Chapter 11

What is this feeling?

“So I know how you managed to stay away from me, Poppy,” I said, my voice steady but carrying the weight of unsaid things. “But how did you manage it, Saxon?”

Saxon’s eyes darkened for a moment, his silver pupils narrowing as he thought. He wasn’t the type to talk about his past freely. In fact, I knew it haunted him. “I released my grimoire, the one I spent years researching. Once it was bound in the Sapphire Vaults of Shellcove, I knew the tides of fate were shifting. It was only a matter of time before someone found it.” His tone was quiet, filled with a certain gravity. "I moved there afterward. I didn’t want to be near Bluehaven. If I stayed, I might have crossed paths with you—and I couldn’t risk that."

I swallowed, the memories of Bluehaven heavy in the air between us. The city we had once called home, now a place of shadowed ghosts and broken promises.

“We all tried so hard to stay away from you,” he continued, his voice thick with regret. “I think it was hardest for Kira.”

“Mmmmm,” I muttered, not wanting to talk about him, but unable to fully push his name from my mind. The betrayal still lingered like a dark mark on my soul.

Saxon looked down at his hands, the runes etched on his skin catching the light from the lanterns. “I thought you’d return to him.”

I snorted bitterly. “If Kira thinks I’ll return to him, after everything he did to me, then he’s sorely mistaken.” I shook my head, feeling a familiar, twisting ache in my chest. "Take me back to my hotel room, Saxon. Let’s leave this mess behind." I hesitated. "See you later, little sister."

I kissed Poppy’s forehead, watching her drive away into the swirling mist, and then Saxon drove me back to the hotel in silence. The air around us crackled, charged with the weight of so many unsaid things. I could feel the pressure in his silence, the way he wanted to ask me questions but couldn’t bring himself to.

When we reached my room, Saxon followed me up the narrow stairs that led to the quiet, candlelit hallway. He seemed reluctant to enter, his posture tense as if uncertain of his place in my world anymore.

I swiped the keycard through the enchanted lock, and the door opened with a soft, melodic chime. I stood in the doorway, watching Saxon’s indecision. I could see him holding back, his usual confidence clouded by something else. Something more personal.

“Come on, Saxon,” I said, pushing the door fully open. “Ask what you need to ask. You’re making me mad with all this silence.”

He blinked, stepping inside hesitantly, his boots clicking softly on the stone floor. He stood by the door, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other, like a stranger in his own home. The sight of him like this—so unsure, so far from the warrior I remembered—stirred something sharp inside me.

“What happened between you and Kira?” he finally asked, his voice low, almost tentative.

I stiffened, the question like a brand across my chest. “You know he betrayed me, Saxon. Just before we met Kai.” My eyes flickered to the window, the dark skyline of the city beyond now just a faint silhouette. "When I found out, I was already carrying his child." I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms.

Saxon’s expression twisted in disbelief. “You were pregnant… and you kept it all hidden?” His voice cracked, as if the weight of my confession was something he wasn’t ready to carry.

I bit my lip as Saxon ran a hand through his wild, silver-streaked hair, the faint hum of magic crackling in the air around him. His fingers tugged at his hair, like he was trying to ground himself in reality, as if something was holding him back. His gaze shifted to my lips, darkening, but still, he didn’t move. Something was stopping him.

It wasn’t just distance. It was something older, something deeper, woven into the very threads of our bond.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” he asked, his voice a low, gravelly whisper, as if he’d been carrying the question for far too long. "I was your best friend, Lira."

I swallowed, the weight of his words pressing down on my chest like a spell I couldn’t break. The silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. Finally, I whispered, my voice trembling with the weight of all that had passed. “I thought I had lost you... because I had chosen to love Kira instead of you.”

The words were like daggers in the quiet, but I couldn’t stop them. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, Saxon. But pushing you away? That’s the one thing I regret the most.”

Saxon didn’t move. Not at first. His expression softened as his eyes met mine, filled with that familiar mixture of pain and longing. And then—finally—he stepped closer, closing the space that had always been between us.

His hand reached up, his fingers brushing against my cheek, so light it felt like a whisper of wind. The spark that passed between us was immediate, like an old spell awakening, one we had forgotten but that still thrummed beneath the surface. My breath caught in my throat as warmth bloomed through my skin, and I closed my eyes, unable to resist the pull of his touch.

His fingers slid down, trailing over my skin with a softness that made my heart race. It was a touch that felt like magic, ancient and potent, as if we had always been meant to be like this. His thumb brushed over my lips, and I felt my body react to him—every part of me aching to be closer, to be engulfed in him.

I stared into his eyes, trying to get a sense of what he was thinking. His lips finally touched mine and my body blew up into pieces. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his body close to mine. Saxon moaned into my mouth as he pushed us towards the bed. Finally.

____________________________________________________________________________

Saxon’s POV

I slipped out of her bed, the heat of her still lingering in the air around me. Every step I took felt surreal, like I was walking through a dream I was afraid would vanish if I didn’t keep moving. My clothes felt heavier than usual as I pulled them on quickly, every motion sharp with the tension I had tried to ignore for so long. The night had been... indescribable, but I knew I couldn’t stay. Not now.

She would hate me in the morning. I was sure of it. We’d crossed a line—one that could never be uncrossed—and I wasn’t sure how to face her when the sun rose. But for now, I needed air. Space to breathe. To let the elation sink in and not let the regret consume me.

My heart was still racing, though, and I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. Happiness. It felt foreign, almost impossible after all that had happened. But now, it was there, tugging at me like a warm glow. I didn’t want to let go of it.

As I made my way back toward the casino, I tried to steady myself, to clear my head. I couldn’t let anyone see the way I felt—too vulnerable, too open. I needed to hide this newfound joy.

By the time I reached the stairs, the last thing I expected was to run into someone. But of course, the moment I stepped upstairs, I found Crystal sitting in the main room, reading to Kira, her voice lilting in the silence. She looked up as I approached, the soft glow of the hearth reflecting in her eyes. For a second, I wished I could stay hidden, wish I could slip past them unnoticed. But Kira had already spotted me, and I saw the flicker of curiosity in his gaze.

“Crystal, honey, why don’t you go finish this in your room?” Kira’s voice was gentle, but the undertone was clear—he had something to say to me. “I need to talk to your uncle.”

Crystal, ever the cheerful spirit, didn’t hesitate. “Alright. Night, Uncle Sax, night Dad.” She flashed me a bright smile as she skipped off down the hall, her little footsteps light against the stone floors. The sound of her joy reminded me of Lisa—when she used to run through the halls like that, her laughter filling every corner.

I swallowed hard, my chest tightening at the memory.

Once the door clicked closed behind her, Kira’s gaze shifted, sharp and probing. "Where have you been?" His voice was calm, but I could hear the underlying tension in it, the way he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

I shrugged, trying to keep my own face neutral. “With Mrs. Paul, Poppy, and Lisa. Just checking in.”

Kira’s eyes narrowed, and I could see the question before it left his mouth. “Did she talk about me?”

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I hesitated, fighting the urge to avoid the subject. I could tell he was eager to know, but I wasn’t sure how to answer without feeling like I was betraying something. “No,” I replied, the word leaving my mouth sharper than I intended.

“Damn.” Kira ran a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable. “Why won’t she talk to me?”

I exhaled slowly, stepping closer to him. "Relax, man. She’s just gotten here. Give her time. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready."

His eyes flicked to mine, suspicion lingering in them, but he didn’t push further. Instead, he leaned back against the wall, staring into the fire. The silence that followed was thick, but there was something unspoken between us—something about the weight of the past and the way it hung over us both.

I couldn’t help but think about how things had changed. How much had shifted between all of us—especially with her. The night we had shared felt like the beginning of something... different. Something that could either break us all apart or bind us together.

The problem was, I wasn’t sure which it was yet. And that uncertainty gnawed at me, gnawed at the edges of the happiness I was trying to hold onto.

Kira’s voice broke through my thoughts, pulling me back into the present. "But when will that be? Crystal knows she’s here, and she’s always asking when she’ll meet her mother. I can’t hold her back forever."

His words hung in the air, thick with urgency. But the way he said mother made my blood run cold. I rolled my eyes, the irritation bubbling up before I could stop it. He had Crystal, had raised her for ten years, and yet he still couldn’t see the truth.

She wasn’t his. Not in the way he thought.

Lisa had managed to keep the secret from him—barely—but she never hid it from me. I’d known from the beginning. Lisa and Kira were always so careful, but even in the silence between them, I could see the gaps, the fractures that never healed. Crystal’s magic, her lineage—it was there for anyone paying attention. For someone like me who had seen Lisa’s secrets before they ever had a chance to take root, it was easy to see.

But Kira? He still couldn’t see it.

The way his face twisted into a frown made me suppress a smirk. It was like he was blind to everything right in front of him. I wasn’t going to make it easier for him either.

He crossed his arms, watching me closely. “What are you hiding?” His voice dropped, a sharp edge now slicing through his words.

“Nothing,” I replied, but the word felt hollow as it left my mouth. I couldn’t stop the sly grin that tugged at the corner of my lips, though. There was something almost satisfying about watching Kira struggle with the truth, even if it wasn’t the one he was expecting. I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.

His eyes narrowed, and I could feel the tension rising between us like an invisible barrier, thick with unsaid things. But I wasn’t ready to break yet, not for him. Not now.

"Come on, Sax," Kira muttered, stepping closer, his frustration growing. "You’ve always known more than you let on. Tell me. What’s going on with her? Why won’t she talk to me? Why does she avoid me like the plague?”

I leaned back, letting the quiet fill the space between us. I had to tread carefully. Pushing Kira too far could unravel something far bigger than just a misunderstanding about Crystal.

But the thing was, I didn’t owe him any explanations, not after everything. Not after how many times he’d ignored what was right in front of him, how many times he’d walked away when I needed him most.

I let the silence linger a little longer before I finally said, “Relax, man. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready. You can’t rush her. You never could.”

Kira’s frown deepened, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he turned back to the fire, the flames flickering in his eyes like a reflection of the storm brewing in his mind.

I stood there, watching Kira’s frustrated expression, the tension between us crackling like a live wire. He was so close to figuring it out, to realizing what I already knew. But for now, I needed to hold the line. He wouldn’t get the truth from me—not yet.

Kira was stubborn, always had been, and he wasn’t one to easily let things go. I could see it in his eyes—the edge of desperation, the flicker of magic that seemed to rise in him as the night grew older. It was like the room itself responded to the unresolved emotions between us, faint pulses of arcane energy pushing against the walls, testing the limits of the space.

"Don't play games with me, Saxon," Kira muttered, his voice low, like he knew something was amiss. "This isn't just about Crystal. This is about Lisa. About everything that’s been hidden.”

The faint hum of power in the room made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. He didn’t realize it, but his magic was stirring, intertwining with the invisible threads of the world around us. Kira had always been drawn to the dark side of things, and that was his downfall. Magic was never just a tool; it was a living, breathing thing, and it always had a cost.

I shook my head slowly, stepping back. “You don’t understand, Kira. There’s a lot more at play here than you realize. But it’s not time to talk about it. Not yet.”

Kira didn’t back down. He was stubborn—too stubborn.

“You’ve always hidden things from me. First Lisa, then your damn book, and now... this?” Kira’s eyes glinted with something dangerous, his magic seeping into the air around us, thick and heavy. It felt like he was testing my limits, trying to see if he could break through whatever I was holding back.

The flicker of power in the room grew more intense, and the temperature dropped a few degrees. It was like the atmosphere itself was reacting to our conflict.

I took a deep breath, letting the magic settle around me. I was well aware of the shifting currents, but I had something else to focus on tonight—something more important than Kira’s demands. I didn’t want him to see me like this, exposed and vulnerable, but I couldn’t hide it anymore. The world was shifting, and I was right in the middle of it.

Suddenly, the door opened again, and the soft chime of the bells above it rang out, breaking the tension. I turned to see Lisa standing there, her eyes wide and glowing with an inner light. The moment she stepped into the room, the air seemed to shimmer, like the very atmosphere around her recognized who she was—what she was.

Kira’s gaze snapped to her, and I saw the recognition in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel the waves of magic that radiated from him. His power was raw, untamed, like a storm building just below the surface.

Lisa was the only one who could calm it.

I stepped aside as she moved toward the center of the room. There was something about the way she walked—like she was tethered to the world, yet somehow beyond it at the same time. She was the storm and the calm, the spark and the control.

"Lisa," Kira said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re back. But why... why didn’t you come to me sooner? Why didn’t you come home?”

Lisa’s eyes flicked over to him, her face unreadable. She took a slow, deliberate step forward, and as she did, the room seemed to shimmer once again, the very air bending around her. Her magic was alive now, radiating from her in soft waves, pulling at the threads of reality itself.

“I was never meant to be home, Kira,” she said, her voice calm, but edged with power. “My home is not what you think it is anymore.”

Kira’s face paled, confusion and fear flashing in his eyes for the briefest moment. But his magic didn’t waver. He was a stubborn one, just like always.

“You’re not the person you were when you left,” Kira said, the words full of accusation, tinged with an anger that seemed to deepen the magic surrounding him. “You left me behind, Lisa. You left all of us behind.”

Lisa didn’t flinch. Her gaze never wavered as she looked at him. “And you, Kira, you never understood what was at stake. Not then, not now. I had no choice. I had to do what I did.”

A silence fell over the room, but the tension only grew heavier. I could feel it, the raw magic in the air, thrumming and pulsing like a heartbeat, filling the space with its weight. Lisa’s presence was a powerful thing—strong enough to make even Kira hesitate.

“Your choices led to this,” Kira said, his tone sharp now. “You think you’re above it all? That you can walk away and leave everyone else in the dark? We’re family, Lisa!”

Lisa's gaze softened for a split second, but only a split second. She took another step toward him, her magic lashing out like tendrils of shadow and light. “I don’t belong to the family you think I do, Kira. My bloodline isn’t just yours. It’s older. And it’s more dangerous than you could ever imagine.”

The air seemed to crackle at the words, like the world itself was holding its breath. I could see Kira’s mind racing as he processed the information. His hands trembled slightly, and for the first time in years, I saw doubt in his eyes.

“What are you saying?” Kira whispered, his voice barely audible now.

Lisa didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she raised her hand, and the room seemed to shift again. The lights flickered, casting shadows that danced across the walls like living things. The space around us moved, twisted by her power. And for the first time in years, I felt the ancient magic that had once been a part of her. The magic that had been locked away for so long, now rushing back to the surface like a flood.

“I’m saying,” she said, her voice low and steady, “that I am no longer the girl who left. I’m something else now. Something... older.”

Kira’s eyes widened, but he said nothing. He just stared at her, his heart racing as his own magic pulsed through him in uneven waves.

“Get out,” Lisa said softly, her voice carrying an edge of finality. "I have things to do. You don’t belong here, Kira.”

For a moment, there was silence—then Kira’s magic flared, a flare of dark power that nearly knocked me off my feet. But Lisa didn’t flinch. She just stood there, the room pulsing with her energy, keeping him in place.

Kira’s face twisted in frustration. "You’re making a mistake, Lisa. This isn’t over. None of this is over."

And with that, he turned and stormed out, his footsteps echoing in the hallway.

I exhaled, feeling the magic settle around us once again. The room was still, but the echoes of the magic Kira had stirred remained, buzzing in the air like a low hum. Lisa’s eyes met mine, her expression softening.

“You should’ve told him the truth,” I said quietly, my voice breaking the silence.

“I couldn’t,” she replied, her voice tinged with regret. “Not yet. It’s not time.”

And as she spoke, I realized that time was something she had in abundance. And Kira? He didn’t have nearly enough.