Voices reached my ears like from very far away. I couldn't make any sense of the fragments of the conversation that penetrated the haze of my mind. One of these voices belonged to Kaele. I was pretty certain of that. The others were trolls, two of them if I wasn't mistaken, and they sounded old. They sounded like an old couple as well but that might just be my imagination. They probably were talking about me and my condition but somehow I couldn't quite bring myself to care. They might as well have been talking about someone else entirely. The temptation was great to just give myself up to the sea of darkness that was surrounding me. I just had to give up and all the pain would just go away. It took all the mental effort I could muster to fight against that tempting urge.
It was not easy to keep my feverish mind focused enough. It didn't get any easier as the voices of the old trolls turned into a weird, deep sing song that seemed to reverberate within my bones. It seemed to tug on my very soul. Should I give in to that tug? Should I follow its direction? Where would it lead me? I was uncertain. It probably would be better than waiting in the darkness any longer though. No, waiting in the darkness that was just waiting to swallow me whole was not an option. Thus I made up my mind and as the troll song reverberated in my mind again I let it take me and followed its pull. Wherever I was going, I was approaching my destination fast. The troll voices faded but they were not replaced by silence. Instead some other voices, familiar and yet strange, now reached my ears.
These new voices drew nearer and became clearer. At the same time the darkness surrounding me receded. It didn't completely disappear though. I blinked and all of a sudden I stood at the edge of the light at a shallow depression in the rocky ground. I could finally see who these new voices belonged to as well. There were four women. Three of them were busy painting beautiful pictures with colorful sand while the forth, an old woman, her horns brittle from age and her back bending under the weight of the years, was standing off to my side, leaning heavily on a broom. It didn't appear as if they took notice of my presence at all. All four of them stayed focused on the sand images. Should I speak up and make my presence known to them? Or not? What was up with those pictures anyway? And why did they use sand to fashion them?
“Are you quite done yet?” It was the old crone who spoke up and her words were addressed at the other three. “Can I sweep up the whole mess? She seems just about done for after all.”
It was the youngest, a girl that was not yet a woman, who looked up to tell the old woman off. “No. She is still clinging on. As long as she won't give up we won't either.” She sounded like a child too. And with that said she went back to the picture she was painting right now, letting a drizzle of colorful sand rain to the ground in just the right spot.
I moved a little closer, careful not to disturb any of the other images they had already finished, to get a better look. Right now they were painting two old, no, two downright ancient trolls, a woman and a man, standing next to a demon woman resting on a stone slab in between them. It took me a moment that that was me, lying there. And not because their art was sloppy. No quite to the contrary. The pictures were sharp and detailed like you wouldn't expect from something painted with sand. That only made the experience more surreal though.
My breath caught in my throat and I quickly took a step back again, both to not disturb the women as they worked and to take a look at the other images. The heavily pregnant woman kneeling in between the two others looked up at that, briefly smiling in my direction before turning her attention back to the piece of art in the making.
Carefully watching my step I followed the line of images that led into an ever smaller, impossible spiral. There was the fight at Kor'za's pyre. The burning forest and the pyre depicted in vivid detail. I went further back until I came across our fight against the wyvern. The very lifelike picture of the beast alone was enough to send a shiver down my spine.
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I walked past my last fight with Agar'zan, it ending with my brother standing triumphant over my bruised body, and although I didn't pay that picture much attention it made me wince. At times I smiled and at times I frowned as I walked further down memory lane. It left me with a bittersweet feeling.
Were these truly pictures depicting my memories? I wasn't entirely sure. I had almost reached the end of the line of sand pictures when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. “They are not your memories. These are the world's memories of you.” It was the third woman who had been painting with the young girl and the mother to be. She had ribbons in her hair and on her horns and was wearing a rather colorful tunic one might wear for a festival of some sort. She looked at me with concern showing clearly on her face. “Are you sure you want to go further down that path? You might learn things you wish you hadn't.”
I looked at her with big eyes, my heart beating a tad faster. I had reached the point where my own memories of my childhood were riddled with holes. And even those episodes I could recall were rather fuzzy. I looked down at the sand paintings. By contrast those were sharp and clear. She withdrew her hand from my shoulder. “But if you want to have a look I won't stop you. It is your life and your choice.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. I really wanted to know. I glanced in the direction of the others briefly and kept going further down memory lane. I kept going until I reached I series of pictures that stopped me dead in my tracks. There was mother. She was younger than I remembered her and she was wearing the armor of the king's guard. There was another woman as well. She was tall. Much taller than mother. Almost as tall as the man with the impressive horns in the background. There were some others around them as well, but none of them really drew my attention. As I stared at the picture I took me a moment to realize that I was the infant the tall woman was lovingly cradling in her arms.
My heart missed a beat as my gaze wandered to the next image in this sequence. There was pain etched into the face of the tall woman. Pain and a feeling of loss so deep that it brought tears to my eyes. And then she handed me off to mother. Mother who was already holding a baby. That was Kaele, I realized. A confusing mix of emotions welled up within me as I tried to make sense of what I saw.
Before I could work it out though I felt a hand on my shoulder again. “I told you. But don't fret. You'll figure out how to really feel about it in time.” With these words she pulled me into an embrace. “Just remember, whatever you do, be passionate and compassionate about it.” She pulled back again and flashed me another smile. “For now let us focus on the task at hand though. We have to figure out what is wrong with you.”
I couldn't help but return her smile as she took me by the hand to lead me back towards the others who were studying the more recent events in my life. She didn't lead me back in a straight line though. Instead she pulled me into a whirling dance and although there was no music I could feel the rhythm in the depth of my heart and danced along.
“Aha!” As we reached the others the young girl let out a cry of triumph. Her hand stabbed down at the image of me facing off against the ghoul, his sword in my side as I struck at him at the same time. The girl plucked a single grain of black sand from the picture on the ground. “I got it! Seems our sister managed to sneak a nasty curse past us!”
And as the Maiden picked up that cursed grain of sand the pain that had made me miserable just vanished. At the same time the darkness that had been lingering at the very edge of my awareness howled in anger. It drew closer again, like a storm of utter rage. The Lover pulled me close again as if to shelter me. “You caught her attention by defeating her pawns. We thwarted her curse but she won't just give up.” Then, to my great surprise, she planted a kiss on my lips. “Live, love and fight, with all your heart. And never ever give up!”
At the same time the Crone swung her broom at the encroaching darkness and the world around me was swept away. With a gasp my eyes flew open and I sat up on the stone slab I had been resting on to stare at the people surrounding me.