of the article. Of course, he still wanted to control my life, even though it had been six years.

"When was this dated?"

"Two months ago"

"But why are the press acting now"

"Maybe because of this"

There on the screen was a picture of last night. It was the start of the night after the raffle had been drawn. I had been dolled up and was walking through the casino with Saxon on my arm. I hadn't realized someone had taken our picture. Fuck. I twirled around to face a bewildered Saxon. I guess while he has been famous, he has not once been in the whirlwind of bad press. My phone rang and I didn't even bother seeing who it was, before picking it up and putting it on the loudspeaker. I threw it on the table before I threw it across the room.

"What?"

Now, is that any way to speak to your ex-husband?

"What do you want Kai? You've lasted six years not talking to me, why do you think you have some say in it now?"

I told you to stay away from Bluehaven and to stay away from those boys. I warned you about what would happen and look what you've done.

"Now is not the time for your mind games Kai. You might have been able to control me the years ago, but you will not be able to control me now"

Picking up my phone, I threw it as hard as I could across the room until it ended with a satisfying crash against the wall. I walked over the window, contemplating if it was high enough to kill me. Leaning my head against the window, I could see the reporters that were lingering around the back of the building. There was no way I was getting out of this building without someone knowing.

"Boys, book your flights home. James, you're in charge until I return. I think you've got enough to write a story. Contact Wyatt's PA to organize an interview via phone"

"What about you Lisa?"

"Unfortunately, if I don't finish what I came to do, I think I will end up jumping off the top of this tower. Come on Saxon, I believe I need a bloody drink"

I grabbed my jacket and my work phone before heading towards the elevator. The ride in the elevator down to the lobby was awkward and quiet. I don't know if it was from our heated make-out session this morning or because of the heated conversation I had with Kai. Once the elevator doors dinged open, I gripped onto Saxon's hand to pull us through the throng of reports.

"Lisa Paul, are you now dating Saxon Whitney?"

"Is the article about Kai Portsmith true?"

"Are you really getting back together with your ex-husband?"

"What are you doing back in your hometown?"

"What's your relationship with Poppy Carter?"

The last question caught my attention, but I didn't have time to think about it. I spotted a parked cab and pulled us into it.

"Gwen's Cafe please"

The ride to Gwen’s Cafe was quiet, the kind of silence that settled like a thick fog between us. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Saxon, not after everything. Not after what had happened this morning and the mess that I had created. My mind kept replaying that kiss, the way his hands felt against my skin, the way his touch had sparked something in me I thought I had long buried. But there was no room for that right now. Not when I had to focus on surviving the fallout of my life spiraling out of control.

I kept my gaze fixed out the window, watching the blurry cityscape rush by. The sun had started to climb higher, casting a warm glow on the streets, but all I felt was cold. My fingers tightened around the cup of coffee I had ordered when we sat down at the cafe. The steam rose in soft tendrils, a stark contrast to the storm raging inside me.

Saxon finally broke the silence, his voice low and steady. "Lisa, we need to talk about what happened. This—this thing between us this morning… it wasn’t nothing. I don’t think it can be."

I closed my eyes for a moment, bracing myself for the inevitable awkwardness, the “what does this mean?” conversation that we both knew was coming. Part of me wanted to scream at him to forget it, to pretend it never happened. But another part—the part that was still aching, still craving something deeper—wanted to hear him out, wanted to let the words spill out without filter.

"Do we?" I asked softly, barely looking at him.

Saxon’s hand slid across the table, reaching for mine, and despite myself, I didn’t pull away. "Yeah, we do. This is bigger than just last night, Lisa. You’ve been avoiding me for years. But now... now it’s different."

I could feel the heat from his palm warming mine, and I hated how easily I wanted to lean into him. But I couldn’t. Not now. Not like this. "I don’t want to complicate things, Sax. I’ve been through enough, and—"

"Don’t you dare say it’s too late," he interrupted, his tone rising just slightly, then falling back to that hushed rasp. "It’s never too late, Lisa. And I’m not going anywhere."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing. I wasn’t used to this from him—this vulnerable, earnest side of Saxon. It had always been so easy for me to brush him off when I needed to focus on Kira, or when my guilt over the mess with Kai kept me from seeing what was right in front of me. But now... now I didn’t know how to walk away from the very thing I had run from for so long.

"How do we even begin to fix this? Fix me?" I whispered, staring into my coffee, but my mind was on everything else—Kai’s voice echoing in my head, the reporters outside, the shadow of my past that loomed too large. "I’m a mess, Saxon. You don’t need this in your life."

Saxon squeezed my hand gently, and I finally looked up at him, meeting his steady gaze. "I’ve known you long enough to know you're not broken, Lisa. You're just... lost. But I’ll help you find your way back, if you’ll let me."

My chest tightened. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to let go of the fear and the self-doubt that had kept me locked in a cage for so long. But I didn’t know how. How could I trust anything again, let alone someone who was as tangled up in my past as Saxon?

"I don’t deserve your help," I said quietly, my voice trembling. "I’ve hurt too many people, including you."

Saxon leaned forward, his voice a soft murmur, just for me. "You deserve happiness, Lisa. You deserve to stop carrying all that weight around. And if you need to do that with me, then I’m not going anywhere."

I took a deep breath, my fingers tightening around his. For a moment, everything felt still. It felt like a decision was hanging in the air, just waiting for me to make it.

"Okay," I whispered, unsure of what it meant, but knowing it was a step I couldn’t take back. "Let’s figure this out. Together."

Saxon’s face softened, the weight of everything he had just said settling between us. "Together," he repeated, the word feeling like a promise.

I laughed before I started to cry. I haven't cried in front of Saxon since I was a little girl. Dad said something about crying, being too girly and that boys don't like girls who cry. I also haven't cried because of Kai in such a long time, it seemed silly to cry over him. He wasn't going to break me this time. I will not succumb to his mind trick again.

"Are you alright?"

"Is it too early to start drinking?"

"It's never too early when you're Saxon Whitney"

I laughed at the silly grin on his face. He wiped my face with some tissues, pinching my cheek slightly, which only made me want to cry more. I got a text from the boys, saying they had booked a flight home for tonight. I texted back that I would not be there to say goodbye, and I also sent a boss text to let them know what would happen if the story wasn't published before the deadline. Saxon gripped onto my hand, as he pulled me into another cab. God, I really did need another heavy drink. Bluehaven was starting to turn me into an alcoholic. Again.