Compass [https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pw/AP1GczNk1NL-yvxLQhFtLwkSQwPHzcSWLvBlFUcfBlZaMCLs0p4CT9j7dWkHD_CP47oWIYpLUUrIeJuqusdyCHLX0GgKnZp4ymkTSrMiYxezJHaaO5ogECvVW339QP38cv-2h5DpZAp5tfr-8s4b-APC5bRf=w639-h958-s-no-gm?authuser=0]
Phoenix was glad that Dazien had managed to get them a bit of a reprieve in their duties on the wall after signing up for the rotation with the Ducal Guards directly rather than filling in for one of the AOA missions the duke had contracted out to them. They would be getting a few days off and decided to return to the World Tree to recuperate.
She had heard people discussing the potential names for the budding city, which consisted of the ship and the surrounding structures that were slowly being added to around the gigantic tree. So far, the Sacred City was the winner in her mind. It still made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but it was way better than Saint’s Landing or City of the Celestial Tree, which seemed to be potential contenders currently.
Even with the discomforting names, it was actually a relief to be here for her since she didn’t have to worry nearly as much about a potential kidnapper or assassin. Presley was the equivalent of a guardian angel for her as the ship’s eyes were everywhere, and it could respond or get help in an instant. Not to mention, the area where their personal rooms were was heavily defended and was off-limits to outsiders.
Before heading to her own room for a much-needed rest, Phoenix stopped by Patricia’s study to see if she had returned by now. She felt lucky to find the busy noblewoman furiously tapping away at her new addiction, and she almost didn’t want to enter and risk breaking her aunt’s concentration.
“Come in and sit. I wanted to speak with you, but it will be brief,” Patricia prompted, not looking up at her.
She sat in the hard chair across from her aunt and said, “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t cause too much trouble yesterday…”
Pati gave a short laugh, “You are always trouble,” she replied. Then she looked up with a smile and added, “But you are worth every minute of paperwork and every second of inconvenience.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Phoenix muttered.
“You saved my daughter and nephew’s life.”
“I put them in danger in the first place.”
“That fault does not lie solely upon your shoulders. I’ll be having some pointed words with Avatar Starlark about that later. As well as with your party leader.”
“First he’s ‘nephew,’ then he’s ‘party leader.’ You’re not really going to scold him for the tough choices he made, are you? He’s definitely had a rough time between finding his mom, trying to protect us all, and then Uriel getting upset with him. Plus, dealing with all that paperwork with the AOA. You could give him a bit of a break,” she said in her brother’s defense. Dazien had been supporting her every step of the way so far, and she wanted to return the favor.
“Oh, I’m aware. I learned about his mother when I spoke with Knight Thevaris before they left the cult’s building with Avatar Starlark, and Padma filled me in on everything that happened in that dreadful room of cages. Those were impossible choices, and I’m proud of how Dazien behaved despite the strain it would put on the man he cares for most in this world. I doubt he enjoyed making the choices he did. No, what I just wanted to ask him about was if he would be joining the Avenger’s clergy.”
Phoenix blinked owlishly at that and asked in her most eloquent style, “Wait, What?”
“Well, with Paul currently in a cursed sleep, I’m the one that gets contacted as Dazien’s guardian, and the potential ramifications against House Wayland for accepting a divine quest from Avenger are not small. I’m getting many inquiries from a variety of people about whether he will be taking up the mantle his adoptive father has temporarily been forced to set aside. I won’t stop him one way or the other. Frankly, I just want to know before instead of after he starts stalking around the city in that damnable cape like Paul did.”
Her mind was having trouble processing the words her aunt was saying and could only ask, “Divine quest? What are you talking about?”
Patricia paused to look at her curiously before asking slowly, “Didn’t Dazien tell you about how he took Rayna to the AOA and then found Ramir Mirimel —the man who betrayed all of you— and accepted Avenger’s quest to kill him? They must have been gone for hours. What did you think he was doing?”
Her jaw dropped open in shock, her mind replaying the conversation before Dazien and Rayna had gone to the AOA, “He said he was just going to ask questions! I don’t know when he got back that night ‘cause I went to sleep! He didn’t tell me anything about murdering someone for Avenger!”
Patricia rolled her eyes at her, “Come now, Phoenix. It can hardly be considered murder when the man was a cannibal cultist trying to flee from justice and threatening the safety of everyone around him.”
“Wait, Paul told me that he deals retribution in the form of the crime. An eye for an eye type of thing,” Phoenix began to explain, her stomach already turning at the ideas swimming unbidden through her mind, “Did— Did Dazien have to eat Ramir?”
“Gods, I hope not,” Patricia replied with a disgusted look on her face, “That would have made it all the more painful for Dazien, I’m sure. He might strive to be a strong leader, but I can see how that boy has a soft spot for others. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to believe he would follow the path of an avenger. Paul was hardened by his decades of fighting cultists who liked wielding Corruption, and I was still surprised he had chosen that particular path.”
Phoenix fell silent, unsure how to react to that. She had always thought Dazien and Paul to be kind and strong. Now that Pati pointed it out, maybe it was the idea of needing to be ruthless in vengeance that made her despise them both needing to do such a thing. Would they lose that kindness from having to become as bad as the people they punished?
After a moment of pondering, Patricia pulled out a small notebook and placed it on the desk between them, “This is a copy of one of the ledgers we found during the raid on the Scarlet Banquet.”
Pati tapped the cover to emphasize her words, “The one from the last blood moon, with two people with the family name of Smithson… We know what happened to Lora, but it seems that James was listed in the ledger as getting sold to the DOD, which I have been informed were the Disciples of the Destroyer, but we’re not entirely sure where he might have ended up. It seems the DOD normally provided a ship to collect their cargo.”
“So, he could still be alive?” she asked, barely daring to hope.
Patricia grimaced, “I would not count on it, Phoenix. He was a Caster, so tougher than most, but for this amount of time… I would think it unlikely but not impossible.”
“We should go after them! We should rescue him!” she said fervently, leaning forward as though to stand to leave that moment.
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“No, Phoenix.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
Phoenix was stunned by the cold refusal, and Patricia patiently watched her reaction. Then, the priestess asked her an unexpected question, “Are you the one planning to follow in my brother’s footsteps instead?”
“What?”
“Are you planning to leave everything behind? Do you plan to abandon your long-term quest from the gods to save a nation trapped by tyranny? Maybe join the Hunter’s clergy instead, now that they’ve been helping take over from the Purifier when it comes to tracking and cleansing the Corrupted?”
“What? No! What are you talking about?”
Patricia tapped the ledger once more, “This is a quest that could take decades or centuries to complete; completion may even be impossible. Hunting down slavers and rescuing innocent people who were sold, kidnapped, and transported around the globe. This is a job that people dedicate their entire lives to, and I guarantee there are people stronger than Sapphire or even Emerald Caste who are behind this.
“Are you planning to walk down this path? Of changing your purpose to be the one that hunts slavers? That is a harsh path that many don’t have the fortitude for. There is death and darkness down that path that can stain the brightest of souls; I know this because I’ve seen it. While it is a noble and worthy purpose, is it the one you want? The one Paul once found purpose in before losing it all and finding you.”
Phoenix found herself slightly speechless at the severity of her aunt’s words, not having quite thought through the potential ramifications of chasing after Dazien’s father.
Patricia’s posture softened, and she gave her a wan smile, “If you want that to be your purpose eventually, then that’s fine, but I’m not sure you would find happiness in that. Plus, I believe you are destined for even greater things.”
Phoenix gave an annoyed huff and said sarcastically, “Right, what’s a few random people compared to a nation? My destiny is apparently already chosen for me. My divine quest to save everyone but the people that matter the most to me. So far, it seems my fate is to be a pawn of the gods and do as they ask.” Then she muttered darkly, “And I play right into their hands every time. My only purpose is to accomplish this quest.”
Her aunt frowned at her and pointed out, “A single quest cannot be your sole purpose in life, Phoenix.”
At her raised eyebrows, Pati added, “Goals are good, but your purpose shouldn’t have an end in sight. Your purpose helps define what the next goal will be. That’s why I’m asking what you want your purpose to be.
“Once the goal of your quest is done, what’s next for you? You might not be strong enough to go after these slavers now, but what about when you’re Emerald? What about when you’re Ruby and Paul rejoins you? What purpose are you planning to dedicate your life to, Phoenix?”
She looked at the priestess with wide eyes and a blank mind, “I… I don’t know. I haven’t really thought much about the future like that. It’s, um… I’ve kinda always been in this state of not expecting to have any future before coming here…”
Patricia laughed, breaking the tension caused by the seriousness of the conversation, “Well, as someone with your particular powers and divine oversight, I would start to seriously consider what it is you want to live for… you have nothing but the future ahead of you.”
Phoenix peered at the priestess and commented with a slight huff, “You sound like you’ve been talking with that Priestess of the Traveler… trying to keep me on the ‘right’ path and knowing which way my personal compass should point.”
Pati gave a slightly twisted grin that always made Phoenix feel like the woman was plotting something as she replied, “Kyleen is lovely. We have brunch every Arcsol.”
After mentally translating the weekday name to Thursday, she put a palm over her face and groaned, “Of course you do.”
Then she remembered another reason she had wanted to stop by, and a smile crept across her face as she braced for Patricia to verbally thrash her, “By the way, Uriel decided he wants to stop hiding his Soul Mark, so I’m not alone in front of the crowds anymore.”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
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As Phoenix was making her way back to their area of the converted vessel, she found herself falling into step with the voxen twins making their way back as well. They had visited the kitchens to get some food for Wally and spend time with the little guy. Apparently, at Sapphire Caste, Wally also had the limited telepathy that Tala had acquired, but his language seemed to be a bit more stilted, and Saiya had described it as talking with a toddler who knew what they wanted to say, just not quite with the vocabulary to express it yet.
As Rayna and Saiya were walking with her, she asked them both a question that had been on her mind since leaving that meeting with her aunt, “You don’t have to answer,” she began, “But what do you both think of as your purpose in life?”
They both looked at her assessingly, seeming curious about the somber mood she was projecting, and Saiya answered first, “To help others on their recovery journeys. It’s a worthy aspiration that I find a lot of personal joy in.”
“No wonder you still put up with me,” Phoenix said in self-deprecation, trying to lighten the seriousness she had caused.
“My purpose might not be as grand as Saiya’s, but I just want to make fun music and beat up some monsters,” Rayna added with a cheeky grin.
Saiya clicked her tongue and prodded her sister, “That’s not really the purpose, Rayna, that’s the means.”
The bard’s grin slipped slightly, but she took a deep breath and admitted a bit sheepishly to Phoenix, “I like protecting people, whether it’s from the danger of monsters or the sadness of despair. The best way I know how to do that is by hitting a drum or a beast, so that’s what I’ll do.”
“Does that help you figure out what your purpose is?” Saiya asked her, and she quickly looked over at her friend in surprise, “You’ve been confused and uncertain since we met up. Considering your initial question, I’m guessing it’s the root of what’s on your mind. Did this come from what happened with the Scarlet Banquet or with the AOA?”
Phoenix shrugged, “Just something Pati and I were discussing after I suggested hunting down Daze’s dad. She argued that wasn’t my purpose, but I’m not really sure what my purpose is. I thought it was my quest, but she pointed out that’s a goal, not a purpose. It honestly feels like I’m missing my purpose now that she pointed it out. What do I do once I reach that goal?”
“Be a kick-ass princess, remember?” Rayna joked, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “Daze said I could be a Knight, so we can have a blast together and blow up all who dare to oppose our King!”
Phoenix rolled her eyes, “That sounds like you’ve either been charmed by our Shiny leader or want to follow in Kara’s footsteps.”
“She was pretty awesome. I’m not gonna lie,” the pugilist pointed out.
Then Saiya asked, “What about all the lives you saved by portaling people to safety or delivering supplies all across the tundra? Rescuing people seems worthwhile. You’ve had many quests in the past that you’ve already completed along those lines.”
“Well, I don’t want to just be a delivery service,” Phoenix said, scrunching up her face in frustration, “While I don’t mind helping out with that when the opportunity arises, I know my place is out there with all of you… fighting monsters.”
“Well… then maybe you should ask yourself why you’re chasing this goal you have in the first place?” Saiya prodded.
Phoenix fell into silent contemplation as they reached the hall to their rooms and stopped in confusion when she saw Uriel standing in front of the door to his room that he never went in, staring at it like it might swallow him whole if he took another step closer. Saiya drew her attention and softly said, “I think perhaps you should talk to him. I’ll be in Rayna’s room for a bit. You can come get us if you need to, but I feel like he needs his best friend right now.”
She silently nodded, and as the twins walked to the other side of the hall to disappear into the Shatter Bard’s room, she moved to stand beside Uriel and said, “I know Daze said you didn’t like your room, and you mentioned needing space… do you want to just stay in mine for a while?”
He shook his head as he answered, “No, I think this is something I need to face if I want to be able to stand beside you as the Chosen of Destroyer.” Uriel glanced down at her and asked, “Will you stay with me, though?”
Phoenix slipped her hand into his and said simply, “Always.”