My name is Michael. I’m 12 and I feel like I might not reach 13. I swallow loudly, take a deep breath, and open the door in front of me. The room is small, with a tiny window in the back, a desk and some chairs in the middle, and fully-loaded bookshelves on either side. It’s the church’s office, but I know it better as the ‘getting yelled at by Mr. Klein’ room. Sister Agatha is in here a lot. For me, it’s only my second time in three days, the first one being when I came back late and got scolded harshly for it. Mr. Klein is waiting for me at the desk, and he looks just as super-serious as last time. I don’t like him when he’s like that. He’s so intense and scary that I’m afraid he might just sell me off or something.

“… Michael, I’m not going to kick you out of the orphanage, so take a seat and calm down.”

“Y-yes! Uh, Sir!”

Seems he could tell what I was thinking. As expected of Mr. Klein, he can do anything. For now, I sit down and look around to take my mind off things, but there’s really nothing in here to see besides books. Though, now that I’m looking at them, there’s a lot. Most of them look very old, too. I’m a bit curious, but I can’t read, so I can only guess what’s inside. Nothing fun, I bet. This is a strictly no-fun room, after all.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now then, let’s get right to it, shall we?”

He reached into the desk between us and brought up an opened envelope addressed to him, from me. Inside is a letter that explains the plan Mr. Edgar and I came up with the day after we met. I wasn’t sure when I’d see Mr. Klein again, so I had Alex write that for me, rode my bike to the next town over, and dropped it off at his office. Ah, no good, I’m getting nervous again just thinking about it.

“Let’s recap. You want this Mr. Edgar and his team to help you scavenge Khradstgraad’s inner ruins three times a week until winter snows everyone in. You’ll work as their guide and spotter, they’ll do all the heavy labor, and after each trip you split the profits 20-80 in their favor. Is this correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

I don’t think I could’ve explained all that face-to-face, so I’m really glad we made that letter. Good job, me!

“To be honest, I was surprised. It’s not like you to formally seek my permission like this, least of all to work with others. Normally you’d just try to handle everything on your own and ask for forgiveness after the fact.”

I have nothing to say, because that is the truth.

“While I am glad you’re doing things properly for once, I have to wonder – why the sudden change of heart?”

“Uh, Mr. Edgar said he won’t help unless you said it was okay.”

“Indeed? He failed to mention that when I visited his camp shortly before coming here. Imagine my surprise when I discovered they were the same group who incited Sister Agatha to violence not three days ago.”

Wait, that’s what he’s worried about? Not the whole extorting the orphans part? Well, I’m sure Edgar explained it was just an act, so it’s not that big a deal, right?

“Don’t you think you should’ve asked for her opinion before mine?”

“… Why?”

“Why, you ask? Are you saying she’s not involved in this?”

“I, uh, I mean, she really isn’t. This is just between me and Mr. Edgar, right?”

“So what happens when these total strangers turn their back on you, hm? What if they decide they don’t want to share anymore, so they beat you bloody and leave you in the ruins?”

“Mr. Edgar would never!”

“Why not? You’re just some kid. You don’t even have parents. What could possibly stop him?”

“The sis–!”

The words get stuck in my throat like moldy bread.

“The sister will come save you. It’s her sworn duty to protect those in her care, so of course she will. In other words, you rely on her for your safety, yet do not think she deserves a say when you actively endanger yourself. Do you see the problem here, Michael?”

I can only nod as my cheeks burn with shame. Without really thinking, I’ve been using the sister’s strength as an excuse to do what I want. When did I become this kind of spoiled brat? I feel like such an idiot it actually kinda hurts.

“If you understand, then go find Sister Agatha and get her permission. If she’s fine with you working with Edgar’s people, and you can assure me you won’t drag her into any fights, then I’ll support this project of yours as best I can.”

“R-really?”

“Yes. I still need to finish looking into these thugs’ backgrounds and prepare a few things on my end, but in my opinion this is a worthwhile endeavor.”

“But you said you didn’t trust them…”

“I don’t. I expect they will try to cheat you out of your fair share. However, I can tell they’re not stupid enough to try anything physical if they know Sister Agatha and I are directly involved. You weren’t mistaken about that, at least, but you really need to stop relying on us so much that you become reckless, young man.”

Mr. Klein really is incredible. I really want to know why he keeps helping me so much even though I keep making trouble. He said he’ll tell me when I’m older, but… Well, I guess he did trust me with a secret mission, so I’ll trust him back. For now, manners!

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“You’re very welcome. Ah, before you go, can I ask why you want to work with them in particular?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why not team up with one of the scavenger groups in the hamlet? Wouldn’t it be more efficient to join an already experienced team?”

He means the old farts that live in Broketown, but he’ll never say that out loud. Anyway, it’s a good question, now that I think about it.

“Huh. Not sure. I guess I just want to help Mr. Edgar out a little.”

“And what makes you think they want or need your help?”

“I mean, aren’t they also orphans, in a way?”

“… In what way?”

Huh? Is he seriously asking? Isn’t it pretty obvious?

“They lost their motherland, right?”

A lot of the grown-ups are obsessed with the Empire. I can’t relate. It’s just a big pile of smoking garbage to me, but for them it’s something special because they remember how it used to be before. Now that it’s gone, it probably hurts a lot. I can understand that much, especially after Edgar told me how he felt abandoned.

“Hm. Well, it’s fine if you think that way. Just don’t get too attached to those thugs.”

“I know, sir. That’s why I said I’d only help them a little.”

“That you did, though how much is ‘a little,’ exactly?”

“Hmm… I think… at least until they graduate from scum to dregs.”

“Ah. Ach-hem! I see. And, uh, what would the difference be?”

Am I imagining things, or did Mr. Klein’s face twitch a bit there?

“Well, they’re both useless, but scum makes you sick while dregs are just kind of there, not bothering anyone.”

It’s an improvement, however small. Mr. Klein seems to be thinking really hard about what I just said, though. He’s nodding a lot while holding his hand over his mouth and making ‘mhm, mhm’ noises. Did I happen to say something super smart? I hope so.

“Very good. Off you go, then.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll be right back.”

I leave the church office feeling rather excited. I think I overhear snickering as I walk away, but that couldn’t be it. Mr. Klein’s too old and mature for such a childish laugh. It’s probably just Theo playing around somewhere. More importantly, I have to find Sister Agatha. She’s useless in many ways, but she still tries her best with the chores, so she’s probably in the backyard. Sure enough, I find her trying desperately to rake loose autumn leaves into a big pile even though the wind keeps scattering them all over the place. She’s been at it all morning and it’s almost lunch now, though I see she’s adopted a new… strategy.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“Hiya! Hey! Hup!”

She’s now chasing the floating leaves and spearing them on the rake’s teeth with swings so fast that I can’t even see them. Lulu and Anika are sitting, watching, and occasionally clapping while Rebecca naps on the grass between them. Is this really okay? I feel like they might get the wrong idea that this is somehow normal behavior for a lady. At the same time, all of them seem to be having fun, and I don’t want to ruin that, but I kind of have to.

“Sister! Can I talk to you for a bit? It’s important.”

“Of course, Michael! Just a second.”

She grips her weapon (I guess?) with both hands, does a big wind-up, and swings it fully in a wide circle around her. There’s a sudden rush of air and a lot of rustling. I reflexively close my eyes, and by the time I open them, there’s not a single leaf left in sight. Not just on the ground or in the air, but even the trees on the edge of the yard are suddenly barren. As expected, she truly is just a person-shaped muscle. Wait, did the breeze stop as well? Is this really a thing that can happen? Ah, well, the girls are clapping happily like they just saw a show, so I won’t say anything.

“Do you need me for anything, my child?”

She asks me with a bright smile… in her mind, at least. She can’t help that it looks kinda wrong and creepy. Even after two years I can’t get used to it, so I focus on her scar instead of looking at her whole face. That old wound is plenty gross on its own, but it’s the cool kind of gross, so it’s easier for me to deal with.

“It’s about Mr. Edgar from a few days ago. Remember him?”

“Ah, yes. The kind gentleman who helped you get home. What about him?”

“He’s, uh, he’s one of the people that made a fuss earlier that day.”

“Was he? I didn’t realize at all,” she looks concerned. “He probably doesn’t know I’m bad with new people, so I hope it wasn’t too awkward for him.”

The sister definitely has a special relationship with faces, and I’m not talking about the weirdness of her usual smile. It takes her a long time to remember how anyone looks unless they insult the Supreme Goddess, in which case she’ll always recognize them no matter how many times their teeth, jaw, and nose get… rearranged. The Scumperor’s dead meat for sure if she ever sees him again, but she clearly doesn’t think badly of Edgar, which is the important bit.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind. That aside, I want to go scavenging with his friends.”

“Oh, dear. This, again? How many times do I need to tell you that’s way too dangerous for a boy your age?”

There it is, that pointless worrywortness of hers. Hm? Is that even a word? Eh, it is now.

“That’s exactly why I want to go with them. I’ll just tell them where to dig and what to move, and they’ll handle all the dangerous work. It’s a lot safer than me doing everything myself, right?”

“I suppose that’s true, but I do wonder why you never asked me to help.”

“… What?”

“Your Sister Aggy’s very strong, you know,” she flexes triumphantly.

“I know.”

I wouldn’t say it’s the only good thing about her, but it’s definitely her best part. Honestly, I have no idea where in those noodle arms she hides all that power, but that’s really not the issue here.

“It’s just that… sometimes, you’re… a little clumsy.”

I try to break it to her gently since I don’t want to upset her, but if she tries to dig through those ruins she’ll end up flattening everything, treasures included.

“Oh, dear. You noticed, did you?”

I can’t help but stare her dead in the eye as she suddenly starts acting bashful. Is she for real? I’d have to be deaf, blind, and lame not to notice this walking disaster of a woman. Does she seriously not know how obvious it is? Look, even the girls are looking at her funny, and Rebecca can’t even speak yet! I mean, Rebecca’s mute, but that’s beside the point!

“Sistew Abby, is cwumsy?”

“Ah-ha! I’ve been exposed! I’m so embarrassed!”

“…”

Okay, Lulu can be forgiven for not noticing since she’s cute, but that sister shouldn’t act so innocent when she breaks a window every time she sneezes. I don’t care that she fixes it up after, it’s still scary! No, no, calm down, me. Once you’re old enough to interact with adults on their level, you need to be able to hide your emotions to get what you want. Think of this as training. The art of the deal!

“So, uh, that’s why, I’d rather go scavenging with Mr. Edgar, if that’s alright.”

“Hmm…”

Thankfully the sister got the message, stopped goofing around, and is now considering it seriously.

“Do you absolutely have to scavenge?”

“… I want everyone to grow up happy and have a bright future. I can’t do that with just the stuff Mr. Klein gives us. We need money, and scavenging is the best way for me to earn it right now.”

By the way, I have never once wondered why the sister didn’t have any work outside the chapel. I feel like I already know the answer. If she has to work with her hands she’ll break everything, and if she has to talk to customers she’ll weird them all out with that broken smile. Rather than money, the only thing she’d bring home was a bill for damages she caused.

“Why not wait until you’re 16? Strong and clever boy like you can find much better work then.”

“That’s too long! These are our most important years, Mr. Klein said! We need to learn and grow as much as we can while we have the chance. If we just sit and wait to get older we’ll turn into useless adults. We have enough of those roaming around here already.”

‘Yourself included’ are the words I keep to myself.

“I see. You’ve thought about this a lot,” she sighs. “I feel the same, sometimes. Like I could be doing so much more for all of you.”

No, things actually work out better when you do nothing at all, so please stop that.

“Alright. You can go along with Mr. Edgar–”

Yes!

“–but on one condition.”

Uh-oh.

“I’m going to come along as a chaperone.”

Noooooo! Damnit, she’ll ruin everyth– Wait, hold up.

“What’s a chaperone?”

“I’ll just keep an eye on things, make sure you boys don’t get tangled up in anything too dangerous. I’ll not meddle so long as you handle yourselves appropriately.”

I see. If she’s just watching out of worrywortness, then that’s not too bad. It does mean leaving Alex and Theo in charge around here, but the sister surely understands that… is something I can’t say with a straight face.

“Are you sure it’s okay to leave the orphanage without an adult? We could be gone for almost a whole day at a time.”

It’d be nice if Mr. Klein was around to keep an eye on things, but he’s a very busy man and it takes about five or six hours to make a round trip to his office with my bike. I’m sure he can make it quicker, but it’s still a long trip. That he visited us twice in the same week is already an exception.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” the sister says. “Unlike you, the other kids are incredibly well-behaved, so they should be fine so long as I pop into the church once or twice an hour to check in on them.”

Getting to the ruins that haven’t been completely picked over takes at least an hour of careful walking, and that’s just one way. What the sister just said sounded like utter nonsense to my brain. However, my ribs know better. ‘Popping in’ like she says is definitely doable with her ridiculously powerful legs. It’s what’s upstairs that’s the issue.

“Won’t you get lost?”

“Ah! Now that you mention it…”

Oh, no. I’m getting a bad feeling from her worried face. ‘If I can’t come, then you’re not going at all’ is definitely where this is going.

“I suppose I can just ask Mrs. Neumann to babysit if it comes down to it.”

The sister surprises me with an actually decent idea, though I can’t say I like all of it.

“Does it have to be Mrs. Neumann?” I whine a bit. “She’s mean and she smells weird.”

“Nonsense. She used to be a teacher. I’m sure she’ll do just fine.”

And I’m sure the others will absolutely hate it. Lulu has no idea who we’re talking about, but Anika’s met her, and she’s making quite the face right now. It’s like she just stepped in dog poop with both feet. I bet she’d complain too if she wasn’t so reserved.

“Why don’t we all just go with Michael’s friend?” she suggests instead. “We can treat it like a picnic.”

“Picnic!” Lulu cheers.

“Absolutely not.”

I put my foot down. I know she’s desperate not to be left alone with that old hag, but she doesn’t need to worry. The sister had the right idea, we just need to find someone who’s less likely to stick us kids in the oven and bake us into a pie. I have a few people in mind, and I’m sure I can bring the sister around later, but right now I need to deal with a sudden crisis.

“Aww…”

Namely, that Lulu is sad because she can’t go out and play with everyone.

“But a picnic does sound good,” I reassure her. “We don’t need some dirty ruins to have a bit of fun.”

“Yay!”

Watching Lulu’s mood go up and down like this is bad for the heart, in a good way. Ah, I also make sure to give Anika a firm nod. She’s still scared of Mrs. Neumann, so it’s my way of reassuring her that I’ll take care of it. It seems she gets my meaning and lets out a sigh of relief.

“What a splendid idea! Though, I do wonder if Theodore can handle it. It’s already autumn and the poor boy’s as bad with the cold as ever. What to do…”

As expected of the sister, she finds something new to fuss over the instant we change topics. Well, it’s not like I don’t understand. She wants to go on this big picnic as much as the girls, but if we do that we’ll have to either leave Theo behind or we risk him getting sick again. Unlike her, however, I actually remember things.

“We still have that special bottle, the one that keeps hot things hot. Theo should be fine if he fills it with tea before we leave.”

“My, that’s true. I completely forgot we had that.”

“Woah, you guys have a thermos?!”

Right, that’s what it was called, but Anika, is it really something to get excited about? It looks a bit funny, but it’s just a metal bottle.

“We do indeed,” the sister happily says.

“How?! I thought those were special items only for nobles and officers!”

… Are they?

“You see, Anika, Mr. Klein offered Michael anything he wanted as a special present for being such a good boy last year, and he asked for something that would help his little brother. He’s unbelievably kind, isn’t he?”

Ugh. I really wish she wouldn’t gush over me so much. It’s kind of gross, and not in the cool way like her scar. Also, I feel like I should apologize to Mr. Klein. I had no idea a thermite was something so high-class! Didn’t buying it make the budget angry?!

“Absolutely. I already know my new big brother’s the best.”

“Huh?”

Oh no, did the sister’s stupidity spread to Anika too? I’ve never heard her say anything like that. And don’t think I don’t see you waving at me down there, Rebecca. I’m not sure when you woke up, but you keep those snotty hands to yourself!

“Noo! I love Mikey the bestest! So gimme uppies!”

Even if it’s Lulu, it should be illegal to be this cute! My hands move on my own as I pick her up and swing her around like I always do. The giggles she makes must be what heaven sounds like.

That’s right, I don’t care what it takes. If it’s for the other kids, I’ll crawl through dirt, filth, snow, and whatever else it takes! Not for the sister, though. She’s an adult. She can handle her own problems… is also something I can’t say with a straight face.

“Ahh! You kids are so sweet you’ll make my teeth fall out!”

Terror overcomes me as the sister places a hand on mine and Anika’s heads. Thankfully, she doesn’t squeeze down on my skull this time and just pats my hair normally. I warily eye the girl next to me, and am relieved that she’s enjoying it. It would seem this nun is useless in many ways, but even she can learn to control her gorilla grip if she tries hard enough. Honestly, I could get used to this.

“Hehe. You’re so cute when you’re quiet.”

“…”

Provided she stops smiling at me.