My name is Edgar Bauer. I’m 24, but right now I feel a few decades older. In the end, it took about five hours before that zealot finally got off my back, and I had to spend all that time memorizing mantras while my knees were on the hard concrete floor. Suffice to say, my legs are killing me. If that wasn’t bad enough, that crazy bitch filled my head with so much ‘Ovha this’ and ‘Supreme Goddess that’ that I keep hearing it even now. I wonder if it was some brainwashing technique. No, given who she was, that’s definitely the case. Michael got stuck praying with me, but he isn’t wobbling all over the place like I am. He’s probably used to it. Unless…
“What’s your secret, kid?”
“Hm? What secret?”
“Don’t your knees feel like jelly?”
“Oh, that? I stitched little pads on the inside of my trousers. They’re like tiny pillows.”
“Wow. I don’t know if that’s clever or sad.”
“It’s necessary when you live with Sister Agatha.”
“Really? She makes you kneel that much often?”
Sounds like child abuse, to be honest.
“Only when I misbehave.”
“A lot, then?”
“A lot, yeah.”
The two of us are scouting ahead as usual. The rain didn’t let up until noon, but we gave it another hour or so for any loose or shifted rubble to settle before we set out again. Honestly, we should’ve waited until everything dried, but there’s no telling how long that’ll take with those heavy clouds blocking the sun. At least it doesn’t seem like it’ll rain again anytime soon. Just gotta be extra careful not to slip on any of the moist rocks or concrete chunks and we’ll be just fine.
It’s about five in the afternoon when we make it to the crater’s edge above our actual target. The weather’s a bit better now. Clouds are still there, but the coverage is spottier and we sometimes catch a stray sunbeam. This area used to be palace grounds so it’s clear of tall buildings and we don’t have to mind our heads. Wind’s our biggest issue. I don’t know what made it, but the crater’s wall is sheer and steep, almost vertical. Only way to reach the exposed basements or vaults or whatever they are is to rappel down the side and this stiff breeze is going to make that difficult. On the upside, we don’t need to worry about climbing gear. It’s our biggest expedition yet, so we packed plenty of that for everyone. Or rather, invested in it. It’s the high-grade stuff so it was expensive as hell. I really need this place to live up to my expectations loot-wise or this expedition might end with us in the red.
After a bit of deliberation we decided to send five people down there to scope the place out. Obviously, I’m included. Why is it obvious? Not a clue. Personally, I’d rather not risk breaking my neck if I can avoid it, but my name got thrown around so much I can’t really back out at this point. Mark’s the second ‘obvious’ choice, though this one I agree with. He’s really come into his own as a rubble-remover. He’s still a demo-man at heart, but I think he enjoys clearing messes as much as he does making them. For better or worse, we weren’t able to find any explosives for him. This is a demilitarized zone, so even procuring bullets for our rifles is somewhat of a challenge. And yes, we brought those. You never know when you might run into a wild animal or some ‘aggressive competition’ out here. I know the sister is with us and the brat trusts her with his life, but the rest of us don’t wanna rely on that ticking time bomb if we can help it.
On that note, she is also coming down with us. She insisted, and none of us have the balls to say no. She’s gotten a lot pushier ever since I came up with that ‘assistant treasure-sniffer’ bullshit, and I’m kind of scared to revoke it at this point. I’ll do it later, when we actually make it back to Broketown. Honestly, though, I probably would’ve asked her to tag along anyway since she has some idea of what to expect, even if she won’t tell us straight. I get the feeling that’s probably for the best. Need-to-know basis and all that. Oh, and another thing we both agree on is that the little twerp’s staying on top. With all due respect to our expert treasure-sniffer, this is the sister’s show.
For the fourth member of our advance team we have Viktor. Having a medic along seemed prudent, but Jerry’s a Jerry and therefore can’t be trusted not to touch anything he shouldn’t, so Viktor’s the next best choice. And lastly we have Johan, a sharpshooter and safecracker. Hopefully his secondary skill-set will prove far more necessary than his primary. As for how he acquired such a suspicious expertise, well… Only an idiot deserts His Majesty’s Imperial Armed Forces with empty pockets, and we tried our best to be smart about it. I think we’ve done pretty well for ourselves so far. Mostly because we got lucky and abandoned our post at the right time. Any sooner and we’d have probably been tracked down and executed on the spot. Any later and we’d have died in a ‘valiant last stand’ against the clearly winning side. Instead, we’re on the fast track to earning ourselves proper citizenship in whatever government takes over from the provisional one.
Okay, let’s stop fantasizing and focus up a bit.
“Remember, gentlemen. Eyes on the prize, but nose to the ground. Let’s move out!”
“Oorah!”
With all our prep done and a few extra hands minding our ropes’ anchors, we begin rappelling down the crater wall. As expected, the wind’s pushing us around a bit, but it’s not as bad as we expected. Though there is that other matter that is progressing exactly as poorly as we anticipated. Namely, a certain someone who decided that a habit with very little underneath was appropriate attire for scaling the side of a windy cliff.
“Ah! Nooo! Don’t look!”
We don’t call her Flashbang for nothing. To be clear, at least three of us told her this would happen and warned her to at least put on some trousers or something, but she refused and insisted it would be fine. Clearly, it is not fine, but at least she hasn’t fallen off. Not yet, anyway.
“Alright, that’s quite… enough!”
While holding onto the rope with one hand, she used the other to swing a piece of rusty rebar with full force. Wait, where the fuck did she get that?! It’s as long as she is tall! Was she hiding it up her sleeve or something?! And what’s the point of swinging it around like that?! It’s not going to do anything, or so I assumed, yet the wind stopped altogether. Huh. Correlation, or causation?
“Uh… Edgar?”
“Don’t ask me,” I shake my head at Viktor. “Let’s just get to the bottom while we have the chance.”
“Good idea.”
We do so without further incident, and by now us guys are too afraid to ask where that rebar came from or where it went after. Though, thinking back, I recall something similar happened before. The pipe that sent Jaeger’s kneecaps on vacation about a month ago. It also appeared out of nowhere, didn’t it? I have a sneaking suspicion I know what her deal is, but if it’s the power I’m thinking of, this is by far its strangest and most terrifying implementation. Then again, what else did I expect from the Supreme Butcher herself?
For now I turn my attention to the giant slab of reinforced concrete we’re all standing on. It’s sticking out of the side of the crater like a gigantic half-buried matchbox. Whatever exposed this structure to the sky also blew off a huge portion of the outer vault wall, giving us an obvious way inside. Issue is, it’s still a drop roughly equal to the one I took at the police station, but with no convenient car to break my fall. Getting back up would be difficult as well. We can probably just keep using the ropes we rappelled down with, but I worry they’ll fray if they move around too much against that jagged edge. Especially if we have to drag a bunch of heavy stuff back up. That’s what the pitons are for – I think, I’m no expert – but I doubt we can drive those extra-thick needles into whatever this vault’s ceiling is made of.
No, wait, there’s definitely someone here who can do it.
“Sister, I’d like a favor.”
Bit of a gamble, but if I’m not wrong about her power, it should work out.
*CRACK*
“Is this good enough, my child?”
“Uhh…”
I know it was my idea, but I didn’t expect her to just jab it in there with her bare hand. She made it look so effortless, like putting a knife through a fresh loaf of bread, yet when I grab the piton to check its stability I get the distinct impression nobody’s ever moving that thing again. Like it’s not just jabbed in there. It’s practically fused to the concrete-like material, like it’s always been that way. I knew Ovha’s Natural Order was absurd but… No, let’s not stress over the details.
“That’ll do. My thanks, sister.”
“You’re very welcome, my child.”
Like that, we’re finally able to enter what’s left of the Emperor’s vaults. The interior is dark beyond a few paces in, like staring into a cave, yet I see some weird glints in the blackness that almost seem like movement.
“Lights out!”
We flick our flashlights on and I nearly go blind. I don’t know if that’s marble or whatever, but every stone surface in sight is polished to a mirror-like finish and has a gold-adjacent tint. The electric torchlight bounces around so much that we only need one to fully illuminate the massive chamber. Seriously, I had a feeling it was big, but you could probably fit the sister’s entire chapel in here five times over and still have room for a picnic. That damn Emperor. He really didn’t know the meaning of restraint, did he? Let’s not even mention how shiny the place is even after two years’ worth of dust flowing in from the outside.
All of that aside, the articles stored here are not quite what I expected. I didn’t think the vault would have heaps of gold and jewels like some dragon’s hoard. The Great War touched every corner of the globe, and the Washein Empire was notorious for pilfering all kinds of stuff wherever it went. I imagined the shitty emperor’s private collection would be filled with historical artifacts, exotic relics, and one-of-a-kind art pieces that were put up on display like a museum. And there’s plenty of that stuff for sure. Looking around, I see dozens of pedestals, plaques, and stands decorated with statues, vases, paintings, murals, and tablets. Among the relics are a fair few weapons – swords, guns, cannons, and is that an entire fucking tank? How the hell did they get that in here? There’s no way it fits in any door or elevator. Did they drive it through the wall and plug up the hole after? Well, realistically they probably had it disassembled and reassembled, but my first idea seemed like more fun, so I’ll choose to believe that until proven otherwise.
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The museum-like stuff is definitely eye-catching, but the bulk of the vault’s contents appear to be books. Shelves upon shelves stretch out floor-to-ceiling, all of them loaded with all manner of tomes still sitting firmly in place. Whatever made that crater back there caused a fair bit of structural damage and ruined several a few of the artifacts, but the books are caged in, so they’re only a bit rattled and disheveled instead of spilled all over the cracked floor. I still have some trouble wrapping my head around it. What’s the point of–
“Knowledge is power, guard it well.”
I was gawking around a bit too much, so I was a bit startled when the sister addressed my obvious confusion.
“… I see. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“That’s great and all, but what do we do now?”
Mark raises a very good question. Now that I’m looking at them, a lot of this stuff will be difficult to transport. Books are portable but dense, and that cultural stuff is clearly fragile. No way we’ll ever get it all out of the crater – let alone back to the less-ruined part of civilization – without breaking everything into a million pieces.
“I’ve got some ideas, but first, Sister Agatha?”
“Yes, my child?”
“See anything that the Goddess thinks is… unnecessary?”
“I… shall ask for Her guidance,” she hesitates a bit. “It has been a while since I was bold enough to request anything of Her Grace, so I ask that you bear with me.”
She kneels with hands clasped, and in stark contrast to what she told me this morning, she actually starts praying. I only get a split-second to wonder if I should stop her. It’s not enough as a sense of tranquility washes over me, forcing me to keep both my hands and my tongue to myself.
“Oh, exalted Ovha, radiant beacon of Order and Justice,
Let your divine winds sweep away deceit,
And reveal the hidden truths that dwell in shadow.”
A gentle draft stirs around the sister, making her hair and headdress and skirt flutter ever-so-slightly. The boys and I are standing a fair bit away, so it takes a little bit for the breeze to reach us. It’s… warm.
“In your name, let falsehoods crumble and masks fall,
Illuminate the path of righteousness with your guiding hand,
So that we may walk in the pure light of honesty.”
Floating white dots like fireflies begin to emerge from cracks in the shiny stone ground around the sister’s kneeling form. Every echoing word makes their number and radiance grow and dance across the walls and ceiling. It’s like we’re inside a river of stars. It’s… beautiful.
“Supreme Goddess, who holds the scales of balance,
Grant us your sacred vision to unveil the truth,
And restore harmony to all by your eternal grace.”
The motes catch on the breeze and spiral outwards toward us. They fly into our faces, soaking into our skin like snowflakes. We don’t even think to look away or stop them. I feel like we should be. It’s… painful.
“Through your humble servants,
May thy will be done,
Now and forevermore.
Amen.”
And like that, the weird trance we all were under suddenly ends, and we instantly start rolling around on the floor.
“My eyes!”
“AAAARGH!”
“What the fuck?!”
“Crazy bitch!”
While screaming, of course.
“Though I am out of practice, your discomfort is your own fault,” I hear her stern voice. “If you weren’t such godless heathens, Lady Ovha’s power would have flowed through you more smoothly. You should be grateful She did not see fit to punish you for your lack of devotion.”
“This isn’t what we talked about!”
I snap back without thinking, vision still white even though my eyes are shut tight. It burns so bad it feels like I got splashed with acid.
“Is it not? Did you not specifically request we defer these relics’ judgment to the Supreme Goddess Herself?”
Ah, crap. I did, didn’t I?
“Fuck you, Edgar!”
“Seriously, what were you thinking!?”
“MY! FUCKING! EYES!”
The boys are right to be upset. There is frankly nothing I can say. But, if I were to answer Mark’s question, I wasn’t thinking about this all. I meant what I said this morning in a more metaphorical sense, that ‘Ovha’s guidance’ would just be her intuition or whatever. I didn’t imagine the crazy bitch would come out and invoke literal divine power. In hindsight, I should have. We’re talking about someone so impossibly obsessed with her Goddess that it’s literally all she ever thinks about. She probably pisses holy water for all I know!
Can I have some?
Fuck off, Inner Jerry!
Sorry.
Okay, let’s calm down. This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten a blessing. It just caught me off guard because she started chanting out of nowhere, and it’s especially potent to boot. Just need to stop fighting it and accept it. Easier said than done. It hurts, so I instinctively reject it, which only makes the pain worse. It’s like a bad muscle cramp. Just need to… ease off… breathe… breathe… there we go.
“Ugh… you dickheads alright?” I call out to the others. “Eyes still intact?”
“Getting there.”
“More or less.”
“Would appreciate a little more warning next time, Sister.”
“Apologies, Mr. Johan. I may have been more eager to converse with Lady Ovha than I anticipated.”
As my vision clears, I find myself no longer needing the flashlight. Not because the blessing lets me see in the dark, but because I can now perceive the sister’s aura. I see a halo of light around her head that is so bright that it feels like I’m staring into the sun. A gigantic set of scales looms above and behind her, balanced on the tip of a standing sword. One side is golden and is receiving a steady flow of glowing dust that floats out of the sister’s head. The other half looks filthy and rusted and seems to accumulate some ominous black spots that appear out of thin air and get sucked into the dangling dish. The scales as a whole wobble ever-so-slightly, yet the delicate balance is maintained. I can only guess as to what exactly I’m looking at, but glancing back at the woman’s halo, there is one thing I do not doubt.
Sister Agatha is a disaster whose absolute faith in the Supreme Goddess gives her so much power that she may be literally invincible.
“How is it, my child? Has the Goddess revealed the truth unto your unworthy eyes?”
“… Give me a moment.”
I peel my eyes away from the terrifyingly beautiful spectacle and glance around at the other sources of light in the room. About half of the relics and books are wrapped in either a blue or red glow that varies in intensity. Though it’s my first time experiencing this kind of blessing, I already know what it means even without the obvious color coding. It’s telling me to retrieve the blue ones and destroy the red ones, and the rest are irrelevant. I can even get a sense of what each item is and represents if I focus on it a bit. Incidentally, all my buddies look normal except for the short beams of white light pouring from their eyes. I’m going to guess they see the same when they look at me or each other.
“This is perfect. Send your Lady Ovha my thanks, sister.”
“Send them yourself, you coward.”
“I would, but I’m a godless heathen, so I’m not sure I’m qualified for that.”
“… Very well. I shall do as you ask.”
Out of curiosity, I take a quick peek at her and notice a slight increase in the stream of motes that flow out of her head and into the right-hand side of her scales, which immediately makes it wobble.
“Hatchoo!”
*CRASH*
And then she sneezes, causing the display case next to her to shatter and shred the ancient document within. Correlation, or causation?
“Oh, dear! That can’t be good,” she panics a bit. “I’ll fix it right away!”
“It’s fine, sister. That’s one of the bad ones.”
“Ah, then the Supreme Goddess guides me even now?”
She immediately perks up, but it’s that bad-news grin, so I’m immediately wary of her. Well, more than usual.
“… Sure, yeah, let’s go with that. Alright, you lot! Let’s make two general piles while our eyes still work. We’ll figure out the logistics after that.”
We get busy sorting the records and relics, though as I suspected, the ‘do not want’ side is growing at a much faster rate than the other one. I’m guessing that the shitty emperor stole a whole bunch of priceless artifacts and state secrets without anyone realizing it. Indeed, I’m pretty sure I saw some of the elf gods’ symbols on one of those ancient stone tablets. The bulk of the red stuff is documents and ledgers. Despite myself, I can’t help but be curious as to what’s inside. The blessing uses my idle thoughts to kindly inform me they’re mainly political blackmail materials. Always wondered how the Washein Empire’s allies got roped into their world domination scheme, and this is probably part of it. Best not reopen old wounds. Wait, why is this tiny journal glowing so much brighter than the thick tomes? Oh, it’s a true account of a rewritten part of history from three centuries ago. Wait, that’s who really killed that pope?! Yeah… that’s definitely gonna cause a political clusterfuck or two if it gets out, so let’s just pretend I didn’t see any of that and toss it on the ‘do not want’ pile.
As we scour the archives in the vault, I can’t help but notice something a bit amiss. A rectangular section of the wall has a faint greenish outline around it. The hell? I get close and tap on it a few times. A secret door. Seriously? That shitty emperor really went all out, huh? How many taxes went into constructing something as pointless as a vault within a vault? I can’t help but roll my eyes. Brother, if you want something hidden that badly, just bury it in the desert or something. Wait, why did I just call the emperor ‘brother’ in my head? Ugh, let’s chalk it up to the faulty sister’s blessing and check what’s behind the secret door. I’m getting a headache as-is and if I would rather not spend a week or two in a coma for holding onto the divine power for too long.
With that in mind, let’s skip the formalities.
“Mark, get your sledgehammer and come over here.”
A few minutes and a dozen repeated strikes later, the secret door is an obvious pile of rubble.
“That was quick.”
“I know, right?” he grins at me. “This true-sight thing tells me exactly where the weak points are. I could probably crack open that tank back there if I wanted to.”
“That’s not a bad idea, actually. Might be something good hidden inside, like a radio or other electronics.”
Those are always premium salvage regardless of their historical significance.
“Good call. I’ll get on that.”
As for what potentially terrible secret we just uncovered, I got no idea. All I see is a little alcove smaller than a broom closet, and the only thing inside is a solid steel box on a drape-covered pedestal. Can’t tell what it’s supposed to be and the only thing I’m getting from Ovha is that the container is locked and booby trapped.
“Johan! You’re up!”
With Ovha’s guidance it only takes him moments to start dismantling the security around the lock. It makes me wonder, is this really the blessing of a Supreme Goddess of Order and Justice? Because I feel like this is the realm of thievery and knowledge and there’s other gods for that stuff. Does the ‘Supreme’ part of Ovha’s title have anything to do with this? Or is it just that anything goes whenever that perpetual prayer machine is involved? Either way, I’m not going to get answers, nor do I really care. The important part is this blessing is making our job a hell of a lot easier. I definitely need to give Ovha some proper thanks later, maybe throw in an offering… is an intrusive thought I immediately discard. I won’t be brainwashed so easily, you shyster sister!
“Jackpot!”
A cheer from Johan and a loud click from the box serve to announce our safecracker’s success. The others are already huddled around since we’re clearly doing something interesting around here, and we all hold our breaths as the extra-secret treasure is revealed.
“It’s… a ball?” Johan is rightly confused.
“More of an egg shape, isn’t it?” Mark points out.
“What a letdown. I got all excited for nothing,” Viktor sighs.
“Well, it’s shiny, so let’s just bag it anyway.”
The others look at me funny as I make that suggestion. What? I know it doesn’t have that mystic glow, but this fist-sized egg-thing’s still carved out of a large green jewel of some kind. That kind of pointlessly fancy stuff might not be as valuable as it used to be, but it’s still a worthwhile find, so I reach out to grab it.
“… Edgar, no!”
Unfortunately, the sister’s warning comes a little too late, and as my fingers touch the soulstone, I find myself instantly blacking out.