“We never did get around to discussing the quest,” Phil muttered to himself later that night. He wrapped a towel around his waste as he stepped out of his shower and left the attached bathroom into his main room. Flopping onto his couch, he grabbed the PlayStation controller off the coffee table and started scrolling through the menu on his TV. After studying the quest notes all afternoon and researching succubae the rest of the evening, he needed to unwind.
He paused in his scrolling as he thought about Reese. He didn’t know what was bothering her, but he wanted to help her somehow. He was just at a loss as to how. If she refused his company, like she’d done for dinner, then there was nothing he could do. It had been a lonely night for him. Rose had just smiled and said she was busy, and Britt was working out so hard in the gym that she was actually red in the face and wouldn’t even look at him. So, he’d eaten by himself in the library. It’s true they didn’t always have meals together, but it had been a long time since no one was available.
“Maybe an online game,” he said to himself, reaching for his headset. If he couldn’t find any company in the house, then he’d find someone online to chat with.
The door to his room suddenly burst open and Reese came running in. She stared at him for a second, red in the face and chest heaving beneath the tank top she wore for bed.
“You’re alright!” she said incredulously.
Phil stared back, very conscious of how much skin was on display in front of him. “Uh, yeah. Totally fine. What’s up?”
Her eyes narrowed as she suddenly realized what had just happened. “That little-”
“Phil!” cried Britt as she ran full bore into his room, bare feet sliding on the carpet as she came to stop.
“He’s fine!” called Reese, looking at Britt.
Phil stared at both women, completely baffled at their sudden entrance. The two were dressed for bed, and Phil’s mind was about to overload. Reese in her boy shorts and tank top, Britt in running shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt that had shifted enough to reveal a hint of sideboob. He suddenly became very aware that he was only wearing a towel, and unfortunately the girls became aware of it at the same time. He wasn’t quite quick enough to hide his body betraying his thoughts to them.
“Oh,” said Britt in wonder.
Dropping the controller and planting his hands in his lap, Phil stared at them. “What’s going on ladies?”
Rose’s head popped in as she grabbed the door handle. “You three need to talk. Tonight.” Then she slammed the door shut, enclosing the three of them in the room together.
“Rose!” yelled Britt as she stalked towards the door.
“The little bitch hoodwinked us!” muttered Reese.
“Uh, hello?” said Phil, still confused.
“Rose you open up this door right now!” yelled Britt as she banged on the door in question.
“No!” came the reply. “I already told you two my feelings on this earlier.”
“And we made an agreement!” yelled back Reese.
“No, you made an agreement! I said I was ok with it being just you two!”
“Holding the door closed isn’t going to help you, Rose! You know I can just go through the wall!” bellowed Britt.
“This isn’t fair, Rose! You tricked us!” Reese stomped her foot, looking absolutely adorable in Phil’s eyes as she did so.
“Um… I just going to put on some pants while you guys sort this out, ok?” The girls paid him no attention as they continued shouting through the door at each other. Grabbing his sweatpants off his bed, he made his way to the attached bathroom and slipped into them.
“Rose, I’m giving you to the count of three, then I’m coming through that fucking door,” declared Britt.
“One.”
“You can rip through this door anytime you want!”
“Two!”
“But you need to ask yourself…”
“Three! Better move or you’re gonna get hurt!”
Phil stepped out of the bathroom quickly, wondering if she really would destroy his door.
“…do you really want to?”
Britt froze. The tension in the air was nearly suffocating. Both Reese and Britt stared at the door. Rose continued.
“You two are the sisters I never had. Nothing would please me more than to see the two of you happy. My happiness will come in time, but I refuse to sit back and watch you torture yourselves in the meantime. If you’re worried that I’m going to go through what you did watching us, I can assure you that’s not the case. I don’t feel the way you do about him. So, don’t hold yourselves back on my account, I beg you.” Her voice was cracking near the end of her speech, and it was clearly having an effect on the the two inside.
Britt and Reese looked at each, then glanced back at Phil, who was finally starting to realize what was happening. No way, he thought. Uh uh. This is not really happening, is it? This only happens in cheesy stories.
“If there’s one thing we should’ve learned in the last few years, it’s that things can change quickly.” Rose was sobbing as she finished. “Never pass up a chance for happiness, because tomorrow everything could change.” The door opened slowly, giving them a view of Rose walking back down the hall before entering her room.
“She really is something else, isn’t she?” said Reese.
“A huge pain in the ass is what she is,” sighed Britt as she stepped into the doorway.
“Britt?” asked Reese, a note of worry in her voice. Britt smiled over her shoulder at Reese before pulling the door closed. She then turned and faced Phil, leaned back against the door and blushed.
“So… there’s something I need to tell you.”
Reese’s face lit up like a beacon as she hopped around to face him as well.
“Yeah, me too. You may want to take a seat, stud.”
*
Rose tiptoed down the hallway, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. She’d stayed up late the night before, ears straining for footsteps down the hallway after she’d left Phil’s room, but she’d heard nothing. No one had passed by her door at all while she’d still been awake. As soon as she’d woken up that morning she’d leapt out of bed, thrown on her robe, and quickly trotted down to Britt’s room at the end of the hall. The door was still flung open from when she’d bolted out the night before, and Rose could clearly see the empty bed without entering. Trying to muffle her squeal of excitement, she quickly made her way down to Reese’s room. Her door had been similarly flung open and her bed was as equally empty.
“Both!?” she whispered in astonishment. “I guess he is fully recovered. Still, I didn’t think Reese would go for that.” She chuckled to herself. “As long as they’re happy.” Feeling proud of herself for forcing the issue, she tiptoed towards Philip’s door at the other end of the hallway. She tapped on it lightly, not wanting to disturb anyone who might still be asleep but warning any who might be awake of her presence. She got no response to her knock.
Must’ve exhausted themselves last night, she thought to herself and giggled. Slowly, she opened the door and poked her head in, eyes heading right for the bed, expecting to see a mass of limbs and skin. The bed was empty though. In fact, it was still made. Confused, she pushed the door open wider and looked around the room, her eyes falling on his couch and she suppressed a burst of laughter.
All three were still just as dressed as they had been last night. Philip was in the middle of the couch, his legs resting on his coffee table, head thrown back and snoring lightly with his mouth open. Reese was curled up to his left like a cat, her head resting on his thigh and a peaceful expression on her face. Philip’s arm was resting on her waist and she had interlaced her fingers in his, holding on as if she thought he’d disappear on her. Britt was tucked up under his right arm, her head resting on his shoulder while his hand held her shoulder in return. Rose couldn’t help but grin at the trail of drool running down Philip’s chest from Britt. She could relate to that herself. As she watched them, a pang of grief hit her as she remembered cuddling with Bruce like this. Something flared inside her as she looked at the man now surrounded with love and she momentarily saw red.
She shook her head. They’d fallen asleep talking. It was adorable. No need to ruin it. She quickly pulled her phone out from her robe pocket and took a picture of them, making sure to send it to each of them. She heard Philip’s phone buzz on his nightstand, then a very loud ringtone went off. Startled, Rose quickly fled the room, barely getting the door closed before she heard movement inside. As silently as she could, she made her way downstairs. She felt like making breakfast for everyone this morning, and she knew just what she wanted to make.
*
I can’t move, was Phil’s first thought on waking up. He’d thought he’d heard his phone go off, but he wasn’t sure. He was awake now, though, and that meant his body had certain priorities that needed to be taken care of. Unfortunately, he was pinned in place. Turning his head to the right brought his cheek in contact with a mess of red hair. Looking down, a mess of blonde hair covered his lap.
“So that wasn’t a dream,” he softly said to himself.
“What wasn’t a dream?” Reese said sleepily as she stirred. He moved his arm so she could sit up, but she refused to let go of his hand, creating an awkward seated dance as she tried to crawl out from under it. She was forced to relinquish her grasp briefly when she realized their hands were incapable of bending certain angles, but quickly reinserted her hand into his again as she sat up. He caught a glimpse of crease marks on her face that matched similar creases on his sweat pants, but they were quickly hidden when she cuddled into his shoulder. “Did you mean this?” she said. “If it’s a dream, don’t wake me up.”
“Too early to talk. Go back to sleep,” Britt muttered. She snuggled into Phil’s shoulder for a second before she froze. She suddenly sat straight up, her eyes wide as she wiped at her mouth. She glanced at her hand, then looked at his chest. “Oh god,” she said, turning a bright shade of crimson.
Reese smiled. “Mornin’, drooly.”
A horrified look came across Britt’s face, and Phil couldn’t help but smile. He told her there were towels in the bath and Britt nearly ran to it. She was about to close the door behind her, but then decided to throw a towel at Phil before she did. It only made it halfway across the room before losing steam and falling to the floor. Before Phil could move to get it, Reese had already left his side. Retrieving the towel, she walked back, sat sideways on his lap and started toweling off Britt’s drool.
“It’s a wonder she isn’t dehydrated,” said Reese. It really was an impressive amount. “Well, it’s good to learn about these types of things right away, right?”
Phil blushed, thinking back to the night before and the long talk they’d had after both women had confessed their feelings for him. Two girlfriends? This can’t be right, can it? Am I allowed to be that selfish?
As if sensing his thoughts, Reese cupped his face and looked him the eye. “Hey. You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
“What? No! I’m just… is this really alright? It seems kind of selfish, doesn’t it? Having two girlfriends? It doesn’t seem fair to you two.”
Reese chuckled. “Those would be second thoughts, my dear, and no, we don’t think it’s selfish at all. We approached you, remember? It was our idea to share you, not yours. Well, if I’m being accurate, it was Rose’s idea, actually.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Rose?”
The bathroom door opened and Britt stepped out. She’d obviously made an effort to tidy up her hair and look somewhat presentable. “Yeah,” she said, having heard them talking. “That little pain in the ass. You heard her last night, didn’t you?” She flopped down on the couch and ran her fingers through his hair, appreciating that she was finally able to show her feelings. “Part of me wants to beat her senseless, but a bigger part of me wants to wrap her up in a bear hug and never stop saying thank you.”
Phil shook his head. “I don’t know what you guys see in a dork like me, but I’ll do my best to make you both happy. You’ve helped me out so much since we met, I would love spending the rest of my life paying you back.”
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Britt’s eyes widened. “It hasn’t even been a day and you’re already talking about a lifetime?”
Phil shrugged. “We’re bound for life anyway, right? May as well make the best of it and start this with the knowledge that we’re stuck with each other.”
Reese smiled. “Well, he’s already shown us that when he commits to something, he’s all in. Why should this be any different?” She locked her blue eyes on to his green ones, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I will definitely take you up on that offer, my love.” She brought her face to his, hesitated for the briefest of seconds as she licked her lips, then locked them on his for the first time. Her eyes closed as he hesitantly kissed her back, then she inhaled through her nose sharply as he committed, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. They separated after a few seconds and stared into each other’s eyes, then Reese, hands still cupping his cheeks, turned his face towards Britt.
“Want some?” she asked.
Britt’s hand suddenly went to her mouth and she gave a quick shake of her head. “Morning breath,” she said. Reese shrugged and smirked.
“More for me then,” she said as she started to turn his face back to hers. Britt’s hands were suddenly pushing hers out of the way, pulling him awkwardly under Reese as she clamped her own lips on his. Phil’s eyes went wide for a second at the aggressiveness of the kiss, but then he smiled at the attack, closed his eyes and attempted to return the kiss with the same energy. She released him after a few seconds then sat back, breathing heavily. She stood up, her legs wobbly beneath her before she stabilized.
“I’m going to go get ready for the day. We, uh, still have a job to do after all. You two should do so as well.” She made her way to the door and pulled it open, glancing back at Phil, a blush and a smile blooming on her face before she fairly skipped out of the room.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so…”
“Girly?” Reese finished for him, smiling at the other woman’s departure. “You know, I don’t think I have either, to be honest.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You’ve made a new woman out of her. She’s right though. Things to see, people to do and all that.” She got up from his lap and stretched her arms in to the air above her head. The movement exposed her belly and Phil couldn’t help but stare. She dropped her arms and made her way to the door, also pausing like Britt did. She blew him a kiss, then left, closing the door behind her. Phil wanted to just sit and daydream about the situation he found himself in, but his body urgently reminded him that he had things to do, and holy hell did he have to pee!
About twenty minutes later he exited his room, dressed, refreshed, and relieved, ready to start the day. He made his way downstairs and entered the dining room, a bit surprised to find all three women had beat him there. Rose looked to be teasing Britt mercilessly, while Reese was shoveling food into her mouth. Taking a seat, he said good morning to Rose, who positively beamed at him.
“Eat up! I can always make more!”
Finally taking a look at the table, he was a bit surprised to see only one item on the menu.
“Pancakes?”
“Pancakes!” Rose said cheerfully. “It’s the official food of harems, isn’t it?”
“Uh…” Phil didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.
“Where’d you hear that?” Reese asked around a mouthful of food.
“Read it in a book somewhere,” Rose answered.
“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’m more of a waffles person anyway,” grumbled Britt as she reached for more. “Does two women equal a harem, anyway?”
“Wouldn’t it be more of a love triangle?” asked Reese.
“I thought that was when two people were competing for one person. We’re sharing him.” Britt answered.
An evil grin spread across Rose’s face. “Oh? Who gets to sleep with him first?” she asked as she took a bite off her fork.
The other three at the table froze. Phil stared at his plate, waiting to see what the girls would say.
Britt and Reese stared at each other, mid chew, eyes wide, neither one daring to speak first.
Rose giggled. “See? Love triangle.”
She’s supposed to be the nice one! thought Phil.
*
“Oh no. Whatever shall you do?” MB said flatly. “Two beautiful women are arguing about who gets to sleep with you first. What a travesty.”
“Oh, shut it,” grumbled Phil, careful to keep his voice low in the suit. “It never occurred to me that it might be an issue.”
“Why would you? All you saw was two gorgeous women hanging off of you. It obviously didn’t occur to them either. If I may offer a prediction?”
Phil shrugged, or tried to anyway. “Sure. Why not?”
“Knowing them, my money is on you sharing a bed with Reese first, but no sex for a while. She’s still recovering from my…” the voice trailed off briefly. “Anyway, that’ll happen. Britt may join you later, or more likely they’ll alternate, but she’ll be hesitant about fooling around. She’ll be worried about the obvious strength difference between the two of you. I know this may sound counterintuitive, but I recommend a gentle touch with her.”
Phil’s forehead furrowed in confusion. “Gentle? I figured she’d be more of the rough and tumble type.”
“Truthfully, so did I, but since I’ve got nothing better to do in your head, I’ve been observing her around you. I’ve never seen her act so feminine before. She usually puts up such a strong front, well, like a tank rolling into battle. Now, occasionally, a soft side peeks out. She steals glances at you when she thinks you’re not looking. She blushes like a schoolgirl. She was worried about morning breath this morning. When has she ever cared about something that trivial since you’ve known her?”
Phil thought about it but couldn’t remember anything like that before. “Huh,” he grunted in realization.
“Also, I think you have a physical effect on her as well. No, not like you’re thinking, Casanova, although I wouldn’t entirely discount that either, now that I think about it.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“Remember when you put her through the coffee table, and she bitched at you because she landed on the candle? Swore she could still feel glass under her skin and that you owed her a new sports bra because it was cut and bloody?”
“Yeah…” Phil answered, not sure where MB was going with this.
“That didn’t strike you as odd in any way? Earlier that very day you watched bullets bounce off of her like they were plastic BBs, but that afternoon she gets cut by glass?”
Phil’s eyebrows shot up under the helmet. It hadn’t occurred to him at all to think of that. MB was right. The woman was bulletproof, so why had the glass cut her?
“Because she let down her defenses against you. It’s a literal manifestation of you bringing out her softer side. Frankly, I didn’t think such a concept existed, but there you have it.”
“This isn’t going to affect her in the field, is it? I’d hate for her to get hurt just because she has feelings for me.”
“Nah. It should be fine. She’s all business when on the job. Anyway, that’s my recommendation for her. Treat her like a woman. We both know she wants to be treated like an equal professionally, but have you ever met a woman that didn’t enjoy being complimented on her dress or being wined and dined like a princess?”
“You’re asking me that?”
“Right, forgot. Well, you’ll figure it out. You’re a smart fella. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, what else can I help you with? I can’t imagine you’d actually hide in your suit in the armory just to avoid the debate about your bedfellows.”
Phil smiled. Of course the voice knew why he was here, but for some reason wanted Phil to voice his thoughts and concerns. He couldn’t figure out why but played along.
“It’s about the case the guild master dropped on us. I don’t suppose you remember much about the case that would be of use, do you?”
“Not enough to be of any use, I’m afraid. Apparently having a post driven through one’s head affects their short term memory. Who knew?”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Come on, man, we’ve been over this. It was an accident!”
“I know. Just fucking with ya. Hmm. Remember how I told you that my room was pretty much a shrine I dedicated to myself? Well, I liked to keep notes about what I was doing. Guess I thought I was going to write a memoir someday or something. I’m sure my notes are still sitting on my desk where I left them. There should be something in them about the last quest I was on. I doubt there’s anything in them that Rose didn’t already have though. She was much better at the research and investigation side of things than I was.”
“So should I not even bother with them? I know you don’t want any of us going in there, and I’m reasonably sure no one’s been in there that I’m aware of. Say no and I’ll forget I even brought it up.”
MB was silent for a moment. “You know,” he finally said, “I can’t really stop you if you want to go in there. So why haven’t you?”
“Because you once said you didn’t want me to,” Phil said, sounding as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“Hm. It really is no surprise those two fell for you. The ghost of the asshole you killed asks you not to invade his privacy and you agree to it as a matter of course. You’re something else, you know that?”
“I’m just me, MB. The man I killed is dead. Accidental or not, he’s gone. You, as you have been since we’ve met, have been nothing but helpful. Bit of a smartass at times, but mostly helpful. I have no reason to think you’d steer me wrong for any number of reasons, not the least of which would be that if anything happened to me, you’d be shit out of luck as well. So honoring the only two things you’ve asked of me is an easy trade off. I’ve kept out of your room and haven’t told the girls of your existence in my head. Tell you what: forget I asked. You’re probably right about Rose knowing more anyway. Her notes were pretty extensive.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it. What time is it? I need to start training for the day. Wish this thing had some sort of HUD like Iron Man has.”
“How should I know what time it is? If you don’t know, do you think I would? I’m trapped in your head, remember? If I had to guess, I’d say it’s close to ten, maybe.”
“Alright, good enough, I guess. I’m going to go see what the girls want to work on today. Now where’s that stick at? We really need to find a better way for me to get out of this suit on my own.”
“Have you considered contacting Jonas? He designed it, after all.”
Phil stopped his rummaging in the armory and nearly slapped his helmet. “No! Why haven’t we thought of that before? Why didn’t you bring it up before?”
“Because until recently your only thoughts were about using what you had to get stronger and tits. Frankly, I was enjoying the show.”
Phil wasn’t listening, however. He was already making his way to the dining room, the last place he remembered seeing the women. That’s where he found them as he skidded to a halt, the metal feet of his suit screeching on the tile, but no one seemed to even notice his entrance.
““Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!””
““Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!””
““Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!””
Phil retracted the helmet of the suit and just stared. Reese and Brittany were both leaning over the table with determined looks on their faces, engaged in one of the most intense games of rock, paper, scissors he’d ever witnessed. Rose looked up from the match and saw him, smiling widely.
“Hey!”
Clomping over to her side, he leaned down next to her head.
“Um… is this what I think it is?”
Rose nodded vigorously. “Yep! They’re trying to settle the ‘who goes first’ question. Best seven out of ten. Reese is leading with five, but only by a single win.” She laughed almost maniacally. Her behavior was so out of character Phil actually took a step back.
“Are you sure you’re not actually a villain or something?”
To his surprise, she shrugged. “Isn’t everyone someone else’s villain?” She looked back and chuckled at his expression. “I’m kidding. I’m just enjoying the show. Do you know how long it’s been since the house has been this much fun?” She got up and hooked her arm in his and pulled him away from the table. When she thought they were far enough away from the action, she stopped and stood in front of him. “I know I don’t always show it, mostly because I’m still working through a lot of things in my head, but I can’t express just how grateful I am for you.”
“Uh…” Phil said intelligently.
“Wait, there’s more. I have to be honest with you. There’s a part of me that hates you. It’s a small part, but it’s there. Even though I know there was no saving Bruce, you robbed me of the hope that he could’ve been.” She held up a hand to keep him from speaking. “I know it’s completely unreasonable. I even know it wasn’t actually your fault. I just wanted to lay it out on the table for you. Now that I’ve said that, I want you to know that you are also one of my most precious friends right now. I know it sounds weird to say that right after telling you that I hate you, but we women are supposed to be complicated, right? I haven’t seen those two have this much fun in years, and it’s all thanks to you. So if I seem like I might be enjoying this a little too much, you’ve only yourself to blame. Their happiness is mine, and one day, hopefully, that’ll help the hate pass.” She leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for being you,” she whispered in his ear.
““Hey!”” Britt and Reese yelled when they saw Rose lean in to Phil.
“You said you weren’t interested!” said Britt.
“If you’re changing your mind you’re automatically at the end of the line, ya know,” said Reese.
Rose laughed, looked at a blushing Phil, then laughed harder. “No!” she gasped out as she made her way back to her chair. “You’ve got the wrong idea. I just wanted to say something to him in private.” She buried her face in her elbow on the table, shoulders rocking with laughter.
Britt and Reese looked at her for a second, doubt written on their faces, but then they faced each other again.
“What’s the score?” asked Britt.
“Six to five my lead. Next win is mine!” Reese said ferociously.
“We’ll see about that. Ready?”
““Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!””
“Fuck!”
“Yes!” Reese jumped in victory, her scissors beating Britt’s paper. She bounced a couple times before racing around the table and leaping at Phil, her arms and legs wrapping around her armored torso as she planted a victory kiss on his lips. He quickly moved to support her with his hands, then silently cursed that he was in his armor and unable to feel her ass in his hands. “You’re mine tonight, buddy,” she purred.
He smiled as he stared into her sparkling eyes. “Looking forward to it,” he said. He couldn’t help but think back on MB’s words earlier, however. She’ll be the first, but no sex. She’s still recovering. Well, if that’s how it turned out, then that’s how it turned out. It had already been well over a year for him. He could wait longer if she wasn’t ready.
Still wrapped around him, Reese turned to look at Britt. “He’s all yours tomorrow, babe.”
Britt stood there, arms crossed and smirking at Reese. “What if I just take him while we’re training today? He’s already suited up, so he’s obviously eager for some grappling time.” A look of shock crossed Reese’s face. Her jaw dropped and eyes went wide.
“You would forsake the ancient laws of rock, paper, scissors?”
Rose still had her head buried in her arms, giggling uncontrollably. Britt tried to maintain a smug expression on her face but couldn’t hold it and started laughing as well.
“I wouldn’t allow it,” offered Phil, chuckling himself. “The laws of rock, paper, scissors are inviolable. Tempt me she may, but I am yours to do with today.”
“Aww. Look at you being all poetical and stuff,” Reese said, finally releasing her grip on him and sliding back down to the ground. She thumped his chest with a couple knuckles. “What’s with the supersuit? Were you expecting something more violent than a children’s game?”
“No, actually. MB is surprisingly easy for me to bounce ideas off of, so I jumped in to see what could be done to improve the suit a bit.” No way am I going to admit that I was looking for advice on women from it, he thought.
“Oh?” said Britt, her laughing fit petering out. “Did it give you any ideas?”
“Yeah, actually. Do any of you have any idea how to contact Jonas?”
“Whoa, slow down there, hero,” Reese said. “You still haven’t even completed a quest yet. You want to run straight to Jonas and start making modifications without any actual experience to base them on?”
“Um…” Phil scratched at the side of his face with an armored finger. “When you put it that way…”
“She’s right,” said Britt. “On top of that, you’re still not even using that suit at its full potential. You should master, or at least become more proficient, with the basic model before changing things up. Hell, it’s only been a month since we discovered that thing even was a suit. I think we should focus on higher priorities right now and come back to this later.”
Blonde and brunette heads nodded in agreement, forcing Phil to give a defeated smile. “Alright, ladies. I defer to your more experienced wisdom. Can someone get me out of this thing so we can discuss our strategy for this succubus mission?”