Green Mouse [https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pw/AP1GczNGgWO8uIeUL4y-ugtuSHtU2xQJ_h6liXhbEC-odv1ahx_lw92fhWdfgxYE8fsKulQ5LQNd9yxQ_XcmXbk6EJ3cvoH3YnAFCQds5IAcZs3FMksr5LlIICS8fnJar0aGZl7ye801K20GNj7Nl0g7lz5a=w661-h992-s-no-gm?authuser=0]
Dazien tried to hold Phoenix back from making a rash choice. He had tried to warn her. He hadn’t been fast enough. He hadn’t been clear enough with his orders. He hadn’t been trusted enough… again.
“Catch her!” Phoenix had shouted at him through his [Noble Subjects] ability. Apparently, she had trusted him enough to follow her orders but not the other way around. He hadn’t had the chance to contemplate or dwell on that at the time, though.
As he focused on carefully catching Saiya after Phoenix flung her through the air, he realized too late what Phoenix was chanting as he recognized the familiar movement of her lips with his zoomed-in sight.
He tried to call out, both out loud and over his communication network, “Phoenix! Stop! Don’t blast the ship!” He even empowered the command with his Royal Voice in the hopes it would interrupt her.
The explosion of mana washed over them, the ship under them was sundered, the tentacle that made him and Saiya tumble through the air, her gentle hand just barely beyond his reach, his only thought before he plunged into the icy water had been an order to his Familiar. “Save her!”
The water was so cold, and his heavy armor quickly pulled him deeper into its depths.
He returned the equipment back to his [Armory], leaving him in just his silver under armor, and attempted to navigate back up to the surface. The thrashing of tentacles, ripples of energy from broken enchantments, and splashing of debris made the waters a maelstrom of chaos, danger, and pain. He wasn’t even sure which way was ‘up’ at this point.
His next thought was of Uriel.
His partner had been with Camilla and no longer had him there to be their shield. He hoped they had merely been thrown by the force of the ship’s destruction and were somewhere further away in the water and not dragged below the waves.
Dazien’s following thought was of Phoenix. She would be near death, if not dead already, after using her most destructive ability. He hadn’t gotten the message signaling her death, though, so she should be alive somewhere. If she had fallen into the water, then she would be at risk of getting flayed by a stray swat from the monster as much as he was.
His eyes scanned under the water as he fought to swim upwards, but it was extremely dark, and his vision didn’t grant him the night sight that his sister had. He could see much farther than normal, but darkness was still a thick veil to him.
He panicked for only a moment when something very large and green swam past him in the water, and he wondered if yet another monster had joined the fray. The murky waters had made the creature difficult to make out, though, as it swam near a patch of even darker water near the sea monster.
Dazien finally resurfaced and tried to take stock of the damage, but it was near impossible to tell with wreckage all around him, most things ablaze with scorching flames, and more waves being caused as the Emerald Caste monster now battled with two Emerald Caste Captains that were also fighting each other it seemed.
The sounds were just as chaotic as the sights, with screams, roars, and more explosions filling any silence left between the crashing of ocean waves.
When he zoomed his vision towards the ongoing battle to see how Captain Clisson specifically was faring, he saw that the monster had managed to grab the enemy pirate captain with a tentacle and spit a stream of green liquid at him before shoving him into the wide mouth Dazien had last seen Phoenix in.
“Rex!” he managed to call out, knowing he needed to put distance between him and the monster, and searching the sky in hopes of spotting his Familiar. He could sense Rex heading his way, and when he finally caught sight of him, he was dismayed to see that Saiya wasn’t on his back anymore. Had something happened to her?
Rex dove into the water below him to help lift him from the sea. His large wings struggled to try and get clear of the roiling waves, still not quite used to acting as a flying mount since they had rarely required it, with only being able to carry one or two of them at a time.
Still, the lion-like chimera managed to lift out of the waves and rise above them, which helped Dazien get a clearer view of the resulting destruction from the [Supernova] —the hope of victory it promised left unfulfilled.
He was relieved to see a large white lotus the size of a small cottage floating away from the battle, pushed along by the turbulent waves. Saiya was alive, and hopefully, the others were with her.
The effects of the lotus, however, cut off the chance of communicating, and the other members were unresponsive, either too far away already, which was concerning, or unconscious, which was even more worrisome as they would be unable to defend themselves from attack.
Perhaps I should go after the lotus and stay with—
His thoughts were interrupted as what he feared might happen to the others happened to him, and another thrashing tentacle slammed into him and Rex.
His Familiar tried to shield him from the devastating blow and took the brunt of the damage as he tilted in the air. Rex didn’t survive the blow that time, his vessel disintegrating into sapphire blue ashes almost immediately, and Dazien was sent flying into the water once more.
As Dazien resurfaced this time, he was fairly certain he had broken a leg that time as it got caught between his Familiar and the crushing blow of the monster. At least he had been knocked further away from the battle this time and wasn’t in the forest of tentacles any longer.
It was only another minute or two later, as he tried his best to keep swimming away from the fighting that the storm seemed to have dissipated. He was still struggling amongst the massive waves made from the Emerald battle, but the rain had stopped, and the water wasn’t quite as treacherous out where he was.
That was when he noticed the other ship.
The crimson vessel was much closer now, and when he zoomed in his sight he could see them fishing other people out of the water who had also been knocked away. He turned to swim away from that mess and, unfortunately, saw another much smaller vessel floating towards him.
A small dinghy carrying a group of enemy pirates made its way across the settling waves, and he conjured his sword. He wouldn’t be able to swim with his shield, so his best hope would be to somehow get aboard the tiny watercraft without being stabbed in the sea by the enemy.
His mind started laying out the steps he would need to take next. Wait for them to close the distance, board and fight, take the boat, then get—
He found himself outplayed, however, as instead of meeting him with a blade, one of the other Sapphire Casters had an ability that cast a net over him, sending electric shocks throughout his body.
Already heavily at a disadvantage from the fight aboard the ship, then getting backhanded out of the sky, unconsciousness quickly claimed the trapped Defender, who was being electrocuted in the icy sea.
When his senses returned, they were dulled, and he could barely move as he tried to look around but found himself blindfolded. Dazien could feel the weight of a Silencer around his neck and wrists. It was a sensation he wasn’t soon to forget after his last run-in with the Maniac’s cult. However, he was not used to being the one completely tied up and unable to see anything. He hated it.
He knew knots pretty well, though, and these ones seemed rather shabby as he twisted and got a hand free to reach up and lift the blindfold. He found himself on his side at the bottom of the dinghy.
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As he looked up towards his pirate captor, and the movement caught their attention, a boot to the face followed by some sort of liquid being forced down his throat sent him straight back into the darkness he had awoken from.
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Phoenix pulled her swords that had been pinning her foe out of the icy tree with a glowing hand as blue ashes fell around her. Ren had been doing well to avoid most of the threats so far and, at her own request, had begun leading them to the lesser threats so that Phoenix could continue training as they went.
Tala had been having fun flying around with Ren and exploring with someone who seemed to understand the Familiar even better than she did. They cheerfully twittered at each other in birdsong that her translation power apparently couldn’t keep up with at all.
She had wondered if she could understand animal languages now after her weird encounter with understanding Bliss’ meowing, but the only answer she came up with on that front was that Bliss’ had been communicating with her more like how a Familiar did, rather than pure animal speak.
As she watched Tala looking happier than she normally did around Phoenix, her mind unhelpfully wandered back to Saiya’s words about how Snowbelle might be with a better summoner now. There were probably countless realities and souls spread among them. Was she really the best fit for Tala?
“You may not be the best, but you’re enough for me,” Tala gently replied to her thoughts. “Finding compatible souls is difficult. Neither of us may be perfect for each other, but if we waited for perfection, then we would likely be even more alone.”
Phoenix felt a little better about that but wondered what that might mean for her future. She found that battle helped her process things a bit better, helping her thoughts separate from her anxiety and tendency to overthink. Trying to push away the “what ifs” and focusing on the “what is” instead also helped to calm and center her. The future always seemed so… impossible to her.
The past, however, gave her different worries.
Phoenix recognized that she regretted her actions despite thinking they were the only answer at the time. She saw how rash she had been and took the time now, without extra distractions to occupy her focus, to contemplate how she should have reacted and plan for how to change that for the future. She could have done as Tala suggested and used Daze as an immovable anchor to pull Saiya back to them. She could have waited until she was actually in its guts before attempting to explode it. She could have tried to push herself out of the monster’s mouth before it chewed instead of trying to blow it up….
She had felt pushed non-stop since first arriving in this world. She had to get stronger. Learn more and more. Fight harder and more fervently. Struggle constantly to win.
It had gotten so bad that she felt that if she didn’t go to extremes, then she wasn’t offering the best she could, and that was unacceptable.
But the extreme wasn’t always the best answer.
Dazien and the others had often told her to trust them more—that she didn’t always need to make the sacrifice play. When did she forget that? Why couldn’t she get it through her thick skull to stop being so reckless?
Finally taking the time to examine these habits that she had been slowly developing forced her to reconcile with certain things she had been ignoring. Why was she always choosing the most extreme option?
Because I’m afraid, she admitted to herself as she turned to begin walking toward the next monster in the unpurged forest.
Because I don’t want them to think I’m weak…
She kicked at a loose icicle branch that had fallen from a tree into the snowy path she walked along, idly listening to the birdsong ahead of her.
Because I don’t want them to think I’m not worth keeping around… That thought caused her to pause. Was this how Uriel felt all the time? He had admitted as much when voicing his fears about being the Chosen of Destroyer, but was it deeper than just the mark on his arm? Was she wrong in the same way she knew he was?
She knew he was worth keeping beside her, but did he feel the same way about her? Would he reassure her that she was worthy of being his best friend, or would he realize after this latest mistake how much of a mess she was? He didn’t seem to like messy things… He had balked at the chaos of his room, avoided it, and seemed to hate how it all clashed… Would he hate her when he saw the chaos within her?
She glanced around the now quiet forest and didn’t see or hear anyone.
It seemed like Ren and Tala had flown off somewhere beyond her senses.
She was alone.
All of her fears and worries about being left with nobody beside her, and she had been the one to cause it.
Her reckless actions to keep her friends close —to not curse them like she had cursed her mentor— would be what drove them away at this rate. She was off balance. Her fears and anxiety were causing her to overcompensate. How could she regain her equilibrium? Did she really ever have it in the first place? Maybe she couldn’t control that chaos in her soul…
Phoenix dropped to her knees, the silence of the arctic woods creeping up on her as though it would devour her in isolation. She had been alone before. She often found comfort in the quiet solitude, reading, tinkering, and thinking, but this was different. She didn’t want to feel this… loneliness.
When she opened her eyes again, both Tala and a small green mouse were looking up at her from the snowy path. The mouse shifted a moment later into the crouching form of the androgynous daekin that had been guiding her, and Ren gave her an awkward look before carefully reaching a hand out to pat the top of her head gently as they said, “There, there.”
Phoenix snorted a laugh through the tears that had slowly made their way down her cheeks at the ridiculous, adorably awkward moment. As she rubbed the wetness away with a sleeve, she said, “Sorry. I… I just don’t understand.”
“Ren help?” they asked uncertainly as they mirrored her pose and held their own knees to their chest.
“I’m… I’m usually okay with being alone. I’ve gone days without talking to my friends or family before and never felt… like this. Even after Paul was cursed… my friends were there to support me. It’s only been a week, but I miss them so much, and I don’t even know if they’re safe. I don’t know… if they’ll be happy to see me again,” she admitted, burying her face into her hands, trying to keep from crying more.
She sensed the daekin move closer as they began petting her head once more while speaking softly, “Loneliness is not felt in solitude but in moments. Moments that Ren wants to share, but no one is there to understand.” Phoenix glanced up, and the shifter gave her a gentle smile, “Moments where Ren felt more alone surrounded by people in city than with Ren’s Familiar in middle of forest.”
The sentiment resonated with her, and the feeling of loneliness eased. As Phoenix realized the truth of the words, she asked, “You’re here though, and you understand?”
Ren nodded and confirmed, “Phoenix not alone.”
“Then why do I feel like I am?”
The daekin shrugged slightly and asked, “Does Phoenix want friends understand instead of Ren?”
She contemplated that for a moment, then silently nodded.
The shifter gave a lopsided smile and said, “Then Ren will get Phoenix to friends faster.”
Phoenix gave a broken laugh, shaking her head at the absurd simplicity that Ren seemed to be able to break everything down into. She was surprised by them often and the daekin’s next words weren’t any different in this regard, “Tell Ren about friends?”
A small smile made its way across her lips as she thought of them and said, “Well, first, there’s my best friend, Uriel. He’s so warm and always knows how to make me feel better. Then there’s my brother, Dazien. He’s smart and likes to learn new things like I do. He…”
Her thoughts wandered back to that horrible nightmare she had of him on her first night separated from them, and she quietly said, “He always does his best to support me—even when I don’t always deserve it. He acts like a shield against everything that might hurt me… and he never makes me feel guilty about that. He’s the best brother I could have asked for.”
She took a deep breath and shook her head before smiling again, “Then there’s Saiya and Rayna. They’re twin sisters and so opposite in so many ways, but they both do their best to support me, too. Saiya is amazing at helping me calm down and talking things out. Rayna is great about helping me not to get too depressed. She’s funny and always moving; she doesn’t give me time to sit and wallow when there’s an adventure for us to go on… I—”
Phoenix buried her face in her arms, “I really wish they were all here with me now. I didn’t realize how much I’ve come to depend on them.”
Ren gave her a curious look, tilting their head slightly and saying, “Ren doesn’t depend. Ren does what Ren does. Friends may join, but friends don’t choose for Ren. What choice does Phoenix seek?”
She pondered that idea for a moment, partially trying to puzzle out Ren’s meaning with that statement, and it was Uriel’s words that made her realize what the daekin was getting at.
Ren didn’t choose to depend on anyone. They only depended on thierself and still had friends they might spend time with, but they didn’t choose to rely on them for anything. That was how she thought that she was also meant to behave —how she was meant to see her companions. She thought that she needed to be a strong and independent person who could stand and fight all on her own…
Uriel had mentioned before that there was only one choice he only ever felt certain about. She had balked at his words at that time, honestly thinking he was choosing weakness out of some traumatic fear he held. He had chosen Dazien to choose for him. He depended on him.
Without her even noticing, she had chosen to depend on all of them as well.
“I’m seeking my friends…” she finally replied to Ren’s question, “I’m not invincible. I’m stronger with them beside me. I don’t depend on them for everything, but they keep me propped up. They’re the pillars that keep my fears from collapsing on top of me.”
She met Ren’s eyes and firmly stated, “I choose them.”