ARDOSUS

I mostly carried myself out of the hospital, but Unga kept insisting that he help. To be honest I’m grateful for his kindness, it’s just my troops they’ll see that my body’s failing me and I can’t have that. I’m supposed to radiate certainty, not illness.

We walked onto the gangplank that led up to my warship, Unga struggling to push my weight. A soldier walked up extending his arm to grab my shoulder, I growled out of instinct. “S-s-sorry my Queen.” He quickly ran back to his post, everyone staring at me for a little, but they understood. We slowly made it onto the main deck, as I began panting from exhaustion, every fiber in my body aching. “Let's get you to your room.” Unga spoke with urgency, as he ushered me along. I stumbled in through the door of my quarters, which seemed to have been converted into a medical facility, while I was out. The bed replaced with an adjustable one, a nightstand laying next to it, harboring an army of painkillers and antibiotics. I stumbled forward a little, as Unga urgently directed me to my new bed. I collapsed onto it, the sound of the air exiting the mattress, reverberating throughout the entire room. I groaned as the pain finally subsided, allowing me to properly rest. “I could've gotten you a wheelchair.” Unga said, I remained silent, as I knew this was going into a lecture. He then rolled my limp body over, which was impressive considering my weight. “Can I get you anything?” he said gently, soothing me a little. I guess he’s not going to lecture me.

“My files, are they here?” I asked, he seemed to exhale a little before going off to look through my desk, bringing out the bursting folder, laying it before me. I opened it to the first set of documents, barely making out any of the words. Their meaning all but vanishing, as my head could only think about the pain and exhaustion that I had put myself through. I put the pages down, as I stared up at the ceiling, hoping that I would be able to recollect myself and I was able to, slowly ever so slowly. I brought my head back down, bringing my eyes towards Unga, his concern noticeable. He then got up, walking towards the door. “W-where are you going?” I said, catching a slight stutter just before it became noticeable. Just stay here with me, it’ll be nice a-and calm. “Don’t worry, I’m just going to find something to pass the time.” He left the room, everything falling silent, dead even. I raised the bed so I could see out the window, waiting for his return.

I lifted the top of my shirt below my shoulder, to inspect the damage that was done to me. I want to rip these things off, return to how I was before, I want this damn stress to end so that my people know that I will not fail. I slowly began to feel like my lungs stopped working, and like clockwork I started tapping one of my fingers on the mattress. Am I afraid, t-there's nothing to be afraid of. I sat on it deeply analyzing the feeling, but the more I did the more frantic my thoughts became. I had to force myself to stop. Unga then walked past the window, I inhaled, feeling the air enter my lungs normally and my mind calmed itself, as a sense of safety found me again. I lifted my shirt back over my shoulder, as the opened the door, Unga carrying in some sort of board game. Chess I think, such a waste of time, did he seriously leave me here alone, just to get that. He laid it on the bedside and immediately started setting up the board. I wanted to knock that damn thing off, my wish then partially granted as the second he placed a piece down, the boat departed from the dock, the movement causing a piece to tip it over, a small amount of pleasure falling upon me seeing a little defeat dispatched upon this game, but he kept going. I stared up at the ceiling not wanting to be a part of his childish games. “Wanna play.” He said, I looked at him. “No,” I stated coldly. “You do realize that we’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean.” he responded, a smirk going across his face. I went back to the ceiling. “Come on you can’t do administrative work because of how mentally taxing it is, on top of that you can’t walk around, so instead of looking at the ceiling all day.” I kept looking at the ceiling zoning him out. I can’t think. Processing the world around me is hard enough. What good will this do, it will just fry me even more. I then heard the echo of the last piece being placed, I shot a glance down. Unga, taking notice of my gaze, moving a pawn. I won’t be taken by your temptation. We stared at each other for what felt like hours, and then I raised my hand fine, I’ll humor you this time and moved a horse shaped piece. “Oh can't move that there, knights can only move in a L shape.” I paused, moving my body so I was hunched over the board, moving the piece correctly. A series of games then played out, resulting in many humiliating defeats. I cannot believe I did this, especially with the amount of games we played.

Why did I subject myself to such a long fruitless task, every time I thought I had him a flood of pleasure and excitement burned through me, how can one get so ramped up with these things, it’s just a children's toy. “Well ready for another.” He asked, with a tired tone. “No, I’m exhausted.” I said, he nodded. “Yeah we played hard, gotta say though you put me in some tight corners.” I looked at him in disbelief. “You can’t say that you dominated every game.” He shrugged. “Can’t deny you made me think harder.” he added, with a bright smile warming my heart. I then took notice, to the outside, seeing that it was basically midnight. “What the.” I said as my eyes widened, Unga laughed, at the pure shock I was displaying. “What can I say, time flies.” he said, my body relaxing as tiredness began to turn to sleep. “Hey you look calmer.” Unga commented. “Yeah, I feel it too.” I replied as Unga raised the covers up to my chest. “See, Having a little fun isn’t all bad.” I exhaled out of shame. “But it makes time become nonexistent” I responded. My eyes closed and everything became black, only to awake to the sound of my door being opened by him again. The morning sunlight splashed across his back, as Unga stepped forward holding cards, dice, and a couple board games strapped under his shoulder. I could get angry, but it’s hard for me to pretend that I didn’t like this, that I didn’t find some sense of pleasure and accomplishment, besides. I looked at my massive folder barely being able to make out half of the documents in it, I can’t really do anything administrative at the moment.

Unga sat by my side with his brightening smile, placing the items onto my bed. I lowered my eyes a little, the creases of my mouth raising, it wasn’t enough to notice, so I didn’t try repressing it. “You're a terrible smiler.” He said, teasingly. I flinched. “That is not for you to see.” He giggled, continuing to open up a board game, time then began to melt away, as the ship went along the sea, with every dice roll, every card a time of joy, even though I lost all of them, and as the nights passed, I felt like I was in a completely new body, as my tail healed faster and my mind became sharper, but this will end when I finally return home as my duties will call out for me and I will answer.

I looked out the window, seeing the snow wip by. Has it really been two days, it’s felt like a few hours. I looked back down at the board, Unga still in the lead, but I can pull thru. He moved his piece one space ahead, as he swapped the turn over to mine. He only needed one more to wrap this game up. I played the card I had been saving for this exact opportunity, moving ahead of him, holding my breath all the way to the finish. “Well done Ardosus.” He shouted in celebration, as this was the first time I’ve beat him at anything. I let out an excited exhale, as he smiled. A guard then walked in, seeming to be at a loss for words. “What.” I said switching to my commanding tone, he scratched the top of his helmet. “Oh, ha ha. Yeah, we're coming into port.” He then bowed and walked out of the room. Unga looking out the door just as it was about to close, I slowly got out of bed, my body still aching from our encounter. Unga, taking notice, immediately coming to my side. “Wanna look outside.'' I said he nodded as we stepped over to the door walking outside, the cool crisp air gently brushing against us. I stared at the giant pure white snowflakes as they fell, shame that Unga can’t see the beautiful color of these ice crystals with those eyes of his. “It’s so cold.” He said, shivering a little. “You see” I replied, he chuckled a little. “Hey, I haven't dropped dead yet.” He said, a laugh echoed in my head, as I looked out ahead of us seeing the port in the distance with people already crowding the docks, another journey put to a close. Unga then stood next to me, already hunched up. “It seems our arrival is welcomed.” He said, I nodded. “My people believe in my abilities and I am thankful for that.” I said, staring at the crowed as it continued to get bigger by the minute. I then brought my attention back to Unga, who looked as if he was freezing half to death. I hastily walked back into my quarters, grabbing two coats, and returning back to Ungas side, placing one coat over me and the other over Unga, the pelt completely covering him like a comically large blanket. He eased up a little, as he looked up at me. “I think you’ve proved your point enough.” I said as he nodded while giggling, but as a strong breeze blew past, he flinched, hunching himself up even more. He’s not going to last out here long, an idea then came across my mind, an idea that would solve this issue immediately. I know he doesn't want to be turned on, but the other option is much worse. I placed him under my coat. “W-wait are you sure you want to.” He muttered, I looked at him with certainty. “I’m not gonna let you freeze out her Unga.” he nodded, seeming surprised. “It’s just I know you have an image.” He said. “I do not see how this hurts it, in fact, isn’t this showing the trust between us.” He sighed. “No, it’s nothing, just a stupid thought.” I knew what he meant, he shouldn’t worry though, I can quickly push away the imaginations of those people.

The boat then came to port, allowing us to disembark, and for the first time people weren’t locking their eyes onto me instead they stared at Unga, their whispers audible. “is that a child,” “with how that boys cozying up to her you’d think they were mates,” “foreigners should never have been allowed her, look how they attempt to corrupt our queen.” “Well can't wait for the news to milk this dry.” "Ardosus is a good queen, I just wish, she see foreigners for what they are." Along with many other comments ranging from unsure to opposing, to indifferent. We continued to walk, Unga obviously paying mind to the comments. “Unga do you want to know what the first rule of being a leader is.” He looked up at me, his shoulders sagging a little. “Don’t mind the skepticism.” He nodded with as much enthusiasm as a scolded child, the carriage then arrived and we approached it, entering the old thing, choosing to sit across from one another. Unga opened the window, looking outside, while his foot tapped rapidly on the floor. “I just want to make sure I’m on good terms, since it’s not my land.” I joined him in looking out the window, trying to see what he was focusing on, his foot bouncing faster as the people stared in. The carriage then began to move forward, there must be a way to calm him down. “Unga the people, including the dissenters, trust my judgment, even if they don't express it.” He nodded but with a little hesitation. “I’ve seen people tear officials apart back in my nation weather for good or for not, so your words and I’m sorry to say this have little assurance with me, no offense.” He slowly spoke with burdened words, as he continued staring out the window, his foot slowing down a little. He isn’t wrong, people don’t really care much for words of authority when it comes to personal beliefs, especially when so many wrongs have done to them. “It’s beautiful isn’t it.” He said suddenly, I nodded. “It gets boring when you wake up to it everyday.” He nodded, smiling. “True, hopefully though, you’ll spare me the lectures and allow me to roam.” He said, detecting a hint of desperation in his voice, probably hoping that I don’t trap him in the castle. I slowly looked over at him, with him doing the same. “As long as our schedules don’t conflict I believe we should be fine. Either way, I would like to accompany you on your journeys.” He jolted backwards in surprise. “Why.” He said. “You were nearly freezing to death out there.” I replied, trying my best to avoid the actual reason, he shrugged. “Yeah, but you could just assign anyone that position.'' I shook my head, just let me come along Unga. “I just think it would be nice to go along with you, you know, to explore my country a little bit.” He chuckled, probably not believing that's the case. I looked down at his foot, noticing that It had mostly slowed down. “Why didn’t you just say so?” The cry of a bird broke into our conversation, Unga responding by poking his head out of the window, staring at the flock flying through the sky, his face glowing with excitement. He's so funny to watch, always wanting to pounce on something whe has not yet seen.

We passed through the gate of the castle, Unga taking in our large battlements, and once we came to a stop, he took his eyes off the walls becoming fixated with the massive castle and its skyward tower that cemented its presence over the land. A few moments later he stepped out of the carriage, with me following. “I remember a painting someone did of this place.” He said, as I placed my foot on the ground, bringing myself out of the carriage, putting him underneath my coat. “I believe in a exhibition when asked about his experience in Glenchin he defined it as a country one would have to visit to truly capture its feeling.” I looked down, not understanding what he was saying. “Did this artist describe that feeling?” Unga scratched his head attempting to remember. “Calm, silent but the type of silence that lets you look inward.” I nodded. “I guess you feel that.” I asked, he shook his head. “No, but I understand the silence part, the place is like a waste land compared to the jungle, which only intrigues me on how species have adapted here.” He said, a gust of wind blowing into us. “Hey Ardosus, that your kid.” One of my soldiers yelled from across the yard jokingly, I shot a glare at him, as he retreated into his helmet. “Don’t mind their crude offensiveness.” I said Unga giggled. “None taken, I know soldiers like to joke, it helps take the edge off.” We then walked into my castle, entering the main hall which boasted plenty of heat vents allowing Unga to move more freely. He wandered around looking at the art work along with the many engravings carved throughout the room. “They say Glenchin artisans are generally highly skilled, I can now see why a lot of detail.” He said staring at a bust of one of my relatives, I walked up to it. “Old Geezer is what many of the soldiers called him toward the end of his life.” I spoke, he chuckled at the mere mention of his name. “Uncle.” He said. “No, great great grandfather.” I responded. “Oh.” he said, with intrigue. “He was very old fashioned, stuck to Ladronic warfare until he couldn’t.” He shook his head. “You’d think they would change tactics immediately, once volley fire became obsolete.” Unga added, I nodded. “Some people just don’t like change, he’s a prime example, but I guess that's how us Glencinites are. ” He looked at me. “So he’s a traditionalist.” I silently giggled, hiding the smile by inconspicuously covering my mouth with my hand. “No, the old fart shitted on youth like it was a sport. “Those lazy fucks don’t know how bad we had it back in my time when we had to raid to food stores, so our people could eat.” He would repeat that in tandem amongst other incoherent ramblings.” Unga laughed. “I can see why old geezer was his nickname, oh, that is rich.”

My sister then jumped down from the balcony above us, doing a flip and landing perfectly, as well as quietly. “Well, well, well, you didn’t say we’d have a visitor.” She said, walking towards him her hips swaying from side to side, her pace quickening with each step. The way her dress moved, this would poison the mind of any man. I raised my sword up between the two with my good arm, Unga then started backing away shaking a little. “Oh, I see off limits, shame his nervousness makes him cute.” She said turning to face me. I wanted to spit upon her feet, as her entire allure deeply upsetted me, especially how she was acting towards our guest and my student. “So who's the pretty boy” she said moving her arm up her thigh, letting it rest at her waist. “His names Unga, from the southern region.” He quickly broke his ghostly freeze, producing a short wave. She smiled delicately as if not to scare him, as she waved back, but I knew he could tell who she was. “Now if you’d excuse us, I must give him a tour.” I said. “Oh really.” She replied as she moved her lips closer to my ear, her soft warm breath soaking my inner lobe. “Funny cause I’ve been hearing how close you two were together down at the harbor.” I brushed her off. “Listen I do not care what rumors you heard, but whatever sickly construct of an image that you have malformed in your mind is not what me and Unga are.” I grabbed Unga by the arm, dragging him up the stairs of the main hall. She's useful, but damn do I hate everything about her. “She’s worse than a brothel woman.” Unga stated, I looked at him, what do you mean… have you. “Speaking from experience” I said, trying my best to hide the concern that followed. “They would try to coax me in, especially after the revolt. They were horrible.” I had a mini internal sigh, as I loosened my grip on his arm. Slowing down my pace, as we grew farther from the hall. “Just whatever you do don’t let her get to you, she even moves so much as an inch close to you, get me.” I spoke, I know what she's capable of. I don’t want him falling victim to one of her ploys, cause it would mean the end of the world if she followed my orders for once. “I will be sure that I’m careful.” He said with a slight quiver,

as the footsteps of my personal doctor filled the hallway the slight miss step from his bad leg, becoming more noticeable as he got closer to us. “Ardosus could I borrow you for a second, also bring the boy.” He asked, I exhaled palming my forehead. “I know he's an adult, just fucking bring him.” And we both began to take his lead. “That oversized jacket, not enough for ya.” He said, as we followed him down the hall. “No, the biting cold up here is far from what his race is used to, I don’t think any jacket would be able to keep him warm.” I said, the doc turned around, staring at Unga, obviously wanting to hear only from him. Unga just stared back completely oblivious to what the doctor was looking for. “Unga is that the case.” the doctor asked, as we stopped at the front of his office. “Oh, um yes.” He then opened the door to his office. “Ardosus first.” He ordered, I looked down both hallways making sure my sister wasn’t going to make a sudden appearance. “Don’t worry, I told the guards to shoo her away.” I looked back at him. “There royal right.” He nodded. “Most stern and stubborn motherfuckers on the block just as ordered, or would you like a stake with that too so they can burn her?” I walked in, leaving Unga outside as he checked his surroundings with care.

The door was then immediately shutting behind me, my muscles tightening as the doc grabbed my tail, the hairs tearing off easily. I turned to face him, as he fiddled with the hairs in his hand. “Ardosus” he said disapprovingly. “I know.” I replied, he then let out a long exhausted sigh. “Yeah you don’t know jack shit, which is surprising since your thirty-one, but I guess wisdom with age was a fucking lie.“ He then took a swig of whiskey. “Take off that coat, let me see those wounds.” I did what he asked, and he started taking off the bandages. “So how's the kid doing out there?“ I grunted as he called him kid. “Hey, I can kick you out right now.” he spoke, I sighed knowing that he wasn’t going to let me get away without answering, as long as he doesn't call him kid again. “Fine, he’s doing fine.” He smacked me upside the back of my head. “Details.” He added. “He’s a tad nervous of the peoples views, but that might be because of what his nation went through.” He nodded in agreement. “hmm good observation, anything else so I don't have to play twenty questions.” He asked. I shook my head “all I will say is this is a new place for him and it’s not like he got the warmest welcome.” The doctor nodded, as I felt his fingers run across my wound. “Why are you asking so many questions about him.“ I asked he looked up at me raising his eyebrow. "And when did you get so protective, about someone." He raised his eyebrow, as I looked away from a seconded, hoping to hide from his interrogation. “And when was the last time you invited guests inside the castle, of which you let stay and teach, hmm.” He answered. "Because it will deepen the ties between our two countries." He raised his eyebrow. "And your defensiveness to the kid." "Can you stop fucking saying that, he's nineteen, and is fully capable of making decisions." He stared at me, and I looked away, ashamed of how unbecoming I was. "Come on miss stick up your ass, spite it up." Why does he have to be a fucking can opener. "Because he deserves to be respected, he save my life, and... helped me... a lot on the way here." He then brought his attention back to the wound. “Yep, it sealed good.” He said, going over to his desk and writing things down in his notes. “But if there's one thing I’m gonna say about him, it's that he has more personality than you.” I turned around, my face harder than stone. “Are you just gonna keep shit talking.” I spoke. “Ha, I can’t tell you how many times I heard that, now get out and send that fucker in here.” My blood began boil, as I left. “He wants to see you.” I said, as Unga jumped back a little, a nervous shiver going down his spine. “O-okay” he said as he entered the room, calm down Ardosus, he’s just trying to get you going.

UNGA

I walked in closing the door behind me, the doctor sitting in his chair smoking a cigar, immediately making eye contact with me, he then got up, checking me over, sections of his neck covered in scars that were just barely visible. He towered over me like everybody else in this place, but I felt more intimidated by him than anyone else here.

“Well Ardosus is certainly protective over you, got all pissy when I called you a kid.” He said as he grabbed my eyelid, quickly looking over it, then immediately let go, sending the eyelid flying back into my eyeball. I didn’t express the pain. “Hmm.” He checked my skin. “Did I tell you you're a walking lube machine.” he asked, as he took his hand off my moist skin, I shook my head, as he continued. “Alright, one last attempt to make you say something. Do you have any hobbies?” He added. “Y-yeah, but you know prince and all.” I didn’t know how he’d react better just to down play it, he turned his back towards me. “How much do you care for it anyways.” he said, slightly turning his head to see me. “What, my hobby.” I replied. “Your duty fucktard.” I thought for a moment wondering if I should tell him. “I-I care about my people, but I don’t care for it much.” I said, he nodded. “Good, your not like most of the retarded for the fucking crown bullshit, like those fresh cocksuckers from boot camp spout.” He revealed the hairs that obviously came from Ardosus’s tail, good at least the doctor has it on lock down. “Not a whole lot came off this time well a lot compared to last time, in fact, I had to tug a little harder.” He said throwing the clump in the trash. “Keep doing what you're doing.” He said while sitting down. “o-Ok.” I said a crack in my voice emerging. “Oh and be careful around here some soldiers, like fucking boypussy’s like you.” I felt a shiver run down my spine, as I walked out. Ardosus backing her head away from the door, probably had her ear lodged into wood, and as I looked at her, her body temp got even higher than before. My heart rate rose at the thought of just touching such a heat source but I didn’t. I need to refrain myself and purge all thoughts. She then stared at the doctor as he shrugged and closed the door in her face, the both of us continuing down the hall. --look back at this section--

ARDOSUS

One day I’m gonna have it up to here with that doctor. “What did you hear him say?” Unga asked. “He called you a boypussy.” I muttered. “oh yeah.” He replied I looked down at him with pity. “I don’t want them running you into the dirt.” I said this place can be rough to people, especially newcomers, he nodded. “I know, I understand but soldiers are people, and I kinda find the comparisons to a kid funny really shows the difference between us.” He seemed unshaken by their crude and brash humor he in fact I almost think he enjoys it, so easy going. I'm always self conscious about my appearance as well as the way I approach things. Some situations are insignificant and just rumors that are easily dismissed, others can be like wildfire, while few can be war causing one wrong tone, one wrong bump, can bring a house of cards crashing down.

Unga could see the worry in me, which only brought displeasure on myself. “Ardosus, come on don’t be nervous like I was on the way here.” He said “as your teacher and Queen of this land I have every right to be concerned.” I turned to look out a window watching the setting sun, he stopped too, continuing to look at me. “I wanna go out tomorrow into your city to get some ideas from the locals..” He said as he took off his coat, rolling up his sleeves so that the sun touched his bear skin. “Oh that feels good.” He said, rubbing his arms. “I’ve never been into that city.” he shot me a glance that seemed as if I had utter words of complete insanity. “You're telling me… and it’s safe to assume that you’ve lived here your entire life, that you’ve never been to the place that houses your people.” I shook my head, his look of shock then dissipating. “No, it makes sense.” He muttered. “How about this you come into town with me, and I'll show you what you're missing.” I sighed, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. “No, I should attend to matters here immediately.” He pointed his finger up. “On the contrary, the duty of the ruling class should be to ensure the citizens are living there best lives, so deal.” He extended his hand with confidence, and I shook it out agreeing with the excuse. To be fair one should see there people once in a while, and as our hands clasped together, the sun went behind a mountain, it's jagged earth body casting a shadow over the land.

“I guess it’s that time.” He said. “indeed, I’ll show you to your room.” I responded, he followed and I brought him to a secondary tower. “I hope you don’t mind your room being connected to the study.” I said. “Oh no, not at all” I smiled. “I had a feeling.” I happily stated, as I stopped outside the door. “It’s an old servants room. I sent a message ahead to have them quickly convert it to a room equipped for royalty, so I hope you find the decorations familiar and refreshing.” He nodded and I gently opened the two sturdy oak doors. Books covered shelves upon shelves, as each one was filled to the brim with thick heavy bounded paper, we walked by them, with Unga stopping for a few seconds taking note of the titles, even opening some up for a few seconds, until we finally made it to the end. I opened up another set of double doors revealing a lovingly furnished room, with a king sized bed along with an entire selection of artisan tools and workbenches. “Another reason for my selection is that this is the warmest spot in the castle, since it’s over one of the main vents.” he touched his skin “it’s humid.” he noted. “I made sure they took special precautions for that to, Glenchin tends to be a very dry place.” he nodded, smiling warmly. “I doubt I deserve this much special treatment.” he stated, touching a finely crafted chair.

“You saved my life Unga, not only that, I enjoy your company. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been so open to this idea.” he slowly picked his head up, a slight giggle following. “careful talk like that and more rumors will start flying around.” He teasingly said, the corners of my mouth gave a little. “Don’t worry this tongue always knows when not to talk.” He seemed unsure of what to say afterwards so he just smiled and nodded. “Goodnight.” I said he panicked a little. “Oh Ardosus.” I turned to face him, standing at the frame of the door. “I find you very pleasurable to be around too.” I nodded, such a shy little man,

I continued out of the study to my room, quickly climbing into bed. If this plan really does work, I’ll get to see more of my people's life, more than I already have. I wonder who I protect to be honest, well I do know but exactly. I stared up at the ceiling exhaling. I barely know anyone, just Carta and well, do I say Unga. I shifted to my side. I never really had the intention of doing this until now, I guess I wanna try new things. I mean those games Unga introduced to me, were intriguing even if Unga beat me… A lot, my tail shifted back and forth moving the covers violently, those days on the ship were fun just us two, plenty of time to kill. Maybe if this conflict, if this world could just stop for a moment we could go back to that. The kid that gave me the flower went through my mind, children, I wouldn’t be surprised if my mating season is almost around the corner with that thought, but that's only a pipe dream like I’ve said, I’ll end up like my mother just on the verge of menopause, beside I can't get distracted not know, this job requires focus.

UNGA

I looked around the study staring at the books, going through them, such a diverse set of knowledge in this room, it’s probably the most interesting study I’ve seen.

“Ardosus seems to have taken a strong liking to you.” The voice of Ardosus’s sister pierced the silent and calm atmosphere of the room. She caught me off guard so bad that I jumped into a bookcase behind me, in which some of the books collapsed onto my head. We stared at each other for a moment as she smiled, which on the surface appeared innocent in intention, but I could see the message behind it. “Just to let you know she might have welcomed you here, but this castle is my territory and I do not allow foreigners to just diddle daddle around.” she pressed herself against me, pushing me further into the bookcase. “And if you pony up to my sister like that again, I’ll ensure to put some extra spice in your food.” Her soft eyes turning to hard stone in a mere instant, then soft again. She smiled letting off, holding up my chin by the tips of her fingers, my body preparing to bolt to Ardosus, but I knew it was hopeless. “Understand boy.” She sweetly asked, I nodded. “Come on, don’t be shy, say it.” I swallowed. “Y-yes ma’am.” I said, she then released her hand from my chin. “Good boy.”

I took in a deep breath as my shallow breathing deprived me of oxygen and after a few more breaths of steady breathing, I felt ok. I brought my eyes to her, as she walked out, noticing the tiny daggers strapped to her thigh. Wait no, there are more sewing needles than daggers or maybe syringes. I don’t know I need to calm down, all I know is that they are sharp. She stared back at me knowing full well what massage she was sending, as she walked out the door.

I started picking up the books that had fallen, placing them back into their respective areas trying my best to keep my mind off the situation, but it kept plaguing my thoughts. I knew she had the means, but weather or not, she would actually do it is another question, thankfully as a diplomatic envoy I’m basically invincible right now, although if she makes it look like an accident, fear lodged itself into my head once more, as I felt my stomach drop. I should rest up, for tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll forget about this altercation.

I walked back into my room, with its comfortable heat and humidity. It's not bad, still nothing can beat Ardosus’s body heat, warm and soft, the perfect combination of comfort. My entire body then submerged itself into the bedding. It felt like I was on a cloud, my body quickly calming itself as I drifted to sleep, awaking soon after. I walked outside my room staring at the heat on the glass windows to my right, noticing a small mailbox with a letter in it. I was quick to open the small thing, as the letters package bored my fathers name. “Dear Unga. I hope your trip went well, and that Ardosus isn’t giving you too hard of a time. I also wanted to notify you that your map has been copied, your people thank you Unga. You’ll make a fine leader in the future, I'm sure of it.” I wanted to rip that bottom sentence right out, I don’t want to be a ruler. I've seen the atrocities they’ve caused. I want to be me. Stress and dread washed over me, hopefully in the future I can escape it somehow. I crumpled the letter back into the little box as anger, and fear consumed me from even imagining myself at a position of authority. Yeah, I'll figure out something.

ARDOSUS

I heard someone yelling outside, then the crashing of my doors flying open. I slowly raised my dead body, as I was pretty much still asleep. “Ardosus.” The general said, as he rushed over to me, nearly tripping over himself. I grunted, trying my best to regain mental composure. “The generals are holding a meeting without you.” he claimed, my mind went from a haze to immediately focused. “What, why?” he sighed. “They wished for you to not have any more worry, they know what is becoming of you.” He said. “And what do you think of it” I asked. “I think it’s wrong, you have every right to know, we mustn’t look away from what must be done.” I quickly arose. “Get out I’ll meet you down there.” he nodded and hastily walked out of my room, rage building up inside of me. Don’t my generals know the consequences that this could bring upon us all? We mustn't break the chain of command. I replaced my gown with armor, as I walked up to my bedroom door, crashing through them in a fit of rage. The sound traveling throughout the castle with a thundering roar. My two royal guardsmen who were stationed just outside backing away a little but remaining firm. I began my walk over to the war room every step, sounding like an earthquake. I hope they enjoy this meeting because this might be their last, there's gonna be a hand out of some harsh punishments for this. A headache then started to form in my head, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was for this charade to end. I soon made it to the war room, the guards outside the doors immediately backing away. I pressed down on the handle, and it let off a distinctive click signifying that it was locked. I backed away a little feeling my airways open up, my heart beginning to beat faster. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I slammed down on the door with my foot, breaking the wood holding the lock in place, walking into the now dead silent room. Every general staring at me, some boar expressions of horror, others were impressed, while some were angry.

“Ardosus!” One said in shock. “Alright who the hell told her.” Another said. “EVERYONE, SILENCE.” I shouted my voice roaring throughout the room. “WHO THE FUCK ORGANIZED THIS!” I yelled, a general stepped forward. “It was I.” I brought my fierce eyes upon him. “Continue with the meeting then. I will speak with you when you are finished” I aggressively commanded, he nodded, going back over to the war table, which featured a highly detailed map of our nation and the surrounding regions. I walked up to it, placing my hands onto the oak rim, pressing down so hard you could hear the wood begin to crack. The generals beside me backed away a tad as to hope they weren’t caught in some brutal rage induced injuries. "As many of you know the army at our border still hasn’t departed, no matter what kind of soft power action we have taken, so the commander of the region, is moving his troops back to more defensible positions, if and when they cross. A village to one of our major flanks has also gone dark, whether or not this is… Hegnis GET THAT FUCKING THING OFF OUR TABLE!” The general shouted as he took notice of a file on the map, obviously taking his rage from my arrival out on him. “Sorry sir.” He said. “Nobody cares about children going missing, it has nothing to do with this.” I growled, to let him know I would not tolerate such behavior, he backed off immediately. “Very well.” He spoke calmly, but with a slight bit of irritation in his voice. “As I was saying whether it’s due to natural causes or something more nefarious, it will have to wait due to the storm, we could send a small squad, but no one exactly knows the region well.” Everyone nodded. “There are some smaller issues, but the regional elders can handle those.” sighing as he finished the last syllable, knowing what is to come. “Now, STEP OUTSIDE!” I shouted, he lowered his head, slowly strutting out of the room. “Now for the rest of you. I will talk to this general about proper chain of command and if anyone else violates this I will give them a swift DEMOTION!” I stomped out of the room, with my hands curled up into fists.

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“Ardosus, listen.” I growled aggressively with a deep boom in my voice. “NO, you FUCKING LISTEN.” He immediately closed his mouth, keeping his head lowered. “WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF WAR AND YOU HAVE THE FUCKING BRIGHT IDEA TO PULL THIS SHIT TO DO WHAT TO LOWER STRESS, DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW INFINITELY RETARDED THAT IS!” He nodded his head slowly. “I AM A QUEEN I HAVE TO LOOK AFTER MY PEOPLE AND I CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT WHEN I HAVE GENERALS WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT MY PERSONAL HEALTH!” I then felt my lungs cut out, my entire body going numb, as a fight or flight feeling came over me. Am I going to die? I tried to breathe, but couldn’t. "A-Ardosus… Stay here, I'm going to get a doctor.” The general then scurried off, and I leaned against a wall still struggling to even get a little bit of oxygen into my lungs. I looked at my hands as they shook intensively, my headache, worsening. I placed my hand over my heart, feeling it beat faster and faster.

Unga, Unga will help me h-he did before. I started to stumble my way upstairs, finding it harder to stay moving as fatigue started to take hold of me, every step feeling like a mountain. I made it outside his room before every muscle in my body gave out and I came crashing to the floor. A few seconds later I saw the door open, and he stared at me for a hard second, before coming to assist me. He checked my heart rate, his skin touching mine as he did, then he checked my breathing. His treatment a warm soft blanket and a few minutes later, I felt like I could breathe again. He sighed with relief. “Ardosus.” He spoke, I looked up at him. “Do you mind telling me what's been bothering you?” I stared at him, fighting every emotion that lied behind me as I’ve done in the past. It's always a losing battle. Tears began to flow down my cheeks, the watery droplets blurring my vision to the extreme. He brought his hand to the top of my head, patting it moving my ears from side to side. I covered my face as the tears rain down, hoping that he didn’t see this even though he did. If I could have him forget this moment I would. “Why must my enemies always be so persistent, always wanting war.” He pried my hands from my face holding them. “Just for five fucking minutes can I have a little peace in this place and beyond, can my people and I have something besides this.” I buried my face in Ungas chest. The tears, slowing their descent as Unga did his best to comfort me, his soothing touch and patientness soon settling me down.

The doctor then came in. his alcohol laced breath could be smelled across the room. He walked up, his steps slow and steady. He lowered himself, checking my pulse. “She’s beating too fast.” he said, I felt Unga shift his head. “I know, I’ll have her rest soon.” The doctor yawned. “Yeah do that, and have you taken those anti-stress meds.” I shook my head, as I heard him pinch the bridge of his nose. “Oh my fucking, just get to it.” He got up, the sound of his footsteps going out of the study.

I felt my eyes get heavy, as my heart began to slow down, as I basically started becoming dead weight. Unga did his best attempting to pick me up, but was failing miserably and after a few failed attempts I was finally able to pick myself up out of determination to sleep in a bed. I trembled at every step, as I attempted to exit the study, but Unga directed me to his room instead. “Please, it’s not worth it.” he said softly. I nodded, turning to face his room, Unga rushing under me, as I used him as support, having to be careful not to put too much weight on him, in fear of crushing his small little body. Once I had gotten close to the bed I collapsed, the air woshing around me as the mattress took the blunt of my weight.

I passed out immediately and dreamt I was standing in a bloody battlefield my sword adding to it as a fresh coat of snow was beginning to form, to cover the sins that lie upon this land, I looked up from the ground the body of citizens littering every imaginable spot on the field there body’s punctured through pikes. Missing limbs and heads, I looked at one who was stuck straight up on a pike, his eyeball hanging from a single fleshy thread, as he stared at me fear, failure all rushing me at once. I looked at my hand, but there was nothing, my armor was there. My sword was there. I was manipulating them, but I wasn’t there. Unga then woke me up. “Are you alright?” He asked, as I gasped for air and as I moved I felt the cool puddle beneath me. He handed me a large glass of water that I brought to my mouth. Feeling the life giving liquid rush down my throat, cooling my body and quenching my thirst. Unga sighed and scratched his head. He seemed just as stressed out as I am, weird shouldn’t he be calm. I'm the one freaking out about every little thing. He then gave me an entire platter of food. I could tell he made himself, just by how different the dishes appeared from what I usually have. It seems that Unga is full of surprises, good ones too. I don’t think there's a single bad dish on here.

“Care to tell me about your dream.” He said as I took a massive spoon full of the first dish. “I-it’s nothing.” I replied, he nodded his head. “I mean it’s just a dream.” I added as I scoffed down the food, the sudden explosion of spices and flavor making my brain numb with pleasure, he sighed. “Ardosus.” The concern in his voice easily picked up. “Please, I’m alright.” Unga then got up as he shook his head. “Ardosus I’m going into town soon and if you remember our deal.” I grunted. “My place is here.” “Ardosus don’t act like last night didn’t happen.” Why am I fighting him, he’s looking out for me, maybe just a little bit if it’s just for a little bit like the boat maybe I will be fine, everything will go back to normal and I will be able to continue my duty. I stared at Unga, his pupils giving me the stare down of an unconvinced parent. He grabbed my hand that same smooth, soft grip accompanying it. “Ardosus, please.” I looked back down at my food. “Very well, but I ask you to not tell anyone of my condition.” Unga nodded, exhaling. “I’m afraid I can't do that.” I cocked my head sideways. “You see what happened last night has already spread among the generals and troops like wildfire. The civilian populace to what extent I do not know.” I nodded. Doubt and concern will flow through my ranks then this is not what I had in mind. “If this hadn’t happened in front of everyone maybe all this could have been avoided” I whispered. Unga then frowned, why can he hear everything. “Ardosus kicking the can down the road doesn't help, what happens if you have another attack it could cause even more health issues to arise, and if it could go on long enough it could cause death.” he stated, how can you be so patient with my denial dammit. I just want my problems fixed and I want them fixed now.

I felt his grasp leaving me, and I tightened my grip, it wasn’t hard to over power him. He stopped trying to move away after a bit. “So how's the food?” he asked, I felt my tail begin wagging back and forth uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop it. “It’s better than anything the chiefs could conjure. It's new and interesting with a lot of different flavors.” he nodded, smiling. “Funny I didn’t think my cooking skills where that good.”, “everyone gets their food from the main kitchen including me, so it’s not always gonna be tip top.” I said. “Just when I thought I could start a cooking career” he said smiling, I raised my brow a little, and he laughed, as I quickly realized it was a joke, slightly giggling a little too feeling a little better then before. “There.” he said, as I loosened my grip on his hand, feeling it slip away. “Sorry about that.” he shook his head. “No, I understand you just need comfort right now.” he spoke, as he began to rub my shoulder. He did his best cracking jokes, talking to me, ensuring that the edge was taken off, to be honest though just his mere presence was enough. He manages me well for how stubborn I can be. I sipped the last of my hot cocoa gently, setting it onto the tray. “Fu I'm stuffed.” I said, as he took the tray off my lap. “Glad you liked it.” he said, placing the tray onto a nightstand.

I moved my leg off of the side of the bed, barely feeling any kind of strength in it. I remained still wondering if I should continue the motion, as Unga placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t push yourself.” I let out a sigh. That word has been repeated far too many times in my lifetime, probably for good reason. I waited a few seconds hoping that my strength would come to me but it never did, I took the chance anyway. I slowly lifted myself up, standing tall for a few short seconds, until I was forced to sag a little as a heavy sensation pulled me down. “I can give you a few extra minutes.” Unga said, I shook my head. “No, I will press forward.” I asserted, his eyebrow rising slightly. “How about I take off your armor, that must weigh a ton.” I felt his hand press into one of my straps, I stared down at him as I twitched his hand off of it, an exhale following the motion. “Ardosus do you have a better idea.” I stared down at the floor. “Go ahead.” I muttered he then shot up a glance. “Go ahead due what you must.” I felt his small hands reach across my body from head to toe, slowly and steadily unstrapping each piece, laying them out across the floor. I felt naked as he made it to my breast plate, the final piece he decided to remove. I felt a bit lighter, actually significantly lighter. I still had the earth pulling me down to its center, but it felt better. Unga stared at me, his hands shaking a little. “T-there feel better.” His voice cracking the minute he opened his mouth. I placed my hand upon my chest feeling the heat omit from my body. “A little better.” I replied, letting out a long held breath. “Well w-we should find you more appropriate clothes, rather than the padding.” looked away. “Thicker clothes, to trap my heat.” I spoke as I stepped out of the room, he nodded and followed doing his best not to look at me for too long.

Will this trip actually help me, it’s just going down into a city nothing more, this can’t be a solution. “Do you really think this visit will help?” Unga paused with a gaze that seemed to run down the hallway. “I have no idea. You could say I’m just driving on hope, but I’m pretty sure it will raise your spirits, either way every treatment is a process.” My shoulders dropped again, as I stared at the ground. My pace, becoming sloppy. “Don’t worry Ardosus I’m sure we'll find something to relieve that stress.” My head perked up, as my tail began to wag intensively, the boat coming to mind. “See it’s not as hard as one thinks.” He said giggling. I couldn't help but giggle too, but stopped myself the second it started. I felt sorta bad for hiding it, I shouldn’t treat him so coldly, I mean is this the image I want to keep around him? We soon arrived at my room, my guards eyes following me, their heads slightly lowered and their body’s slumped a bit. I ignored their sloppy posture and depressed demeanor. It's hard to blame them.

I walked through the mountainous double doors of my room, their grandness being more of a burden now with my weakness, while Unga stopped outside, prompting me to stop to. “What are you doing waiting out there?” I questioned. Turning my body just so I could make eye contact. “U-uhh I thought.” The corners of my mouth raised slightly. This was your idea shy man. “Come on in.” He sorta looked at the guards who where trading glances with each other. After a few seconds, Unga let out a held breath, and he stepped into my room, my guards closing the doors.

I began searching through my dresser, finding every assortment of coats, shirts, pants, and dresses, laying them out on the bed. Unga walking over, inspecting the fine fabrics, but he seemed bothered. “Why are you.” his gaze then met mine, as he paused. “If you couldn’t tell, the only thing I’ve worn is the under dressings for my armor, so I figured you could find the one that holds the most heat, as for me to keep warm and for you to, well.” He gently nodded, staring at all the clothes, until he picked up a dress that was quite thick, handing it to me. I walked off into the changing room, beginning to fiddle with it. I haven't worn these types of clothes in forever. I carefully put it on. Who knows how old this dress is, it's probably from days long past just by looking at the stitching. And the minute my shoulders touched it’s gentle fabric a sense of familiarity washed over me. This dress, I think my mother wore it when she was showing me to the populace. I remembered that stare she gave me as I asked in front of everybody when we would play again. I wish she did instead of scolding me, to be fair it was a public gathering. I walked back out, Unga seeming less nervous. “Those seem to work pretty good.” He said, I nodded. “Should we go through the rest just to make sure?” I asked. He looked at the remaining clothes. “None of these are going to compare to that, I believe, unless you want to layer them.”

I cautiously walked up beside him, and he took notice moving away slightly, making sure his eyes didn’t meet my body. I let out a slight giggle, the sound escaping for just a moment. “Sorry, it's still pretty you know.” he stated, I nodded, as he looked up at me, his eyes avoiding my stomach. “I know and I don’t mind.” I replied, my attempt at sounding soft obfuscated by my icicle like voice, a glare of the same description following. I saw a shiver go down his spine. This feels so strange to me, teasing him like this, it's just came out of no where and it sorta reminds me of my sister, but just more dignified. “Sorry, that was uncalled for.” He nodded, trying to focus on keeping his eyes away.

“We should head into town.” He said. I looked down. Can I really do this with all that has happened? I haven't seen my people in ages, and look at me I’m a wreck. Do the people deserve to see their Queen at her lowest. I looked up Unga was already by the door staring back at me. I closed my eyes, exhaled and walked forward. The journey down was uneventful, it was mostly Unga clinging to me as the biting wind casted itself across the land. “I probably never would’ve even made it out the door without you.” he complimented. “So that's what you just wanted me for.” I'm so bad at this I should just stop, I bet he can't even tell that I’m teasing him with how cold I sound? “No, uhh.” I stared down at him, as we drew close to the town. “Relax” I said, he then looked back up at me giggling. “Made me stumble on my words a little.” I exhaled glad that he understood, funny I think that's the first time I’ve joked in a while.

“Oh and I’ve been meaning to ask, do you mind if I pillage your supplies for hiking gear.” I smirked. “Pillage away.” I premised, he smiled from ear to ear. “Great that crosses the store off the list.” We made it to the edge of the city. It wasn't very large as most Glenchin settlements are but this is the largest, mostly because of the water access, as well as being a convenient pit stop when heading down to trade with the other nations. It has a few shops, workshops, and your average restaurant with a couple houses scattered about, but what really makes the place stand out was a fountain built in the most turbulent era of our kingdom, water spewing out from the top glistening as steam trickled away from its surface. A landmark of our perseverance and the first sign of change, I wonder what would’ve happened, if we didn’t become open to the idea of trade, and instead kept pillaging for resources.

Once we walked past that fountain people started to take notice to our presence, staring with wonder, soon a crowd had begun to gather around us. I could hear the whispers. "Is that the Queen," "I can't believe she's come to visit us," "hey look it's the tiny little snake, look how pathetic he looks, can't even handle a breeze." I casted a scowl at the person that utter those words, prompting him to disappear into the crowd fretfully. Unga then tugged on my dress. "Ardosus it's best not to pay any mind, I know it's disheartening but nothing can be truly done about it." He said semi nervously I know I’m kinda contradicting myself, but how can you be so easy going you saved my life Unga. There shouldn't be anyone degrading you like that,but I did as he said ignoring the rest of the crowd, as we approached the exterior of a tavern.

"You aren't seriously thinking about going in there." I asked, sorta stepping back from the place, he shrugged. "What, it's just a place to drink." My family always told me a Queen should never be around these places, it’s where trouble makers and hooligans to drown themselves in drink. "Why even this place?" I questioned. "Hey people go here to talk, and I'm in some dire need of some information on animal locations, unless you know anybody or have a better idea." I paused, is there a general no, maybe a supply man no, none that I know of, wait is there a store with a map that indicates hotspots, I’m not aware of one if any exist, I don’t see any either. I’ll just wait outside no, no if Unga gets torn to shreds I’ll never be able to live with myself. I nodded at Unga braving the disgrace as I went in with him.

Everyone locked eyes on us, as Unga immediately took off and started asking about, he was met with some cold shoulders right off the bat, but seemed to be getting mostly hits although some didn’t seem all to helpful. I’ll watch from afar.

"Hey Ardosus.” I heard a man call from the far corner. I looked at him, recognizing his face, and I slowly walked over to him, keeping my eyes on Unga. "Been awhile." Hurk said I nodded in agreement. "How's retirement?" I added, as he began to smile. "Going just as expected, but if there's one thing that doesn't change is how much house work beats my ass." I nodded. "I can only imagine." I said. "I bet you can, holy shit those servants were quick." he spoke, giggling a little. "Indeed, although I found it annoying especially when they got on my case when I dressed myself." His eyes widened, and he laughed, his smile growing larger. "I can’t believe I forgot about that, oh that was a sight how you made them give up, oh man, I remember the hot red faces of the ladies when you told them to fuck off, me and the other royal guard where fighting off tears." I then heard some shuffling and I turned my head just in time to see Unga pinned against the wall.

"Hey, I mean no harm." Unga calmly said. "Well ain't that too bad shrimp because this is Glenchin, we stood hundreds of years without your help." I hastily walked up behind the offender. Standing over him as I slowly unsheathed my sword, growling. "Get your hands off of him." He turned around immediately a looked of fear in his eyes. "S-sorry, my Queen." He slowly walked away keeping his hands raised and his head lowered out of shame. I looked around the tavern. "Ungas earned more then my respect for what he’s done for me, I expect the same from everyone one in these lands.” Many raised there drinks, laughing as the man moved himself to the corner. "Are you alright Unga.” He looked up at me cheerfully. “Yeah, thanks for stepping in. I'll be sure your peoples strength is written in my notebook when I have the chance.” he spoke, I sighed. Show a little bit of fear, he could've crushed you with just one hand. “Just don’t be the cause of another heart attack.”

I then dragged him over to my old acquaintance. “Well this must be the diplomat.” I shook my head and he raised his brow. “He’s my student.” His eyes widened, as he fought back a little bit of shock, and a little bit of laughter. “Sorry just, you, a teacher.” I nodded understanding the humor. “It’s an odd arrangement.” I said. “How so?” he questioned as his little laughing fit ceased, as his eyes gazed with curiosity. “Unga researches animals.” Hurk then shoot a glance at Unga. “So you're allowing him to stay so he can research animals.” He raised his eyebrow realizing what he said. “Don’t worry I’m passing down leadership skills.” He shrugged. “Probably the first deal that's like this in history.” He added. “Maybe so, either way do you know of any animal hotspots” Unga butted in, Hurk then pondered for a moment and then gently nodded his head. “Actually, I know someone that does.” Unga’s eyes glistened. “Can you please tell me how I can reach them then.” The guard smiled, as Ungas excitement grew. “So this is why you brought him over.” I shook my head, but that did nothing to dissuade his opinion, he chuckled probably laughing at my disagreement with him. “All well why don’t I spare the talk and just bring you guys there.” Unga’s smile grew to sizes I never thought possible. His stride filled with energy. To be fair, the last time he stretched his feet out in the wilderness was some time ago.

We followed my old guard out of the city, down to a familiar trail that led us to an old well maintained cabin that was some ways away from us. Wait, please tell me where not going there. “Too cold for you Unga.” Hurk said, staring at Unga, who was lying under my coat. “Oh, you have no idea.” Unga spoke as we approached the cabin. I wish I could run, the memory of him carrying his dead brother in his arms, being surrounded by his dead friends, the words he uttered to me. “I will never be under your banner ever again.” All these things raced through my mind as the embarrassment of the horrors I committed, plagued my chest once again. My heart beginning to beat harder as we approached the front door. Hurk knocked “come in'' I heard a familiar voice shout. Hurk then opened the door and we made our way in. Unga moving away from my dress. looking at the many mounts that were placed on the walls and pelts that were laid out on the floor, quickly analyzing and writing notes on the carcasses, imagining the animal that once had it as there skin. Unga then looked at me shortly after, immediately slanting his brow. I'm not showing anything am I, I can’t be. He walked up to me, placing his hand on my arm. “You okay, you're breathing pretty frantically.” I felt like my lungs close up the second he uttered those words, like my body was trying to hide these things from me or maybe it's the other way around. "It's just hot in here, I'm pretty sure once we leave I'll be fine." he narrowed his eyelids. “Tell me when you can't handle it.” he replied. I nodded, as Hurk looked over at us, that same expression of suspicion dressed across his face.

The man then walked out of the kitchen, slowing his pace down to a stop the minute he made eye contact with me. I saw a small faded ember glowed in his eyes. “Hurk get her the hell out of here.” Unis demanded. His old raspy and tired tone echoing throughout the room. “What.” Unis then looked at Hurk. “Get her out.” I shouldn’t say anything, it's not my right. Unis then disappeared back into the kitchen. I lowered my head doing my best to hide my shame. I can't believe I showed myself in front of him again. I disciplined myself regaining my composer. “I ruined his family, his life. I was too naive to lead in my first war, and that is all that needs to be said.” The memories came rushing in, my generals telling me we should decimate their small force with our army, we were fools, I was a fool. I started gasping for air again, my legs shaking as my weakness grew. Unga directed me to a couch having me lay out on it. How couldn’t I see it? I have read the maneuver in textbooks since birth. Pull the main opposing forces away with a smaller more maneuverable force and pick off their back units while coming in from the flank. If I hadn’t noticed that last second our army probably would’ve been doomed. I felt my heartbeat in my rib cage even more intensely.

Unga then placed his hand over my chest, and I grabbed it holding on tightly. I didn't want to look weak, but there was no way around it. I saw Unis staring through a crack in the door, his eye old and dull. He then quickly went back to what he was doing, as Hurk walked over. His pupils filled with fear. “Is she okay?” Unga looked up at him. “She's fine, I don’t know how she’ll fair in the future though.” Unga then placed a pelt over me, its cozy warmness, comforting me until I was finally able to relax. “I’ll go talk to him Ardosus, see if I can get him to for-.'' I shook my head. “I don’t deserve it, Unga.” I said. My voice crackly and deep. Unga nodded respecting my decision. “Then I will do what I originally planned.” he spoke with an exhale. I raised my hand to grab him as he walked away, but he was too quick. I sighed. Don't take too long... I then looked out of the window above me staring at the castle. Hopefully we leave soon and I can spend the rest of the day with you Unga, because everything now seems to set me off.

UNGA

I walked into the kitchen, Unis running the stove to its absolute limit canning vegetables. He looked up at me, his movements seeming tired, his expression full of an exhausted hate. He stared at me for a few seconds before finally opening his mouth. “What do you want, kid.” he muttered, walking up to me. I kept eye contact with him as he grew closer, his entire figure towering over me. “I-I just wanted to know if you knew any good locations for animals.” “You a hunter.” I shook my head. “No, researcher.” He stroked his chin, and handed me a rifle. “Meet you outside,” he said, finishing up the last few cans he needed to do, and then continuing out the back door.

I confusingly followed him outside, a clay pigeon sling lying on the ground, Unis loading up the device with fresh disks. He launched one, shooting it out of the sky a few moments later. “Wanna give it a try.” He said, as I walked up next to him, handing me a few rounds. I loaded them into the gun with ease.

“I thought she’d be more defensive.” he said, as I loaded the last round. “How so?” He shrugged, launching a clay disk. I immediately locked on, blowing it out of the air. He narrowed his eyes, and then brought his vision to me. “I don’t know, because that's how some people are, but not her she just let me disrespect her... Probably never forgave herself, yeah, and I never forgave her.” He launched two and they met the same fate. “Holy shit, are you sure you're a researcher?” I shrugged. “You only have one shot with a tranq gun, I mean they make better ones but the one I own is the one I'm used to.” He chuckled, nodding. "So is this why you brought me out here, because you can't forgive her or." He shook his head. “ Yeah, your right on the first half, I just need a third party to help me on this and you two seem pretty close. Either way, seeing her in that state.” He exhaled “she’s done a lot in the past couple of years, fought both famine and wars with great success. I don’t think she's taken a single vacation, not like her parents did either.” he ended the sentence with a chuckle. “Guess I was just pissed back then.” He looked at me. "Sorry for trying to rush you two out though." “No, it’s alright even though I've only heard snippets I understand the bad blood.” “No, I should act more mature.” He shot out three clay disks, and I hit two, the bolt catching back. He threw a round into the air, and I immediately caught it sliding the round into the chamber and sending the bolt forward, aiming down the iron sights, and finishing off the last clay pigeon in a beautiful explosion of dust. “Ardosus definitely brought back a proficient one.” he said looking down at me. I smiled, as he stared out into the snow, the cold air beginning to freeze my skin. He slowly turned his head towards me and I handed him the rifle, looking as if he was desperately trying to find some type of resolution. “It was a hard situation; nobody should have been expected to act rationally.” I said calmly. He nodded. “I guess I'm just wondering if I should hold onto this old grudge.” He looked at the house staring through a tiny window. “That's up to you, but that doesn't stop me from saying, I think you should.” He exhaled. "You don't make this easy." "I know, but this is your quarry not mine, making me the judge doesn't solve what bitterness you have, you have to come to terms with that." There was a long silence between us, and he looked down at the rifle. “I remember my brother saying not to be too hard on her. “Youngness breeds mistakes.” He always said. After that whole debacle I thought he was a dumbass, but looking back at it now he was pretty fucking right, she wasn't being malicious, she didn't suffer form hubris, she was just trying to make due with what she had and I should've helped her learn in that regard instead of tossing her aside.”

He began walking to the door and I followed, finding ourselves in the living room. Ardosus sitting on the couch, having a time of it trying to get up. I immediately rushed over to assist her, although I couldn’t do much, but in the end she was able to finally stand. Ardosus turned to face him, lowering her head in such a way so that barely anyone could see her expression, remaining silent as Unis stare at her. “Ardosus, I’m sorry.” She looked up, surprise only appearing on her face for a second. “Ho-w, how so.” she stuttered. “because it's time to let this grudge die.” he replied, gently smiling. “B-but your brother I-I.” “If I was in my brother's arms he would be more understanding then I was, he would've helped you unlike I.” She nodded. “it’s about time I took in a little of his advice.” a faint smile appeared on Ardosus face and I couldn’t help but do the same. This may finally be a turning point for her. “Oh and here.” He handed her what seemed like some type of liquid soap. “Pour it into your bath, it should help with the stress, it happens to all of us although yours seems more serious.” He added, as she clenched the bottle. “Thank you, Unis.” “it's nothing to thank me for just doing what I can.” he replied. Ardosus paused, looking as if she was pondering. “Should I invite you to the next gathering?” Unis scoffed. “And do what, meet with a bunch of bureaucratic retards.” Ardosus giggled shortly. “Don’t worry I rag just as much on them as you will.” He smiled, extending his hand. “Well then, I guess it’s a deal.” Ardosus eased up, her stress must be finally subsiding, thank goodness.

“Oh and Unga about those animal locations.” I immediately looked at him with intrigue as he reached into his coat and pulled out a map. “This has locations of most beasts in Glenchin, trust me it’s useful.” I opened it, coming over the material as if it was going to disappear from my very hands. “Careful Unga don’t read it to fast might miss something.” he giggled, as I nodded. Inhaling all of the information it had to offer. “Mind telling me about this odd arrangement.” Unis spoke to Ardosus, as he looked at me. “He’s a friend from a nation we recently allied with, as you can tell he’s particularly fond of animals.” Unis nodded with a smile looking up at her, but frowned soon after. “I don't mean to stress you Ardosus, but the border do you think it's going to happen again.” He said as he walked over to a wall picking up a sword that was on display. I watched has her hands jittered a little. “In truth I do not know but it seems likely.” he nodded, exhaling, as I noticed that Ardosus hand was slightly shaking. He then brought the hilt of the sword to her. “Take it, let it be a reminder of my trust.” She nodded, and did so. I folded up the map, bringing my full attention to the two, the sword she held noticeably jittering, whilst half her attention laid elsewhere. I think it's time I get her back, get her to her room where it'll hopefully be peaceful for her. “I think it’s time we bid our leave.” I said. Unis nodded. “may I say one thing, before you two go." We all stopped. "Nice shooting Unga.'' I nodded with a smiling, and we all continued out.

“You okay?” I asked as Ardosus dragged her feet across the ground, as she breathed her long drawn out breaths. I pity her especially with the mindset she has. “How about we head back.” She nodded, placing her hand over her chest, still taking in deep breaths, as she steadied herself. "Why does my body act like this, I just need to lead.” I gently placed my hand over hers, hoping that would sooth some of her troubles . "I think it’s time you found time for yourself.” She remained quiet and we kept walking to the castle, her stride not improving a bit as we walked, and after some time we finally made it to the castle. “I think it would be wise to use that soap, it will at least get you to relax.” I said as we made our way up to her room, but as we grew close, we heard yelling from the war room.

Ardosus quickly broke my grasp and rushed over. I followed wanting to pull her back, but I couldn't. We were met by two groups of people, one lead by Ardosus sister and the other by the general whom I've heard held the meeting without Ardosus’s knowledge. “Are you fucking joking have you seen her condition.” Her sister looked at him with a scowl. “She's a big girl, she can handle herself.” She said, “yes she has grown but everyone has limits you damn slut.”

ARDOSUS

I saw my sister reach for her blades, a psychotic gaze coming across her eyes. I grabbed a poleaxe from a soldier, sending it crashing into the ground in front of the two. They both stared at me for a second, the two then locking eyes once again. “I do not care what this is about.” I growled, as the two continued to stare at each other. “All I know is that this is immature and unruly, we have an enemy at our border and we should be more concerned by that, then this petty argument you two are having.” my sister smirked, as the general's eyes disappeared under the shadow of his hat. This is not going to be resolved easily, in fact, it’s only going to intensify if I don’t do something. “See she can handle things herself.” My sister taunted, the general scoffed. “You know what bitch your not her voice, so why doesn't the Queen decide.” Everyone then looked at me, waiting for an answer. Why did you have to say that, ugh. This isn’t good, there's no way I can regain control. I can bitch to both of them how they both are idiots, and that this is lunacy, but in the end that's only letting both sides walk away with distaste, there is no clear win or lose. My heart began racing again. And it’s not like I can go somewhere, and not be aware of what's happening. I felt the headache come upon me. And if I stay, this is most likely only going to get worse.

I felt Unga grab my hand, escorting me away from the war room, his expression filled with frustration and anger, and after a sort trek I was near my bed. “Lay down, Ardosus.'' He commanded, a slight hissing hidden under his voice. I did so, my body finally able to find a little rest. “What is wrong with everybody?” he said, scratching his head. I stared at him. “They should know better.” he added as I stared up at the ceiling. My body finally began recuperating some strength. I can’t believe I’ve become so weak, I should be better than this, I shouldn’t be letting this little bit of anxiety hold me down. The famine drove itself into my mind. An event that began when the emergency food store caught fire in a year already riddled with food shortages, everyone was angry and upset, no one believed that I was starving until I gave a speech, it was the first time they saw me in those months, I was too busy, berried under unending paper work because of it. I never would’ve thought a malnourished body could silence a crowd's suspicions, but even then I never felt like this. Am I missing some vital piece of information, like the crowd was. “Sorry, Ardosus for sounding out my complaints, you don’t need that right now.” Unga said with a slight hiss, I brought my eyes to him. If this continues I won't be able to lead, much less take up arms with my troops. “Unga.” He looked at me, anger still gripping onto him. “When are you leaving?” I asked softly, as my eyelids began to slowly cloud my vision. “Tomorrow maybe.” He said “I will follow, I think it’s time I accept that I cannot continue until this is resolved, so please wake me if I still sleep.” Unga nodded as darkness fell over my vision… Unga, please help me.

UNGA

I moved the covers up, as her chest moved up and down delicately and steadily, as she slept. I exhaled, finally able to let my anger pass and walked out of her room. The guards, staring at me as I continued down the hall.

I should probably tell the doc what happened, wait no, it’s not like she’ll listen to anything that he says from what I’ve heard, but he should know just in case anything out of the blue happens. I soon found myself standing in front of the doctors office, staring at the door for a second then walking in. “There's something called knocking you know.” I stared at him. “Ardosus is having more intense panic attacks, it's paralyzing her.” He stopped reading some papers and sighed. “Of course she is.” Lifting his papers back up, I sat down in a chair, rubbing my temples. This isn’t good everything else I’ve tried didn’t calm her or put her at ease, well permanently. “Seems like every time she gets slightly better some random thing comes out of the blue.” The doctor got up. “Yeah that happens in politics.” He placed the papers in a file. “I can’t believe she’s been dealing with this stuff… for how long.” the doctor closed the filing cabinet. “Sixteen years in other words, since she was fourteen.” I looked at him in shock. “That’s extremely young.” I replied, he nodded. “I have her parents down as natural causes, which is a good half-truth without the specifics.” He pulled out two files, laying them out onto the table. “Both died from stress induced heart attacks from years of constant politicking.” I looked down at the floor realizing Ardosus was on the same track. If she doesn't change course. my leg started bouncing. “She’s decided to go out on an expedition with me.” He nodded, smiling. “You know Unga.” He began pouring two shot glasses full of whisky. “We, as in the guards, tried giving her a childhood full of play and joy, well, let's just say that's hard when the parents are up tight cunt’s.” He picked up a glass and so did I, knowing what came next. We gently hit the glasses against each other but after that I just stared at the glass. “What's wrong?” He questioned. “I don’t drink.” He grabbed my shot glass, chugging it down. “And done.” He said. “I don’t understand why we’re celebrating though, it’s not like I’ve reversed anything.” The doctor chuckled. “It’s because Unga, she may be finally realizing that there's more to life than the crown.” I nodded. How she's still bullish about everything revolving around relaxing, she may just be seeing this as a quick fix for all I know. “But I still need to make sure she gets better.” The doctor placed his hand on my shoulder. “You have already proven that to me, because this is the first time she’s even considered going into town, even considered to leave the castle, even considered to do anything without a political motive or duty strapped behind it.” I exhaled, realizing what he was saying. “Yeah I guess so and from what she’s told me… I’ll do my best, doctor.” I said, he then smiled. The aroma of alcohol escaping his mouth, wreaking havoc on my senses. “I bet you will.'' We both nodded and I walked out. Ardosus my friend, all that I ask you is to change for the better.